Hindsight
by Quietly Something
Summary: Follows the good ending of each route. One night, recounted five different ways, ten years after the events of Katawa Shoujo. A night of thinking about the past forces Hisao to consider what his relationships mean to him, and what he is getting out of them.
1. Well-Oiled Machine

**Author's Note (3/9/2018):** Wow, this hit 40 favorites! That's honestly crazy to me- for a Katawa Shoujo fanfiction released over 4 ½ years after the VN, I think it's pretty darn impressive! (And 29 followers as well- why would you follow a completed fic, you silly people?)

I've had a great time getting into this community over the past year and a half, and I'm still going strong working on my various KS fanfiction projects. Here's to keeping our community going years in the future!

So, thanks to everyone for reading and supporting this fic! I'm still super grateful to get feedback on my writing.

Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

 _5:00_.

"Damn!"

I notice it only too late, glancing waywardly at my wrist as I drive back from the dry cleaner's.

For a second, I curse not having my old digital watch. I got used to setting all my alarms on it, so I'm totally out of practice for setting them on my phone instead.

That said, the new one was a birthday present from Shizune- a very expensive one, at that- so it would probably be insensitive to wear anything else.

For the time being, panic is the only thing on my mind. I hit the gas and shoot off down the road without a second thought. A fiery death in a car crash is one concern, but it pales in comparison to the fear of Shizune being pissed at me for my lateness.

My rush only gets me so far, however, and by the time I pull up to the driveway to the house, it's nearly 5:20. Suit in hand, I stumble out of the car only to get the clothes' plastic covering caught in the door, nearly wrinkling the suit in the process.

One quick look at myself in the side mirror tells me I'm a mess right now. This is not going to end well.

I place the suit under my arm and spend a minute sorting through my keys before getting the front door open. The foyer is empty and very quiet- and for just a second, I allow myself to think I may be safe. Just before reaching the closet door, though, an earsplitting snap grabs my attention from behind and my hopes are immediately shattered.

I am greeted by the lovely and unbelievably venomous scowl of my darling wife, already donning her business clothes and clearly not willing to wait for me. I smile apologetically as I turn back to the closet door, but she doesn't even wait for me to open it to begin furiously signing.

[Where the hell were you? I spent-]

I fish through the closet for a coat hanger, doing my best to be quick about hanging up my jacket so as not to miss the gist of what she's saying.

I fail.

[-get here!]

I frown slightly, tucking my suit under my arm to allow me to sign with both hands. [You are going to have to repeat that.]

[You are really trying my patience right now.]

[Sorry.]

She rolls her eyes, taking a step backward and leaning against the wall. [I said that I spent ten minutes trying to find you before I figured out that you weren't in the house. They are supposed to have already arrived, so you should be changed and ready to go by now.]

[Wait, you mean they're coming here? To the house? I thought we were going to meet at the restaurant.]

She looks appalled at me. I really need to get better about keeping those kinds of errors to myself. [Our house is right on the way there. I can think of two separate occasions on which we discussed this.]

[I'm really sorry; I'm kind of disheveled right now. I lost more time than I meant to at the dry cleaner's.] I glance over her shoulder at the driveway through the window. [To be fair, you are the one who insisted I take the suit there before we went to this thing.]

[I'm feeling merciful today, so I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that.] She looks me over again with a contemplative frown, tapping her finger against her chin. [Go put your suit on. You look like you got caught in a hurricane.]

This doesn't exactly seem like the best time for an argument, playful or not, so I just nod dutifully and hurry across the main hallway to the bedroom.

I've never liked formal clothes, and this suit in particular is stuffy beyond words. Unfortunately, it matches Shizune's (above the waist at least) so I didn't have much chance of talking her out of making me wear it. It does look nice on me, admittedly, but that is to be expected considering the small fortune we spent getting it tailored.

I nearly choke on my tie when the doorbell rings, and, trying to look as put-together as possible, I run a comb through my hair and dash out of the room. By the time I make it back to the foyer, there is already a crowd waiting for me. Hideaki, Lilly, Akira, and… someone else? A thin, pale-looking woman with long hair that covers half of her face. She seems very vaguely familiar, but I'm at a complete loss for a name. Whoever she is, Shizune definitely did not mention her.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm here!" I blurt out, stumbling into the room with a magnificent lack of elegance. "I was just… cleaning up."

Shizune rolls her eyes as everyone's attention is immediately drawn to me. I am greeted by a quiet murmur of 'hello's from everyone else in the room.

"It's not a problem, Hisao," Akira says with a wave. "Good to see you again."

I nod awkwardly, glance shifting between the different faces in the room. "Likewise. Hideaki. Lilly…"

Lilly greets me with a polite smile, but it quickly shifts to alarm as she remembers the mystery guest standing behind her. "Oh, I'm sorry, I brought a friend… I hope it's not any trouble. This is Hanako Ikezawa; she was in yours and Shizune's class at Yamaku senior year. I'm sure you remember her."

"Of course," I lie, waving slightly in greeting. "It's no trouble at all. Welcome, Hanako."

Hanako smiles nervously at me, awkwardly positioning herself half-behind Lilly. "Hello…"

I'm not sure what to make of this, so I do my best to change the subject. "Er, don't let me hold anyone up with introductions. If we need to go-"

"It's fine, Hisao," Akira says with a shrug. "There's no rush."

Shizune squints at her with irritation. [Is that a joke? Of course there is a rush. We have a 6:00 reservation.]

"Is that a joke? Of course there is a rush. We have a reservation for 6:00." Hideaki interprets for her, catching me off-guard- it's virtually always my job.

I assume it's because he had to start doing it when I wasn't here to greet them at the door. Shizune is probably not very pleased with me for that.

"We won't have any problem as long as we leave relatively soon, will we?" Lilly asks quietly. "What time is it now?"

Akira checks her watch. "5:30."

"5:30? You're joking; that late?"

"I told you we were going to be late when we swung by Hideaki's."

"You didn't say it like it would be that much of a setback."

"It's not! We're fine."

"It is a thirty-five minute drive to the restaurant," Hideaki interrupts suddenly. "With light traffic. Right now there is heavy traffic. So we are not really fine."

Shizune makes a dramatic gesture. [Thank you!]

Hideaki interprets again, and I have to catch myself to avoid talking over him. "'Thank you.'" He blinks once. "…You're welcome."

I give Shizune my best disapproving look, not that it ever has any effect on her. "Being late is not a competition."

She rolls her eyes at me. [Naturally you would say that. You're the reason we're late, so that means you're losing.]

"Naturally you would say that, Hisao, since you're the reason we are late," says Hideaki. "…Shizune says."

I squint at her. "You're going to keep holding that over my head, aren't you?"

"Oh, Shizune, be fair, please." Lilly interjects. "Hisao isn't the reason we're late. We took much too long ourselves…"

"…Thanks to me, right?" Akira says with a grin, elbowing her playfully. "It's all right; I can take it."

Lilly frowns guiltily. "I didn't say that…"

"You implied it."

"You inferred it, that doesn't mean I implied it."

Shizune shakes her head and begins signing again. [It doesn't matter anyway, because if Hisao had been here to greet you all on time we could have left much sooner.]

"It doesn't matter anyway, because if Hisao had been here sooner we could have left sooner." Hideaki makes eye contact with me as he interprets this, giving me an unreadable expression.

"Shizune, please," Lilly sighs.

"It's fine; she's just kidding around," I say tiredly. "And besides, she's not wrong."

Shizune adjusts her glasses, smiling triumphantly. [Of course I'm not.]

Everyone gets the gist of that one before Hideaki even interprets it.

…Well, besides Lilly, anyway. I briefly wonder if it's a good thing that I've gotten out of the habit of correcting that kind of thing in my head around her.

Lilly sighs. "Still, if we hadn't gotten turned around on the way to Hideaki's-"

"-If _Akira_ hadn't gotten turned around on the way to Hideaki's," Akira corrects.

Lilly puts a hand to her face with obvious exhaustion.

In the midst of all the commotion, a whisper creeps out from the back of the room. "M- Maybe, if we're worried about being late, we should just… l- leave…?"

Every head immediately turns toward Hanako, and she shrinks a little, clearly regretting having said anything.

Looking at her again, I realize that her hair is grown over her face to cover what looks like a pretty serious patch of facial scarring. That would probably explain why she's such a wallflower, come to think of it… in hindsight, I guess I do sort of remember her from high school.

Even still, it irritates me that Lilly would be presumptuous enough to bring someone so obviously socially inept to what was meant to be a relaxed family gathering. I can already tell that I'm going to be feeling awkward around Hanako for the rest of the evening.

"Hanako is right; we should get going," Lilly says quietly, surmising Hanako's anxiousness.

I take a step towards the door to hold it open for everyone else. "In that case, what is the driving situation?"

"Doesn't really matter right this minute," Akira says to me with a shrug, "but I was hoping you and Shizune would take Hanako and Lilly back after all your stuff is over?"

"You mean you're not coming up to the campus?"

"Well, hell, I didn't go to Yamaku."

"You're still allowed to come if you-"

"I know, I know; just teasing. I've got work shit to do. I just wanted to come up for dinner." She glances back over her shoulder as she steps through the doorway. "Besides, I doubt Hideaki would want to go off and get drunk with the graduates."

Hideaki nods mechanically. "I definitely do not want to do that."

"Well, sure, we can drive them back from the campus, then," I say with a shrug.

Shizune nods, taking a step past me. [Sure.]

"Shizune says that is okay," says Hideaki.

Everyone piles out onto the front steps, and I lock the front door behind us. Akira leads Lilly back to her car, and Hanako follows them very closely behind. That leaves me driving Shizune and Hideaki, which I'm thankful for. Shizune hates long car rides if nobody else can interpret for her- since she can't sign when she's driving and I can't watch her sign if I am, our car rides are usually pretty awkward and unengaging.

Shizune sits in the passenger seat next to me, but leans rather disruptively over the console between us in order to look at Hideaki, who sits opposite her in the back seat. I spend the majority of the car ride getting repeatedly elbowed, and I can't help but wonder if this is at least partly Shizune getting back at me for earlier. I can't tell just from looking at her, and she keeps shifting so I can't get a good enough look at her. That seems like a strategy to me, but who knows? I'll make note of this for later.

Hideaki and Shizune sign back and forth for a while as I drive in silence. Eventually this gets tiresome, so I decide to speak up to break into the conversation.

"It seems like your sign language has gotten a lot better since I last saw you, Hideaki. I was surprised to see you keeping up with everyone back at the house."

"I have been practicing on my own," he responds after a few moments. "But I do not think I did a very good job. I think I confused Shizune." After a moment, he adds, "Yes, I did."

"Crowds are hard to get used to. But this is good practice, at least."

"Shizune says she would prefer you interpreted for her at the restaurant."

"Of course. I was going to offer to do that anyway. To be honest, it's a little weird for me when someone else does it."

"It is better that way. You two are like a well-oiled machine together. Everyone is more relaxed if you are interpreting for her."

I think on that for a moment. "…That's good to hear. I think you're right."

"Do you not have to think about what you need to sign when you interpret for her?"

"No, I guess not. It's just kind of… what I do when we're in a crowd, like second nature. But that's what happens when you get fluent in any second language, I guess."

"That is my goal. For it to be second nature."

"That is really sweet, Hideaki. Shizune is touched, even if she won't tell you that."

He waits for a few seconds. "She made a face at you."

"I figured."

Hideaki and Shizune get back to signing to each other, and I catch myself smiling. It really is a nice gesture for Hideaki to go out of his way to improve his sign language, especially since Shizune and I don't even see him very often. I wonder if we'll ever get her father to learn… despite what she might say, I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility.

The majority of the trip ends up being quiet, unfortunately, as speaking back and forth through Hideaki turns out to be fairly inconvenient (and a bit stressful for him, I suspect). I trail along behind Akira's car, and I can see its passengers laughing animatedly- presumably thanks to something Akira said. In hindsight, I'm surprised Hideaki didn't want to ride with her, considering how close the two of them are.

It's nearly 6:30 by the time we finally arrive at the restaurant. Shizune practically leaps out of the car, hiking up her skirt a little to rush inside and dragging me in alongside her. Akira, meanwhile, takes her time getting the others in, leaving me alone to have to speak to the waiter.

The interior of the place strikes me as unusually upscale- actually, 'expensive' is the first word that comes to mind, not that it's much of a concern. Either way, it drives up my expectations enough that I am legitimately surprised (and _very_ relieved) when the waiter tells us our table is still reserved. Evidently the reservation was under a different name than I thought- they must have changed it when Hanako decided to come along.

Everyone else trails in through the entrance as the waiter pulls out our menus, and Shizune frowns with irritation at their nonchalance.

I nudge her on the shoulder to get her attention. [You see? We had nothing to worry about.]

[You got lucky.] She smiles competitively at me. [Don't start celebrating yet; you still have the whole rest of the night to get on my bad side.]

She struts off ahead of me to follow the waiter, prompting a laugh from Akira. Everyone else follows behind, and the waiter leads us to a broad circular table secluded in the back of the restaurant.

The place is shockingly empty, only populated by a few families and one young couple on a date. No wonder they had no trouble filling our reservation- I just hope that doesn't say anything about the quality of the restaurant.

Akira leads Lilly to a seat first, but Hanako rushes ahead to wedge herself into the chair between the two of them. I understand not wanting to sit near Shizune or me, on account of us being strangers, but I am still shocked and slightly offended by how transparent the gesture is.

Shizune takes the seat next to Lilly, and I sit beside her, leaving me next to Hideaki. Thankfully, the chairs are far enough apart that I don't have to crane my head much to see Shizune's signing.

The waiter takes everyone's drink orders, and I can't help but laugh when Lilly and Hanako order champagne. "Lilly, do you have any idea how much alcohol there is going to be at this reunion?"

"I doubt there will be anything nearly as nice as what they have here," she says confidently. "And besides, it's more tasteful to order something from the drink menu at a place like this."

"If you say so."

Hanako smiles gently at that and leans in to read the menu to her. Everyone takes a little bit of time to decide what to eat before starting any conversation.

"So, Hisao, you're in charge of organizing the reunion, right?" Akira asks after a few minutes.

"Not in charge," I say with a shrug. "I helped schedule some of the times and got the building open, but Oikawa did most of the organizational and logistical work. I was just backup, really."

Shizune adjusts her glasses and glares teasingly at me. [Such a lack of initiative!]

"Well, if you think you could do better, you can feel free to organize the next one yourself."

She grins. [Don't tempt me.]

Everyone chuckles as I interpret that. Akira leans back in her chair, swirling her drink around with one hand. "So that means it's okay if you're a little late, right? You don't have to be there right away?"

I nod. "It should be fine. There's nothing important planned to start. I think someone's giving a speech or something later on, but we should have plenty of time for that."

"A speech? Sounds pretty formal for a mostly class-organized thing."

"Yamaku's funny that way. Part of their whole philosophy is cultivating the future, you know? So now that the future is _here_ , they take it pretty seriously."

Shizune makes an intriguing face. [Actually, I was the first person they asked to speak. I got an email about it last month.]

"Really? And you didn't accept?"

[They wanted me to go up and present, but I thought that was insulting. I asked why I couldn't just write a speech and have someone else read it, and they insisted that they wanted to send a message by having me do the whole thing in sign language. The message, of course, being how spectacular and helpful Yamaku is for the disabled.] She rolls her eyes.

Lilly perks up a little, intrigued. "So you think they just wanted you to give the speech because of your deafness?"

Shizune frowns drearily. [That was the impression I got.]

"Hm. That does sound insulting. How thoughtless."

For some reason that makes me a little defensive of my coworkers, and I try to dismiss it. "I wouldn't take it personally, Shizune. The faculty just wants to show how people have grown and succeeded since graduation, and they've heard me talk about you before, so… I think you were just a good example of that."

"That's a nice thought, at least," Lilly says quietly.

Shizune gives me a curious smile, one that I'm not sure what to make of. [Thank you.]

We exchange an odd glance, and I shrug. "You're welcome."

Hanako smiles subtly at us, but immediately covers her face with her menu when I try to make eye contact. I'm tempted to say something to Shizune about it, but since Hideaki would know what I was signing I figure that it may be dangerous, considering how blunt he tends to be. Akira seems to be getting a kick out of my awkwardness, at least, even if Hanako isn't.

Before long, the waiter comes back and I order for Shizune and myself. Lilly orders the most expensive thing on the menu, as is her style. I just hope she's not expecting us to pay for her side of the table. To my recollection, she offered to pay for everyone the last time we got together, so it seems like a possibility that she could ask us to pay this time.

I try not to be on edge about any of this, but it still ends up feeling difficult to make small talk. I regret that I don't have more details of Lilly's or Akira's lives to ask them about.

Thankfully, Shizune seems more willing to come up with something than I am. [So, I didn't realize this get-together was singles only.]

I follow her up as quickly as possible after interpreting. "Hey, that's a good point… what ever happened to that girl you were seeing, Hideaki? With the ponytail?"

"Oh, her." He prods his fingers together with an uncharacteristic amount of reservation. "I do not think that was very serious to begin with. I lost interest. It has been a few months since we last spoke."

"Oh, damn, really?" Akira pouts and leans into the table. "Man, that's too bad; she sure was cute. I wouldn't have minded keeping her around."

"She was not prepared for a serious relationship. She had no mind for the logistics of it," Hideaki says matter-of-factly. "…Also, she kept criticizing the way I dress."

"Man, you Hakamichis, I swear. What the hell are the _logistics_ of a relationship?"

Shizune glares suspiciously at Akira. [If you have to ask that, you probably aren't prepared for a relationship yourself.]

I frown at her without interpreting. [Come on, you have to be more polite than that.]

[It's your job to pass my words on, not decide what I can and cannot say.]

[Well, it's your job to get along with your cousins without embarrassing us.]

She thinks on that for a second. [I'm just teasing.]

[That's kind of hard for me to convey.]

[…Okay, fair enough.]

I glance back over at Akira, who is watching us suspiciously. Before she gets the chance to ask, though, Hideaki jumps in to save us. "There is a lot to determine in a relationship. Who does what, who decides what, who gets to-"

"Oh, please, talk about cold and emotionless!" Akira interrupts loudly.

He flashes her a smug half-smile. "Well, I imagine there is not much left to discuss on that front when you are middle-aged and stranded in an old marriage."

"I am _not_ middle-aged, you little shit!" Akira smacks him playfully on the back of the head, making enough noise to draw the attention of the patrons at another table. Upon noticing this, she grins with embarrassment and shrinks into her seat a little, quieting down. "I am in the prime of my life; this the best age to be a working woman… and my marriage is healthier than ever, thank you very much."

"If that is true, then why did your husband not come here with you?"

"Oh, give me a break. This is a business trip, not a vacation; he needed to take care of the kid. Or would you have me hire a babysitter for the entire week?"

"Like I said, it is a matter of logistics. If you spent more time planning these things, you could have just left Mami with family and made it a romantic getaway."

"Good one," she snorts. "They'll get her to themselves over my dead body. One week alone with 'em and she'd come out with a kilt and a business degree."

Shizune scoffs silently. [What's wrong with a business degree?]

"Oh, come on, you know what I meant."

Trying to avoid a conflict, I do my best to redirect the conversation. "Hey, why didn't you want to bring Mami down, too? I swear I haven't seen her since she was in diapers."

"It's like I said, it's just a business trip. She doesn't handle airplanes well, and she'd just have to spend the week in a hotel room." Akira hesitates for a minute, getting a bit more serious. "I want Japan to be special for her, you know? I'm already worried she's gonna feel distanced from it. If we're coming down, I want to make it a good memory."

"Wait, so you're staying in a hotel room? I assumed you and Lilly would be staying in that old summer house together."

"You mean the one up north? That's, like, a day-long train ride from here. I've got three conferences in the city; I have no time for that."

"But you aren't both staying _together_ in a hotel room for a whole week, are you?"

"No, Hanako was gracious enough to let me stay with her," Lilly chimes in, tilting her head down. "…Which I greatly appreciate, by the way. I don't know if it would even have been feasible for me to come along otherwise."

"Mm, of course," Hanako says quietly.

There is a brief pause, and Akira raps her fingers along the table, apparently attempting to move the subject away from Hanako. "Hey, so if I can ask… how's my accent? Do you think it's gotten worse at all?"

"It's pretty subtle," I say with a shrug. "Barely noticeable."

"Agreed. It sounds fine to me," Hideaki adds. "It is much less pronounced than Lilly's, anyway."

Akira breathes a sigh of relief. "Great, I was kind of worried."

"Yes, and so was _I_!" Lilly says disappointedly. "What does that mean, Hideaki? Do you think my accent is severe?"

"It is definitely more pronounced than it was last year," Hideaki declares.

She sighs, turning in my direction. "Hisao?"

I am a bit startled by the confrontation. "Er. I mean, it's not exactly subtle…"

"Oh, I was afraid of that…" She puts a hand to her forehead, exhausted. "I think I tried to convince myself that it wasn't all that noticeable."

"Well, you still sound like you. Just, you know, a bit more… Scottish."

"I realize that. I'm just not totally comfortable with the idea."

"Well, if it's any consolation, you still speak better English than I do," Akira says with a shrug. "If you're worried about fitting in."

"Your English is perfect. You're just saying that."

"No, really. Between your skin and your accent, sometimes I forget you even _are_ Japanese when you start speaking English."

Lilly frowns, resting her head on her hand. "Well, that's hardly what I'm going for."

Akira winces a little at having said the wrong thing, and there is a brief awkward silence. Hanako glances around uncomfortably.

I clear my throat. "…Is everything okay, Lilly?"

Suddenly a little self-conscious, Lilly sits up and arranges herself. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry to dampen the mood; I'm just being dramatic. Everything is fine." Still, she seems a bit down.

I cup my hands together and sit back, and end up locking eyes with Shizune, who raises an eyebrow and engages me privately. [Does she really sound that different?]

[Honestly, I don't think it's all that different from last time; it's been too long since we spoke to them last for me to gauge it accurately. But the accent is fairly strong.]

She purses her lips… I would almost say sympathetically, if I didn't know better.

Everyone at the table spends the next minute or two trying to come up with a way to start a new conversation, and our food arrives in the meantime. I poke at it absentmindedly as I try to come up with something to say, and Shizune gives me a disapproving look for my lack of manners.

"What about, uh… Roy, Lilly?" I ask after a while. "Didn't you say last year that he wanted to learn Japanese? I'll bet speaking more Japanese could be good for your accent."

"That's what he said, yes," Lilly replies. "I tried to teach him at the time, but he doesn't take to it well, and learning a language requires a lot of dedication as it is. It's hard to find the time…"

"A- are things going well with him?" Hanako asks out of the blue, taking me (and evidently Lilly as well) by surprise.

"Well enough," she says quietly. "Maybe moving a bit slower than I'd like, but… I think we're both focused on work right now."

"You need to focus on logistics," Akira hums, her mouth full. Everyone cracks up besides Hideaki, who just nods seriously without understanding the joke. Lilly seems to lighten up a bit after that.

Dinner drags on for an uncomfortably long time after that, and it gets dark while we are still in the restaurant. I notice Shizune neurotically checking the time, but surprisingly she never mentions us taking too long.

Her whole behavior all throughout the evening has taken me off-guard, though I admittedly may just have a low threshold for surprises when it comes to Shizune. Still, it's unusual for things to go so smoothly with Lilly and Akira, and even though I'm happy to see it, it makes me wonder if something is going on under the surface. It's been over a year since I last saw either of them, now, and I can't shake the feeling that they don't quite feel like family… as though the friendly air between us is just the impersonal kind of façade you put on around strangers.

That makes me feel guilty, but more than that it makes me concerned… she doesn't talk about it much, but I know Shizune's relationship to them is very important, even if only in principle. If she feels the same way that I do, it is possible this distance is making her more uncomfortable than she's letting on. And God knows she would never come to me to talk about that if she thought she could work it out on her own.

At the end of dinner, Lilly offers to cover the bill, and Shizune adamantly refuses, leading to an awkward little debate. In the end, they are both too stubborn to let up and we end up just splitting it halfway, with Lilly covering Hanako and Shizune covering Hideaki in retaliation. Only those two could make polite generosity into such a transparent competition. Nobody much dwells on the point, though.

We all gather around to split up in the parking lot of the restaurant. It's a full moon tonight, and the natural light is beautiful and atmospheric. It makes me thankful that I don't live in the city anymore, with all the light pollution. Shizune demanded distance from the city when house-hunting, and at the time I thought it was just her wealthy blood wanting a larger house. With time, though, I think I've come to appreciate the idea a little better. Shizune's little quirks like that usually turn out to be a lot more virtuous or at least good-natured than they look. It makes me really appreciate having her around- she gives me more perspective, I think.

Akira bids us goodbye and gives me a surprisingly strong bear hug. She promises us that next time she'll bring her family along so we can catch up, but I have my doubts. Hideaki, meanwhile, doesn't say much of a goodbye to Shizune or I at all, not that he's going anywhere far. He and Lilly just awkwardly acknowledge each other without hugging, and then he piles into the car with Akira. Lilly and Hideaki may just have the most confusing relationship of anyone in the bunch, come to think of it.

And that leaves me driving everyone else. The four of us get into the car without another word, and Shizune is left pouting in the passenger seat with nobody to talk to.

With Akira gone, the atmosphere is much quieter, and I am suddenly a lot more concerned about being able to make normal conversation. From the look of her, Hanako will have a nervous breakdown if I even breathe too loudly in her general direction, and Lilly seems to be dedicating most of her energy to making sure that doesn't happen.

As such, small talk seems pretty much impossible during the drive, so I dedicate my energy to navigating. Unfortunately, considering I drive to Yamaku every single morning, the route is basically automatic, and I can't stop my mind from wandering. Eventually I resign myself to eavesdropping on Lilly and Hanako's quiet chit-chat.

By the time we pull up to Yamaku's gate, I am immeasurably relieved to have the opportunity to be able to talk to Shizune again. The four of us stand side-by-side at the entrance, and, after I explain where we should be going, Shizune shoots off ahead of us, forcing the rest of us to hurry in order to keep up.

Despite the absolutely crammed parking lot, the grounds themselves seem deserted. A few signs plastered to the walls direct us to the cafeteria, where we are supposed to hear the much-anticipated speech. I had been under the impression the grounds would be open for us to walk around on, but judging from the fact that we're the only ones outside, I can only assume I misunderstood something.

It's eerily silent at first, but as we get nearer to the cafeteria the sound of commotion starts to become obvious. As it does, Lilly tightens her grip around Hanako with a look of genuine concern. The four of us, all standing in a row, throw open the doors with a bit of grandeur, and the cafeteria full of people bursts into full view. An ocean of faces I barely recognize stretches on from one end of the room to the other. It's a little intimidating, even to me. Shizune, on the other hand, looks completely enlivened by the crowd, and her eyes dart around the room without paying the three of us any mind.

Hanako lets go of Lilly, her expression uncomfortable and afraid. "I'm sorry… where… where is the bathroom…?"

I point back the way we came. "Through the double doors, down the hall and on the left."

"Th- thank you…" she says quickly, slipping out almost immediately.

Lilly takes a deep breath, throwing her head back.

I guess now is as good a time as any to bring it up. "Uh, Lilly, is… she going to be okay?"

"I hope so," Lilly sighs. "…I'm sorry; it wasn't too presumptuous to bring her to dinner, was it? It seemed rude not to invite her."

"No; I would have done the same thing."

She smiles apologetically. "Thank you for saying that, Hisao. She just… well, I really thought it was important for her to come here tonight. She's a close friend of mine… I realize that you may feel a bit uncomfortable around her, so I appreciate the accommodation."

"You'd do the same for us," I say with a useless shrug, the undue praise making me feel unusually chivalrous. "I hope you don't-"

A sudden tug on my sleeve pulls my attention back to Shizune, who narrows her eyes impatiently at me. [Come on. I want to get a drink; I need you to stand nearby and look pretty.]

[Just a second.] I turn back to Lilly to finish my thought. "-Er, as I was saying, I hope you don't mind if we split up for a while?"

"Of course not," Lilly says gently. "We'll meet up later?"

"Right. We'll be around here if you need us."

"Okay. Thank you."

I turn back to Shizune, and she takes off into the crowd towards the far end of the room. It's an odd feeling to see people from my class again; I would be tempted to try and make introductions if there were enough people I was confident I could remember the names of. Unfortunately, most people feel only distantly familiar at best. I hope that Shizune is feeling more social than I am.

We find the bar quickly enough, and to my surprise it is in fact an actual _bar_ , complete with stools and a college-aged bartender. I'm surprised to see that the school was willing to shell out the money to pay for that, but it pales in comparison to my shock when I order a drink for Shizune and myself and find out that everything is on the house. It seems like there has to be a catch somewhere, but I don't have time to figure it out before I hear my name called out and my thoughts are scattered.

"Hisao, good to see you! I was wondering when you'd show up."

It's Akio Mutou, my former teacher and current boss. He slumps into the stool next to me, his lumbering frame blocking most of the room behind him.

I slide my stool backwards in order to look at him and Shizune at the same time. "Akio! Been hanging around the bar all evening?"

He runs a hand through his greying hair, clenching his glass with the other hand. "You know me too well. I'd love to walk around and fraternize, but God knows I couldn't remember every kid's name, and I'd rather not embarrass myself…"

"Well, I hope you remember Shizune, at least."

Shizune gives me a suspicious look. [So, you're on a first name basis with our teacher now?]

[Well, I do talk to him virtually every day. So, we're friends, in a sense.]

She puts a hand to her head. [This is going to be awkward.]

I hold up a hand between them to introduce the two of them, and Shizune smiles with some discomfort.

Akio chuckles awkwardly. "Of course I remember. Although, I'm used to Hakamichi. But I guess Shizune would be more appropriate now, huh?"

Shizune grits her teeth. [Yes, of course. It's good to meet you again… Akio.]

I try to convey as little of her discomfort as possible when I interpret that.

"Anyway, you look great," he says with a shrug. "Hisao's told me a lot about you. I can't say I'm surprised to hear that you've been successful in the business sphere."

She smiles proudly. [Is that so?]

"Oh, yeah. You were one of my brightest students back in the day. You can usually tell who's going to go far and who isn't pretty early on."

"I don't think you're supposed to be saying stuff like that," I laugh, taking a drink. "Favoritism, and all that."

Akio shrugs. "Well, little late for that now. I'll let you in on a trade secret, Shizune. All teachers pick favorites. It's just how the job is done."

Shizune glares at me expectantly. [Really? All teachers?]

I exchange a glance with Akio. "Well, essentially. Some students are good, and some are impossible. But having favorites doesn't mean we can't be impartial."

[It sounds like you have too much power for your own good.]

"You shouldn't complain if you _were_ one of the favorites," Akio says light-heartedly.

[Do you really mean that? I was one of your favorite students? I never got that impression.]

"Are you kidding? You had a great work ethic; that was all I could ask for, really. I mean, Mikado was a different story, but that had nothing to do with…" he trails off. "…Hey, wait, she's not with you guys, is she? Mikado? Because… that would really make things awkward, come to think of it."

I'm stricken by my own lack of memory for a second. "Mikado?"

Shizune jabs me in the arm with incredulity. [Misha!]

"-Oh! _Oh_! No, no, I don't think Misha is anywhere near here right now. She moved ages ago."

"Oh? What's she doing now?" Akio asks with mild curiosity.

"Last I heard, she was living in California. She wanted to teach sign language."

"California? No kidding?"

Shizune looks slightly concerned. [Haven't the two of you been keeping any correspondence?]

"Well, not lately. I've had a lot going on."

[So have I, but we've been emailing back and forth for a long time.]

"Oh. That's good; tell her I'd like to get in touch."

All of a sudden, I feel severely guilty. Misha was one of my closest friends for a long time, but I completely gave up putting in the effort to maintain a relationship with her. If she's been keeping in touch with Shizune this whole time, does she think I have been ignoring her on purpose?

Shizune pauses dramatically before elaborating. [Anyway, right now, she's working at a supermarket. She's still looking for work as a teacher, but she's worried that her English isn't good enough. She has only recently learned American Sign Language, so she feels that she's not a desirable candidate.]

"Hm. Well, you have to respect the commitment," Akio says with a shrug, taking a sip of his drink. "It's good to hear she's working towards something; I never had high hopes for that one."

I hesitate to sign this to Shizune. When I do, her face contorts into a defensive scowl, and Akio scratches the back of his head nervously.

"Er, no offense," he adds quietly. Shizune seems unimpressed by this, but chooses not to engage. Thankfully.

Clearly feeling awkward now, he slumps back into his bar stool and wordlessly passes his half-empty cup across the counter to the bartender to get it filled. I wonder how much they're paying this poor kid to cater for such a small event.

Shizune crosses her legs and gingerly wraps her fingers around her cup, her eyes scanning the room for people she recognizes. She looks very formal and businesslike, but… in a hot way. Watching her, I suddenly feel very out of her league, considering my own stuffy-looking suit and unkempt hair. She catches me staring and blushes, but then looks away as if she didn't notice. I fidget with mild embarrassment.

Eventually I settle into my seat, and the booze starts to kick in enough for me to relax about my own social awkwardness. I wonder vaguely why Shizune hasn't felt the urge to go make introductions, considering how interested she seemed in the crowd, but I don't feel bothered to ask about it. Once I start to scan the room myself, though, the reason occurs to me- she's formulating a strategy, just like me. Running through names to try and avoid getting caught off-guard. It's like going to battle. Placing names and faces is a form of ammunition.

We spend about five minutes doing this, and in that time I am forced to confront the fact that there honestly aren't that many people I remember well. In hindsight, I guess I didn't have many close friends during my year at Yamaku, but it seems like a rather oppressive fact now that I'm actually thinking about it.

One woman immediately catches my attention, though more due to the short skirt, stockings and low-cut top than my actual familiarity with her. I try to focus on her face, however, and I've nearly arrived at a name when she starts off in my direction. Unfortunately, as soon as she does, I'm caught completely off-guard and lose my train of thought.

To my surprise, though, she breezes right past me and squeezes herself into the gap between myself and Akio, her small frame making this more graceful than I would have expected. She leans on the counter and sticks her tongue out a little, making the bartender tug on his collar uncomfortably.

"Hiya!" she chirps at him. "You got vodka?"

He frowns confusedly. "Uh… yeah."

"Gimme a screwdriver."

"Okay…"

"But, I want, like, 80% vodka and 20% juice. Like, a _hard_ screwdriver. Can you do that for me?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess."

"Great! Thanks, babe."

She winks suggestively at him, and he smiles uncomfortably, obviously intimidated. She backs up a little and crosses her arms, then notices me and smiles. Akio scoots away from her rather overtly, but she doesn't seem to notice.

"…Hi!" she says with a small wave.

I smile awkwardly, turning to Shizune to start signing again. "Uh… hi, how are you?"

She blinks as she registers that I'm interpreting for Shizune, then shakes her head and smiles even more broadly. "Great!"

"Great."

She stands there for a few awkward moments, a smile plastered to her face as she glances back and forth between Shizune and myself.

"Er. It's Hisao. This is Shizune."

"Shizune. Hisao. …Hisao! Oh, thank God. I was gonna guess Haruto… oh, it's Emi, by the way!"

"Emi!" I declare with a snap of my fingers. "I knew it!"

"Oh? You, uh… you remember me?"

"Yeah, we spoke a few times senior year. You ran track, right?"

"That's right! Nice memory!" She pauses for a second, thinking. "Hisao, Hisao, Hisao… wait, Shizune? As in Shizune Hakamichi? The Student Council president?!"

"That's right."

"Wow! She- er, you… uh, you look great, Shizune!"

Shizune looks Emi up and down, smirking judgmentally at her outfit. [Likewise.]

I do my best not to convey the blatant sarcasm. Emi does not pick up on it.

"Were you friends back then?" I ask. "I don't remember you ever talking."

"Oh, well… eh, you know…" Emi says with an uncomfortable smile. "Everyone knew Shizune back then. She was kind of a figurehead!"

"A figurehead?"

"Like, you know… the big, loud, lady in charge. In a manner of speaking. You know?"

"Uh. Sort of?"

Shizune gives her a suspicious and slightly offended glare, which impressively Emi is able to ignore completely. There is an awkward silence for a few moments, which is interrupted when the bartender clears his throat and sets down Emi's drink on the counter.

With a slightly relieved smile, she grabs it, downs it in one go, and slams the glass down dramatically on the counter. "Ooh, very hard. I like it. One more for the road, hun? Eh, actually, two."

"Uh… sure…" the bartender says softly, taking the glass.

"Thanks!" She turns back to Shizune and me, making an odd face. "So, are you guys, like…?"

I squint at her. "Married."

"Oh! Great! You guys are cute together. I like your matching suits!" She giggles off-puttingly. "Wait, so that means you went to Yamaku together? Oh, that is so sweet!"

"Yeah, I guess."

Shizune adjusts her glasses with a smug grin. [You are unmarried, I take it?]

Emi frowns guiltily. "…Yep. That obvious, huh?"

[You seem very fond of the bartender.]

I interpret that as quietly as possible, glancing over the counter. The bartender seems to be taking his sweet time. I suspect he is procrastinating talking to Emi again.

"Well, you know, they say people are supposed to be all depressed and desperate at high school reunions. Y'know, and available."

[Well, I can't think of any better conditions to get a date than that.]

"Exactly!" Emi proclaims unironically. "When opportunity strikes, right?"

"But the kid's not even from our class. He looks like he's barely even _graduated_ from high school at all."

"Hm, but it's the _atmosphere_ of the thing that has that effect on people, isn't it?"

Shizune barely suppresses laughter. I narrow my eyes at her disapprovingly, but she doesn't seem to care in the slightest.

I do my best to look earnest. "Is that what the vodka is for?"

"Yeah, well, sorta. I guess I'm just trying to cut the stress right now. I've had a long night."

"That so?"

"It's a long story."

"Uh, ma'am?" the bartender whispers from behind us, sliding two glasses of murky orange beverage across the counter.

Emi drinks one immediately and takes the other in her hand. "Hey, I've gotta run, but it was really nice to catch up with you guys! Shizune…!"

Shizune nods, still smirking.

Emi turns to leave, then immediately skids to a stop and turns back to us again. "Oh, but before I go. Have either of you seen Rin Tezuka tonight?"

The name is immediately familiar to me. "The painter?"

"Yeah! Have you seen her?"

"No, but I knew her at school. I've seen her stuff in magazines."

"Mhm, she did some, like, commissioned stuff for a museum or something a while ago. So everyone's heard of her here. She's like a guest of honor."

Shizune squints with a degree of irritation. [But no, neither of us has seen her anywhere.]

Emi pouts a little. "Damn. Well, thanks anyway! Have a good night!"

She rushes off, clutching her drink. Akio gives me a confused look as he slides back towards me, and I shrug.

[Talk about desperate.] Shizune wrinkles her nose and grabs her drink off the counter.

I smirk at her. [Not a fan, huh?]

She holds up a finger as she finishes drinking, then sets the glass down on the counter. [Not a shred of dignity. Did you see that top?]

[It was pretty hard to miss.]

[Exactly.]

"Uh oh, Hisao, here comes Sweater Vest," Akio cuts in suddenly, raising his glass to gesture to the front of the room.

Sure enough, the lights dim as attention shifts towards a portly man in a sweater vest opposite the entrance. Shizune straightens her glasses, glaring curiously. [Who is that?]

"That's Oikawa," I say with a shrug. "He's from a different department."

"History," Akio groans.

"…He's doesn't care for the History department."

"Nor should you, Hisao. That guy's unbearable to talk to. Such a weirdo. We men of science need to stick together."

Akio takes a drink and rests his arm on the counter, sighing dramatically. Shizune looks appalled at his bluntness, though probably just because it sounds out of character to her. After all, for her, he's still just Mutou. The thought makes me laugh.

A few awkwardly loud taps on a microphone silence us, along with everyone else in the room. The front of the room stays lit, putting Oikawa in the spotlight. He smiles uncomfortably, fidgeting with the mic in one hand. "Uh, hi- uh, hello everyone… good evening."

I turn towards Shizune, prepared to interpret for him, but she gestures towards the front in order to point out that they already have a sign language interpreter standing off to Oikawa's side. I guess it makes sense, considering that there is bound to be a number of deaf former-students at the reunion, but it hadn't occurred to me before now. With that taken care of, though, I relax into my stool to listen more attentively.

Oikawa takes an awkward pause, as though he is genuinely waiting for a response. Akio groans and taps on the counter to indicate for the bartender to top him off.

"…Er, so, thanks for coming out," he continues. "I didn't teach when you all went here ten years back, so… I know you all probably don't much care to hear from me, heh… heh heh…"

He wipes sweat off of his forehead and adjusts the microphone. I can almost feel people's stomachs turning at his poor public speaking skills.

"Uh, s-so, anyway, we just wanted to take the opportunity to reflect on things, uh, a little bit. I- uh, we got in contact with one of the graduates from your year, and I know he has a speech prepared; just a little something to, eh… to do that. So I don't want to hold that up any longer. Without further ado, um… Kenji Setou, everybody. I'm sure many of you remember him… so…"

Shizune suddenly turns to me in shock, but I am so shocked myself that I can barely even address her. Of all the people they could have gotten to speak instead of Shizune… I can only imagine how much of a train wreck this will be. I briefly consider slipping off to the bathroom to avoid listening to this.

A scrawny man in a bold white tuxedo slips into the foreground, and there is a brief, muffled exchange between him and Oikawa. I stare with disbelief for a few moments… whoever this Kenji is, he's nothing like anyone I recognize. His hair is slicked back like a movie star, and he is surprisingly handsome and put-together- moreso than me, I imagine, as embarrassing as the thought of that is.

"Thanks, thanks; alright, take a seat, buddy," Kenji laughs, patting Oikawa on the back as he takes center stage. "So, yeah, hi, everyone. I'm Kenji; you may remember me, you may not. Either way, welcome back to Yamaku. I'd say you all look well, but according to my optometrist I think that would probably just be a 50/50 guess."

His joke actually gets a good amount of laughter out of the audience. He adjusts his glasses coolly- they're thin and frameless, and surprisingly fashionable.

"I know what you're all thinking," Kenji declares with a dismissive hand wave. "What's with this asshole in the suit? Why are we trapped here listening to this? Nobody came here for a lecture, right? We graduated so we could be done with them." He shakes his head dramatically, chuckling to himself. "Well, this is only going to take a couple of minutes; I know we're all still catching up. I just want to make a little statement, maybe create a little perspective. Because this is about more than just catching up, isn't it? This isn't just some party. And God knows we don't need an excuse to get drunk with our friends."

He holds out his hand, and Oikawa passes him a bottle of water, which he takes a long drink from. "No, no, there's _meaning_ behind this, right?! This _represents_ something. Something more than, 'look, we're all still around.' We didn't just graduate from high school, we graduated from _Yamaku_. And that means something." He takes another drink. "Alright, alright, do me a favor. I want you to picture, just for a second, your first day at Yamaku. It's something I'm sure everyone can remember, right? Does an image strike you? There was- _is_ \- an atmosphere here, a distinct one. No matter what your background is, no matter how you ended up here, there is a reaction that I'm sure we can all share. Canes, and dark glasses, and bandages, and prosthetics. It's a strange feeling to become a part of a place like that. Even if you yourself are 'healthy', so to speak, you became _enculturated_. It's the structure of this place. It's how engrossed you felt in everyone's health, and in trying to pretend to be 'normal'. For some, it was new, and for some, I'm sure it had followed you your whole life. But it was there, right?"

He shrugs and takes another sip of water.

I cup my hands together, surprised by how eloquently he is speaking. When I knew Kenji at Yamaku, I would have doubted he was even capable of having such a long and yet still coherent train of thought, let alone giving it as a speech.

"Now think on your first week. Your first month. The people you met. People that you're probably surrounded by right now!" He does a broad gesture with his arms. "How long did you spend thinking about all that other nonsense before you had to start stressing out about a test, or getting to club meetings, or making friends? Think about how quickly it turned normal for you. You may have had to go to the nurse every day. You may have had to take three dozen pills before every meal. Who knows? But that's got nothing to do with your memories of this place, or of your education, does it? You _did_ make those friends, you _did_ take those tests, and at the end of the day, you got along fine. And here we are, ten years later, and, well, damn, there's canes and dark glasses and bandages and prosthetics here, too, but that's got nothing to do with it, does it? That's not why we all came tonight."

He shakes his head a little neurotically and hands the water back, gripping the microphone with both hands. "Okay, where am I going with this…? Listen. They called me up and asked me to give a full-fledged speech. They wanted me to talk about my organization and the charities it gives to. Rattle off names, do some gloating. They wanted me to talk about the kids I'm giving a second chance, because those charities are paying their tuition here. But I thought that would miss the point. 'Cause, shit, who am I giving a second chance? Who is Yamaku giving a second chance, for that matter? That's not what this reunion is about. Not second chances. It's not about making up for our 'problems'. Playing catch-up. It's about… adapting."

He sighs loudly into the microphone, leaning back on an unoccupied table. Dramatically removing his glasses, he makes a serious face as though to seem down-to-Earth. "I don't want people to look at my achievements and say, 'Wow, look at how Kenji overcame the odds. Look at how much a Yamaku kid was able to accomplish.' No, that's the wrong mindset altogether. Because, say what you will about what I've done with my life… the real accomplishment is one that everyone here has done. I _adapted_. I'm a part of the world. A regular guy. It's not because I got a second chance, and it's not because I played catch-up. It's just because… I _adapted_. And everyone here has done that. That's what we should be commemorating tonight. Commemorate all the little things in your life you have to be proud of. The _normal_ things. Your husband or wife. Your kids. Your career. That's the point of this. Be glad that Yamaku gave you the space to do it, but don't give anyone credit for what you've done. Because you adapted, too. _That_ is the point of this. And the only thing I want to do is make sure everyone here realizes that."

He puts his glasses back on and takes a dramatic pause, to rousing applause. He smiles charmingly, standing and waltzing back to the center of the room. Personally, I'm still a little too shocked at Kenji's demeanor to will myself to clap, even if the speech was fairly impressive. I crane my head towards Shizune, and she gives me an unusually fond smile, which takes me a little off-guard. I wonder what she'd have to say about all that business about refusing to talk about accomplishments.

"Okay, okay, that's my cue, right? Yeah, my fault for saying 'a couple minutes'," Kenji laughs. "Fine, fine, I'll just say this. It's a beautiful night out, so if you want to get some air, the grounds are completely open for the rest of the evening. High elevation here, so it's good for your lungs. And if you're worried about students… well, most of the kids are gone for the summer, but if you see one, just give 'em a dirty look and tell 'em it'll be their turn next decade." He raises an arm to gesture toward where I'm sitting. "Enjoy the open bar; that's totally on me. Be nice to the poor kid, he's been in that suit for four hours now. Aaaand… that's all. Have a good night, everybody!"

The lights flicker back on over the rest of the room as Oikawa takes the microphone back from Kenji, bookending the speech with another loud screech of mic feedback. After a few minutes of getting back to normal, everyone gathers up again and gets back to fraternizing, though I notice a handful of couples heading out the double doors, presumably at Kenji's recommendation to walk around the campus.

Shizune stands, raising her eyebrow at me expectantly. [You always made him seem much worse when you talked about him.]

I shrug. [He was a lot weirder in school. He must have mellowed out since then.]

All of a sudden, I become extremely curious as to whether he's married or not. Kenji seems to have disappeared by the time I look up again, though, which presents an entirely new set of questions.

Intrigued, I decide to stand to get a better look… but I barely manage to take one step away from the bench before Shizune slips in front of me to cut me off. [Are you bored?]

[What?]

[I'm bored.] She snaps her fingers commandingly. [This is embarrassing. We look like vagrants when we hang around the bar with Mutou and his awful brown trenchcoat.]

[He always wears that coat.]

[He also barely shaves and smells perpetually like alcohol. What's your point?]

I glance over at Akio, who raises his glass in acknowledgment. It occurs to me that I have yet to see his glass empty. After a moment of thought, I turn back to Shizune. [I guess I can't argue with that. I would have gone and worked my way into a crowd, but I feel like I don't remember anyone well enough.]

She straightens her glasses and makes a deliberately condescending (albeit cute) smile. [Feeling shy? How endearing.]

[I hardly see you acting like a social butterfly. I assumed you were conducting recon so that nobody would catch you off-guard. But then, you're probably too prideful to admit that you've forgotten anyone's name, aren't you?]

[Me? Prideful? Never.] She narrows her eyes, then steps forward and grabs my collar in order to pull me into a kiss. I instinctively blush with embarrassment, and after noticing this, she pulls away with a teasing push. Clearly this was just a maneuver to catch me off-guard and therefore gain the upper hand… but, unfortunately, it worked. [You think you understand every little thing about me, don't you?]

I fix my tie as quickly as possible. [Yes, I did, right up until about five seconds ago.]

[You shouldn't have let your guard down.]

[I just didn't think you'd want to draw so much unnecessary attention to yourself. You aren't usually so showy about it.]

[Showy? Don't be so dramatic; nobody even saw that.]

[That's what you-]

"-Hey, excuse me! I hope we're not interrupting…"

[-think.]

I jolt my head up to see a small crowd- two men and one woman. Lilly stands off to the side of them, Hanako suspiciously absent.

I point upwards to direct Shizune's attention. […Nobody, huh?]

She grimaces with sudden defeat and turns to face the crowd. As soon as she lays eyes on them, her expression shifts to something opaque and unreadable. Lilly fidgets with her cane, frowning apologetically.

"No, not interrupting," I say calmly. "You're friends of Lilly's, I take it?"

"Sure, but old friends of Shizune's, as well!" the man in front insists. "You're Hisao, right? It's Masaaki; good to meet you. This is Shunichi, and Yuho. We're all Yamaku graduates."

The other two both say 'hello' simultaneously, with a measured degree of awkwardness that Masaaki seems oblivious to.

I just smile and nod. "It's my pleasure."

"Pleasure's all ours." He turns to Shizune with a slick smile, which she returns halfheartedly. "Shizune. It's good to see you again! We were hoping to get the chance to talk to you. Everyone's been asking what Hakamichi is up to."

[Hello. It's been a long time.] Shizune signs more coldly and firmly than usual. I'm not sure what to do about it, so I just interpret as normal.

"It sure has," he says quietly.

"You're all friends of Shizune?" I ask, looking back and forth among the three of them.

"From Yamaku," Shunichi corrects. "It's like ancient history now, right?"

Shizune squints at that remark. [Ancient history.]

"I can't believe none of us have met, in that case!" I declare. "Shizune and I were really close during senior year."

"Is that when you met?" Masaaki asks with a shrug. "I guess that would explain-"

" _Student council_ ," Lilly suddenly interrupts with uncharacteristic loudness. "We were all in Student Council together. Earlier on."

She clears her throat and tilts her head down, as though she can sense everyone's sudden glares.

Student Council, huh? I guess that would explain it. It really _does_ seem like ancient history to me, but I know from experience that bridges burned in Student Council don't get mended easily.

[Too bad that didn't last.] Shizune purses her lips a little, clearly a bit defensive. The desire kicks in to prevent a conflict, but I also don't want to overcomplicate things if it's just a little leftover resentment from high school.

"Yeah." Masaaki glances back at his posse, and they shrug at each other. "But you really made it work! You and Mikado. It was cool how you guys transformed it."

[Hisao, Misha and me. We put in a lot of work to put the Student Council where it was that year.]

"Right." He looks me directly in the eye, flashing a pseudo-nostalgic grin. "Shizune was the hardest worker back then. Put us all to shame, heh."

"I would imagine," I mumble, trying to gauge him. Shizune hesitates to add anything to that.

He clears his throat and nods, triggering an awkward silence. Lilly sighs, as if to say to them, 'I told you this would happen'.

The woman in the back, whose name I've already forgotten, speaks for the first time in an attempt to be diplomatic. "So, uh, Lilly says you teach here, Hisao. How'd that end up happening?" Nobody seems too excited about this direction of conversation, but we're locked into it now.

I shrug. "Hm? Oh, I don't know. It was a personal sort of ambition, I guess. Yamaku meant a lot to me."

"It must take a lot of patience, to teach at a place like this."

"Patience? I don't know, I guess. I think it's rewarding."

"What are the students like?"

She seems to be genuinely curious, but I don't really know how to respond. "Uh, pretty normal. Lazy, but they ask a lot of questions. It's always been my experience with students here."

"Oh. That's, uh, nice."

She sighs, and the other two guys exchange a not-very-subtle glance. I wish I had more to talk about, but the question is pretty broad.

Lilly, evidently fed up with this, takes a breath and turns to leave, throwing her cane out in front of her. "…I'm sorry. It's been fun catching up, everyone, but I really think I should go find Hanako… she went out to get some air ages ago and still hasn't returned yet."

Masaaki suddenly looks alarmed. "Oh, that's- yeah, you said you were with her. Well, uh… good night, then, Lilly."

"Good night. I'm glad we got the opportunity to do this. I'd love to get lunch the next time I'm in Japan."

"Definitely," says Shunichi.

"It was good to meet you again, Lilly," says the woman.

Lilly pauses next to me before taking off for the door. "Look for me and Hanako outside when you're ready to leave, would you, Hisao?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Thank you."

Before long, she's slipped through the double doors.

"Good night again, Lill- I- yeah, she's out of earshot." Masaaki cups his hands together, frowning awkwardly.

I look Shizune in the eye, hoping for a reaction, but she simply continues to smile dully. I'm not exactly sure how to amend this situation, so I'm just thankful that everyone else seems to be as uncomfortable as me.

I open my mouth to make a second attempt at small talk, but am immediately preempted by a sudden surge of excuses.

"Uh, so-"

"Yeah, maybe we should-"

"I think I have to-"

"Right, may as well get moving."

"Ahem."

I blink once. Masaaki smiles at me. "Yeah, but it was great to meet you, Hisao."

"Definitely," says Shunichi.

"It was good to meet you again, Shizune," says the woman.

They wait just long enough for Shizune to sign, [Good night], before breezing past me in a single-file line. I don't even have time to interpret it before they are out of earshot.

Shizune and I are left standing in the middle of the room by ourselves, surrounded by a swarm of less socially-awkward peers.

I turn to Shizune. […Well, that was weird.]

She rolls her eyes. [I don't know what they expected.]

[What was that woman's name again?]

[Yuho.]

[Yuho! I forgot.]

[So did I, to be honest. Until they reintroduced themselves, that is.] She squints with frustration. […They hate me.]

[Come on. Don't say that.]

[No, it's fine. It doesn't bother me. I was a real taskmaster back then. We never really became that close as friends.]

[Well, that's no excuse.]

[I think it is. It was my fault we stopped speaking. I don't blame them.]

[Be reasonable. I'm sure it wasn't all you.]

[You're sweet. But…] She smiles at me, a little disheartened. […Well. Either way, that killed the mood, didn't it?]

[I guess it did.]

After a moment of pouting, she dramatically snaps her fingers, startling a few people near us. [Let's go for a walk. I could use some air.]

[Me, too. That sounds-]

Before I finish, Shizune turns and brushes past me. I allow myself one loud sigh, an indulgence I rarely take.

She leads me outside, barely even checking behind her to make sure I follow along. It's too dark out to navigate properly, and the campus has only a few scattered lights, making it hard to see our surroundings. I see a few people wandering around- mostly coming up and down the hill- but Lilly is nowhere to be seen. I'm briefly concerned for Hanako's sake, a feeling that surprises me.

Shizune allows me no time to dwell on it, though. Lost in thought, I walk forward for a solid minute or so before realizing that she has begun to trail far ahead me, taking severe, purposeful steps.

I roll my eyes and rush to catch up with her, briefly grabbing her shoulder in order to get her attention. She does turn around, but it seems to irritate her, and she straightens her glasses with a firm expression.

I return it. [Are you okay?]

[I'm okay.]

[What's your rush?]

[I'm not rushing. I was just thinking. It's not my fault you're slow.]

[You're doing that thing again.]

[What thing?]

[The thing where you're obviously upset about something but won't talk to me about it.]

[But I'm not upset about anything.]

[Really?]

[Really. I told you, I'm just thinking.]

[Okay. I'll play along.] I take a breath and briefly glance around, laying my eyes on a bench. With a beckon, I set off towards it, and she follows me with a pout. Leaning back on the arm of the bench, I begin to sign again. [What are you thinking about?]

She crosses her legs and shrugs. [I'm making you worried about me, aren't I?]

[A little.]

[Please don't worry about me. It makes me feel guilty.]

[I won't be worried if you just tell me what's on your mind.]

[Fine.] She puffs out her cheeks, thinking. [Do you think Lilly finds me irritating?]

[What? Of course not.]

[She used to.]

[Well, sure, in high school. You really think she's not over that?]

[I think we just agreed to drop it on behalf of being family, since she went away. But it gets worse every time we see her.]

[Come on, Shizune. She likes you fine.]

She pouts. [I wish she didn't just 'like me fine'. At least when we were fighting all the time our opinions were out in the open. Now it's like we aren't even close enough to be honest about it.]

[I guess I understand that. But I thought you said you weren't upset about anything?]

[It's not upsetting me. I'm just feeling a little contemplative, I think. That's the point of a reunion, right?]

[To be contemplative?]

[To think about the direction your life has gone in! You should be feeling that way more than anyone, since you still have this school in your life. That's a constant that most people don't get to keep, you know.]

[I don't know what you mean. Yamaku has barely changed at all since we went here, save for the students.]

[But your life has changed a lot, hasn't it?]

[Sure it has.]

[So, that's my point. You have a point of comparison.]

[I never thought about it like that.]

[Then it's a good thing you have me, isn't it?]

She rests her arm on the back of the bench and closes her eyes, nestling into her seat with a relaxed smile. She looks too comfortable for me to force her to talk to me, so I take the opportunity to look around.

The people wandering around look like lost students, especially from a distance. I wonder if they can even remember their way around, considering how long they've been away. The campus hasn't undergone any renovations that I can think of, so it really hasn't changed since then. But memory can be an unreliable thing.

I catch myself yawning, and rub some sleep out of my eyes. Despite it being late, I don't look forward to the end of the night. Even if the entire rest of the night has been awkward and unorthodox, I still feel kind of nostalgic about just hanging around on the campus with Shizune.

Lilly is still nowhere to be seen. Who knows how long those two are going to take?

I tap Shizune on the leg with my foot, and she opens her eyes suddenly, surprised. [I have an idea.]

She sits up a little. [What is it?]

[You should come check out the Student Council room.]

Shizune hesitates for a second, glancing towards the building across the courtyard. [The academic buildings are closed.]

[I have a key.]

[That sounds like a flagrant abuse of your authority.]

[Well, sure it is. But do you want to do it?]

I raise an eyebrow, and she smirks at me. [Of course I do.]

[Then come on.]

Shizune stands expectantly, and I laugh at her sudden eagerness. The two of us stalk across the courtyard as stealthily as possible, which is not very stealthily, admittedly, but nonetheless get to the door unseen. It takes me almost a full minute to find the right key, but aside from that, the break-in is basically flawless.

The halls are illuminated only by moonlight, making the atmosphere relatively eerie, but I hesitate to turn on any of the hallway lights and attract too much attention. We both know the way to the Student Council room from muscle memory alone, but I cut her off from entering just to build up the suspense a little more.

I run my hand along the wall until I find the light switch, and the room flickers into view. It's actually mostly a mess, with posters and school supplies basically scattered across most of the desks, but I imagine it's more a sign that people have been busy than anything else. Shizune crosses her arms as she steps into the room, her eyes wide with mild astonishment.

Her hands run along some of the papers on a desk towards the back of the room, and she nearly laughs out loud as she reads one of the lists.

[How many kids are part of this?]

[Twenty-four.]

[Twenty-four? Are you serious?]

[Completely. Five different people ran for president last time around. They would have absolutely put our run in Student Council to shame.]

[Blasphemy.]

[Community outreach, Shizune. Community outreach.] I make my way towards her desk and fish through one of the stacks of paper to grab a flier for their newest event, shoving it into her arms. [Would you believe they wanted to organize a second community festival? One in the spring, near the end of the year.]

[That sounds like far too much work.] I raise an eyebrow at her, and she grins. […But I probably would have killed for it at the time.]

With an amused grin, I walk past her to towards back of the room, gesturing to a board near the corner. On it, ten generations of Yamaku's Student Council, starting with the ridiculous end-of-the-year photo of Misha, Shizune and me. Looking at the photos down the line, the growth is obvious: five members the second year, eight the third, eleven the fourth…

Shizune makes a sour face at the first photo. [You didn't.]

[I sure did. I hung it up myself a few years ago.]

[It's so embarrassing.]

[Blame yourself! It was your idea to pose like that when we took it.]

She tilts her head a little, smiling fondly at it, then turns back to me. [You're making me all nostalgic.]

I sit on my desk and kick my feet up onto the nearest chair. [Well, we did come here to bask in the past, right?]

[As I remember it, we were thinking about the directions our lives have gone in. And how I was feeling contemplative. And then you had the idea to come here.]

[Oh, don't you dare go where I think you're going.]

She grins, encouraged by my dissent. […So, as I see it, we're here so that you can force me to look at my glory days. To rub in my face that I've already peaked.]

[Please stop.]

[And thus to show me how much of a failure I really was at that time, in retrospect.]

[You are impossible.]

[Am I? It can't be a coincidence that we met the old members of the Student Council, and then you brought me here.]

[That's not fair.]

[Oh no?]

[You are really going to drag this out of me, aren't you?]

[I have no idea what you are talking about.]

I shrug, resigned. [Fine, then. You clearly did not peak in high school.]

[Well, that is an interesting thing to say. What about Masaaki and the others? They fled from me in horror.] She makes a dramatically sad face just to mock me.

[Nonsense. They were obviously intimidated by you.]

[And why is that?]

[Well. Because… you are the most intelligent, and capable, and accomplished woman here. And, frankly, it makes everyone else feel insecure.]

She purses her lips. […You forgot 'beautiful'.]

[I thought that might be chauvinistic.]

[Okay, fair enough.] She smiles coyly. [But it's true, right?]

[Well, obviously.]

With a childlike smile, she wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me, pulling me a little off the desk. I push myself off the rest of the way in order to accommodate her, running my hands up her back under her shirt. Before I get the chance to do anything else, though, she stops me and pulls away, giggling audibly in-between uneven breaths.

I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair, leaning back on the desk again. [I can hear your voice. You're giggling; it's cute.]

[Shut up.] She collects herself for a moment, obviously embarrassed about that. [Where do you teach?]

[What? Why?]

[I want to see your classroom.]

[It looks basically the same as this room.]

[But it's your room, and I want to see it.] She snaps her fingers loudly, which instinctively makes me look back to make sure nobody heard it. […Also, I want to have sex on your desk.]

I'm taken aback for a second. [What? Is that a joke?]

[Do I look like I'm joking?]

[You are aware that you accuse me of being perverted, right?]

[It's on my bucket list.]

[Having sex on my desk is on your bucket list?]

[Sex on a teacher's desk.]

[That's weirdly specific.]

[Well, I'm married to a teacher, aren't I?] She pauses for a second. […I have a very realistic bucket list.]

[I don't know. I was in the mood a minute ago, and then you killed it by confusing me. Why would you want to have sex on a teacher's desk? It just sounds kind of uncomfortable.]

[It's scandalous. A classroom is a sacred place for education. Don't you think that's exciting?]

[I don't really get it. It's just… where I grade papers and that sort of thing.]

[Really, you don't get it at all? It's like a scene out of a movie.]

[I honestly don't think it would be as erotic as you're imagining it.]

[Stop trying to spoil my fun.] She adjusts her glasses, looking businesslike again. [Would you at least be able to brush everything dramatically off of your desk and then lay me on top of it?]

[That sounds messy.] She rolls her eyes, and I shrug at her. [I would have to unplug my computer and set that off to the side… and I would probably have to arrange my papers together and sort them, and then file those away… but I could probably arrange to sweep some pens off the desk. Maybe a paper clip or two. How does that sound?]

[Spoilsport.] She takes a breath, looking around the Student Council room a second time. [Let's go. I still want to see it.]

[Suit yourself.]

Shizune glares judgmentally at me as I rearrange the papers we sifted through and shut off the lights. I lock the door behind us, and deliberately don't wait for Shizune to begin hurrying off through the hallway to the stairwell.

The building is still completely empty, and the sound of our footsteps echoing off the walls makes me a little uneasy about getting caught. How fortunate that Shizune doesn't feel the same way. I think.

After a bit of walking we reach my classroom, situated somewhere in the middle of the second floor. Shizune runs her hand over the plate with my name on it, as though she has some kind of admiration for it or something. Her face looks totally genuine, but I can't help but wonder if she's mocking me.

Once I get the door open, I reach for the light switch, but Shizune stops me, so I shut the door without touching it.

She appraises the room with an air of self-importance, then turns to me. Thankfully the moonlight coming in through the windows illuminates her enough to make out her sign language. [You have a favorite student, right?]

[What makes you say that?]

[You said it yourself, when we were at the bar with Mutou.]

[I guess I did, didn't I?] I laugh self-consciously.

[So who is it?]

[Probably… Ishikuno. He's this sweet kid that had to move to the area to be closer to a hospital. He pretends not to know the answers to questions so he doesn't have to talk in class. I call on him all the time, though, so it's alright.]

[Of course you like the smart one.] She wanders over to my desk and picks up a pen, twirling it in one hand. [I've learned this horrible, grave truth about teachers. My whole life's work is being invalidated by favoritism.]

[I think you are attributing way too much significance to schoolteachers.]

I laugh, and she raises an eyebrow at me. [Maybe you just aren't attributing enough. Give yourself a little credit.]

I walk over towards her and snatch the pen out of her hand, placing it carefully back down on my desk, then make my way past it to the chalkboard. I lean back on it to look at her, and she approaches me.

[Well? Is my work space as titillating as you imagined?]

She places her hands on the chalkboard on either side of my head, then leans forward and kisses me. [I do like it in here. I like it when you talk about teaching.]

She presses herself against me and begins to work on undoing my belt, but I place my hands over hers to stop her. Unfortunately, we have to keep breaking apart and keeping distance in order to sign to each other, which cuts down significantly on the intimacy of the situation. For that reason, we usually don't talk so much, but she keeps piquing my interest.

I pull away from her again. [You know that that is a really weird thing to say, right?]

[Why? It's true.]

[You can't just make a statement like that without any explanation.]

[I do have an explanation.] She kisses me again, smiling eagerly. [When you talk about that kind of thing, it reminds me of what I like about you so much.]

[Well, I'm glad you find my mediocrity so arousing, then.]

I chuckle to myself at that, but she seems totally unamused. I shake my head to dismiss it, but she moves away from me when I approach, leaning on my desk.

She raises her hands to sign, but hesitates for a moment before following up. [Hisao, why did you say that?]

[I don't understand. Did I say something wrong?]

She bites her lip, then shakes her head. […I don't think you're mediocre.]

[Shizune…]

[You keep saying things that give me the impression that you think I feel that way.]

[I didn't mean to do that.]

She glances around the room, looking off-put. [Can I ask you to be honest with me about something?]

[Of course.]

[Do you feel like I'm supportive of you? Think about it.]

[I…] I make direct eye contact with her, and she frowns seriously at me. [What makes you think I don't?]

[I was thinking about it before. I don't say 'I love you' enough.]

[Please don't be dramatic.]

[I'm not being dramatic. It's true, I don't. I think I am a little afraid of intimacy sometimes.]

[You literally dragged me in here because you wanted to have sex on my desk.]

[Not like that, idiot. I mean… emotional intimacy. I'm always trying not to shut people out like that. And you're the reason for that. So it's really, really important to me that you don't feel like I'm not supportive of you.]

[I don't feel that way. Our relationship is just a little weird.]

She perks up, suddenly alarmed. [What do you mean by that?]

[No, no! Relax, please. I just mean that it's structured a little differently than most. I make peanuts compared to you. I might feel a little insecure about that sometimes, but it's because you are supportive of me, not because you aren't. I feel like I'm not doing enough sometimes. You make it easy to feel incompetent in comparison.] I flash her a light smile, and she thinks on it for a few seconds before reciprocating it. [But it's not a bad thing. It makes me strive to be better than I am.]

[You're so compassionate.]

[You don't have to flatter me.]

[Hisao, for God's sake, learn to take a compliment.]

[Okay, fine. Thank you, then.]

She nods approvingly. [The reason I get worried about these things in the first place is because you are so outrageously supportive of me, and my career. You're always worried about me and how I'm feeling, and whether I am comfortable with my life, and that sort of thing. You really are a very compassionate person. I really admire that about you.]

[Wow. That… that means a lot.]

[I really love you. And I want to be more like you, especially in that regard. I'm sorry if it doesn't come across all the time.]

[I love you, too, Shizune. And I feel the same way. We make each other better people.] She tilts her head with a slight smile. [Doesn't that just mean we have a really good relationship?]

[Absolutely.] She stares at my face for a few moments, smiling fondly. […I don't know why, but for some reason I was expecting that to go differently.]

[Did… we just… fix… our marriage?]

[I think… we did, yes.]

[Wow. We are the best.]

[It's nice to reaffirm that every once in a while.]

I take a step off of the chalkboard and wander over to the window. Yamaku's campus stretches out seemingly endlessly, and it's all beautiful under the moonlight. Somewhere down below, I spot a patch of blonde hair and realize that Lilly has apparently reunited with Hanako. Something in the back of my mind wonders if they are waiting for us by now, but I quickly sort out my priorities.

Shizune stands to my side and spots the two of them as well. We turn to each other with the same knowing look.

She pouts a little, looking disappointed. […We're never going to have sex on your desk, are we?]

I check my watch- for a second, it makes me wonder how many months' salary she spent on it. […We have time.]


	2. Date Night

_5:00_.

My watch buzzes loudly, and I allow it to for a few moments before shutting the alarm off. "Wow, would you look at the time?"

"What is it?" Hana asks, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"I don't know; you tell me."

I lower my arm to her, and she wraps her small hands around my wrist, pulling her face very close to the face of my watch.

She doesn't say anything for a few moments, so I point my finger to it direct her attention. "Do you know what number that is?"

"It's…"

"…Okay, I know you know it."

She stares blankly for another few seconds. "Five."

"Yes." I blink, genuinely surprised. "…Yes! Good job!"

Apparently satisfied with this, she pushes my arm away from her and pulls herself to the other end of the couch, propping herself up on her knees. "But you said we're _leaving_ at five!"

"We were going to. But we have to wait for Mommy to finish getting ready first."

"Urrrrgh. Why is she not ready now?" She sinks into the seat cushions, both arms propped up on the arm of the couch.

"I don't know. Maybe _she_ doesn't know what time it is?"

"Then she should get a watch, like you!"

"Oh, you're right. But she doesn't have one right now. Why don't you just tell her what time it is instead?"

She sits up, apparently excited by the opportunity. "Okay!"

"Okay, then you have to yell it real loud, so she can hear you all the way in the other room. Okay?"

"Okay, okay!" She pulls herself up onto her feet using my shoulder and faces the hallway. " _Mommy! It's five o'clock_!"

Hana's scream is loud enough to shake the room, causing me to clasp my hand to my ear. She grins at me innocently, and I just laugh at my own stupidity. "Alright, I guess I set myself up for that one."

The noise is met with a violent pounding on the wall from across the hall. " _I'm coming!_ Calm down!"

Hana frowns fearfully, slumping away from me. "…I think I made her mad at me."

I wave her off. "She's not mad at you; she's just grumpy. She can't help it."

"Not grumpy! Not grumpy!" Emi shouts quite grumpily, stampeding into the living room with a towel in her hair. She glances between the two of us, putting her hands on her hips expectantly.

I lean over on the couch with a smug grin. "Hey… it's five o'clock."

"Yeah, I heard, along with everyone else in the building." She pouts, pulling the towel off of her head and shaking her hair out like a dog. "Since when are you so prickly about being late?"

"I'm not; I just like teasing you." I stand and pick up Hana, who kicks up her legs and wraps her arms around my neck to rest on my shoulder. "Hana, on the other hand… is very prickly."

"No, I'm not!" Hana shouts, directly into my ear.

"Yes, you are, liar. Whining and whining for an hour, 'When are we gooooing? I wanna gooooo…'"

"But that's not fair. Mommy was still getting ready when we were gonna leave, but I was ready a long time before then."

"Yeah, well, you're also four, honey," Emi says, leaning in and kissing her on the forehead. "Complain to me once you have to button up your own shirt, mkay?"

"…But _your_ shirt has barely any buttons on it."

Emi pauses for a second to think of a retort, then gives up and wanders back into the middle of the room, at a loss. "Hisao, where's my hairbrush?"

"Your hairbrush?" I ask. "I dunno, in the bathroom?"

"No, I checked there already. Duh."

"Well, I don't know, then."

"You mean you didn't take it?"

"What would I need your hairbrush for?"

"I don't know, maybe you wanted to improve your hairstyle."

"I have my own brush. And there's nothing wrong with my hairstyle."

"Urgh." She flattens out the towel and folds it over her arm. "If you didn't take it, then where the heck is it?"

"Don't worry about it! Just use mine."

"No. Out of the question."

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's too small. It doesn't cooperate with my hair."

"Then just straighten your hair out and wear it like that. It looks best like that anyway."

"No, I already have a look in mind. Hang on."

She sighs and stalks back down the hallway into the bathroom. I set down Hana and slump back into the couch, resigned to waiting again.

Hana tugs on my pant leg, evidently even less patient than me. "Daddy, I'm hungry."

"You can eat when we get to Grandma's."

"But I'm hungry now."

"Well, that's just too bad, because you're going to have to wait until we get to Grandma's to eat."

"…That's not _fair_."

"Yeah, well, life's not fair, kid." I place a hand on her head, and she pushes it off, pouting at me. I raise an eyebrow. "…Hey, wait a second, Hana, did you take Mommy's hairbrush?"

Her eyes widen in surprise for a second, and she frowns guiltily at me. "…No!"

"You…! -Hey, Emi! Check the toy box!"

"The toy box?" Emi cries out from the other room. "Why would it be in there?"

"Just check it!"

Her footsteps echo down the hall as she stomps into another room. I glare expectantly at Hana, who stares guiltily at the floor the whole time.

"…Wh- yeah, here it is! Thanks!"

I narrow my eyes in mock surprise. "Well, that's funny. We certainly didn't put it there."

Hana cups her hands together, clearly about to crack under the pressure.

"…Did you take it, Hana?" I ask quietly.

"…Yeah," she mumbles.

"Yeah?"

"Sorry."

"…I told you not to take things without asking. That means out of the bathroom, too."

"I know…"

"Don't do it again. I mean it."

"Okay…"

She pouts, her lip quivering a little, and I am altogether too much of a pushover to let it go at that.

"…It's okay if you mess up sometimes, Hana. But please don't lie about it. That's just going to get you into more trouble. Okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you."

And then, almost immediately, Hana is beaming again.

I dread the day she is old enough to figure out how easy I would be to manipulate.

…Or is she there already…? Damn, that's worrying.

"How do I look, Hisao?" Emi asks suddenly, reentering the room.

I stand without looking at her, walking towards the closet near the front door. "Do you want the truth, or do you want to feel good?"

"Hisao, seriously."

I glance over at her briefly, then return to the closet to put my coat on. "You look fine."

" _Hisao_! You barely even looked!"

"What's the big deal? Are you trying to get a date?"

"Well, God knows I can't count on you to have enough energy to last me all night."

I snicker quietly, sorting through the coats as slowly as possible.

"Hisao, turn around and tell me how pretty I am right this instant or I am going right back into the bedroom and picking out a new outfit from scratch."

"Noooo!" Hana screeches.

"Alright, alright, fine!"

Pulling my coat on around my back, I finally turn to face Emi. Satisfied, she throws out her arms dramatically to her sides, posing like a fashion model.

The outfit is, unsurprisingly, is very cute, if a little informal… though that's admittedly not saying much, coming from someone in trousers and a polo shirt. Long blue jeans and a white blouse, along with the usual long socks that cover up her prosthetic ankles. Most eye-catching is her hair, which is done up in twin tails the way she did them when we were in high school.

My first thought is 'punk Alice in Wonderland', but ultimately I try to settle on something less asinine. "Cute. Casual, but not lazy."

"Think so? I was going for something summery."

"It's very summery."

She squints at me suspiciously. "…Hey, you're just saying this to shut me up, aren't you?"

"I'd say it's fifty/fifty."

"…Eh, I can live with that."

I notice something pushing at my leg, and look down to see Hana fishing through the floor of the closet of her own volition. I'm impressed with her initiative for all of about two seconds, before she pulls out her yellow rain boots and drops them down in the center of the living room.

"Nuh-uh, Hana. Shoes, not boots."

"But I like the boots," Hana whines, placing them over her hands like gloves (though it is pretty adorable, admittedly).

"It's not raining. Wear the boots in the rain. Wear the shoes when it's not raining."

"What's wrong with the boots? They're cute," Emi says quietly, elbowing me as she throws the front door open.

"They look ridiculous!"

"She's a little kid! Everyone will just think it's funny and cute. Which it is!"

"They're pretty and yellow!" Hana exclaims, as though her opinion holds any weight in this discussion.

"I can't believe what I have to put up with," I sigh.

Emi snorts at me, leaning on the door frame. "And you call _me_ the grumpy one… if she grows up to hate us, I blame you."

Hana marches up to the door, now confidently donning the boots on her feet. "Mommy likes the boots."

"Mommy likes a lot of things, sweetheart. She doesn't always know what she's talking about. It's not a democracy."

Hana stares dully at me for a few seconds, failing to understand what I'm talking about. I briefly consider explaining the concept of democracy to her, but due to time constraints I just give up and let her wear the rain boots instead. Emi seems quite pleased by this.

Apparently in a rush to avoid me changing my mind, Hana scurries past either of us, forcing Emi to catch up with her as I lock the door to our apartment.

We get out to the car without running into any of our neighbors, and Emi does her best to cram Hana into a booster seat while I adjust the mirrors in the front.

The drive is a bit confusing, mostly since I'm being forced to drive through the city, but regardless I do know the way to Emi's mom's fairly well. As usual, the hardest part of my navigation is trying to keep up with Emi's banter and still not get lost, a feat that gets easier with experience.

The funny thing is, I'm fairly sure that Hana does not even understand most of our humor, but even still… our general amiability keeps her laughing for the majority of the car ride. For just that short period, I feel especially close with both of them- it's something specifically rewarding about parenthood, I think. I almost regret it when I pull up to Meiko's house.

As soon as she is freed from the back seat, Hana attempts to hurry ahead of us, so Emi holds her hand to tether her to us. The three of us walk up the front porch together, and the door swings open almost immediately- before I even have time to ring the doorbell.

"Well, look who's late," Meiko declares, crossing her arms and grinning.

"Yeah, hello to you, too, Mom," says Emi with a vaguely irritated frown.

"Touchy, touchy."

"Yeah, take a wild guess who made us late," I say light-heartedly, stepping inside and kissing Meiko on the cheek. "…It's good to see you, Mom."

"Oh, aren't you sweet? I hope you're taking notes, Emi."

"Oh, the words we use for 'kissing up' these days…" Emi sighs, stepping inside and letting go of Hana's hand. "Take off your boots, hun."

Hana does so as quickly as possible, then scurries away to wrap her arms around Meiko's leg. "Grandma!"

Meiko grins, patting Hana on the head. "Hey there, shrimp. Did you miss me?"

"I missed you forever! I _hate_ waiting!"

"Well, you only have to wait a little longer, okay? Once your parents are gone we can do whatever we want for the whole rest of the night. Sound good?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay, good." She looks up for a moment, gesturing to the hallway. "Go hang out in the other room. We'll be right in, okay?"

"Okay, okay!"

Hana scurries off with undue enthusiasm, and Meiko leans back on the wall, chuckling at her.

"Never going to get used to this 'Grandma' business," she says once Hana is out of earshot. "Geez, I feel old enough as it is."

"Well, sorry to break it to you, but you _are_ her grandmother," Emi says matter-of-factly. "But if you'd rather, we could just pretend you're her kindly old aunt or something."

"You say that like it's a joke, but I could totally pass for your sister if I dressed like it."

"You _so_ could not. Ya geezer."

"Geezer?!"

" _I_ don't think you look a day over thirty, Mom," I interject with a small snicker.

Meiko gives me an appreciative look and then turns to Emi. "Hisao doesn't think I look a day over thirty."

"Hisao is a lying piece of crap, and we both know it." Emi smiles gently, stretching her arms out.

"You could at least let me have my delusions."

"Oh, you'll thank me when you're older."

"You know, somehow I just don't see that happening."

I check my watch again and tug on Emi's sleeve. "Hey, we should probably go see her off…"

"What? See Hana off, you mean?" Meiko frowns with sudden surprise, glancing back to the hallway. "Aren't you guys going to stay for dinner? I was _just_ about to serve it."

Neither Emi or I is sure exactly how to respond to that.

"Oh, Mom…" Emi sighs, biting her lip.

Meiko shrugs. "You know, I have a gigantic pot of rice on the stove, and if someone with Emi's appetite is not around to eat it, I'm going to be eating it out of the fridge for at least the next two weeks."

Emi shoots me a glance, frowning apologetically. "No, it's fine… we can stay long enough for dinner, at least."

I just shrug at her. It's not exactly what we'd planned, but I can think of worse ways to spend dinner than a home cooked meal with family.

"Oh, well, no, don't let me intrude on your guys' plans, if you…"

"No, no, no, you don't get to do that, Mom. If you ask for a favor and someone accepts, you gotta accept it with dignity. You don't get to go back on it so that we have to feel guilty afterwards."

At that, Meiko just laughs and slips off into the hall, waving to get us to follow suit.

Emi takes a step forward, and I walk up behind her and place my hands on her forearms, leaning over her slightly. "So much for date night, huh?"

"I know, I know… but we owe her this one." Emi tilts her head to the side to kiss me, flashing a genuine smile. "I'll make it up to you. Promise."

I let go over her and set off for the kitchen. "I'll hold you to that."

"I know you will!" she calls out, stepping into the kitchen with a flourish. "It smells good, Mom…! What is that?"

"It's just salmon. Cheap stuff, too; they were selling it in bulk at the supermarket." Meiko sets down a stack of plates on the table, scooping rice straight out of the pot. "But sure, I'll take the compliment."

"That sounds good to me," I say with a shrug, taking a seat. "I'd kill to see them selling salmon in bulk."

"I'd kill to see them selling _anything_ in bulk," Emi quips.

I laugh out loud, but stop as soon as I catch a glimpse of Meiko's face.

"…You know, when you make jokes like that, I think you're about to follow it up by asking me for money," she says dryly.

Emi, who has already set to work eating, just laughs again and waves a hand in the air. "No, no, this month we're asking _Hisao's_ parents for money."

Hana picks at her food with her fingers, and Emi leans over to smack her hand away. I make awkward eye contact with Meiko in the meantime, who just raises an eyebrow at me.

"But, seriously… you guys aren't really having problems, are you? Because I'd-"

"No, seriously. We're fine," I say quietly, my discomfort pretty evident.

Emi seems to be actively tuning us out, and soon returns to eating without making any other comments.

"So. How's work, Hisao?" Meiko continues. "They aren't still calling you an intern, are they?"

She catches me before I get the chance to stuff food into my mouth, to my dismay. "…It's temporary."

"It's bullcrap, is what it is," says Emi suddenly. "There's so much favoritism, and nepotism, and all this stupid-"

"-Emi, please."

"Okay, okay, sorry. It just pisses me off." She turns to Meiko, half-smiling. "He's the smartest guy that works there. That's the thing. Like, us aside, _they_ are totally missing out."

"But, it's fine. And we are doing fine. So. Everything is fine."

Emi puffs out her cheeks. "…Yeah. Let's just drop it."

"Fine, fine," Meiko sighs. "I was just making conversation."

I clear my throat and try to focus on eating. I notice Hana picking at a piece of skin on her plate, but for some reason I decide against scolding her- maybe just to preserve the awkward silence.

After a few minutes, Meiko speaks up again, apparently not even registering any tone shift. "So… have you guys thought about preschool at all?"

Hana immediately perks up, and Emi places a hand on her head to relax her.

I roll my eyes at Hana's reaction. "Oh, boy."

"'Oh, boy' what?" Meiko asks, taking a drink of water.

"It has just… been a popular question at home lately," Emi replies. Hana laughs loudly at that.

"And Hana, you want to go?"

Hana holds her cup with both hands, leaning back in an attempt to mimic Meiko's casual demeanor. "Duh. I want to a lot."

"But… we're not sure about it," says Emi.

Meiko narrows her eyes suspiciously. "Not sure? Why not?"

"A lot of reasons."

"We didn't even think about it when your father and I sent you. Seemed like the logical step."

"Well, yeah, and look how _she_ turned out," I interject, earning a punch in the arm.

"Hisao and I just think differently," Emi says firmly, squinting at me disapprovingly.

"So you guys just want to wait to send her to public school?" She drums her fingers on the table for a moment, thinking. "…Is it the tuition?"

"Mom!"

"Yeah, alright," she replies quickly, wincing a little. "I just thought I'd throw it out there."

"It's a lot of things," I say conclusively. "It's a commitment. And it's something else to divvy up our time. We'd have to figure out a new schedule, and with work and everything…"

"It can't be that different from day care."

"… _And_ it's more expensive than day care."

Emi throws up her hands dramatically. "I just don't really get what the point is in the first place. What do they teach you at a place for kids that young? Numbers? I mean, Hisao's already doing that."

"I think it's mostly about getting acclimated to a school environment. Like, getting used to being around other kids and such."

"Seems like a lot of fuss over nothing."

"I guess I understand that."

"Not fair," Hana grumbles, pushing her plate forward.

Emi nudges her with her leg. "C'mon, you've been good all day long. Don't ruin it by getting cranky now."

Groaning, Hana puts her head down on the table, wrapping her arms around herself.

Meiko smiles tiredly at her. "Sorry… maybe I shouldn't have brought it up with Hana around?"

"It's fine. She's already heard our opinion on this plenty of times."

"You worry about us too much," I say with a smile, pushing my nearly-cleaned plate forward on the table.

"Yeah, well, it's my job," Meiko says gently. "…Hisao, are you finished? You haven't said a word about the food. Should I be taking a hint here, or what?"

"No, c'mon; it's delicious, Mom. You can feel free saddle us with the leftovers; we'll take them on the way home tomorrow." I dab my face with a napkin. "I _am_ just about finished, though."

"Me, too. I was thinking we should probably get going." Emi stands, letting out a loud yawn.

"You two," Meiko says accusingly. "Always in such a rush to get away from me."

"Only because you're so melodramatic about everything."

"You're leaving now?" Hana asks suddenly, getting out of her seat.

"Yeah, just about-"

" _-Finally_!"

"-but I- _hey_!"

Everyone laughs at the spontaneity of it, pleasing Hana immensely.

I pat her on the head as sweetly as possible, making my way over to the counter to set my plate down. "You're supposed to wait until we're out of the room to say that kind of thing, sweetheart."

She blows a raspberry at me, then slumps stubbornly to the ground.

"Do you want us to stick around and help clean up, Mom?" Emi chirps, meeting me at the counter.

"No, I got it. Thanks for offering, though."

"Okay." She steps off the counter, strolling over towards Hana. "Then… bedtime at 7:30. No TV after 7. No sweets after 6:30."

"Got it."

"So, if you wanna be the cool… uh, relative… make sure you don't listen to any of those."

"Got it," Meiko laughs.

"Okay. We're gonna skedaddle." She bends over to be face-to-face with Hana. "Gimme a kiss."

Hana does so, albeit somewhat grumpily.

I move towards the door, glancing back towards Meiko. "Thank you for dinner. And babysitting. And being, y'know, just generally wonderful."

"You're welcome, you're welcome, and… you're welcome, of course," Meiko says proudly, eyes closed.

"Good night, Hana! Love you!"

"Night, Daddy," Hana says mechanically, turning and waving.

I slip out into the entrance and open the front door, and behind me I hear Emi cry out, "Love you, Mom!" then scurry out into the hall. She's already slipped out through the front door before I even have a chance to, speedy as always.

The heavy front door slams with an air of finality. With the kid now fully accounted for, I allow myself a deep breath of relief, which Emi giggles at.

"And now… the night is ours," I declare with a broad hand gesture.

"As soon as you get your slow ass into the car."

"Yeah, yeah…"

I stalk down the front walk, and Emi rushes ahead of me only to hang impatiently at the passenger seat door while she waits for me to unlock it. Naturally, I make my most theatrical effort to take as long as possible doing this.

"Do you know the way? Do you want me to pull it up on my phone?"

"That would be helpful, thanks."

She fiddles with her phone as I start the car, affixing it to the dashboard for me to look at. "Sooo…"

"So?"

"So. That went pretty well."

"I think so. Hana loves spending time with your mom."

"Yeah." She raps her fingers along her upper leg, thinking. "…Thanks, by the way."

"Hm? For what?"

"For how you've been acting with her. My mom. I think it's really sweet."

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about."

She takes a breath. "Well, for starters, you called her 'Mom'."

"Well, she _is_ my mom."

"In-law. And you didn't even say 'Mother', or anything. You said 'Mom'." She snickers at me. "Don't even _pretend_ like you don't know you were doing it, Hisao. You know it's important to me. You're not getting your good deeds past the radar that easily."

"Well, I'll have to stop doing them, then. Wouldn't want you catching on."

"You're an ass."

We're quiet for a minute or two. Emi adjusts the phone, watching the route trail along as we get closer and closer to Yamaku. She seems… almost a little forlorn about something.

"You looking forward to this?" she asks quietly.

"Hm… I'm less enthusiastic now that it's here, I guess."

"Ehh. I know what you mean."

"All we have to do is just show up, flash a smile, socialize for a couple hours and then get out, yeah?"

"Yeah, totally. No reason to drag it out."

"But your mom's got Hana for the whole night."

"Mhm. And?"

"Well, maybe we just skip out early. Get a bottle of wine. Curl up on the couch, pull up a movie…"

"Date night."

"No reason it has to be spoiled now."

"That sounds nice." She hesitates for a second. "Although. I don't wanna leave _too_ early."

"Why not? Is there something you wanted to do…?"

I glance over at her, and she looks away, puffing out her cheeks a bit. "Okay, I'm gonna say something-"

"-What else is new-?"

"-and I need you to be mentally prepared for it."

"Mentally prepared?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, hold on. You can't just say something like that and expect me to go along with it. It's going to have to depend."

"Depend on what?"

"Well. Did you lose your job?"

"No-"

"Are you pregnant?"

"-no-"

"Cancer? You have two months to live?"

"-Hisao!"

"-Then… yes, I'm prepared. Say your piece."

"Fine." She takes a breath, puffing out her cheeks a little. "…It's about Rin."

"…Uh…"

"Yeah. I know."

"…Are you _sure_ it's not cancer?"

"Hisao. Don't be a dick."

"Sorry, sorry… but… I mean, she's not actually _going_ to this, is she?!"

"Yeah, actually, I'm pretty sure she is, as a matter of fact. And… I think she's in kind of a bad place right now."

"Rin's always in kind of a bad place."

"No, I mean, not, like, a _Rin_ place. A _bad_ place. For real."

"What makes you say that?"

"It's the impression I got the last time I talked to her. When she told me she was going to this."

"How long ago was that?"

"I dunno. A few months ago. She doesn't use her phone and doesn't even have a computer, so basically the only way to see what's going on with her is to meet in person. And she hates to do that."

"I don't get why."

"Neither do I. But that's not really the point."

"What's up with her?"

"Work stuff. It's these guys from an art studio she connected with after doing the commissions, or whatever. They're like, a bunch of pretentious artsy douchebags."

"Okay, but what about them? Rin just doesn't like them?"

"They're like, all over her for work."

"That sounds like a good thing to me."

"I know, I know, but you know how she is. She doesn't like the pressure or something." She shrugs, thinking on it. "They're also, like, really aggressive about making sure she stays in good condition. They've got people coming in and checking on her all the time, like she has a babysitter."

"Oh, that poor girl… she must be miserable."

"Exactly." She sighs guiltily. "Look, we don't have to spend the _whole_ night with her. I just want to see if we can talk to her for a little bit; maybe make some headway. I wanna be a good friend. So I might want to… you know. Hang around for a while, if we need to."

"Yeah. Of course."

"I'll still make it up to you."

"I know."

She sighs loudly, relaxing into her seat. "Hey, Hisao."

"Yeah?"

"…Thanks for putting up with my bullshit."

"I'm used to it," I laugh.

"I know. That's why I'm thanking you, dummy."

Leaning over the console with half her body, Emi loops her arm around mine, dragging my hand down the steering wheel a little.

"Yeah, I don't think that's completely safe."

"Oh, would you shut up?"

I laugh at her goofiness, but don't have the heart to push her off of me. We end up spending the majority of the car ride like this, which is… well, not the worst thing in the world.

Yamaku is farther- and much more out of the way- than I remember. If not for the open navigation on Emi's phone, I almost certainly would have gotten lost on the way up. Driving in the city is a hassle enough, and since night falls midway through the drive, it only gets more complicated as it goes on. I can't even begin to imagine how the school's staff are able to make this drive every day.

It's past sundown when I pull up to the old gates, which still look exactly the way I remember them. There doesn't seem to be a soul outside, but the parking lot is crowded nonetheless, so we are at least reassured that we didn't get the date wrong.

We are at a loss for where to go at first, but Emi spots a couple of signs plastered on the wall that direct us towards the building that contains the cafeteria on the other side of campus. And as we're in no particular rush, we take our sweet time walking there.

I'm taken aback by how comfortable and clean the atmosphere is. I wonder if the campus was always as nice as it seems to me right now.

"Man, this place sure is pretty at night," I say absentmindedly.

"You said it. We were lucky kids."

"No kidding."

"And _you_ only went here for one year."

Following the signs, I follow Emi into the building, the sounds of everyone's conversations growing the nearer we get to the cafeteria.

"Feeling sentimental already?" she asks teasingly.

"Maybe just a little- whoa, holy hell!" I force open the cafeteria doors and hesitate for a moment, taken aback by the sheer number of people packed inside. "I didn't even know there were this many people _in_ our class!"

"Well, it's a big occasion here! I guess a lot of people felt the need to show up."

I smile awkwardly at the couple nearest the door that noticed us come in, then check my watch in an effort to look busy. "Okay, step one… find Rin?"

"Nah, Rin'll turn up. Step one… is getting some social lubricant."

"Like _you_ need it."

"I don't _need_ it. I want it. That's plenty reason enough."

"Fine, but don't go overboard. If you get drunk I'm going to have to spend the rest of the night babysitting you."

"Oh, relax, relax! I'll just have one drink." She pouts and trails slowly towards the bar, tugging on my arm to get my attention. "I'm just gonna run over real quick. Do you want something?"

"I'm driving."

"You can have _one_ drink, Hisao. Geez."

"Cola, then."

"Pft. Wuss." She straightens up, trying to see over the crowd. "I'll be right back. Go see if you can find someone we know. I'll catch up with you!"

With a dismissive wave, she scurries off across the room towards the bar, leaving me stranded near the entrance of the room. I tug on my collar and scan the room, doing my best to recall people's names- with little success. Eventually I lock eyes with a shapely brown-haired woman across the room a ways… and am about to turn away when she does a double-take and calls out to me.

"No _way_! Hicchan?!"

"Hicch-? Oh, geez…"

She sticks her tongue out, then shuffles past some people to approach me, dragging the slightly stocky woman she had been chit-chatting with alongside her.

"Hicchan, that's you, isn't it?!" she nearly shouts, making me flinch.

I scratch the back of my head uncomfortably, frantically studying her face. "Er- _Hisao_ , yeah… I…"

"You… you don't recognize me, do you?" She shuts her eyes and grins, crossing her arms. "That's okay; it's been a really long time, after all! Maybe if I dyed my hair pink you would have an easier time…?"

I blink, taking another look at her face.

…Oh, shit.

"Hang on- Misha?!"

"Wahaha! That's me! It's so good to see you again!"

"I'm really sorry; I just wasn't prepared for you to look so- er-"

"-It's fine, it's fine! Don't worry about it! We never even knew each other before I started wearing those pink hair drills, did we?" Smiling exuberantly, she elbows the woman standing next to her, whom I had barely taken notice of up until now. "Anyway, this is my girlfriend, Sayumi. Or… Sayumi-chan, you know, if you prefer!"

The shorter woman, exasperated, runs a hand through her own brown hair, which is styled almost exactly like Misha's. "Yeah… or just Sayumi. Just Sayumi would actually be completely fine."

Misha's _girlfriend_? Well… that's a new one.

Feeling a little bombarded by sudden revelations, I bow fractionally to Sayumi, trying not to look as disoriented as I feel. "O- oh! Er, of course! Uh. I- It's a pleasure to meet you. _Sayumi_."

"Same. _Hisao_." Sayumi flashes an amused grin, turning to Misha. "Look at him; he's so embarrassed! Like a lost puppy."

"Yeah… he's always kind of had that look, though!"

I shoot Misha a glare. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing! Don't worry about it!" Misha turns to Sayumi, speaking only marginally more quietly. "He definitely did, though!"

I'm not entirely sure how to respond to that, but regardless I don't have much time to deliberate on it before someone taps me on the shoulder and shoves a glass of soda into my arms.

"Hey, you made a friend!" Emi declares cheerfully, shoving her way into the group. "Hiya!"

"Hi, hi!" Misha leans on Sayumi, the same grin still plastered to her face. "You didn't tell us you brought a date, Hicchan!"

"We're married, actually," Emi says firmly, appraising the two of them. "And you are?"

"This is Misha and Sayumi," I say, pointing. "And yes, you guys, this is my wife, Emi. Funny, I would have thought you'd remember her from Yamaku, Misha."

Misha looks flustered for a fraction of a second, then shakes her head enthusiastically. "No, no, of course I do! She's the reason you wouldn't spend any time with the Student Council! She even looks just the same as she did back then!" She thrusts a finger in the air questioningly. "So, you guys ended up getting married, huh?"

She seems bizarrely excited by the prospect, which takes me completely off-guard.

"Straight outta uni!" Emi chirps, a little proud. "Well, almost."

"What's 'almost?'" Sayumi asks suspiciously, looking back and forth between Emi and me.

Emi (quite conveniently) decides to take a drink at this moment, so I speak up instead. "Well. The baby sped things up a little."

Misha nearly jumps with shock. " _What_?Baby?!"

"Er. Yeah."

"You mean to tell me there is a miniature Hicchan walking the Earth right this minute, and I didn't hear about it until _just now_?!"

"…Well, she's a girl, so she's not really a-"

"Disgraceful! _Disgraceful_ , Hicchan!"

Sayumi presses a hand into her forehead, clearly embarrassed. "Shii-chan, please, do you have to make such a-?"

"-Pictures! Now!" Misha interrupts, putting her hands expectantly on her hips.

"Ooh, yes, ma'am! You shouldn't have given me an excuse!" Emi says excitedly, taking her drink in her left hand and pulling out her phone. "Trust me, Hisao is rolling his eyes internally right now."

Misha tilts her head, eyeing me suspiciously, and I shrug to avert suspicion… though Emi is completely right, of course. After a moment, Emi pulls up an album on her phone and the two of them start sifting through it, making chit-chat about Hana. Sayumi, on the other hand- not to anyone's surprise- does not seem to care about my daughter at all.

Feeling a little alienated, I stick my hands in my pockets, only to catch Sayumi doing the exact same thing. She smiles uncomfortably at me, clearly a little embarrassed by Misha's loudness. How you could come to date Misha and not develop a complete tolerance for that is beyond me.

"So… come here often?" I say jokingly, tilting my head towards the ceiling.

"First time, actually," Sayumi chuckles.

"Ah."

"Yeeeup." She shrugs, flashing a brief smile. "It's, uh, a really nice school."

"I agree."

"You and your wife both went here?"

"Uh huh."

"That's nice. So… you and Misha were friends back then?"

"Yeah, we were in the same class, so… you know."

"Yeah. I know."

"Er." I glance back at Emi and Misha, who are apparently completely absorbed in each other. "How'd you guys meet? You and Misha, I mean."

"Online," she says quietly. "It was a couple years ago. I was going back to school at the time. It's always kind of hard to get into a serious relationship when you've got to balance that, but, eh… I dunno. We clicked, I guess."

"That's nice. You two do seem… fairly different."

"In some ways, but- well, I don't know. I think I was going through kind of a hard time when we met, but she helped me out of it. We could all use a little more optimism, you know? And Misha's usually got it in spades, so…"

"Yeah, it's definitely important, when you… er…"

I glance upward momentarily to catch Misha glaring at the two of us from over Emi's phone. "You two were talking about me!"

"Uh, yeah. I'm sorry?" I say, nodding slowly.

She puts on a lousy mock-frustrated face, but cracks up almost immediately. "Haha, it's okay, Hicchan! As long as you weren't saying anything bad…!"

"We would never! …Not while you're in earshot, anyway."

Emi laughs out loud, but Misha just sticks her tongue out and steps away, taking another look around the room.

"Hana is adorable! You must be very proud, Hicchan!"

"Thanks."

"This is why reunions are so much fun! I love seeing what everyone's gotten up to. It's been so long…"

"Speaking of which, I was wondering…"

"Hm?"

"Where is Shizune? I'm surprised that you two aren't-"

"What, attached at the hip?" Misha interrupts, crossing her arms and pouting. "We're different people, you know, Hicchan!"

I'm slightly taken aback by her defensiveness, and take a few moments to figure out exactly what to say. "Well, yeah, I know, but I just would have expected you to be hanging out together, considering how good of friends you were back then."

Sayumi sighs, obviously a bit louder than she meant to, but Misha ignores it.

"Yes, well, things can change a lot in ten years, you know!" she proclaims, more quiet and serious than before. "Actually, Shizune and I have not really talked in a while…"

"Oh. Sorry to bring it up, then."

Judging from hers and Sayumi's expressions, I get the feeling this is a sensitive subject for some reason. I have no idea why, of course, but it definitely seems out of line to ask.

Misha, catching on to my own confusion, adjusts her expression back to a broad smile. "No, no, don't worry about it, Hicchan! I haven't seen her, but I am pretty sure Shizune _is_ around here somewhere, if you wanted to say hello."

"Okay. Thanks. I'll keep an eye out, I guess."

"Hey, I have a question, too, if I can ask," Emi says suddenly, poking me not-so-subtly in the arm. "Do you guys know Rin Tezuka?"

Sayumi's expression goes blank, but Misha closes her eyes and nods her head knowingly.

"She's here!" Misha exclaims, unsurprised by the question. "Are you guys her friends, or her fans?"

Emi frowns and puts a finger to her chin. "Both, I guess?"

"Well, she and her posse have been camped out at a table over in the corner." Misha steps on her tiptoes and points over to the far end of the room. "If you want to say hi, you should make yourselves known! She's pretty popular…!"

"Ohhhh… kay," Emi sighs, heart sinking a little. "Thanks."

"No problem!" Misha says loudly, grinning again. "Does that mean you guys are still making the rounds, then?"

"Yeah," I admit with a shrug. "Actually, we got here almost immediately before meeting up with you guys."

"Well, don't let us stop you from having fun!"

"You're not." I finish my soda and clutch my glass in both hands, watching Emi uncertainly. "Trust me… you're not."

Emi snatches my glass out of my hands, growling jokingly. "That's enough out of you."

"Whatever."

Misha giggles loudly enough to draw strange looks from a few others, and Sayumi covers her face with embarrassment.

"Well, I guess this is good-bye," Misha says with a small pout. "Then… it was fun catching up, you guys!"

"Have a good night, Misha." I cock my head towards Sayumi, trying to look sympathetic. " _Sayumi_."

She smiles briefly, raising one hand. "Emi. _Hisao_."

"See ya!" Emi calls out, already setting off towards the opposite end of the room.

After a brief pause to collect myself, I catch up with her and snatch the two empty glasses from her hands. She sticks her tongue out at me and pushes onwards, so I rush to the bar to return them and follow her as quickly as possible.

The table Misha pointed out to us is surrounded by people whose dress gets more and more expensive the closer the crowd gets to the center. Emi wrenches herself into the crowd with little tact, and people part to make way for us only reluctantly.

As soon as they do, I immediately spot Rin, sitting on the table right in the center of the action and sticking out like a sore thumb. She's dressed up in corduroy pants that are clearly too long for her and a pale green turtleneck with knotted sleeves, giving off a homeless vibe even when you ignore the man in the tuxedo talking into her ear, and the crowd of suits surrounding them. She spots me and Emi quickly, but strangely does not really react at all.

Dragging me behind her by the hand, Emi hurries up to the table where Rin is sitting, and the tuxedo-wearing man takes a step backward, affronted.

"Rin!" Emi nearly shouts.

Rin stares at her for a moment. "…Emi."

"Uh." Emi lets go of my hand, deflated. "Hi!"

"…Hi."

"…How are you?"

"…Good."

"Great! What are you up to?"

"This guy was talking to me." Rin cranes her neck towards the tuxedo-wearing man, who shrugs when everyone looks at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt…" Emi says, despite the fact that she obviously did.

"Not a problem. You're clearly old friends; who would I be to get in the way of that?" the man says coolly, adjusting his thin glasses. "My name's Kenji Setou. You?"

"Nakai. -Emi and Hisao."

She turns to me, and I blink, still trying to place the man in front of me as Kenji Setou… of all people. Emi elbows me rather forcefully in the gut, and I snap out of it.

"Kenji! Hi…!" I say slowly.

He straightens his glasses again and leans in to look more closely at me, though surprisingly still keeping a fairly appropriate distance. "Good to meet you, Hisao. …And Emi, too, of course."

"Kenji, c'mon. It's Hisao Nakai. From senior year. We lived right next to each other…?"

He rubs his hands together eerily, taking in this information with a great deal of thought. After a few seconds of deliberation, he smiles uncertainly. "Yeah! Yeah. Hisao. How could I forget?"

I watch him suspiciously, not completely sure whether or not he is serious. He says he remembers me, but judging from his expression, it's hard to believe that. I think he actually managed to completely forget who I am, despite the fact that I probably spoke to him more than any other student at Yamaku. For some reason, I'm a little hurt by that, though I'm not really sure why I care one way or the other.

Emi giggles madly. "Wow. What a touching reunion."

Kenji stares at me for a few more moments. The smell of his cologne is almost overpowering. I give him a strange look, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"What are you doing here?" Rin asks suddenly, in the middle of a shameless yawn.

Everyone directs their attention towards her, hesitant to respond. Emi taps her fingers together uncertainly. "Um, here, as in…?"

"Here." Rin gestures towards the floor with a curt shrug.

Emi frowns confusedly. "Hisao and I thought we'd see what you were up to."

"Oh." She blinks, her head creaking towards me. "How is your heart?"

I give her a look, taken completely off-guard. Sometimes I think she just says things to have that effect on people.

"Uh… I'm managing," I say slowly.

"Hm."

I exchange glances with Emi, who shrugs helplessly. This seems to be the extent of her plan as far as 'be good friends to Rin' is concerned.

Rin herself, meanwhile, seems disinterested in even having us here. I guess I don't know what I expected.

"So… Rin…" Emi says slowly. "…Did you come here with that guy you talked about?"

"I don't know. It depends on what guy I talked about." In one very unladylike gesture, she swings her leg in the air and points with her foot past Emi's head, forcing her to duck out of the way. "I came with that guy over there."

There are a few guys in the direction she's pointing, all facing away from us. As far as I can tell, Rin is talking about the somewhat old-looking, frizzy-haired man standing closest to us, though that's really just a guess.

"That's Mr. Noguchi. He works with her for an art studio," Kenji explains, clasping his hands together. "I've actually helped to sponsor that studio in the past. I'm a big fan of Miss Tezuka's work…"

Emi turns back to him with an awkward smile, obviously wishing he would go away. "Is that so?"

Kenji doesn't get the hint- or doesn't care. "Yeah, yeah, it's like I was just saying before you arrived. I actually have one of her-" –he turns to Rin suddenly- "-er, one of _your_ original works hanging above my dresser. _The_ _Cityscape at Dawn_."

Rin just stares blankly at him, much to his dismay. After a few moments without a response, he turns back to us, gesturing wildly with his hands. "It's a beautiful painting. A bleak sort of thing- a city stretching out on one side of a river, and a thatched-roof farmhouse on the other, with disfigured bodies in the river. At dawn… y'know, if you couldn't guess…"

He tugs on his collar, getting very little response from anyone.

Emi wrings her hands together, frowning sympathetically. "Sorry, but I don't think I've seen that one…"

"Yes, well." Kenji clears his throat, refusing to break his tangent. "It struck a chord with me. It was Mr. Noguchi that sold me on it, really. I see it as sort of a depiction of that contemporary divide between progressivism and traditionalism. The way our society is stuck in the middle of that pull in two directions, and the impossibility of that position. You know?"

Somehow, I think I am more bewildered by him now than I ever was in the past. I wonder how obvious that is. He doesn't seem to be picking up on it at all, thankfully.

He looks to us for some kind of reaction, so Emi smiles encouragingly, which he seems to consider a victory. "My company was really just coming into its own, economically speaking, when I first saw it, so that concept really struck me." Smiling deferentially, he turns back to Rin again. "Wouldn't you say that was your overall inspiration, when you painted it?"

Rin blinks absentmindedly, tuning him out. "…More or less."

"So glad to hear that. So glad." He clasps his hands together. "I think art is so important now, let me tell you. Print journalism is dead, we're synthesizing medicines like candy, our manual labor is all done by robots, but the one thing that will never be replaced is good, earnest, creative inspiration."

"Well, that's comforting," I say somewhat sarcastically, though he doesn't pick up on it.

"Yeah, well, I'd like to think so." He straightens his glasses, shaking his head slightly. "But… that's enough talking about me, yeah? How about you two? What's your favorite work of Miss Tezuka's?"

Rin watches Kenji talk with some irritation. Emi sucks in her breath, trying not to let it bother her. "Oh, we don't really… I mean, we don't collect art or anything."

"Oh." He pauses, his demeanor changed a little. "I just would have thought, considering the way you approached her…"

"Art is just… a little bit too rich of a hobby for our blood, I guess," I interject, earning a distraught glare from Emi.

"I see." He scratches his chin, staring at me somewhat judgmentally. "So… what do you do, exactly?"

"I, uh." I clear my throat quietly. "I'm a… consultant."

He nods slowly. "That's… nice. What do you consult on?"

"There's… well…"

"-It's this pharmaceutical startup," Emi interrupts quickly, rushing through the conversation. "They're focusing on, uh. Hisao-?"

"-Biotech stuff. It's basically just chemistry work, really. That's what I… _consult_ on. For the most part."

He glances suspiciously between the two of us, clasping his hands together. "I- uh, I see. Sounds… complicated."

"I think you'd be surprised."

"Er. Alright then. Maybe I would."

He grimaces somewhat insultingly. I have no idea how to respond.

The four of us stand in relative silence for a few moments. Rin yawns again, hunched over as though she wants to lie down on the table.

…Actually, knowing Rin, that is probably exactly what she wants.

After a minute, Kenji jumps to attention, suddenly smiling again. "Ah, Mr. Noguchi! These are the Nakais, old friends of Miss Tezuka's."

"I'm so sorry," says a fairly high-pitched male voice. I turn to see that it is indeed the frizzy-haired man that Rin pointed out earlier, smiling apologetically. "I was just making some arrangements… you two know Rin?"

"Mhm," Emi says quietly, watching carefully as Noguchi wedges himself between us and Rin.

"I thought you 'didn't really know anyone' from Yamaku, Rin," he says expectantly.

Rin looks at the floor, frowning slightly. "Sorry. There are some people, I guess."

"Forgive me," Noguchi says with a wave of his hand, turning back to Emi and me. "This whole venture has been a little bit too formal, I think. I'm happy to meet friends of Rin's. My name is Takeo Noguchi. I'm Rin's associate."

"So we've heard," Emi says with exhaustion. "I'm Emi. This is Hisao."

I smile dully at him. "Hi."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Noguchi says, taking a step to the side to position himself next to Kenji. "Rin, I would have thought you would have been more enthusiastic to come out if you had friends waiting to meet up with you."

"Sorry," Rin says quietly.

"You don't- _oh_ , you don't have to apologize, Rin…" he chuckles, tugging at the cuffs of his sleeves.

"Oh."

"Oh- hm."

Noguchi wipes sweat off the back of his neck, smiling off-puttingly at us. Emi moves a bit closer to me and takes my hand, visibly concerned. I'm not sure exactly what the proper etiquette would be in order to comfort her right now, so I just hold her hand tightly. It seems to work. I think.

"So what exactly do you mean when you say you're Rin's associate?" Emi asks, breaking the awkward silence.

"I work closely with distributors that are interested in publishing her art. So we work together in very close capacity. You know how these things go."

"And he helps me put on shirts and stuff," Rin adds drearily.

"Oh!" Emi scratches her head, smiling nervously. "Oh. That's, uh… hm."

"You understand the challenges of living with… Rin's kind of disability," Noguchi says cautiously. "It's so important to the artistic community that she is able to pursue her passions without being held back by such… paltry inconveniences."

"It's really cool, to have such a singular commitment to your craft. Just remarkable," Kenji says loudly, making a sweeping gesture with his hands.

"Absolutely." Noguchi holds his hand out to gesture towards Rin, who narrows her eyes at him. "Rin is a treasure to us. A beautiful mind is not something for our society to take lightly."

Rin's flagrant apathy towards this man is almost hilarious, but I restrain myself from laughing in the interest of politeness. They shower her with praise, and where anyone else would blush or protest she just squints like they're speaking another language.

Not long after Noguchi's declaration, another suit-and-tie clad man makes his way towards us and whispers something into Kenji's ear, prompting Kenji to nod ferociously and slick his hair back with his hand.

"Well, that's my cue," Kenji mutters quickly. "Wish me luck."

"On what?" I ask.

"Oh, you didn't hear? They asked me to give a small speech." He shrugs indifferently. "It'll be quick and painless, promise. Just a little bit of crowd-pandering. Nothing big."

He slips off into the crowd with the other man, and the lights start to dim, leaving me confused. "A speech?"

"Hm, I'm looking forward to it," Noguchi says, slumping into the chair nearest Rin, who watches him carefully.

"Well, I guess I'm interested to hear what he's got to say, at lea-"

I'm cut off by a loud screech of microphone feedback, making me cringe a little. Emi leans on me and points over my shoulder, turning me all the way around and directing my attention towards an oily-looking man in a sweater vest near the other end of the room. He fidgets with a microphone in his hands, looking very uncomfortable. "Uh, hi- uh, hello everyone… good evening."

He takes an awkward pause, as though he is genuinely waiting for a response. I can hear Emi groan quietly from behind me.

"…Er, so, thanks for coming out," he continues. "I didn't teach when you all went here ten years back, so… I know you all probably don't much care to hear from me, heh… heh heh…"

…Well, he's certainly not wrong. I try to glance over people's heads to find Kenji.

The sweater vest man wipes sweat off of his forehead and adjusts the microphone.

"Uh, s-so, anyway, we just wanted to take the opportunity to reflect on things, uh, a little bit. I- uh, we got in contact with one of the graduates from your year, and I know he has a speech prepared; just a little something to, eh… to do that. So I don't want to hold that up any longer. Without further ado, um… Kenji Setou, everybody. I'm sure many of you remember him… so…"

Out of nowhere, like an apparition, Kenji appears behind him, his white tuxedo standing out next to the larger man's ragged-looking clothes. Kenji grabs the microphone gracefully from him, giving a surprisingly charming smile.

"Thanks, thanks; alright, take a seat, buddy," Kenji laughs, patting the man on the back and moving further from the door. "So, yeah, hi, everyone. I'm Kenji; you may remember me, you may not. Either way, welcome back to Yamaku. I'd say you all look well, but according to my optometrist I think that would probably just be a 50/50 guess."

Most of the room chuckles at his joke. I'm kind of impressed.

"I know what you're all thinking," Kenji declares with a dismissive hand wave. "What's with this asshole in the suit? Why are we trapped here listening to this? Nobody came here for a lecture, right? We graduated so we could be done with them." He shakes his head dramatically, chuckling to himself. "Well, this is only going to take a couple of minutes; I know we're all still catching up. I just want to make a little statement, maybe create a little perspective. Because this is about more than just catching up, isn't it? This isn't just some party. And God knows we don't need an excuse to get drunk with our friends."

He holds out his hand, and the other man passes him a bottle of water, which he takes a long drink from. "No, no, there's _meaning_ behind this, right?! This _represents_ something. Something more than, 'look, we're all still around.' We didn't just graduate from high school, we graduated from _Yamaku_. And that means something." He takes another drink. "Alright, alright, do me a favor. I want you to picture, just for a second, your first day at Yamaku. It's something I'm sure everyone can remember, right? Does an image strike you? There was- _is_ \- an atmosphere here, a distinct one. No matter what your background is, no matter how you ended up here, there is a reaction that I'm sure we can all share. Canes, and dark glasses, and bandages, and prosthetics. It's a strange feeling to become a part of a place like that. Even if you yourself are 'healthy', so to speak, you became _enculturated_. It's the structure of this place. It's how engrossed you felt in everyone's health, and in trying to pretend to be 'normal'. For some, it was new, and for some, I'm sure it had followed you your whole life. But it was there, right?"

He shrugs and takes another sip of water.

"Seriously, this is the anti-feminist guy?!" Emi asks in a hushed whisper.

I turn to her and shrug. "Trust me; he's definitely not the same person he was back then."

"Weird."

I notice a few people glaring at us, so I elbow her and we both shut up.

"Now think on your first week," Kenji continues loudly. "Your first month. The people you met. People that you're probably surrounded by right now!" He does a broad gesture with his arms. "How long did you spend thinking about all that other nonsense before you had to start stressing out about a test, or getting to club meetings, or making friends? Think about how quickly it turned normal for you. You may have had to go to the nurse every day. You may have had to take three dozen pills before every meal. Who knows? But that's got nothing to do with your memories of this place, or of your education, does it? You _did_ make those friends, you _did_ take those tests, and at the end of the day, you got along fine. And here we are, ten years later, and, well, damn, there's canes and dark glasses and bandages and prosthetics here, too, but that's got nothing to do with it, does it? That's not why we all came tonight."

He shakes his head a little neurotically and hands the water back, gripping the microphone with both hands. "Okay, where am I going with this…? Listen. They called me up and asked me to give a full-fledged speech. They wanted me to talk about my organization and the charities it gives to. Rattle off names, do some gloating. They wanted me to talk about the kids I'm giving a second chance, because those charities are paying their tuition here. But I thought that would miss the point. 'Cause, shit, who am I giving a second chance? Who is Yamaku giving a second chance, for that matter? That's not what this reunion is about. Not second chances. It's not about making up for our 'problems'. Playing catch-up. It's about… adapting."

He sighs loudly into the microphone, leaning back on an unoccupied table. Dramatically removing his glasses, he makes a serious face as though to seem down-to-Earth. "I don't want people to look at my achievements and say, 'Wow, look at how Kenji overcame the odds. Look at how much a Yamaku kid was able to accomplish.' No, that's the wrong mindset altogether. Because, say what you will about what I've done with my life… the real accomplishment is one that everyone here has done. I _adapted_. I'm a part of the world. A regular guy. It's not because I got a second chance, and it's not because I played catch-up. It's just because… I _adapted_. And everyone here has done that. That's what we should be commemorating tonight. Commemorate all the little things in your life you have to be proud of. The _normal_ things. Your husband or wife. Your kids. Your career. That's the point of this. Be glad that Yamaku gave you the space to do it, but don't give anyone credit for what you've done. Because you adapted, too. _That_ is the point of this. And the only thing I want to do is make sure everyone here realizes that."

He puts his glasses back on and takes a dramatic pause, to rousing applause. He smiles charmingly, standing and waltzing back to the center of the room.

It really is a nice sentiment. I already know I have a lot to be proud of, but… it's nice to be reminded, I guess.

Emi presses herself against my back, sighing practically into my ear. Still facing away from her, I let my arm fall to my side to allow me to hold her hand. She seems a little disheartened- but I think it's because she's still concerned about Rin, which actually makes it kind of endearing.

Kenji throws up his hands guiltily at the applause, chuckling to himself. "Okay, okay, that's my cue, right? Yeah, my fault for saying 'a couple minutes'. Fine, fine, I'll just say this. It's a beautiful night out, so if you want to get some air, the grounds are completely open for the rest of the evening. High elevation here, so it's good for your lungs. And if you're worried about students… well, most of the kids are gone for the summer, but if you see one, just give 'em a dirty look and tell 'em it'll be their turn next decade." He raises an arm to gesture toward the bar. "Enjoy the open bar; that's totally on me. Be nice to the poor kid, he's been in that suit for four hours now. Aaaand… that's all. Have a good night, everybody!"

The lights flicker back on over the rest of the room as the sweater-vest-wearing man takes the microphone back from Kenji, tapping on the mic and letting it screech through the speakers again. After a few minutes of getting back to normal, everyone gathers up again and gets back to fraternizing, though I notice a handful of couples heading out the double doors, presumably at Kenji's recommendation to walk around the campus.

"Hm. He's actually a competent speaker, that one," Noguchi says gruffly.

"No kidding. Where did _that_ come from?" I ask, failing to filter myself. I get no response, so thankfully I think Noguchi was tuning me out anyway. I turn to face him, forcing Emi to shuffle out of the way, but something else immediately catches my eye.

He looks at me inquisitively… perhaps a little suspiciously.

"Hey. So. Uh." I point to the table. "Where's Rin?"

Noguchi laughs for a second as he turns his head to the side, but freezes as soon as he notices the empty table behind him. "Rin… _oh_ , that girl is going to be the death of me…"

"She must have slipped out during the speech," Emi says quietly. "Rin, Rin, Rin… I guess we should probably go looking for her, then…"

"No, I'll go," Noguchi declares, hurriedly getting out of his seat. "She's my responsibility, I'll-"

"No, she's not," Emi says dismissively, turning away from him. "Don't worry about it. Hisao and I will go. You are already a part of this crowd; it would be more convenient this way, don't you think?"

His face hardens somewhat, but Emi has already taken off before he can respond. Trying not to lose track of her, I lift a hand apologetically for only a split second before chasing after her.

"Emi! Where are you going?" I call out, almost having to run to catch up with her.

Emi balls up her fists with minor irritation. "Outside. Not like she's still hanging out in here making small talk with people."

"How far do you think she went?"

"Dunno. I really just want to get away from that Noguchi guy. He totally wigs me out."

"Yeah, I… know what you mean."

Pushing past swathes of guests (whom I should probably be able to recognize better than I can), I follow Emi straight through the entrance and out onto the main grounds of the campus. At this point, it's so dark that I'm worried I will lose Emi too if I let her get too far away from me.

"Can you slow down? Where are you even going?"

She skids to a stop and lets out a dramatic sigh, turning to look at me. "I don't know. I was kind of hoping we would just find her wandering around all lost in the middle of the grounds."

"I guess that's not an unreasonable thing to expect."

After a second of glancing around to get her bearings, she starts off in another direction, albeit slowly enough for me to walk alongside her this time.

"She's really freaking me out," she says anxiously. "These guys are totally taking advantage of her."

"Try to relax, okay? There's only so much we can do."

She stretches her arms out behind her head, groaning. "I know. It's just frustrating. I feel like if she would just stop being so resigned and take some initiative, this wouldn't even be a problem…"

"Are you okay? This seems like it's really weighing on you."

"It's just a lot to think about." She bites her lip. "Let's just not talk about it anymore."

The clamoring from inside the cafeteria is extremely distant now, making it feel pretty isolated as we walk around together even despite the other scattered people walking around. Emi and I spend the better part of twenty minutes just wandering around the campus, taking in the night air. It actually might be kind of romantic if she wasn't so obviously stressed out the whole time.

Eventually, after seeing the same collection of benches and trees for the third time, I grab her arm to stop her. "Okay, I'm at a loss here."

"Me, too."

"Do you think she would have gone into town? Or maybe the trail in the woods?"

"I'll bet she was just in the bathroom the whole time, and this was all pointless," she says half-jokingly.

"Oh, I doubt that. I don't know if she could even put those pants back on by herself."

"Good point." Emi says slowly. After a moment of thought, she makes a disgusted face and then repeats herself. "…Huh… good point…"

"Oh, Emi, come on."

"You know what? Come to think of it, this is the first time in a while that I've seen her in something other than sweatpants."

"Please try not to overthink it."

Emi makes a face, putting a finger to her chin. I take one more glance around, hoping that somehow something will be different from last time.

"…Do you want to split up?" I suggest.

"Hell no. It's way too dark. I've already been using you as my seeing-eye dog."

"But… you've been walking in front of me most of the time."

She ponders this for a moment. "Well, I didn't say you were doing a good job."

"Touché. But if we're not gonna split up, then what do you want to do?"

"Either we go back inside and go back to Noguchi, or take off for one of the gates."

We stare at each other for just a moment, obviously having the same thought.

"The gate to the woods is closer than the main one."

"The woods, then."

We make our way to the far end of the wall, finding the old wrought-iron gate in exactly the same place as I remember. Honestly, it's dinged up and rusty enough that I would believe it if they hadn't refurbished it once in the ten years I was gone.

"Hey, here's a thought," I say, forcing the gate shut behind us as Emi starts off down the path. "It might be fun to come back here some time. Like, for our anniversary, or something."

"Oh, you shouldn't have brought it up, then!" she exclaims with a disapproving pout. "You could have made it a surprise."

"How could I possibly make it a surprise? It's kind of a long drive to get up here."

"I dunno. Blindfold? You shouldn't be spoiling your plans for our anniversary to me!"

"I haven't made any _plans_! It was just an idea, that's all!"

"What? You mean you haven't made plans for our anniversary yet?! But it's coming up soon!"

"I- I- well- hey, it's not coming up _that_ soon!"

"I know." She fails to suppress a grin. "I haven't made any plans, either."

"Oh, screw you."

She pauses for a moment, then has a thought and winks coyly at me. "I just told you _not_ to reveal your anniversary plans."

"…Okay, gross."

"So I'm gross now? Excuse you."

"Oh my God."

Unless the dark is fooling my eyes, Emi is smiling vibrantly. It's good to see her mood improving.

From a small gap between a few trees a bit further down, a shadow appears, accompanied by quiet footsteps. "You know, for a place people have been running off to in order to be alone, this path is certainly beginning to get crowded." It's a woman's voice- one with a pronounced foreign accent.

I feel my face flush with intense embarrassment as I realize that somebody overheard that. Looking past Emi, though, I realize I was wrong…

…It's actually three people. Even better.

"Oh? Who's there?" Emi asks loudly, apparently not nearly as embarrassed as I am.

"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" asks the woman in front. "I didn't mean to come out of the shadows."

The crowd moves a little uphill to meet us on the path, letting me see them better. Wouldn't you know it- the person in the back is Rin, looking dreary and lost.

The other two strike me as familiar as well- an attractive blonde with a cane, and a squirrely pale woman with long violet hair that covers half her face. It only takes me a second or two to recognize the blonde woman as Lilly Satou, the blind girl who had a rivalry with Shizune. I'm immediately thankful to see an old classmate that doesn't look completely different than she did ten years ago. The violet-haired woman's name is totally lost on me, however.

"There you are, Rin!" Emi exclaims, her face relieved and irritated at the same time. "Hisao and I were looking all over for you!"

"Oh, you're friends of Rin's?" Lilly asks, a little surprised. "Hanako and I found her while we were, er… out walking in the woods."

The violet-haired girl- Hanako - nods somewhat frantically and gives an unnerving smile.

Rin takes a step forward, unfazed. "I was just taking a walk."

"Rin, we need to talk," Emi says firmly. She crosses her arms, then turns towards Lilly. "Thanks for helping out, Lilly."

Lilly puts a hand to her mouth, surprised at being called by name. After concentrating for a few moments, she says, "Oh, is… is that… Emi Ibarazaki?"

Damn, and in one guess, too, from voice alone. I wish I was half as good.

"Ehh, close," Emi says after a second. "Ibarazaki is actually my maiden name now."

"Hm, I could have guessed as much. Then…"

"Nakai," I finish. "I'm her husband, Hisao. Emi and I dated at Yamaku; do you remember?"

"Oh, yes, yes… forgive me, it can be… difficult for me to place people, after such a long time." Lilly shakes her head, smiling politely. "But it's very nice to hear about relationships that stand the test of time like that."

"Yep, it's true love," I say with a laugh. "That or a lack of good alternatives. Take your pick."

"Oh, you just couldn't let me have that one, could you?" Emi says sorely, sticking her tongue out at me.

"Well, if it's any consolation, Emi," says Lilly, "I think it is pretty obvious which of those two choices it is, judging from the conversation I overheard…"

And now I'm blushing ten times harder than I ever was before. "So you did overhear that. Wow, that… that is really embarrassing."

"Please, please; there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

I laugh uncomfortably and glance at Emi, but she seems to be a little distracted by Rin. Come to think of it, this is probably not the best time to be catching up.

"I'm sorry, Lilly, I don't mean to be rude, but… would you mind maybe giving us a bit of time alone with Rin?"

"Oh! I'm sorry. Of course; we'll leave you three alone. We don't mean to intrude." She shakes her head, taking a step forward. "Hanako, would you like to accompany me back to campus? I'm sure Shizune is looking for us by now."

"O- okay," Hanako squeaks, rushing past us to get behind Lilly.

What a weird girl. I didn't think I was _that_ scary… I hope she's alright. They both seem almost relieved by the excuse to leave us alone.

"Good night, Lilly! Thanks again!" Emi calls out.

"Night, Lilly," I say apologetically.

"Good night, all," Lilly says politely. "It was good to meet you again."

Hanako trailing just barely ahead, the two of them make their way back through the gate and out of sight.

With nobody to stand behind, Rin shifts to face us, frowning with irritation. "Are you going to yell at me?"

"No," says Emi, obviously trying to exercise some restraint. "We're just worried about you."

Rin blinks, her face blank. "Why?"

"It seems like- well… Rin…" Emi's expression changes a little as she loses track of what to say. "I mean… you haven't really been acting like yourself."

"Have I been acting like someone else?"

"No. I just mean you've been acting different."

"But if I am myself, then isn't whatever way I act 'acting like myself'?"

"Rin, can you stop being tricky for one second? We're trying to help."

"I'm not trying to be tricky."

They make eye contact with one another, both apparently equally confused. It's like they're staring through each other.

"The stuff with Noguchi is _weird_ , Rin," I interject. "Really weird. Your relationship with him is really weird."

Emi and Rin both simultaneously turn to me, surprised to hear me speak up.

"I know," says Rin.

Emi sighs, balling her fists up. "The last time we talked, you told me you wished these guys would just leave you alone. Now, not even half a year later, and you're here with one of these guys who clearly dragged you along against your will, and he's doing exactly the thing you didn't want in the first place. And you don't get why that's worrying?"

"…I don't get why you're worried about it," Rin says genuinely.

"Are you okay with the way things are for you right now?"

"I don't know."

"Do you even _like_ the guy?"

"No. I think I kind of hate him."

"Then _why_ are you letting him involve himself in your life?!"

The question makes Rin grimace like she has a migraine. "I don't know. It's what I want, I think."

"Doesn't it make you feel weird?"

"I don't know; what do you mean by 'weird'?"

"I mean… the guy is in kind of an… intimate situation with you…!"

"No. Not weird." She reviews her answer in her head for a second. "Well, he did try to make out with me once. I guess that was kind of weird."

Emi is dumbstruck for a moment. "… _What_?"

"Well, mostly he just touched my leg a lot, and I think he tried to sit on my lap, which was the especially weird part. But he definitely was also trying to make out with me. I think."

"What did you do?!"

"Well, I didn't know what to do, 'cause, you know, I couldn't push him off of me. So I ended up kneeing him in the stomach. I gave him a bruise which lasted for a week."

"And even after that, you're _still_ letting this guy come into your house and help dress you?"

"It's complicated."

"That doesn't sound very freaking complicated! Just tell him to leave you alone!"

"I can't."

I cross my arms uncomfortably, not sure whether or even how to interject. Rin has always kind of been more of Emi's friend than mine, to be completely honest, but I still have to admit that Rin is really starting to freak me out now.

"What the hell do you mean you can't?" Emi cries out.

"They're… my connections. I still need him to help me sell my art and stuff." Rin's frown feels almost defiant now.

"No, you don't! You can walk away from them and figure out-"

"Emi-"

"Rin, if you need help, I swear we-"

Rin closes her eyes, trembling a little bit. "Emi. Please stop talking now. Please."

I place my hand on Emi's shoulder, which she touches gently for a moment. Rin lightly closes her eyes and begins to take deep, calm breaths in the silence.

Then, out of nowhere, Emi clenches her fists and starts up again. "Rin, you are such an _idiot_!"

Rin opens her eyes again, looking distraught. Emi moves away from me, slowly becoming more animated as she continues.

"You are so, so, _stupidly_ talented! You have _every_ opportunity available to you! Any studio in the country would kill to work something out with you if you just freaking talked to them, so the only thing you have to do is just figure out what you wanna do and _do it_! It would be _so easy_ for you to work this out if you would just freaking _do it_!"

"But I don't _know_ what I want to do. I think about it all the time, but everything is just kind of the same. I don't know… I have been thinking for so long…"

"But you _can_ figure it out! I understand what you're going through, Rin! But _you_ have opportunities right now! There is nothing holding you back! What is your problem?!"

"You don't understand what I'm going through." Rin groans quietly, throwing her head back with some exhaustion. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because it _hurts_ to see you doing this to yourself! You have everything laid out in front of you! It's so obvious! Don't you see that people would _kill_ to be in your position?! Why won't you just stop dragging your feet and _push_ yourself a little, so you can stop _wasting_ everybody else's time?!"

"…Stop talking." Clearly angry, though in an understated sort of way, Rin closes her eyes to focus herself. "I came down here so I could just think by myself. Clearly nobody is going to let me do that, so… I am going to go back. By myself."

She pushes past us and moves towards the gate, though she clearly has trouble opening it. I am a little lost right now, but it definitely seems like the wrong move to try and help her with the gate, so instead I just let her fidget with it using her knee and forearm for a while before finally slipping through it.

Emi just stands still, frozen in place.

I widen my eyes at her, waiting for a response. "…Whoa."

She takes one moment to herself, then sighs loudly, burying her face in her hands. "Oh, shit…"

"…Okay, I'll bite. Emi, what the hell was that?"

"…It was maybe a teensy bit harsh."

"Yeah. A teensy bit."

"She's just so difficult sometimes."

"…That sounded kind of personal, though."

"I dunno."

"Do you wanna tell me what's up with you or is this gonna turn into a fight sometime later, when I'm not expecting it?"

"There's nothing up with me."

"I've known you long enough to know when that's not true."

"We really don't have to do this right now."

"I would rather do it now than later."

She groans quietly, fidgeting with her hands. "Hisao…"

"Since when do we not tell each other what's going on?"

"I just don't want to make tonight more stressful than it needs to be."

"Well, I'm going to be more stressed if I know you're upset about something and it hangs over my head all night. Why don't you just tell me what's on your mind?"

"I don't…" she sighs, looking me in the eye for a moment. "…Yeah, okay, okay. You're right. I'm just… feeling a little frustrated, I guess."

"And Rin is…?"

"Rin doesn't know how good she has it."

"That's not fair. She's-"

"I know it's not fair. I know. I don't wanna take it out on her. And I didn't mean to," she says firmly. "Look, everything has just been kind of stressful for me lately. And it seems like I keep having to think about it. I dunno. It's annoying. It makes it annoying to see Rin squandering all the good opportunities she has."

"So this is about…"

"I'm sure you feel the same way. I'm just… getting kind of sick of being poor."

"Oh, God, Emi, _come on_ …"

"Hey, hey-"

"Emi, we're not _poor_ , seriously. Think about what you-"

"-hey, you asked me to tell you what was on my mind. Well, that's it. That's what was on my mind."

She watches me carefully, looking a little sad and a little frustrated. I feel like I need to tread carefully, but I still do my best to be reassuring. "…Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, you- I don't want you to do anything. There's a reason I didn't want to bring it up." Her face softens a little. "I'm sorry. It's not a big deal. I'll get over it, I promise."

"That's not very reassuring."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I'm just being crazy."

She smiles dismissively, whipping out the doe eyes. It requires a powerful immunity, built up over many years, to power through them.

"Wow, with a smile like that, how could anything possibly be wrong? I guess I'll just drop it."

Her face immediately hardens. "Come on. What do I have to do?"

"Just look at it this way. We get on with things now, and then not only do you need to talk to Rin, you need to apologize, too. And then you've still got me worrying about you. How much do you want to balance on your plate at once?"

She puts a hand to her forehead, her smile a little strained. "Alright…"

"Look, I… I'm trying as hard as I can. With work, and…"

"I know! God, I know it's not _your_ fault!" She smiles lightly. "Geez, I wish it was! Then I could take it out on you. Make you sleep on the couch. At least then I'd get the covers to myself."

"…Wait, you don't really prefer it when I sleep on the couch, do you?"

"No." She glares incredulously at me. "Seriously? No!"

"Alright, alright, that was just a gut punch I wasn't expecting."

"Dumbass."

She shoves me playfully to the side, but I straighten out in order to look serious, which makes her shrink a little.

"Is it what your mom said at dinner? You worried about preschool?"

"Oh, Hisao…"

"…'Cause if you think it's important, then we'll do it, alright? It's not a problem. Trust me; I have my priorities in order. Hell, there are places in the city I could swing by on my way to work if you-"

"It's not just that. It's… everything."

I raise an eyebrow. "Everything, huh?"

"Not like that. Not in a big, crazy kind of way. I'm not trying to be dramatic, okay? I just panicked."

She tilts her head to the side and holds her arms down in front of her, her face now fixed in a shy pout. With the way her hair looks- if it weren't the dead of night at the moment- I would expect blue birds to land on her shoulders and kick off a musical number right about now.

I reach out and place my hands on her shoulders, running them down her arms until both of her hands are in mine. But she still doesn't turn her head.

"Alright," I say quietly. "Hey. Look at me."

"Hisao, you don't have to-"

"You're not looking."

"Fine, fine." She tilts her head slowly up to make eye contact with me, and cracks up as soon as she does. "You're being silly."

"No. I'm helping." I look her in the eyes as firmly as possible. "Emi. We. Are. Fine. Okay?"

Her gaze softens the longer she looks at me.

I do my best to keep a poker face. "You hear me?"

"I hear you," she says quietly.

"Good." I take a breath to buy myself a few more seconds to figure out what to say. "You get that I'm not just saying that, right? I mean, we are _fine_. We are _going_ to be fine. Right now? Whatever we have? We're handling it. We don't have anything to worry about that we can't handle."

"I know, I know…"

"There's not- look, nothing is in danger at work. I have nowhere to go but up. I'm handling this. I swear by that." I squeeze her hand lightly, but never break eye contact. "Whatever crap comes up, we can deal with it, and we will deal with it. Because I know we're both working as hard as the hell we can. And because we're a team, and we're supporting each other. Right? And because…"

She raises an eyebrow. "…Because…?"

"And… because… Hana is a prodigy genius, and she's going to be a millionaire, and take over the world, and buy us an island to support us when we're in diapers."

"Duh." She giggles suddenly, pulling her hands away to cover her mouth.

"We're going to be fine. I _promise_." I try to let myself relax a little. "Count on me, okay?"

"I can do that."

She crosses her arms and looks up at me again, returning my smile. She opens her mouth to say something, but tears form in her eyes, and she stops herself.

"Hey, hey!" I rush towards her, though she seems even more surprised by the tears than I am. "Hey, I'm not _that_ bad at pep talks, am I…? I'm doing the best I can, here."

"No, no, it's not that," she laughs, patting me on the chest to push me away. "It's just… tsch…"

"What?"

She snickers to herself, wiping her eyes with her hand. "It's, uh… you just… made me think of my dad for a second there."

We exchange a glance, and she grins, giving me an expectant look.

I run a hand through my hair, flustered. "O- oh! Uh…"

Without any warning, she throws her arms around me, pressing her head firmly into my chest. I return the hug as soon as I realize what's happening.

"Are you okay?" I ask quietly.

"I'm okay. Promise."

"Good."

"I'm really glad you stuck around." Emi takes a long breath, like a sigh of relief. "You know you're the best, right?"

"I know."

"Like, _the_ best."

"Yeah. I know."

"I love you."

"I know."

"…You were supposed to say, 'I love you, too'."

"I know."

"Hey! Asshole!" Laughing, she pushes me off of her and collects herself a bit, starting off towards the gate. "I take it all back. You're the worst. I'm filing for divorce."

"Could have told me that half an hour ago. Then I wouldn't have had to go out in the cold."

"Oh, stop being such a damn baby."

The gate creaks open uneasily, and I follow Emi through it. I feel bad for the student that opens this thing one too many times and has it break on them.

Something strikes me. "Hey. I bet I know what would make Rin feel better."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Getting the hell out of here."

"Pft. I thought you were going to have a helpful suggestion."

"I do. Let's get Rin and bail out for the night. Go out some place and buy her sushi or something."

"Sushi? We already had dinner."

"What are you, seventy? It would be fun. And nothing cheers people up like free food."

She turns back for a second to look at me over her shoulder. "What happened to date night?"

"…I'll make it up to you."

"I'll count on it."

Somehow, with Emi in the lead, we make it back to the cafeteria without getting lost. With the night starting to drag on, the place is a little less crowded than before- or at least more limited to the half of the room with the bar.

We spot Rin right away. Noguchi is talking into her ear, and she looks distinctly disinterested in whatever it is he's saying. Kenji is nowhere to be seen, for what it's worth.

Noguchi stops himself as we approach, leaning back into his chair with a small frown. "Ah. You two again. Rin found her way back, eventually."

"Satou," Rin says dryly.

"Er." He glances over at her with a degree of confusion. "Yes, er, Lilly Satou found her out in the woods. Rin loses track of herself sometimes, you understand. Her mind tends to wander."

"Rin," Emi says loudly, practically straight-up ignoring Noguchi. "Do you have a ride home?"

Rin stares at her for a long time, not quite annoyed… more like exhausted. To answer the question, she just cranes her head towards Noguchi.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you, Rin. It's not your fault if I get insecure around you. I never should have yelled."

Emi is making puppy-dog eyes again. I'd thought I was the only person immune to that, but then I don't think I've ever seen it used on Rin before. It's an interesting science experiment- like an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object.

The end result is somewhere in the middle of what I expected. Rin softens a little but doesn't budge. Noguchi, on the other hand, looks very confused… maybe even distraught, for some reason.

"Hisao and I are going to get out of here," Emi continues after a few seconds. "Go do something else. _Alone_. Please come with us. We can drive you home."

Noguchi sits up suddenly. "Er… that's a nice gesture, ma'am, but Rin already has plans for the rest of the-"

"Oh, really? Did you ask _Rin_ about these plans, or did you make them yourself?"

"I- well, Rin and I are together for the evening-"

"Says you! Why don't you just let Rin decide for herself?"

He seems a little dumbstruck, but turns to Rin anyway. "Rin, would you please-?"

"Stop. Stop talking." Rin shuts her eyes, still frowning. "I feel like my head is full of angry bees. Please just shut up for one second."

Everyone is quiet for a few moments, and Rin just sits there breathing unevenly. Even though the room is full of noise from everyone else here, it still feels like there is a very weighty silence. Noguchi cups his hands together uncomfortably, and I get the uneasy feeling he would somehow be handling this differently if we weren't in public.

Emi takes a gentle step forward. "Rin…"

"I forgive you," Rin says softly. She opens her eyes, looking vulnerable. If I didn't know better, I would expect her to start crying. "Can we please leave? Now?"

"Y- right now? Yeah, of course."

"Good."

Rin slides off the table and walks toward Emi, who touches her lightly on the shoulder. Noguchi gets out of his seat, frustrated.

"Hang on, Rin! We haven't even spoken to everyone!"

Rin turns fractionally. "I don't want to."

"But… ugh." He puts a hand to his head. "Look, I have my own car. Wherever it is you're going, I want to come along."

"Yeah? Do you?" Emi crosses her arms, now obviously pissed and with an expression I know only too well. "Well, guess what? You're not invited. So leave us the hell alone."

He goes red in the face, fixing his suit neurotically and getting in her face. "Who… do you think…?"

Emi stares him down fearsomely, and he ends up losing steam and trailing off. The two of them stand across from each other for a while, each waiting for the other to say something.

Eventually it becomes clear that he has nothing left to say, and Emi gives up.

"Creep," she says harshly before turning on her heel and heading straight out of the cafeteria. Rin and I trail behind her, both left a little speechless.

We quickly make it back onto the grounds together, and on instinct Emi takes a hard right around the building, even though it's probably the longest possible route to the parking lot.

"I thought you were gonna slap him," I say after a while.

She glances back at me. "So did I."

Rin looks back and forth between the two of us with an inquisitive look on her face, but doesn't say anything. She looks pretty depressed, moreso than before. I just wish I knew what to say to her.

Emi sees her face and frowns. "I'm sorry, Rin; I shouldn't even be getting involved."

"It's okay," Rin says quietly.

Hunched over a little, she wanders out and stands over the hill. Emi walks up next to her, leaning playfully on her shoulder. After a moment, I move to stand next to Emi from the other side.

As I get close, I see that the hill overlooks the field's bleachers from one side, and the track (which is lit by the lights around the field) a little further down. It certainly brings back memories, if nothing else. I'm surprised to see that nobody else has come down this way.

I take it in, tucking my hands into my pockets, but something else immediately steals my attention away. A funny rocking noise.

Emi is bouncing up and down on her plastic heels, rubbing her hands together. And I'd know that face anywhere.

"Wh- Emi, no. _No_."

"Yes," she says excitedly.

"No. Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. Shut up, Hisao. This is a great idea."

"You say that every time you have a terrible idea."

In one move, she flips to her side and shoves her hand in my face, four fingers held up. "Four laps. That's all. I promise."

"You're really not supposed to run on those legs."

"It's _advised against_ ," she says slowly. "But it won't kill me, just this once."

"We're not dressed for it."

"We're not _not_ dressed for it."

"It's been ages since we did this, anyway."

"Yeah, exactly." She pouts, putting her hands on her hips. "What, don't tell me you're so out of shape that you can't give me four measly laps."

"Well, I… not in these clothes."

"That… is a terrible excuse."

I glance back to Rin again, who is watching us with a great deal of intrigue. Huh.

Taking one step around Emi, I pull my coat off and toss it over Rin's shoulders. "…Fine. You're on. Four laps. I'll race you."

At that, Emi grins, then leaps forward and kisses me out of nowhere. Before I even have time to react, she pulls away and darts off down the hill, pulling her shoes and socks off and tossing them haphazardly onto the grass.

I look over at Rin. "She is really something."

"Yeah," Rin says thoughtfully, taking off down the hill without another word.

I stand there by myself for a moment, and Emi makes faces at me from the track. After a brief pause to stretch out my arms and yawn, I follow them down the hill and take my place off to the side of the track, taking off my own shoes.

"What are you doing?" Emi asks, walking up next to me.

"I'm not scuffing these shoes up."

"You can't run in your bare feet!"

"Why not? You are."

"Yeah, it's not the same thing, smartass."

"I'll be fine."

"You'll never catch me without your shoes on."

"Oh, I'll never catch you anyway."

"…Alright, fair enough."

She bounces impatiently as I pull my socks off, which entertains me immensely. Once I set my feet on the track, I bend over and start stretching out my legs, prompting a loud groan.

"Oh my God, Hisao, what are you doing now?"

"What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm stretching. It's very important. You should know that."

"You…" She slumps down onto the ground next to me in order to stretch out her body over her legs. "Alright, fine. If that's how you wanna play it."

I glance over to see Rin settling very comfortably into the bottommost row of the bleachers, kicking her feet up. It's nice to see her more relaxed, if nothing else.

She spends about five minutes watching us, not moving an inch. I actually think she's fallen asleep several times, before I notice her eyes still open.

Emi seems to be paying just as much attention to Rin as I am- probably more, actually.

Eventually Emi gets sick of my stalling and stands, nudging me with her leg. "Alright, no more. You're ready now."

"I was born ready."

"Yeah, alright, hotshot," she snickers.

She wanders over to the starting line and bends over, setting her hands down on the ground. I do the same in the lane next to her, as though this is actually going to be a race. Even if I can't win, though, I know she'd kill me if I didn't try.

"On three." She glances back to me with a brief wink, then digs her hands into the ground. "Three… twoonego-!"

The millisecond she gets the last word out, she's gone in a trail of dust, and I already know I have no hope of trying to catch up to her. Even still, I take off all the same, amazed at how fast she can run even in her blue jeans and without her running prosthetics. I'm really going to have to hold her to just four laps, or she'll probably break the ones she's wearing.

I focus on my breathing, just letting my legs carry me along. I at least manage to keep Emi as more than just a speck in front of me, which is victory enough as far as I'm concerned. My legs start burning, but my chest feels okay. It feels good to get my blood pumping, if anything. After all this time, I know that it's the hard-earned result of practice.

Over on the bleachers, unless it's my imagination, I see Rin smiling. Just a little.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I remember a time when it would probably have been dangerous for me to even think about pushing myself like this. Man, how times have changed.

It's nice to feel so alive.


	3. For Better Or Worse

_5:00_.

The clock ticks quietly from across the room, chiming quietly as it hits the hour mark. It's too small and short to call a grandfather clock, but too large to call it anything else. An issue for another time, I suppose.

The chime startles the cat, who was sleeping on top of it. Instead of climbing off, as I expected, he just whips his head around and stares at me as though I was somehow responsible for waking him up. This goes on for nearly a full minute before I start to feel uncomfortable, and I return the stare with some determination, folding my book on my lap. He narrows his eyes at me with a distinct harshness. I can only imagine all the insults he is just dying to throw out.

"What? What are you looking at?" I ask.

Nothing. The death glare does not let up.

"…What?"

He licks his paw, not breaking his gaze.

" _What_?"

No reaction. I give up and sink into my chair.

I open my book again, but at this point I've completely lost interest. It's a lost cause.

"Who are you talking to?"

Hanako's voice startles me, and my face jolts upward to look at her. Somehow, I get even more surprised every time she manages to sneak up on me.

I shake my head and gesture past her, to the cat. "Walnut."

"…I don't think he can understand you."

"Well, I can understand him just fine."

"What is that supposed to mean…?"

"It means that he hates me."

She frowns incredulously, crossing her arms. "He does not-!"

"He does, too. Every time he notices me he gives me this malevolent glare, like he's plotting something."

I take another look at him, narrowing my eyes. Since Hanako walked in, his attention has been completely directed towards her. Suddenly, he looks much cuter and _much_ less malicious.

"He's not plotting! He's a good kitty." Hanako turns on her heel and walks over to him, petting him with measured gentleness. "Aren't you…? Walnut…?"

"He stops making that face every time you come in the room. I swear he does it on purpose."

"That's not fair… he can't help it."

"I'm not convinced."

She studies me for a moment, frowning slightly, then turns and picks Walnut up off of the clock. At her touch, he immediately scrambles into her arms with anticipation, nuzzling his face into her neck. Figures.

My eyes fix on the clock for a moment. "Did you notice the time?"

"Mm." Hanako nods slowly, stroking the cat in her arms. "She's running very late…"

"Do you think we should call her or something?"

She ponders the suggestion, but ultimately shakes her head. "No, I'm sure she will be here soon. I don't want to make her feel rushed…"

"Well, I don't know. Maybe it's about time she started feeling rushed."

"I don't think that's necessary…"

"Should we wake Lilly, at least?"

"Oh, stop," Hanako scolds lightheartedly. "Just let her sleep… things will happen when they happen. She is already dressed and everything."

"You're too lenient, as usual."

I pull myself out of my chair, leaving my book on the side table. With a placid smile, I close the distance between Hanako and me and settle my arms underneath hers.

"Can I hold him?" I ask, albeit tentatively. The prideful part of me wants him to be rowdy just so I can prove my point.

"Oh…? If you want…"

She pulls her arms away from me, unsettling the cat enough for him to transition into mine. To my genuine surprise, he settles into my arms enough for me to prop him up on my shoulder. Considering his usual hostility, I can only assume that Hanako simply relaxed him too much for him to turn against me now.

"See? He's perfectly relaxed," Hanako says with a loving smile, pulling her hands into her chest. "He looks so comfortable like this."

"He likes you so much that he's forgotten to hate me."

"Hmm. Well, at least he's getting used to that feeling, then."

"Mhm."

Walnut purrs gently in my arms, and it's too difficult not to pet him even despite my resentment. Hanako watches with an approving smile, leaning back against the far windowsill. Her smile is so kind and genuine that it makes me forget everything I was thinking about.

We look at each other for a few moments before I say anything. "You look nice today."

"Oh… thank you…" Taken by surprise, she immediately blushes and tilts her head down, staring somewhere around my kneecaps. "You, too…"

"Hm, I imagine that must be a difficult thing to tell just by looking at my pants."

She snaps her gaze upwards to make eye contact with me, blushing harder than before. "You're embarrassing me!"

"I can't help it. It is a waste of an opportunity not to pay you a compliment if I notice something like that."

She gives a small laugh and closes her eyes, looking rather angelic in the sunlight. It's one of those serene moments that you have to take care to appreciate. Life experience has taught me that moments of real peace always tend to get interrupted as soon as you get comfortable with them.

And interrupted it is, with all the subtlety of a derailing freight train. The sudden sound of the doorbell startles Walnut enough for him to draw his claws and leap out of my arms onto the nearest piece of furniture. His unwarranted assault forces me to stumble backwards and shout profanity somewhere at the floor, which in turn apparently startles Hanako even more severely.

"Hisao! Are you okay?!" she asks hurriedly, grasping my arm with sudden concern.

I wave her off as calmly as possible. "Fine! I'm fine! Just surprised me, that's all. Freaking cat."

"Oh…"

"No, I'm sorry. It's fine- he's fine. Seriously."

She frowns guiltily, making me feel bad for even reacting. It's ironic how good she is at transferring her feelings of guilt onto me, considering how much she hates to do it.

The doorbell rings again, this time accompanied by a violent pounding on the front door. Hanako and I exchange a glance as we remember what caused any of this in the first place.

A loud, impatient female voice echoes through the hall into the living room. " _Knock knock!_ "

Without any discussion, Hanako rushes off to the door, and I slowly shuffle on behind her. She gently opens the door, and as soon as she does, Akira stampedes into the room and forces Hanako to shuffle back.

"'Bout time!" Akira bellows, both hands held dramatically behind her back. "Hope I'm not interrupting something!"

"No, of course not… hello, Akira…" Hanako says quietly.

I step aside to allow Akira space to move past. "Hi."

"So." With a dramatic gesture, Akira throws her arms out in front of her, revealing an enormous bottle of malt whisky that has been tied with a bow at one end. "Happy birthday, Hanako! …Belated birthday. You know what I mean."

Hanako immediately blushes out of modesty, but Akira shoves the bottle into her arms to avoid allowing her any time to be embarrassed.

"I know it looks like a lazy gift," Akira continues, "but I promise you, authentic Scotch whisky is one of those things that are worth getting from someone who knows their shit, and can get it straight from the source. You'll thank me later."

Akira slides past us and makes her way into the living room, throwing her hands behind her head to make herself look even more dismissively casual than usual. Hanako turns half to the side, hugging the bottle against her chest like it's a teddy bear.

"No, it's not lazy at all…" Hanako protests. "Thank you so much, Akira."

I follow Akira into the living room, tugging gently on Hanako's arm to pull her alongside me. "And no matter the gift, it was really thoughtful of you to bring something."

"Yeah, well, couldn't let Lilly make me look bad again," Akira says with a small shrug.

Hanako slips straight through the living room to bring the whisky into the kitchen, leaving us briefly alone.

After a second of thought, Akira scratches her chin curiously. "Where is that girl, anyway? I thought she'd be sitting here waiting to scold me for getting here late."

I look past her, towards the guest bedroom at the end of the hall on the opposite side of the room. "I think she's sleeping."

"Sleeping? Are you kidding me? And you let me think I was setting us behind!"

"She's still a little bit jet-lagged," Hanako says passively, appearing in the doorway. "I can go wake her up. She shouldn't be long at all…"

"Jet-lagged! Pft, what a lightweight!" Akira says with an affectionate grin.

Hanako flashes a smile for a split-second before disappearing again, this time to fetch Lilly.

Akira sighs loudly, settling herself against the windowsill. "Her Highness Shizune is not going to be happy about our tardiness."

"That's not really saying much."

"Ha! Well put!"

"I don't know; it's just the truth. Shizune tends to be on a hair trigger." I smile uncomfortably. I know Akira doesn't mind my opinion, but it still seems rude to say. "Then again, who knows when the last time I saw her was? I probably shouldn't say things like that."

"You're not wrong. Trust me, that woman never changes. Stubbornness runs in our family." Akira laughs self-consciously, like she feels a little guilty for mentioning it. "There's a reason Lilly and her are still so dangerous around each other. It's high school drama, for God's sake, but it's still one hatchet that will never get buried."

"That's a shame."

"I think so, too. But that's family for you, right?"

She smiles commiseratively, though I can't exactly sympathize. After all, I have no siblings, no in-laws, and no children. My family is about as small and isolated as it gets. That sort of thing never stops Akira from speaking in broad terms, though.

Neither of us says anything for a minute, which seems to put off Akira much more than it does me. Listening closely, I can hear Hanako and Lilly chattering somewhere down the hall, but before I can make out what they're saying, Akira interrupts my thoughts.

"Damn, it's always so quiet around here," she says with a groan. "You live with a kid for long enough, and you forget what it even sounds like not to have the TV on."

"It must be a relief to be able to take these business trips, then."

"Sure, but I usually don't really mind it. It reminds you that someone's still alive in the house besides you, you know?"

She looks at me suspiciously, and I shrug, not knowing how to respond.

"I thought that was the reason you got a cat," she chuckles.

"Oh, that was Hanako's idea."

"Mm, is that a hint of resentment I hear?"

"I think you're reading too much into it."

"Sure I am." She takes a step off the windowsill, loudly clasping her hands together. "Sounds like trouble in paradise…"

I shoot her an irritated look, but it just encourages her. She opens her mouth to say something else, but before she gets the chance someone else cuts her off.

"Akira!" Lilly's voice takes us both by surprise, and we snap to attention at the entrance of the hall to see her standing firmly in front of Hanako. "Would you please stop harassing my friends? They're already being kind enough to tolerate _me_."

"Well, hey there, Sleeping Beauty," Akira says coolly. "You know we have somewhere to be, right?"

"Believe me, I know. Feel free to allow Shizune to scold me for it." Lilly closes her eyes and sighs quietly, looking predictably weary.

"I don't think she needs our permission."

Everyone laughs but Hanako, who shoots me a disapproving glare instead.

"I think it will be okay," Hanako says tentatively.

Lilly tilts her head toward the ground, frowning guiltily. "No, you're right, Hanako. Besides, it's not right to talk about her behind her back."

She wrings her hands uncomfortably. Hanako, clearly feeling a little awkward, scoots past her to stand next to me.

My thoughts return to Shizune- it's been years since I saw her last. If relations between her and Lilly are really that bad, the prospect of being stuck in the middle of it is worrying me more by the second.

"Wasn't this get-together your idea in the first place, Lilly?" I ask, though a little more accusingly than I intended.

"Well…" Lilly murmurs, "…it was my idea to come down with Akira so I could make it to the reunion. Dinner with the Hakamichis, well… I think that was just the right thing to do. They _are_ our family down here, after all."

"It's a little late for cold feet now," Akira says with a raised eyebrow.

"I know! Please, Akira, give me a little credit." Lilly takes a step forward to move toward the door, and Hanako rushes to help guide her. "This is going to be very pleasant, I promise. I'm looking forward to reconnecting."

"See, now, that's the right attitude. I can't wait to see that twerp Hideaki again. If we're lucky, he brought that nurse girlfriend of his along with him."

Akira fixes her tie with a devilish grin, moving to follow Hanako and Lilly. I trail behind, staying an extra moment to shut the lights off.

"Hideaki has a girlfriend now?" I ask absentmindedly.

Picturing Hideaki in my head, it's hard to imagine him ending up with a woman- or _anybody_ , really, for that matter. I suppose that's what I get for assuming things.

"Oh, does he ever! She's a total bombshell… funny, too. Fingers crossed that they get hitched."

"Huh. Good for him, then."

"Yeah, well, try not to sound so surprised about it in front of him." She says it like a joke, but it comes off as a little defensive. It's no secret that Akira has a soft spot for Hideaki.

The crowd slows to a halt in front of the house, and Akira parts from us to take her own car. Lilly breaks away from Hanako, who whimpers quietly in protest.

"We shouldn't leave you to travel in silence by yourself, Akira. It _is_ a long trip," Lilly explains.

"I'm a big girl; I think I can handle it," snorts Akira. "I wouldn't want to break up the three Musketeers. Anyway, I know I'm just getting in the way."

"Oh, don't say that. You aren't getting in the way of anything."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you could see Hanako's face right now."

…Oh, boy.

Hanako jumps with surprise at being called out, blushing as though on cue. "Wh- what?! No, I-!"

Lilly turns suddenly, legitimately concerned. "I'm sorry, Hanako; I didn't mean to…"

"No, you didn't do anything-! Please, go. We'll… meet you at the restaurant…"

"Oh… well…"

"No prob," Akira interjects quickly. "We'll see you there." She shoots me an apologetic frown and tugs on Lilly's arm, directing her towards her car.

Now wildly embarrassed, Hanako slinks away, climbing into the passenger seat of our car without looking back. I suppose it's time to do some damage control. What a night this is shaping up to be so far.

Damn it, Akira. I love her, but sometimes she can be irritatingly careless. People who tease always seem to do so right up to the point of being ingratiating.

Akira's car blasts out of the driveway, and I pull out behind her, hoping to follow them rather than have to navigate myself. One glance at Hanako tells me she's already a little dispirited.

"Hey." I flash her a small smile, which she returns disingenuously. "It's going to be a long night. We've still got plenty of time to spend with Lilly."

"I know, I know, but most of it will be with a lot of people around… hm…" Hanako puts a hand to her face, pensive. "I don't know. I wish she could visit more often…"

"Me, too, but you know it's not very practical. She's a busy person."

"I know that. I'm… hm, honestly, I think it's a little strange that she still bothers with us…"

"Oh, Hanako. Please don't say things like that. She's our friend. That's all there is to it."

Silence. I let out a sigh, which I immediately regret.

"Maybe we should go see her in Scotland next time," Hanako says after a long while. "I _would_ like to travel more…"

"We can't exactly plan a trip like that off-hand."

"We could start planning. We had a lot of fun when we went on our honeymoon."

"Well, we had wedding money on our honeymoon. I mean, Lilly practically paid for that trip singlehandedly…"

"I know, but…"

"…And I haven't really had a lot of time for that kind of thing lately."

"I understand all that… it was just an idea."

"I'm sorry. I just don't want you to get your hopes up."

"No, I- I understand…"

"I… don't want-"

"-No, no… it's alright…"

With a quiet sigh, Hanako leans into her seat, cupping her hands together. Both of us are silent for an uncomfortably long while.

In the car ahead of us, I can see Akira and Lilly chattering away. Wondering what they're talking about depresses me.

It's easy to understand what's upsetting Hanako- it feels like things have really changed between us and Lilly. Even despite our best efforts, it's impossible to keep a close friendship strong when there is this much distance involved for this long. I know how much Hanako values their friendship, which makes it difficult to watch it become strained like this.

There's this biting feeling I get in my gut sometimes around Lilly, like there's a strange disconnect between the three of us when she is around. It pulls me back to my memories of Yamaku, in the worst possible way. The rift Lilly created when she first moved just grew stronger and stronger as time went on and I got closer to Hanako, and now… even though we're all friends, I have to admit that it's extremely disconcerting when Hanako starts acting differently around her. It's like she doesn't really know how to act at all. Like she reverts a little bit.

I know it's something she wants to fix- desperately so, in fact. The first (and only) time I ever brought it up, it bothered Hanako nearly enough to bring her to tears. So now I keep it to myself. Maybe it's not the healthiest thing to do, but at least it's a manageable problem.

She can tell it's what I'm thinking about. Her expression is painfully easy to read. I just hope she understands that I want to help.

I rap my fingers along the steering wheel, deep in thought. "You could go without me."

"Hisao…" she murmurs, turning in her seat to face me.

"No, I mean it. That would be a lot more feasible. It would cost a lot less. You could bring your laptop and work over the internet, and then you wouldn't even have to take much vacation time. When's the last time you and Lilly did something, just the two of you?"

She hesitates for a moment. "It _has_ been a long time…"

"I feel a 'but' coming on…"

"… _but_ I'd still rather you came."

We exchange a brief glance.

"I think it would be a good experience for you, anyway," I say with a shrug.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean… she _is_ your best friend. If you're worried about your relationship, I think a trip would be good for it. It would be a bonding experience."

She sighs quietly, sinking into her seat. "She's your friend, too."

"Of course she is."

"But the way you talk about her…"

"It's just different between her and me than it is between you and her."

"…Why?"

She blinks innocently. It seems as unclear to her as it is obvious to me. I hate these little miscommunications we have sometimes.

"She's your best friend, Hanako."

"Isn't she yours?"

"Well… no… I don't know…"

"Then who is?"

…Huh.

I shrug. "Well. You, I suppose."

"No, that's not fair. You can't say that."

"Why not?"

"Because if I'm your best friend, you're _my_ best friend, too."

It's gratifying to hear, admittedly, but she says it with such dire seriousness that I find myself too distracted to be affectionate.

"I'm just trying to say that you've known her longer."

"Not that much longer…"

"But you have more of a history. Come on; you _can't_ tell me you don't know what I'm talking about."

"I do… but I don't think that's what I want our relationship to be about." She takes a long pause, contemplating how exactly to explain herself. "I don't want to cling to the way things were between us in high school. I am grateful that I don't have to rely on her the way I did then. I would be happier if we could just… see each other more as equals."

"You don't think you see each other that way already?"

"I don't know if she does, necessarily…" she says hesitantly. "Er… I think that maybe she doesn't quite understand how… things have changed, with time. Do you understand…? She still… mothers, a little bit."

"That sounds to me like all the more reason for you two to do something together."

"That's why I said we should visit her in Scotland. But it's not just me… I think she does it with you, too, if you haven't noticed."

"That's just the way she is."

"With us."

I rap my fingers over the steering wheel, not sure exactly what to think.

Hanako taps on my arm, remembering something. "Do you remember when she flew down for my birthday?"

"Of course I do. We had a great time, too. You talked about that karaoke place for ages afterwards. You can't _possibly_ tell me that was-"

"-I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it. I'm saying that she went out of her way to do it. Do you know why she flew all the way down? It was because I hadn't mentioned my birthday to her at all, even though it was coming up. Because she was worried about me."

"But… it's not like she didn't have good reason to be worried about you around your birthday…"

I shoot her an apologetic glance, and she groans at me.

"That's my point… that's what she was worrying about, even though she had so much going on, separate from us. Sometimes I think we're an… obligation for her, or something…"

"So talk to her about it."

"What? No! I don't want to accuse her of something like that! It's like… criticizing her for being too good of a friend…"

"Aren't you essentially saying she's only still friends with us because she doesn't think we can take care of ourselves?"

She puts a hand to her face, a little disturbed. "Well… wow… when you put it like that…"

"Here's a crazy idea: maybe she's just our friend, and she cares about us because our friendship is important to her."

That makes her soften a little, which is rewarding in its own right. She quickly corrects her expression to a firm pout, though. "It's a little bit more complicated than that."

"It doesn't have to be."

There is another silence, and I glance over to see her staring gloomily out of the window. I can't help but find her stubbornness irritating.

"Okay, you'd rather spend time with her apart from the crowd tonight, right? Let's start with that." I bite my lip, making up my plan as I go along. "Do you think the Shanghai is still open?"

"The tea shop?"

"That's right. It's a short walk from the campus. And it's nice out."

"I don't know if they would even keep it open at night."

"They used to keep it open past dark all week. Do you remember the fireworks at the festival, around when we first met? We watched them from inside the Shanghai."

"Oh… we did, didn't we…?"

"So, unless you really want to spend a lot of time at the reunion-"

"-I really just wanted to see my friends from the newspaper club…"

"Then maybe we can get out early, and spend some time in town before it gets too late. Akira's not staying after dinner, and Shizune has Hideaki covered, so…"

"That sounds fun."

"It wouldn't really be a trip back to Yamaku without wasting our whole night sitting around a table drinking tea, right?"

She laughs gently, smiling earnestly for the first time since we got in the car. "Okay, let's ask her about that, then."

"We still have most of the week before their flight back, don't forget. And that gift Akira brought for you should at least be able to make one interesting night out of it."

"Maybe we should just worry about _tea_ for now," she giggles.

"Fine, fine." I look her over, relieved to see her mood improving. "You know, I miss those pink pajamas you used to wear."

She buries her face in her hands, making an exaggerated sigh to scold me. "Oh, you just had to go and say something like that."

"If I never embarrassed you, I'd never be able to say anything nice about you at all." I shrug unashamedly. "Besides, I didn't really think it would be a revelation that I thought you looked cute in your nightgown."

She thinks for a moment, "It's not. That's… the reason I wore it so often."

"Really, that was deliberate? In high school? I used to wonder about that…"

"Mhm. Although, before Lilly left, I used to think it was kind of embarrassing, because she always had on that… those…"

"…She didn't cover up her legs very often."

"Yes, exactly…"

"Yeah. I- uh, I remember that."

I chuckle awkwardly, and she laughs at my expense. I guess it would probably be hypocritical to object to her embarrassing me, so instead, I just take pleasure in the fact that she's willing to enjoy it. With nothing left to say, for my fear of digging myself deeper, we are both quiet for a while. It's a relaxed sort of quiet, though… the kind I've gotten quite used to at home.

Akira's car bumbles along in front of us at a snail's pace, eventually taking us out of the city and down a less populated area that I am fairly sure is near where Shizune lives. I keep following her, though… and following… and following… without bothering to check the route myself. Eventually 6:00 hits- the time our reservation was supposed to be scheduled for. I had thought Akira and Lilly were being a little hyperbolic during their conversation, but I guess we actually did end up making ourselves pretty late.

At some point Akira pulls into the parking lot of the restaurant, but my mind has been wandering so much by that point that I barely even register that we've arrived at first. Hanako rushes out of the car to meet up with Akira and Lilly, and I take a moment to collect myself and fix my eternally sloppy hair in the rear view mirror.

As I step out, Akira leans stylishly on the hood of my car, throwing her hands in front of her face and appraising the entrance of the restaurant. "Certain death in three… two…"

"Oh, hush," Lilly says sternly, wandering over to us with Hanako at her arm. "At this point she is absolutely right to be upset with us."

Akira shuts her eyes, smiling playfully. "Let's just get it over with, then."

And with that, she ejects herself from the hood of the car and marches straight into the restaurant, leaving the three of us to follow her in. I'm expecting to have to get led to our table by the server, but as soon as I step inside I'm surprised to find that we don't actually have one yet. Instead, we find Shizune and Hideaki standing guard in the lobby like a pair of bloodhounds. Or more accurately, like one bloodhound standing next to a… sleepy Chihuahua, or something? Hideaki is hard to pin down.

Shizune's eyes glint with frustration as soon as she spots us stepping through the entrance. In an overly dramatic gesture, she stands to attention and signs something forcefully to Hideaki, who translates mechanically without even introducing himself first. "Do I even have to say it?"

"It was me," Akira volunteers, not skipping a beat. "I showed up late to their place. Thought you kids could learn some patience. …So, you're welcome."

Shizune adjusts her glasses, frowning at Akira with disapproval. "Don't look so proud. We could have lost our reservation. They don't seat incomplete parties- it's that kind of place."

"Alright, alright! My bad!" Akira shrugs awkwardly, gesturing to the three of us. "No need to dwell on it. We're all together now, right?"

"Yes. Just be glad it's not a busy evening." Shizune purses her lips, making an unreadable kind of expression.

Lilly sighs, smiling tiredly. "Please, there's no need to be dismissive, Shizune. We should take the time to get properly reacquainted, especially since I brought friends along, whom I know you haven't-"

Shizune begins signing halfway through Lilly's speech, and Hideaki tactlessly begins translating without waiting for her to finish. "-Let's save the introductions for now and just get situated first."

Hideaki shrugs, and with the subject apparently dismissed Akira nods and begins a brief discussion with the waiter. Lilly puts a hand to her forehead, preemptively exhausted.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I miss having Misha around to translate for Shizune. While she may have failed to understand the odd sarcastic comment, at least she _tried_ to accommodate Shizune's tone. When Hideaki does it, he barely inflects at all. Shizune may as well be using a text-to-speech translator. It's harder to tell what she's thinking now than it ever was before.

After a few words with Akira, the waiter gestures for us to follow him, which we do in a nearly single-file line. He leads us to a broad circular table secluded in the back of the restaurant, which seems rather pointless considering how remarkably empty the rest of the restaurant is. There are a few odd guests here and there, but in hindsight we probably didn't even need to have bothered getting a reservation. It sure seems like there was a lot of concern about this over nothing, but then if I know anything about Shizune, that was probably to be expected.

Shizune plants herself at the table first, and Hideaki instinctively sits next to her. With a playful jab at his side, Akira slips into the seat next to him, then Lilly, and we circle all the way around so that I end up between Hanako and Shizune. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

The waiter takes everyone's drink orders as Shizune scans the table with an alienating glare. A few awkward moments pass before anyone actually bothers to speak up, and Lilly is the only one to get anything besides water (champagne, of course).

"Well, are we allowed to say hello yet, or do you need another few minutes to lay into me first?" Akira asks teasingly, pouring herself a glass of water from the pitcher on the table.

Shizune pouts, thinking on this, before briefly signing something to Hideaki. "I don't see why we can't do both."

Hideaki blinks absentmindedly, as though registering for the first time that he exists as a separate entity from his sister. "So, hello, then, I think."

"Hideaki, kid- it's been ages!" Akira declares, leaning into the table. "Didja miss me?"

"I don't know. Not particularly," he replies bluntly. Akira just chuckles at the response, unoffended.

Shizune snaps her fingers loudly (causing Lilly to recoil) and signs something directly at me, as though I could somehow interpret it myself. Hideaki translates for her with a bored tone. "Hisao and Hanako. It has been a long time since I saw the two of you together."

"Yeah. Good to see you again, Shizune." I smile awkwardly and glance at Hanako, who doesn't miss a beat.

"I like your… um, suit," Hanako says quietly. "You look distinguished."

Shizune nods once, apparently approving of the compliment. "I was going to say the same thing to you. You've matured. You both look like proper adults now."

I shoot her a look. "That's an… odd thing to say, considering we're the same age."

"It's just a compliment. You look mature. That's all."

Hanako nods politely. "Thank you…"

I'm not sure how to follow that up, so I don't bother trying. Shizune contemplates this for a moment, but doesn't say anything else. Thankfully, before the silence has a chance to turn awkward, Lilly clears her throat to get everyone's attention.

"You seem to have gotten more comfortable translating, Hideaki," she says politely.

He nods fractionally and glances at Shizune, speaking carefully. "Our father has been very forceful about me needing to become fluent in sign language."

Shizune rolls her eyes at that and signs something, which he takes a moment to interpret. "-She says that our father has been forceful about that ever since Misha stopped hanging around her." He pauses, presumably to separate Shizune's words from his own. "Which is true, I suppose, but he _has_ been especially harsh lately after the last time the three of us tried to meet up together."

"Who cares what he says?" Akira asks with a shrug. "Your dad is always being harsh about something. That's kind of his thing."

"It does not really matter either way. I wanted to improve my signing regardless of what he said."

"Well, that is probably for the best," Lilly says. "It certainly makes family gatherings easier, doesn't it? I'm sure Jigoro just had the same feeling."

Shizune frowns coldly, signing at Hideaki but looking directly at Lilly. "Whatever his reasons are, I am sure they are selfish and out of line." She squints curiously, making a sour face. "It must have been years since you last spoke with him, Lilly. I can't remember you two meeting any time recently."

Lilly frowns regretfully. "It has been a long time, to be sure. Just… to be perfectly blunt, Shizune, I really prefer not to interact with him. If I recall correctly, the last thing he said to me was that my work ethic was wasted teaching children, and that I need to grow a backbone and go into law like my mannish sister."

"Son of a bitch called me mannish," Akira grumbles.

"That sounds like him," Hideaki says, though I'm not sure if it was he or Shizune speaking. Judging from both of their expressions, though, they were probably both thinking the same thing anyway.

The subject fizzles out, with nobody interested in talking about Shizune's father. –Besides me, that is, but that is only because he sounds so intriguing from the stories I've heard about him. It's not exactly worth pushing the subject over.

With everyone essentially settled in, the waiter comes back and takes everyone's orders. Lilly is caught off-guard, as she forgot to review the menu in the midst of the conversation (everyone else just read over it as we talked). Hanako hurriedly reads most of it out to her while the waiter gets everyone else's order, instead. Apparently this embarrasses Lilly a lot, to the point of visible frustration, which is a little off-putting. The waiter is fairly gracious about it, though.

Once the waiter is out of earshot, Akira immediately fixes her attention on Hideaki, apparently no longer willing to wait to ask her burning question. "So where's your girlfriend, Hideaki? Don't tell me you didn't want to bring her out just because this is a family thing."

"I do not have a girlfriend," he responds monotonously. "Nor have I had one for some time."

"Huh?! Not the nurse? With the ponytail?"

"No."

"Oh, damn, really? Man, that's too bad; she sure was cute. I wouldn't have minded keeping her around." Disappointed, Akira leans back, watching Hideaki's face carefully. "What, did you just decide to see other people, or…?"

"I broke up with her. Eventually I just lost interest, I think."

"Lost interest? In a girl that looks like that? Damn, you set the bar high, kid."

"She was not prepared for a serious relationship. She had no mind for the logistics of it," Hideaki says matter-of-factly. "…Also, she kept criticizing the way I dress."

"Man, you Hakamichis, I swear. What the hell are the _logistics_ of a relationship?"

At that, Shizune flashes a smug smile and quickly signs something to Hideaki. "If you have to ask that, you probably aren't prepared for a relationship yourself."

Lilly narrows her eyes with irritation, immediately clueing in to the fact that that was one of Shizune's comments. "I can't help but wonder what your frame of reference is on that, _Shizune_ , considering your own relationship history."

"Well, I'm sorry, but not all of us have the spare time to waste on trivialities like that."

"Trivialities?! That is quite a declaration from someone who- oh…" Lilly trails off with a sigh, trying not to escalate things. "I'm sorry. That was rude."

Akira chuckles and leans back in her chair, not bothered by the conflict. "You two…"

Oblivious, Hideaki signs all of this to Shizune, who pouts slightly and takes a drink without saying anything. Hanako rests her elbows on the table and leans into it, trembling a little, the way she does when she's worrying about someone.

In the midst of Shizune and Lilly's spat, I know I'm the only person who's at all conscious of Hanako. It's not exactly an unfamiliar feeling, but it makes me tense regardless.

I slide my arm across the table and rest it on Hanako's forearm, and she smiles appreciatively. Interestingly, I notice Shizune smiling at the gesture as well, though only for a few moments.

Taking notice of this, Hanako perks up a little. "You… aren't interested in dating, Shizune?"

Shizune shakes her head as Hideaki translates. "It's not that I'm not interested. It's that I don't have time." She scratches her chin and thinks for a moment before continuing. "I work 80 hours a week. Working around someone else's needs just sounds like more effort than I am willing to put in."

"But you are interested, then?"

She hesitates for a moment. "It is not something I'm thinking about right now."

"Hideaki needs to get on top of it, then, or you Hakamichis will die out without any heirs. Imagine what Jigoro would say," Akira says sardonically.

"I agree. I approved of his last girlfriend. I would have liked to have had someone in the family going into medicine." Hideaki narrows his eyes wearily. Unfortunately for him, his sister can't even embarrass him without him having to say it all out loud.

Akira is clearly clued into this, which allows her to enjoy his reaction all the more. "Well, apparently she was not logistical enough for Hideaki's tastes."

His face sinks pleadingly, as Akira and Shizune are now officially bonding at his expense. I am beginning to suspect that this is Shizune's primary method of connecting to people.

"She was plenty logistical, and very intelligent, as far as I could tell. They say that men always marry their mothers, so I suppose I was hoping that she reflected our own… wherever she may be right now."

"Reflected on your mother?" Akira turns towards Hideaki with a small smirk. "Ah, see, now that could be an explanation for where you get all that wit and intellect from."

Shizune shrugs and signs one final time, which Hideaki translates hurriedly. "But they aren't getting married anyway, so it's a moot point." He wrings his hands together uncomfortably, a vague frown plastered to his face. "…Which means we do not need to discuss my ex-girlfriend anymore, I would hope."

Hanako and I exchange an amused glance, and Shizune's comments hang briefly in my mind- 'men always marry their mothers'. Of all the women at the table, Hanako is probably the one that reminds me the _least_ of my mother. Aside from constantly worrying about me, the two have hardly anything in common. In hindsight, I think that one of the things that attracted me to Hanako in the first place was how different she is from other people, so I suppose it all makes sense if you think about it. Maybe I'm the exception and not the rule.

I suspect Hanako is having the same thought as me, for better or worse. She has never really gotten along with my parents, though not for lack of trying. The looks on their faces when I first introduced her to them is permanently burned into both our brains, and to this day the foundation of their relationship has been essentially them doting and being overly accommodating to try and make up for a bad first impression. They may have good intentions, but it doesn't make our family gatherings any less awkward.

…I feel strangely sympathetic for Shizune and Lilly, all of a sudden.

Our food arrives somewhere in the middle of this train of thought, but I'm too distracted to pay it any mind.

After quickly thanking the waiter, I immediately gesture towards Hideaki to get Shizune's attention. "Hey, Shizune, is Misha coming to the reunion?"

Hideaki shoots me a poisonous glare, as he has to pull himself away from his food to interpret. The strange thing, though, is that Shizune makes the exact same expression when she sees what I asked her. After a few seconds of deliberation, she decides on, "Probably."

"You should have invited her to dinner! That might have been fun," I say with a shrug.

"Yes, well, what you call 'fun', I call 'disastrous'."

"Disastrous? What makes you say that?"

Judging from everyone's expressions, I've clearly treaded into territory I shouldn't have, but I'm in too deep to change the subject now. At least Hanako seems as lost as I am.

"You have been out of the loop for a while, so I will spare you the bloody details, but Misha and I do not get along anymore."

"Oh… I'm sorry to hear that." I clear my throat uncomfortably. "Are… you worried about running into her at the reunion, then?"

Shizune rolls her eyes disapprovingly. "Don't stir up drama, Hisao. If I see her, I see her. We are both adults; I think we can handle a bit of awkwardness."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to stir up anything. It just sounded like something you may be concerned about."

"It isn't a big deal. I'll just keep my head down."

"Hisao and I had a thought while we were driving up…" Hanako says quietly, out of the blue. "Lilly, if you wanted… we thought you may want to go into town and see if the Shanghai is still open…"

Lilly smiles politely, not taking much time to think on it. "Oh! Well, that does sound like fun, once we've finished at the reunion."

Hanako leans slightly over the table to face Shizune, smiling sheepishly. "In that case, Shizune… if you wanted to avoid any… awkwardness, you and Hideaki could come with us…"

"Ha! They are just dragging you around by the ear tonight, eh, kid?" Akira blurts out with her mouth full, earning a surprised smile from Hideaki.

"I consider it a brotherly act of charity," he replies, adjusting his glasses in a distinctly Shizune-like fashion.

He allows himself a few seconds to look smug before remembering to sign Hanako's offer to Shizune, which she immediately waves off. "I appreciate the offer, but you should take the night to yourselves. There is still plenty I would like to do at the reunion."

"Oh… okay, then." Hanako's smile broadens immediately, her relief at Shizune's refusal a little too evident.

"You are still welcome if you change your mind, though, Shizune," Lilly says brightly, apparently thankful that Hanako made the offer before she did. "I do hope the Shanghai is still around. I can't think of a more fitting way to end a class reunion than that."

"The Shanghai is the weird Chinese tea shop you guys used to go to, right? I remember that place," Akira declares.

Shizune makes a broad, sweeping gesture with her hands as she signs to Hideaki. "It was extremely popular with the students in our year. Frankly, if it is still open, I would be surprised if some of the other returning graduates did not have the same idea."

Lilly gives a small shrug. "Well, it doesn't exactly have to be empty for us to enjoy a pot of tea, does it?"

"Of course not," Hanako says with a cute blush.

Akira and Shizune both widen their eyes at that response, but Lilly just smiles gently and returns to her food. Fortunately, Hanako doesn't seem conscious of anyone else's reaction, apparently because she is too distracted by the concern that someone might notice her blushing. To hide it, she keeps her face close down to the table while she eats, which is both hilarious and kind of endearing. I do my best not to make anything out of it, though, for fear of embarrassing her further.

Apparently to Hideaki's great relief, Shizune decides against prolonging the conversation to allow the both of them to finally finish eating. Even still, dinner overstays its welcome much too long as far as I'm concerned, and the sun goes down before we're finished. This is probably due to our lateness, of course, so I appreciate Shizune holding her tongue on the matter, so to speak.

When we _are_ finally ready to leave, Lilly and Shizune immediately get locked in a silly argument about who will pay for dinner. I resolve it by simply paying for Hanako's and my check as coolly as possible, which apparently makes them feel pressured enough that they compromise and just pay for themselves. I wonder briefly whether or not an argument like that is good-natured- after all, it's not like either of them would have had any problem with actually paying. As an outsider, the nature of Lilly and Shizune's rivalry is hard to understand.

We all gather around to split up in the parking lot of the restaurant. It's a full moon tonight, and the natural light is beautiful and atmospheric. Something in the back of my mind tells me I should probably stop to acknowledge that kind of thing more often.

Shizune and Hideaki briefly say their goodbyes to Akira, though despite their rush, Hideaki is still unable to escape without being assaulted by a bear hug. Once they're gone, Akira refuses to say goodbye to us, insisting that we will meet up again some time later in the week. Considering her extremely busy schedule, I think that's touching.

And then it's just the three of us. Lilly can't drive, and I already drove Hanako up here, so I guess that makes me the designated chauffeur for the evening. No doubt there will be plenty of alcohol at the reunion, so I hope that the promise of tea- and the champagne that Lilly's already drunk- keeps Lilly and Hanako from drinking too much, as they… seem to enjoy doing in each other's company.

Before long we are well on the road to Yamaku, and with the sun now down I regret letting Shizune and Hideaki drive separately from us. The city is confusing and difficult to navigate, and I have to focus most of my attention on it while Lilly and Hanako make chit-chat. It's nice to give them the opportunity to catch up a little though, and I don't mind being left to my own thoughts for a while.

Eventually we do find our way to the entrance of the school, and after a few minutes of searching for a parking space we make our way through the old gates and onto the main grounds. Hanako spots a sign directing us to the cafeteria, and Lilly takes her arm as the three of us set off down the path.

Yamaku's campus is breathtaking under the light of the full moon- at least, as far as I can tell, anyway. It's too dark to make out the details of anything. Even still, it's enough to make me regret all the time I spent shut indoors as a student here. Hanako catches me starting to trail behind and touches me gently on the arm to get my attention, smiling affectionately. In the moment, I nearly make a comment about how beautiful the moonlight is, but Lilly's appropriately blank expression sobers me. I know she doesn't want me to hold back my speech around her, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

We trail into the closest building and make our way to the cafeteria, the three of us in a row. Hanako and Lilly standing slightly behind me, I force open the double doors and am immediately taken aback by the sheer volume of people standing inside.

Hanako seems equally shocked. After a moment to collect herself, she lets go of Lilly and begins fixing the hair over the right half of her face to make sure her scars are adequately covered. I think it's more of a nervous tic than anything, considering her hair looked fine before, but then I probably would have thought that whether it actually did or not.

I wander over to stand next to her, my hands in my pockets. "Wow, a lot of people showed up."

"Hm, it sure seems like it. I can't say I'm surprised; I did get the impression that it was something of a big event," Lilly says, cupping her hands together. "Is there a bar? I believe the invitation said something about that."

"What, didn't you have enough to drink at dinner?" I ask suspiciously, glancing over people's heads to spot the bar installation on the other end of the room.

"I just had a glass of champagne. Is there really something wrong with me asking?" Lilly retorts, glowering defensively at the question.

"No, I just- I suppose not…"

"I- it's across the room, past the break in the tables…" Hanako speaks up for the first since we arrived, clearly distracted by the huge crowd.

I watch her for a few moments, though she is apparently too busy watching the floor to make eye contact with me.

I decide it would probably be best to give her a few minutes to adjust, so I say the first thing that comes to mind to buy her a little time. "I can go get us drinks if you want something."

"Would you? Oh, thank you, Hisao." Lilly brightens up immediately, clasping her hands together. "See if they have red wine. Or whatever they recommend, if not."

"I can do that. Hanako?"

Hanako looks up at me suddenly, frowning apologetically. "Same… thank you…"

"Okay. Don't move from this spot, then."

I break from the two of them and begin weaving my way through the rather tightly-packed crowd, almost shocked by the number of crutches and wheelchairs. It's been a lifetime since I graduated from this place, but all of a sudden it feels like I never even left.

The bar is shockingly nice, albeit a little out of place in a high school cafeteria. A few people are gathered around on the stools, ignoring the young bartender on his phone behind the counter.

I pat my hand gently on the counter to get his attention and raise a hand in greeting. "Hi, good evening. Do you have red wine?"

"Hm? Oh, hey man- uh, yeah." He blinks, tucking his phone into his pocket. "Just a second."

"Two glasses, please. …Well, three." He raises an eyebrow at me, and I shrug. "I'm with a party; I swear it's not just for me."

"Hey, sure thing. It's not my problem either way."

He ducks under the counter to pull out a fresh bottle, which from the looks of it is more expensive than anything I ever would have purchased for myself. It should probably suit Lilly's tastes nicely, at least.

"It looks like you have quite a selection here… have you been running up a tab?"

"Hm? Oh, no, it's not- I mean, this is all paid for already. Private donor. On the house."

"You're kidding. For this many people?"

"Well, on behalf of an organization or something, yeah. Someone who used to go here." He shrugs, pushing forward the three glasses on the counter. "I don't know what you were expecting, fancy private school like this."

"Well… it's not _that_ fancy… besides, all sorts of kids get scholarships and stuff to pay for the tuition." I take a sip from the first glass, sizing the kid up. "Didn't you go here?"

"Me? No, man, I'm just taking the work I can get. Working off debt, y'know?"

"I know."

He lets out a depressed laugh, running a hand through his hair. "Hey, uh… do you… _know_ her?"

"Know who?"

He points a finger past my head, and immediately someone taps me on the right shoulder… but there's no one there.

"Are you ever gonna _not_ fall for that?" asks a voice from my left.

I flip my head over to see a dark-skinned, attractive woman with a broad grin… and a missing hand.

"Miki! Hey!" I turn in my seat, nearly spilling the wine in my hand. "I was wondering if you came to this! What have you been up to?"

She slumps into a bar stool two seats away from me and kicks her feet up, resting them on the seat in between us. "Oh, you know. Looking for work. Surfing the internet. Day drinking. Take your pick."

The bartender snickers at the two of us and goes back to messing around on his phone. I hope they're paying him well for this; he looks ridiculously overdressed to be indoors on a summer night.

"Who is this?" chirps a high-pitched voice from behind Miki. With no warning, this mysterious person pokes her head out from behind her shoulder, revealing a short, heavily made-up woman in a low-cut blouse.

" _That_ is Hisao; he's one of my hot friends. But he's married, so don't get all thirsty over him," Miki responds dryly, still grinning.

"Oh, gimme a break," says the other woman, scooting over to the side to include herself in the group. "…Hi, Hisao! I don't know if we've-"

"Emi," I interrupt suddenly, proud of myself for immediately recognizing her considering her… unusual manner of dress. "Track star on prosthetic legs. I remember."

"Oh, you- oh. Good memory! I, uh- wow, that's kind of awkward…" Emi hums, pursing her lips and blushing slightly. Miki laughs to herself at the exchange.

"No, no, it's fine. I mostly just remember you because Miki talked about you all the time. Or, complained, rather, since you were faster than her on the track team."

"Wow! I feel like a celebrity." Emi beams with pride, taking a drink of something murky and orange.

Miki drums her fingers on the counter, thinking to herself. "Hey, Hisao, Hanako is with you, right? It's her class, too, after all."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, she's waiting for me near the entrance. Her and Lilly Satou, if you…"

"Satou? I thought she moved to Europe or something."

"She did. She's just here for the week, visiting." I stand from my stool, nodding again at the bartender. "While we're talking about it, it's really kind of rude of me to delay here while they're still waiting…"

"Cool, cool. I'd rather not spend the whole night lurking at the bar anyway." Miki stands, apparently inviting herself along. "What about you, Emi?"

"Oh, sorry, I'm here with someone," Emi says with a wave of her hand. "I am sort of… um… in the middle of something right now. But… it was really, really good to meet you again, Miki! We should do something some time!"

Miki shrugs, her smile breaking the tiniest bit. "Sure. You have my phone number."

"Yeah, I guess I do." Emi smacks her lips and stands from the bar stool, leaning on the counter with one hand. "Man, one night totally isn't enough to catch up with everyone! Tell Hanako and Lilly I said hi, Hisao!"

"Will do," I say quietly, still trying to slip away. "Have a good night, Emi."

"See ya!"

I pause to adjust my things, balancing my other two glasses of wine in my left hand. I can only imagine what a sight I am to behold right now.

"So, Ibarazaki, huh? You two seem to get along well enough," I mention absentmindedly, glancing back at the bar as we push through the crowd.

Miki shrugs, stretching out her left arm and resting it behind her head as she walks. "Oh, I dunno; I guess? Emi is one of those people that it's hard to tell with."

"I don't want to put this the wrong way, but… she seems a little… _girly_ for your social circle. The kind of person you wouldn't stay friends with."

"Tsch. Well, I don't know if we're really 'friends', per se. I wished her happy birthday on Facebook. That's about as deep as our relationship goes."

"Weird. I didn't get that impression from her."

"Eh, she's just a giggly drunk. I'm hoping she didn't drive here alone, because someone is going to need to call her a cab."

"I don't think she was drunk…"

"She was getting there." Miki shrugs. "Give her an hour."

"Isn't that kind of mean…?"

"Huh?" She puts a finger to her chin, mildly contemplative. "Well, I didn't mean it to be. Just seems like she's having a rough night, that's all. I mean, I like her perfectly fine."

"If you say so."

We find Hanako and Lilly in exactly the place I left them, although to my surprise (and relief), not waiting around impatiently for me. Instead, Hanako is in the middle of an enthusiastic conversation with a spritely blonde woman, whom I recognize after a moment as Naomi Inoue, one of Hanako's friends. Lilly stands awkwardly to the side of them, looking alienated.

"Hey, I'm back," I interject, trying to slide into Hanako's field of vision. "Naomi, it's been a while."

Naomi's face lights up when she sees me, and she immediately thrusts past Hanako to give me a hug. It's difficult for me to reciprocate it with my hands full, and, recognizing this, Hanako takes one of the glasses out of my hand to make it easier.

"Hisao!" Naomi cheerfully cries out. "Hanako has been keeping me up to date! How are you?"

"I'm fine. Things have been slow. I assume that's what Hanako has been telling you?"

"More or less." Naomi releases me and flashes a grin at Miki, who awkwardly raises her hand in acknowledgment.

I touch Lilly on the arm and hand her a glass, which she is apparently plenty eager to take. "Thank you, Hisao. Was there a line?"

"No, I was just catching up with a friend. Do you guys remember Miki Miura?"

"Long time, no see, guys," Miki says with a grin, which immediately disappears when she sets her eyes on Lilly. "…Er, sorry."

Predictably, this irritates Lilly, who shuts her eyes and sighs. "It's okay, Miki; please don't change your speech on my account." She opens her eyes and takes a sip of wine, apparently approving of its quality. "I didn't know the two of you were friends."

I shrug, not that it makes any difference. "I don't know; we didn't really get to know each other that well until after you moved."

"Oh. Of course, of course." She makes an opaque frown, cupping her glass with both hands.

"I was wondering, where exactly do you live, Lilly?" Miki asks. "Scotland or something, right? The countryside is supposed to be beautiful there."

Everyone cringes at once at that, actually earning a blush from the usually-unflappable Miki. Lilly isn't bothered about the faux-pas, though, which she makes very clear.

"Scotland is right. And it _is_ beautiful, so I'm told, of course. Where I live, when the weather is nice, it is a good spot for taking walks. That may just be because it's further from the city and bustle than here, though."

"That's so cool. It's good to get some fresh air every once in a while."

"I couldn't agree more."

Miki smiles half-heartedly, embarrassed. Naomi looks noticeably more uncomfortable than she does, though, being one of those people that can't stand awkward silences. Hanako calls her 'social', but I've always used 'neurotic'. Two sides of a coin, I guess.

"Where's the rest of the newspaper gang?" I ask after a moment, looking over Hanako and Naomi as they stand in a pair. "It just doesn't look natural with just the two of you standing here."

"Beats me," Naomi says with a shrug. "We didn't coordinate. I'm not sure how many people came… although I _do_ know that Natsume is on holiday somewhere."

Hanako makes a startled expression all of a sudden, remembering something. "Oh, Naomi, do you have her email? I… wanted to get in contact with her, but…"

"Huh? Yeah, sure! Gimme your phone; I'll write it down."

With a passive nod, Hanako passes her phone to Naomi, who begins furiously tapping Natsume's information into it.

Lilly touches a hand to her face, smiling warmly. "It's so nice that you're all still able to keep in touch. I feel like I have all these friends that just dropped from the face of the planet after graduation."

"Yeah, they dropped into the hell that is adulthood." Miki laughs loudly at her own joke- much more than Lilly does, at least. "Careers. Marriage. _Kids_." She fakes a shudder.

"Well… yes. That was sort of my point. People's commitments tend to get in the way."

"It's not always a bad thing," Hanako adds with a shrug, taking a small sip from her glass. "Lots of people are better off now than… they were back then."

"Eh, different strokes for different folks." Miki shrugs again, smiling unapologetically.

"Really? You haven't even _thought_ about getting married?"

"Hell no. Not me."

Naomi smiles at Miki's enthusiasm, glancing between Hanako and me for a second. "No marriage. No children. No career. That's pretty untraditional."

"I'm not a traditional person." Miki bites her lip, catching herself. "Well, I don't know about 'career'- I mean, I certainly wouldn't object to a salary or anything- but getting tied down? No thank you."

"You're a free spirit," I laugh.

"Sure, whatever gets my parents off my back about it."

She sighs roughly, throwing her head back. She said it like a joke, but I get the impression this is something she is actually having difficulty with. Her parents are pretty normal, from what I remember of them… I wonder if Miki is struggling more than she's letting on. It's probably none of my business.

Before anyone can come up with a suitable response, all the noise in the room is abruptly interrupted by awkward microphone feedback. My attention jolts to the set of tables closest to us, where an oily looking man in a sweater vest stands fidgeting with a microphone. "Uh, hi- uh, hello everyone… good evening."

"What the hell is this?" whispers Miki somewhat loudly.

"Someone is giving a speech," says Lilly. "Shizune mentioned something like this to me earlier."

"…Er, so, thanks for coming out," he continues. "I didn't teach when you all went here ten years back, so… I know you all probably don't much care to hear from me, heh… heh heh…"

He wipes sweat off of his forehead and adjusts the microphone. He's so awkward that it makes me uncomfortable just to listen to him speak.

"Uh, s-so, anyway, we just wanted to take the opportunity to reflect on things, uh, a little bit. I- uh, we got in contact with one of the graduates from your year, and I know he has a speech prepared; just a little something to, eh… to do that. So I don't want to hold that up any longer. Without further ado, um… Kenji Setou, everybody. I'm sure many of you remember him… so…"

Right on cue, a scrawny man in a bold white tuxedo slips into the foreground, and he has a muffled exchange with the man in the sweater vest.

"Kenji… Setou…" I repeat quietly. Hanako shoots me an amused glance, but I'm too distracted to address her.

Of all the people they could have chosen…

The tuxedo man- black, slicked back hair and frameless glasses… I suppose it must be Kenji, but the dissonance is hard to get over.

"Thanks, thanks; alright, take a seat, buddy," Kenji laughs, patting the sweater vest man on the back and moving further from the door. "So, yeah, hi, everyone. I'm Kenji; you may remember me, you may not. Either way, welcome back to Yamaku. I'd say you all look well, but according to my optometrist I think that would probably just be a 50/50 guess."

Most of the room chuckles at his joke, which is more disorienting than funny. As I remember, he didn't even seem to acknowledge having vision problems most of the time, so either he's made some serious social improvement or he's playing some kind of long game to infiltrate the system. I'd bet a lot of money on the latter.

"I know what you're all thinking," he declares with a dismissive hand wave. "What's with this asshole in the suit? Why are we trapped here listening to this? Nobody came here for a lecture, right? We graduated so we could be done with them." He shakes his head dramatically, chuckling to himself. "Well, this is only going to take a couple of minutes; I know we're all still catching up. I just want to make a little statement, maybe create a little perspective. Because this is about more than just catching up, isn't it? This isn't just some party. And God knows we don't need an excuse to get drunk with our friends."

He holds out his hand, and the sweater vest man passes him a bottle of water, which he takes a long drink from. "No, no, there's _meaning_ behind this, right?! This _represents_ something. Something more than, 'look, we're all still around.' We didn't just graduate from high school, we graduated from _Yamaku_. And that means something." He takes another drink. "Alright, alright, do me a favor. I want you to picture, just for a second, your first day at Yamaku. It's something I'm sure everyone can remember, right? Does an image strike you? There was- _is_ \- an atmosphere here, a distinct one. No matter what your background is, no matter how you ended up here, there is a reaction that I'm sure we can all share. Canes, and dark glasses, and bandages, and prosthetics. It's a strange feeling to become a part of a place like that. Even if you yourself are 'healthy', so to speak, you became _enculturated_. It's the structure of this place. It's how engrossed you felt in everyone's health, and in trying to pretend to be 'normal'. For some, it was new, and for some, I'm sure it had followed you your whole life. But it was there, right?"

He shrugs and takes another sip of water.

The funny thing is, whether he's bullshitting this or not, he's not wrong. As he talks, I find myself more and more fixated on Hanako. She keeps fidgeting, insecurely fixing her hair like she has something she needs to hide. It hurts to watch, just a little. I wish we weren't in such a public space right now.

"Now think on your first week," Kenji continues loudly. "Your first month. The people you met. People that you're probably surrounded by right now!" He does a broad gesture with his arms. "How long did you spend thinking about all that other nonsense before you had to start stressing out about a test, or getting to club meetings, or making friends? Think about how quickly it turned normal for you. You may have had to go to the nurse every day. You may have had to take three dozen pills before every meal. Who knows? But that's got nothing to do with your memories of this place, or of your education, does it? You _did_ make those friends, you _did_ take those tests, and at the end of the day, you got along fine. And here we are, ten years later, and, well, damn, there's canes and dark glasses and bandages and prosthetics here, too, but that's got nothing to do with it, does it? That's not why we all came tonight."

He shakes his head a little neurotically and hands the water back, gripping the microphone with both hands. "Okay, where am I going with this…? Listen. They called me up and asked me to give a full-fledged speech. They wanted me to talk about my organization and the charities it gives to. Rattle off names, do some gloating. They wanted me to talk about the kids I'm giving a second chance, because those charities are paying their tuition here. But I thought that would miss the point. 'Cause, shit, who am I giving a second chance? Who is Yamaku giving a second chance, for that matter? That's not what this reunion is about. Not second chances. It's not about making up for our 'problems'. Playing catch-up. It's about… adapting."

He sighs loudly into the microphone, leaning back on an unoccupied table. Dramatically removing his glasses, he makes a serious face as though to seem down-to-Earth. "I don't want people to look at my achievements and say, 'Wow, look at how Kenji overcame the odds. Look at how much a Yamaku kid was able to accomplish.' No, that's the wrong mindset altogether. Because, say what you will about what I've done with my life… the real accomplishment is one that everyone here has done. I _adapted_. I'm a part of the world. A regular guy. It's not because I got a second chance, and it's not because I played catch-up. It's just because… I _adapted_. And everyone here has done that. That's what we should be commemorating tonight. Commemorate all the little things in your life you have to be proud of. The _normal_ things. Your husband or wife. Your kids. Your career. That's the point of this. Be glad that Yamaku gave you the space to do it, but don't give anyone credit for what you've done. Because you adapted, too. _That_ is the point of this. And the only thing I want to do is make sure everyone here realizes that."

He puts his glasses back on and takes a dramatic pause. I'm clapping along with the rest of the crowd without even realizing what I'm doing. Was I just emotionally moved by Kenji? I think I need another drink.

Hanako is going to be alright, of course. She always is. That said, I hope she took some of this to heart. I really _am_ proud of her- if there's anyone in this room that should be commemorated for adapting, it's Hanako. It's almost ridiculous how much I admire her for that, come to think of it.

Huh. That's a nice feeling. I should tell her that more often.

Hanako doesn't look at me. Apparently she is lost in thoughts of her own. I think I'm really starting to sympathize with her desire for a bit more privacy.

Kenji throws up his hands guiltily at his applause, chuckling to himself. "Okay, okay, that's my cue, right? Yeah, my fault for saying 'a couple minutes'. Fine, fine, I'll just say this. It's a beautiful night out, so if you want to get some air, the grounds are completely open for the rest of the evening. High elevation here, so it's good for your lungs. And if you're worried about students… well, most of the kids are gone for the summer, but if you see one, just give 'em a dirty look and tell 'em it'll be their turn next decade." He raises an arm to gesture toward the bar. "Enjoy the open bar; that's totally on me. Be nice to the poor kid, he's been in that suit for four hours now. Aaaand… that's all. Have a good night, everybody!"

So Kenji is the one that paid for the bar. …Well, whatever scheme it is that he's planning, I hope it works out for him.

The lights flicker back on over the rest of the room as the sweater-vest-wearing man takes the microphone back from Kenji, tapping on the mic and letting it screech through the speakers again. After a few minutes of getting back to normal, everyone gathers up again and gets back to fraternizing, though I notice a handful of couples heading out the double doors, presumably at Kenji's recommendation to walk around the campus.

"Hm. Kenji Setou. I remember him," Lilly says quietly. "He was always nice. Good for him, having his life work out like that."

"Yeah, crazy, isn't it? I always thought he was a weirdo," Miki replies. "And yet here he is, making everyone else look bad. Life is funny like that."

"It really is."

Lilly fidgets with her empty glass, apparently distracted by something. I take it from her hands as gently as possible.

"Anyone else getting a little bit stifled by the crowd?" I ask, trying to transition as smoothly as possible. "People are starting to move outside…"

Hanako looks up at me for the first time since Kenji stopped speaking, excited. "Do you want to go into town?"

Miki raises an eyebrow at her. "Town? You guys are heading out of here?"

"J- just for a while. We were going to see if the Shanghai is still open…"

"Oh! Neat. Let me know if it is; I love that place."

"You're welcome to come, if you want… Naomi, too…"

"Nah, not tonight. It's getting kinda late…"

Naomi nods sternly, her face exaggeratedly regretful. "Thanks for the offer, Hanako, but I'd rather not stray too far. I- er, I'm kind of tied to a designated driver…"

"Oh, well… that's okay, too." Hanako flashes a tiny smile, just enough to save Naomi from embarrassment.

Lilly clasps her hands together, her expression blank. "You want to go so soon? I feel like we just got here. I suppose we did come a bit late…"

Hanako and I, having the same thought, exchange a brief glance.

"It would be better to go sooner rather than later, don't you think?" I reply.

"You're right. Best we are able to come back early. I wanted to have a few moments with Shizune and Hideaki, if possible."

"Really? Why's that?"

"Oh, I just… I feel like I should make plans with her. I want to get the chance to say a proper goodbye this time."

She bites her lip. To be honest, I have no idea how to respond, and I never like injecting my personal thoughts on their relationship. Judging from Hanako's silence, I assume she has relatively the same feeling.

"Well, in that case, I guess this is goodbye for now, huh?" Miki interrupts, jabbing me on the shoulder. "Want me to return those glasses for you, Hisao? I was thinking about getting something to drink myself…"

"Oh, thanks." I pass them into Miki's outstretched arm, and with finesse that can only come from years of practice, she balances all three of them in the fingers of her right hand.

"I'm right behind you, Miki," Naomi says wryly, ambushing Hanako with a hug before turning her back. "Hanako, gimme a call sometime! We don't hang out enough."

The proposition, despite being basically just a formality, makes Hanako smile with genuine appreciation. "Sure; I'd love that."

"Great! See you, later, guys!"

"Hm… it was nice to meet you, Naomi. Miki…" Lilly calls out as they walk away, uncharacteristically quiet.

Hanako frowns anxiously, studying Lilly's guarded expression. There's nothing to make of it, though, as far as I can tell.

"I haven't gotten to meet many of your friends," Lilly says after a brief silence. "Are you close?"

"I'd like to think so," Hanako responds cautiously. "As close as we can be…"

"Hm." Lilly's face softens into a pretty smile.

It's kind of frustrating- her layer of formality sometimes feels like a suit of armor, protecting her from people who want to know what she's thinking. It seems like something is wrong, but she keeps me just uncertain enough to stop me from saying something about it… for all I know, she's just still recovering from jet lag.

Without further ado, Hanako takes her arm, and the three of us make our way onto the cafeteria and back onto the campus grounds. After an unreasonably long search through the dark finally sets us through the gate in the right direction, we set off down the hill on the route to the Shanghai.

It's funny how, even after all this time, the little things like this still feel so familiar. Somewhere in the back of my mind, there's a hapless teenager that is still expecting to buy his groceries from a convenience store. The nostalgia is overpowering.

The walk is a little more of a strain than I remember, or at least than I'd like to admit- I know I should really be taking better care of myself. I guess it wouldn't hurt to take more walks, hard as it is to find the motivation sometimes. It would certainly make Hanako happy to know I was bothering with it, if nothing else.

Once we actually get onto the road in town, navigating becomes much easier, as the walk is dotted with streetlights all the way down. There are a few people out and about, but for the most part it's quiet and lonely out here, a clear reminder that this is definitely a good distance from the city. I like it better like this, though.

"Do you remember exactly where the Shanghai is?" Lilly asks, her expression still enigmatic.

"Mhm, not too far down," Hanako says absentmindedly, her eyes trailing up the road.

It's a familiar place- very familiar indeed, even compared to the rest of the road.

"You know, this is where Hanako first kissed me." I take a second glance around to affirm it.

Lilly laughs out loud with surprise, raising an eyebrow. "Is that so? Where _Hanako_ kissed _you_?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, _we_ kissed, but _Hanako_ -"

Hanako immediately turns beet red, not that it matters, as I'm the only one that can see her. "Hisao…"

"Yeah, it was right along-"

"-oh, gosh, Hisao-"

"-right along here. What? It's not that embarrassing, Hanako. I think it's kind of romantic."

"It sounds like an interesting story," Lilly goads.

"For another time…" Hanako says hurriedly, though unable to hide her grin. "At least let us sit down first…"

I tug Hanako gently on the arm to direct her attention, taking a few steps. "Fine; well, the Shanghai should be at the end of… so… oh…"

Lilly's face sinks, her earnest smile fading. "Oh… what?"

"Oh… it's gone."

"…Oh…"

"Wow, that's… too bad…" Hanako murmurs, suddenly taking a depressed lilt.

The building that used to be the Shanghai sits at an awkward crossroads between the other tiny storefronts. There's nothing in the space; just a small, empty, abandoned shop. I don't know why, but it's sad to look at. I knew the shop might not still be around, but the idea bothers me now a lot more than it did before. It's all still so familiar, which makes it sort of melancholic.

We stand in front of the abandoned storefront for a few minutes, having not made any plans in case the place actually did turn out to be closed.

Eventually this gets a little tiresome, and I take a glance further up the road around the corner. "Well… is anyone still in the mood for tea?"

"If it means a place to sit down, then sure," says Lilly.

"There's a Starbucks up the road."

"Well, that's a little prosaic, but I suppose it…"

"…sounds comfortable," Hanako finishes.

She takes a breath and sets off past me, leading Lilly behind. Like any coffeehouse chain, it's lit twice as brightly as any of the surrounding storefronts, making it pretty easy to spot along the road. We don't waste any time getting inside, as I think the other two are as tired of walking around as I am by now.

To my honest surprise, we aren't the only ones to get in line at this hour, and the store is populated by two small gangs of early-twenty-somethings. College students like their coffee, I guess, weird as it is to me that anyone would actually want to drink it late at night.

Rather than a pot of tea for the table, we end up with three drinks in paper cups. Less nostalgic, maybe, but it's practical, at least. I order some weird thing with cinnamon and vanilla in it. It tastes more like dessert than tea. It really is a shame to see small businesses die out, although I guess the Shanghai never really did attract enough customers to stay open this long.

We seat ourselves at a few chairs in the corner of the store, just by the window.

"Well, not exactly what I had in mind," I sigh, "but it's…"

Hanako flashes me an affectionate smile, making direct eye contact. "It's close enough."

"Sure."

Lilly smiles placidly, opening the lid of her tea to help it cool. I wish I knew what she was thinking about right now.

Well, now that it's just the three of us…

"Is everything… alright, Lilly?" I ask tentatively, trying to play it off casually.

She looks alarmed by the question nonetheless. "Hm? Why do you ask?"

"You seemed like something was bothering you earlier. You weren't really acting like yourself."

"Oh, no, I don't think so… not really… I've just had a lot on my mind. And I'm a bit tired."

She smells her drink cautiously, making some kind of face at the scent of it, before returning the lid to it.

Hanako frowns a little, suddenly cognizant of my concerns. "What have you been thinking about?"

"Oh… the trip. And what I'm going to do next. And… I have some work to get back to once I return."

"It must be nice to get time off for the summer."

"It is, though I have to ration it carefully. There's plenty I need to prepare for before the next trimester gets started, and I'm a little more behind than I'd hoped right now."

"Hm."

Lilly raps her fingers along the side of the cup, biting her lip like she's refraining from talking about something. I take a sip of tea, which actually tastes pretty good once I start to get used to it.

"Hanako, Hisao… do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

Hanako furrows her brow, giving me a serious look. I shrug, having no idea what to expect. "Of course not; go ahead…"

"Have the two of you thought about children?"

I choke on my tea, playing it off as coolly as I can, hopeless as that is. Hanako giggles at my awkwardness, but it seems to genuinely concern Lilly a little.

I open my mouth to dismiss her question, setting down my tea, but Hanako preempts me.

"Mm… yes," Hanako says quietly, smiling impishly.

Thankfully I'm not drinking anything, because that time I almost certainly would have actually choked.

I give Hanako as puzzled of a look as I can muster. "Er- we…"

"Oh, goodness, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to bring up something that might start a conflict," Lilly says hurriedly. "It was just something I was curious about."

"No, I mean, we've talked about it… _a little_ ," I emphasize. "But… I… we _definitely_ haven't made any plans to… to do anything like that…"

Hanako shakes her head, apparently quite concerned about my reaction. "No, no, of course not… I just meant… it- it's come up before…"

"Purely hypothetically. Because I definitely don't know if that's something that- that we-"

"No, of course, we don't know if we're… ready for that… yet…"

Lilly fails to suppress a laugh, covering her mouth politely. "Please, please, I'm not asking you to come to any life-altering decisions over tea. It was just a meaningless question."

I take another sip of my tea, hopelessly embarrassed. "Can I ask- er… why do you ask?"

"I'm not sure, really. I thought the two of you might be coming to that kind of decision… I'm feeling a bit sentimental, I suppose. Like I said, I've had a lot on my mind."

Hanako rubs her arm nervously. "About… us…?" Her expression harkens back to the conversation we had in the car on the drive to the restaurant.

"Oh, about everything. Yamaku, and Japan. I've just been thinking about things." She sips her tea gracefully, still completely unfazed.

"It just, um… seems like an odd question," I say.

"I'm sorry if it was alienating. I was just thinking that you seem very happy together, and it made me wonder whether that was part of it. It's something that _I_ think sounds nice, so I was thinking it might be nice for the two of you."

Hanako thinks on this seriously for a moment before coming to a decision. "…That's sweet."

"Is… that something you and Roy have been thinking about…? Children…?" I ask cautiously.

"Oh, no, certainly not Roy and me," she laughs. "No, I just meant it sounds nice to me in a general sense… I'd like to have something more… permanent… in my life. Do you know what I mean?"

"Sure." I sip my tea, trying to read Lilly's expression. "Is that what was bothering you?"

She frowns thoughtfully, taking a few moments to drink. "…I think that… maybe I'm a little bit jealous."

"Jealous? Of what?"

"I just know how comfortable and happy you both are around each other, and how you depend on each other. You're very secure. And… I am a little jealous of that, I think." She closes her eyes and blushes slightly, laughing self-consciously. "Oh, it sounds so childish to say it out loud like that…"

"What about Roy, then…?" Hanako asks, fidgeting in her seat.

"Roy is… a _wonderful_ person, but I don't know if I really think we have a future together, in the long-term. Our lives aren't really lined up at the moment."

"Lilly, you're crazy if you don't think you can find someone you'll be happy with," I say with a small shrug. "You're a wonderful person, too, you know."

"Thank you, Hisao. But I'm not really worried about that. It's just that… I wish I were able to keep my life on track a little better." She pauses for a moment. "Every time I come back here, I find myself wondering what things would have been like if I had stayed in Japan. It's not the right way to think about things, and that's what makes me uncomfortable, I think."

Hanako frowns solemnly. "Do you regret it…? Moving…?"

"Regret it? No, absolutely not. It's not right to think back on decisions like that with regret. For better or worse, this is where I am now, right? And I have so much to be thankful for in my life right now."

"That's a good way to think about it…"

"I just think that it is important to be secure. I feel like I have too many things up in the air right now. It bothers me not knowing what my future is going to be like. So I think that's the reason I like being around the two of you so much. You have that. Maybe it gives me something to aim for?"

She smiles faintly, a little troubled and a little happy at the same time. That seems to be the whole tone of the conversation, come to think of it.

"Hisao and I were talking earlier," Hanako says quietly. "I may be able to come up and visit you in Scotland for a little while, if you wanted to do that…"

"Really? Is there any particular reason?"

"Just that it doesn't seem right that you're always coming down to visit, and we never come to see you instead…"

At that, Lilly folds her hands on her lap, suddenly smiling broadly. "It impresses me sometimes, how concerned you are about tending to my feelings, Hanako."

"I… I just thought that it might be a nice thought."

"Of course it would be nice. But don't do it because you think you are obligated to." She hesitates for a moment. "Besides, if it _is_ something you wanted to do, you should both come up together. I would be happy to help pay for-"

"Lilly, you really don't have to do anything like that," I interrupt suddenly, trying to stop her unreasonable generosity.

"Well, of course I don't have to. I want to. Shouldn't that be enough?" Lilly raises her cup to her lips again, amused with the two of us. "Your friendship is important to me. That's all there is to it."

Hanako glances between Lilly and me for a few seconds, looking as happy as I've ever seen her. It's a truly heartwarming moment, if a slightly surreal one.

One of the gangs of kids shuffles out of the place for too long, and the building quiets down a little. I finish my tea, though admittedly that's using the word 'tea' loosely.

I have a good view of the night sky through the window next to where I'm sitting. It makes me especially nostalgic for some reason.

I can't help but notice how comfortable it is in here. And how comfortable Hanako is, as well. It's one of those serene moments that you have to take care to appreciate.

It's a funny thing.

I've been having a lot of those lately.


	4. Delaying The Inevitable

_5:00_.

My wrist watch buzzes shrilly, and I smack the off button almost instinctively. I've come to associate that alarm with this tiny corridor in the apartment building, considering how often I'm here at five o'clock.

I reach 615 at the end of the hall and lean against the door for a moment, shifting the small bag of groceries in my arms to allow me to knock on the door.

I do, but get no response in return.

"…Rin!"

Nothing.

I knock again, louder this time.

"Rin, I know you're home! You could at least say something!"

Still nothing.

"If you're not going to- oh, screw it. Alright, I'm coming in! Hope you're dressed!"

I fish through my pocket and pull out Rin's key, fidgeting to get the key into the lock with my free hand. The door creaks open, and I am greeted by the old-but-familiar scent of paint and stale coffee.

"You know, we don't have to go through this every time!"

Still no response.

The main entrance, normally bright with natural light, is dark and shady. I realize as I set down the grocery bag in the kitchenette that all the curtains are shut. As in, every curtain in the entire apartment.

It's puzzling, but hardly the strangest thing I've seen walking into Rin's place in the afternoon. My hands in my pockets, I make my way to the entrance to Rin's bedroom, finding the door already open a crack. I push it open the rest of the way and am greeted by a familiar sight.

Rin lies face-up on the floor, parallel to the bed- fully clothed and fully conscious, but in an almost hypnotic trance. She doesn't even react when I step into the room.

I flicker on the overhead light, and she flinches at the sudden intrusion on her personal darkness.

"So, what's this? What did I walk in on?" I ask wryly.

"I was thinking," Rin says quietly, still lying unmoving on the floor.

"Oh yeah?" I loom over her, hands square on my hips. "What were you thinking about?"

Now that my face is directly in her line of vision, she finally gives up and makes eye contact with me. "The ceiling is funny. Have you ever noticed?"

I'm not sure if that's a response to my question, or if she's changing the subject. It could easily be either.

I look up at the ceiling, which I have never paid much attention to. "Funny how?"

"It's all bubbly. Like beer foam. Or sea foam. Or… I dunno. Foam foam."

"It's a popcorn ceiling. Do you remember what the guy said when we first looked at this place? It's stucco, or something," I move away, propping myself up on the bed with a knee so I can feel the texture of the ceiling. "It's a western architectural thing. They blow up little air bubbles all over it to hide the imperfections in the plaster."

"Oh… that's too bad. Maybe the ceiling looked nice before."

"It looks nice now, though, don't you think?"

"Hmm." She squints a little, sitting up and leaning against the foot of the bed so that she can more easily stare at the ceiling again. "It looks like clouds."

"Probably what you liked about this place, huh? You'd kill to look at the clouds all day."

She half-nods. "Maybe. It would depend on who I had to kill."

"Just any generic person."

Frowning thoughtfully, she pauses for a second before coming to a conclusion. "I'll have to think more about it."

I stand from the bed, walking across from it and slumping onto the floor to sit across from Rin. "Did you hear me calling? I waited at your door for you to invite me in."

She snaps her head down suddenly to look at me. "I heard you."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I knew you'd come in even if I didn't. And I was in the middle of thinking."

"Fair enough."

Squinting, Rin focuses on my face, but doesn't say anything.

"So. I've been thinking about something, too," I continue, waiting for a response.

She tilts her head to the side a little, but remains silent.

"Have you heard from our landlord yet?" I ask tentatively. "I talked to him last week. He wanted to know whether I had plans to renew the lease on my apartment."

"I did talk to him, but he didn't say anything about that." She takes a breath, apparently making a great effort to recall the conversation accurately. "He wanted to fix my sink."

"Your sink is broken?"

"No, but it _was_ broken, before he sent a plumber in. Now I am supposed to watch that space to make sure that mildew doesn't grow there."

"Has any?"

"I don't think so. But I also don't think I know what mildew looks like."

She bows her head, evidently contemplating mildew quite seriously. I smile at her, which she only barely seems to register.

"This place is messy," I say quietly, sliding slightly closer towards Rin on the floor. "And poorly maintained. And small."

She nods, just a little bit.

It's pretty obvious that she knows where I'm going with this, but I continue anyway. "You could afford better than this. You still have a _lot_ of money left over from the commissions."

She closes her eyes, letting out a tired, drawn-out breath. "Don't talk about the commi-"

"'Don't talk about the commissions.' I know. Well, you're too late, Rin, because I'm already talking about them."

Her eyes flicker open, and she cranes her neck up to make eye contact with me. After studying my face for a few moments, she nods again. "I guess I can't argue with that."

"Stashing your money and pretending it doesn't exist isn't going to make your past go away."

"It can help me not think about it," she says with a pained frown.

" _Or_ you could just spend it. You can get a nice place. You won't have to think about it then, either."

She raises an eyebrow, leaning her head back against the bed. "And then you can move in with me, right?"

"Is that an offer?"

She throws her head forward suddenly. Her hair falls cutely over her face, and she doesn't seem to care enough to fix it. "I'm still thinking about it."

"Well, _I_ haven't _stopped_ thinking about it."

I pull myself closer towards her until we're nearly face-to-face, brushing her hair out of her eyes for her.

"Do me a favor," I say after a moment.

"Okay, but you have to promise to help me wash my mouth out after," she says firmly, totally sincere.

…Yeah, I'm just going to ignore that one.

"Close your eyes."

"Why? Are you going to try something? Because if you are, I want-"

"I'm not. Just do it."

"Okay." She closes her eyes and takes a breath, leaning patiently against the bed.

"Okay. Now picture this."

"I don't know what 'this' looks like."

"I'm getting to that." I take a breath, my mind running through the various apartments and housing complexes I've been sifting through lately. "So. We get a big place. A really big one, in an apartment in the city, or maybe further out. Or we buy a condo- that way we might be able to make renovations."

"Picturing," she says expectantly.

"We get a place on the top floor. One with a broad balcony out on the side, and an awning or a roof on top, so we can go out on it when it rains."

Eyes still closed, she opens her mouth to say something, but stops herself for some reason. Her breathing is a little loud, and very controlled.

"The balcony goes straight into the kitchen. Cut right through it, and you have a guest bedroom lined with windows all on one side. Or… an art studio."

She leans into the foot of the bed a little, and it briefly occurs to me that she might be falling asleep.

"Are you picturing it?" I ask gently.

"Yes."

"You can see the whole skyline from that room."

She gives a relaxed sort of smile, vaguely conscious of how close we are to each other.

"That's a private space, but… if you go out the other way from the kitchen, there's a wide-open living space in the center. And on the other end of that… bedroom."

"What about the bathroom?" she asks suddenly.

"Uh. One by the kitchen. Master bath is connected to our bedroom."

"Okay. That's important. I don't want to have to go far if I have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I tend to bump into things. And there's doors, and in the dark that might complicate things-"

"-Well, there is one attached to the bedroom. So it's not a problem. So… just picture it."

"Picturing."

I glance over Rin's head for a second, resting my hand on the bed just to the side of her head. "What is this bed? It seems kind of small… is it a king?"

"Yes. At least, that's what they told me at the mattress store, but I don't think they had any reason to lie about it."

"Well, we'll get a bigger one. You can do that, right? What can you get above king size?"

She purses her lips, thinking. "You could get a California king. It's like a regular king, but it's American, so I think that makes it bigger."

"We'll get that, then."

Her eyes are still closed; she seems committed to my little scenario. Our faces are so close that they're nearly touching, but somehow there's a kind of humor in the intimacy of it.

I move my hand off the bed and place it over the side of her head, pulling her into a kiss as smoothly as I can. She doesn't really do much to reciprocate it, though; instead she just relaxes herself and leans against me. I pull away after a long few moments.

As soon as I do, her eyes suddenly fly open, like I've done something very grave. She stares at me forcefully, her piercing green eyes filled with an uncharacteristic amount of energy. It feels very passionate, and I'm stricken by it, at least for that brief moment.

"You said you weren't going to try anything," she says matter-of-factly.

"…Sorry."

I realize that I'm still hunched over her, so I slide backwards to give her some breathing room. She continues to watch me, her breathing as firm and controlled as my own. We make rather tense eye contact for an awkward couple of seconds.

"…I didn't say you shouldn't," she adds, finally.

"Okay, well, still, I wasn't finished talking yet."

She relaxes her gaze, slumping back into the side of the bed. "Okay."

It actually is true that I had more to say, but looking at Rin I realize I've completely lost my train of thought.

I know this situation is strange- in fact, my entire situation with Rin in general is pretty strange. It doesn't bother me. I feel overwhelmingly… content, just for this brief moment.

I look her directly in the eye. "I love you, Rin."

She smiles, but her expression is muted and ambiguous. I wonder what's going on in her mind right now. I would give anything to know.

Her lack of verbal response is a little embarrassing, and I can feel myself blushing a little bit, not that it matters one way or the other. I know Rin doesn't care; she probably isn't even paying attention.

I place my hands down on the floor and lean in a bit closer towards her. "…How are you feeling right now?"

She takes a breath, staring at my collarbone while she contemplates my question. "Pretty good. I'm warm. And the weather is good. And I like this sweater."

Slumped lazily against the bed, she wags her arms under her shirt, and her free-hanging sleeves dangle in the air in front of me. I grab one of them and hold it in my hand, interested that she would choose to wear something so hot in the summer. When you're limited to shirts that you can slip on without opposable thumbs, your options are pretty scarce.

"What about in general? How are you feeling about your life right now?"

She thinks for another minute or so. "…Still good."

"Yeah?"

"I think so."

"Are you happy, Rin?"

"I… think so."

"Really?"

She closes her eyes, throwing her head back so that it rests on top of the bed. It's a hard question for her.

…She can be really disheartening sometimes.

I crawl a bit closer towards her and wrap an arm around her back, kissing her on the neck. She shivers a little bit at my touch.

"Rin…"

"I'm tired…" she murmurs.

I wrap my other arm around her, hoisting her up off the ground. With a small sigh, she leans into me, folding her legs behind my back, and nuzzles her face into my neck.

Her breathing is uneven and shaky, which is easy to tell with her pressed up against me.

I set her down on the bed, and she sinks backwards, falling like a brick onto the mattress. As soon as she does, her eyes open and she looks me right in the eye, as I'm still looming over her on the bed. Her legs fall away from me and hang off of the bed behind me.

"Were you up late, or what?" I ask quietly, trying to break the tension a little.

She makes an unreadable expression. "Couldn't sleep."

I'm probably more troubled by that than she realizes… I wonder how much my expression is letting on. Or how much she is reading into it, I guess.

I climb off of Rin and roll onto my back, lying face-up side-by-side with her. We both just lie there for a long time, staring at the ceiling.

The strange pattern of the stucco is entrancing somehow, like staring at an optical illusion. Maybe I'm deliberately making myself more susceptible to that kind of thing? I wonder how long she was doing this by herself before I arrived.

My thoughts drift back to our little hypothetical home. Talking about it with Rin just makes me realize exactly how much I want it. Though, admittedly, I think it's more just that I want some semblance of a normal life with her. Badly.

"Picture this." I raise my arms above us, making a rectangle with my hands to carve out a shape in the ceiling.

"Picturing," says Rin.

"This is the reason we get a place on the top floor. Right above the bed, in the ceiling, we put in a… skylight. Then, whenever you wake up before me, you can just lie here in bed with me and just… watch the clouds. All morning, if you want."

She lets out a quiet hum, almost inaudible- like a whimper. After considering my proposal for a minute, she asks, "What if _you_ wake up before _me_?"

"Then… I can watch you."

I turn my head to the side to look at her, and she does the same with me.

"You can go back to kissing me now, if you want," Rin says seriously.

"I know." I shoot her a look. "You know, Rin, I would prefer your _encouragement_ to your permission. If you want me to do something, you could just ask me to."

She frowns thoughtfully. "I never know what I want you to do until you do it."

"…Fair enough."

"So… are you going to do it?"

"No. Not right now."

"Oh. Okay."

She looks at the ceiling again, genuinely indifferent.

"You know, I'm here for a reason, today, Rin."

"I assumed that. You don't usually do things for no reason."

"Does anybody?"

I already know the answer to that before she responds.

"I do things for no reason all the time. Sometimes I just do things and as soon as I'm done, I have no idea why I did them. Sometimes I don't even know why I'm doing them _when_ I'm doing them. But… maybe not having a reason counts as a reason in and of itself?" She pauses, pursing her lips a little. "You should try it sometime. Maybe it will help you clear your head."

"Another time, then. We have somewhere to be tonight."

"We? You mean both of us? And not just you?"

"…That would be what 'we' means, yes. You promised me we would go out tonight. Multiple times, in fact."

"I did?"

"Yes. You did."

She squints, evidently having no recollection of it.

Honestly, I'm hurt by that. She knew it was important to me. _Really_ important, actually.

I try not to sound too upset. "Did you seriously forget?"

"When did you mention it? I probably wasn't paying attention."

"Like… two days ago. But we've talked about it multiple times. You _promised_ me, Rin."

"Sorry."

A sigh escapes me, despite my best efforts. The last thing I want is for us to fight tonight. "It's a class reunion. At Yamaku. I thought I could take you as a date."

"Oh." She squints suspiciously. "You want to go to the class reunion?"

"Obviously…"

"I guess you're right, it is obvious. But why do you want to? I thought you didn't make any friends there."

"That's not true; I just…"

I just… can't think of anyone besides Emi at the moment. I don't want to start with the most obvious person… Shizune and Misha maybe? We did schoolwork together. That counts, right?

I wonder if they still hang out. When's the last time I talked to them? Was it before or after graduation?

…Yeah, I don't think they count.

"Emi will be there," I mumble, defeated.

"Are you trying to convince me to go?"

"Well, yeah."

"But you said I already promised you I would go."

"You did. But you don't remember doing it, so I don't think the promise still stands."

"I don't know if that's true. If I did make that promise, then I must have had a reason for it, right?"

"Of course not. You just said that you do things for no reason all the time."

"That's a very good point. Very, very good point." She closes her eyes and considers my logic. "Okay, in that case, I will make the promise again. We'll go to the reunion. But this time I definitely have a reason."

"That reason being…?"

"You asked me to." She blinks once. "Come to think of it, that was probably the reason I agreed the first time, too, if I had to guess. But I don't have to guess, so I think I will leave it as a mystery."

"But you just guessed."

She widens her eyes, looking confused if not mildly surprised. "So I did. It must not be a very mysterious mystery, then."

"I've really been looking forward to tonight, you know." I finally sit up, happy to have that resolved.

She shuffles restlessly on the bed, and her leg brushes harshly against mine. "I do now. What time is it?"

I check my watch again. "Five."

"No, I was asking what time the reunion was. Or. Will be."

"Oh, uh… sometime after six, I think. We just need to show up around then. It's not strict."

"Is it formal? Because I really don't like big formal events. I don't want to run into anyone that might recognize me."

"That's kind of the whole point of a reunion, Rin."

"Hm. That is very troublesome indeed."

"Why wouldn't you want to be recognized?"

"I don't want people to ask me questions. Especially because if someone recognized me, they would recognize me from before. And then they would ask me the worst kinds of questions. Ones that I can't answer."

"You mean they'll recognize you from back when you did the commissions."

I turn over my shoulder to look at her face. She nods solemnly and forces herself up to sit next to me.

"Yeah, of course…" I run a hand through her hair and wrap my arm around her shoulder. She sighs quietly, closing her eyes again. "Well… I don't think anyone will really recognize you in that way; it's been a long time… I was just thinking of people recognizing you, y'know, from the high school class."

"I see."

My head feels heavy. I want to say we don't have to go, but after all the effort I've gone to planning the trip and arranging to have Rin there, I don't think I can will myself to make the suggestion.

Eventually I take the coward's choice and change the subject, distracted by my growling stomach. "I'm hungry. Have you eaten?"

"Yes."

"…Have you eaten in the last six hours?"

Her eyes snap open, drifting toward the ceiling again. "…I don't think so."

"I'm going to go put some food on."

"What are you going to put it on?"

"…The stove."

She nods eruditely, looking somewhere at the wall in front of her. "I thought you would say that."

"You must be psychic."

"I don't think so; I'm pretty sure that psychics discover their powers around puberty. I'm just a lucky guesser."

"Then you should play the lottery. That's a good skill to have."

"You may be right. I've never considered it before."

I pull myself off the bed and swing Rin's bedroom door open, still disoriented by the shade covering the apartment. The sunlight that pours into the living room when I open the drapes makes me cringe, even though the sun is already starting to go down.

After a minute, Rin stalks into the living room behind me, standing partially in the sunlight in the center of the room. I can't help but notice that she looks raggy, like she tends to if she has hasn't had my help to dress in a few days.

I look her up and down a couple of times. "Do you want me to help you change your shirt, or are you just planning to go everywhere in sweaters now?"

She looks down at her chest with a slight frown. "I already go most places in sweaters. Sweaters are the best kind of shirt. They are comfortable and not complicated."

"Well, do you want me to knot up the sleeves, at least?"

"…Okay."

She stands there wordlessly as I tie the ends of her sleeves, her gaze drifting somewhere out the window. She seems more… out of it than usual, but I understand that I may just be imagining it. I find that if I think about her too much, I start to worry for no reason… which is probably the worst way to be when it comes to thinking about Rin. Sometimes not thinking is the best way to think, but unfortunately I am not nearly as good at it as she is.

Thankfully, there are plenty of other things for me to think about to distract me, instead. Without even being totally conscious of it, I wander towards the kitchenette and begin absentmindedly sorting through the groceries I brought. May as well make stir-fry again, as it's one of maybe three things I'm confident I can cook without going horribly wrong somewhere.

Rin's always said she wanted to learn to cook. As long as she could do it without burning her heels on the stovetop, I would love to have someone else able to do the job. I have to admit, the longer I'm with her, the more I start to suspect there's nothing that can't be done with just your feet if you're flexible enough.

Minutes pass in silence as I go through the motions making dinner. Rin paces in half-circles in the living room for no apparent reason, only occasionally glancing over to see what I'm up to. Neither of us feels the need to speak, but I appreciate the comfortable break in conversation. I need some time to collect my thoughts right now as it is.

Eventually I end up with something halfway between bland and awful, which should make for a pretty decent dish by my standards. I don't have the energy or motivation to make it look pretty, so I just scrape the contents of my pan onto two plates and set them on the low-lying table outside the kitchen area.

I grab a pair of chopsticks and a fork for Rin out of the drawer and drop them on the table. Without waiting for me to sit, Rin rests her foot on the table and dexterously grabs the fork between two toes, shoveling food into her mouth with impressive speed. I take my time to sit and join her, resting an elbow on the table to lean on my hand as I eat. Speaking objectively, there's not a table manner between us.

"Is it any good?" I ask for some reason, even though I already know the answer, as I tasted it already.

Rin shoots her head up to look at me, her cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk's. "I fink baffer fweek."

"Swallow, then talk."

She swallows hurriedly, shrugging slightly. "I think it's better than last week's."

"Think so? I had shallots in it last week, which I liked, but I didn't bother with anything like that today."

"Of course I think so. I just said that I think so."

"I was being rhetorical."

"But you didn't ask a question."

"…Never mind."

"Okay."

She turns her head back down to the table and returns to eating. I poke a piece of chicken on my plate, which is black around the edge as the result of being visibly overcooked.

…She probably wishes I would just shut up, but I'm starting to feel too anxious to sit in silence. This is not doing any wonders for my self-confidence.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I posit, not expecting much of an answer.

"I don fwan-"

"- _swallow_ , Rin."

"…I don't want one."

"What?"

"I don't want a penny. You offered me a penny."

"Well, how about you just tell me because I want to know what you're thinking?"

"That's even less than you offered me before. And since you offered me a penny before, that's probably the lowest offer you could have given me."

"That would depend on how much value you place on my preference, wouldn't it?"

She shrugs thoughtfully, in a way that only Rin could. "…The Eiffel Tower."

"…What?"

"I was thinking about the Eiffel Tower. Among other things. Three other things, to be precise."

"The Eiffel Tower…? Like… the building?"

"Are there other Eiffel Towers that aren't buildings?"

"No, I don't think so." I take a few moments to eat, holding up a hand to make her wait for me to finish talking. "But what were you thinking about it?"

"I was thinking that it looks like it's not finished yet, which I was also thinking was pretty fitting. What's the word for a building that you build so that you can build a different building around it?"

"I don't think I really know what you're talking about."

She frowns with consternation, twirling her fork around with her foot and flinging a few scraps of food onto the floor. "It's like a skeleton for a building, except that when the building is finished you take the skeleton off and the building doesn't turn into jelly because there's also skeleton parts in the building that are different from the main skeleton. Like how bugs have their skeletons on the outside."

"An exoskeleton for a building."

"Yeah. Like an exoskeleton. Except that you can take it off, and after you do it stays together because there's also an in-do-skeleton."

"Are you talking about scaffolding?"

"I don't know. Maybe that's what I'm talking about. Is that an exoskeleton for a building?"

"Eh… sort of?"

"Then sort of that. That's what the Eiffel Tower looks like. Sort of."

"I've never thought about it before."

"They should finish working on it."

"I'm pretty sure the Eiffel Tower is a finished project, Rin."

"They still paint it."

"What?"

"They still paint it. There was a thing about it on TV. Every seven years they paint it again. It can't be finished if they are still painting it."

"You watched a TV special on this? Is that why you were thinking about it?"

"Why else would I be thinking about it?"

"I don't know. Maybe you were thinking about it for no reason."

She hesitates, then reflexively smiles. It's cute, and it takes me completely by surprise. It makes me watch her more closely, which she is clearly conscious of.

"That's true," she says eventually. "But I wasn't thinking about it for no reason."

"Because you saw a thing about it on TV."

"Exactly."

"Did they say on TV why they repaint it every seven years? I don't think it's exactly an art project; the paint wears off with time. Especially with a big structure like that, you'd expect rain and wind and stuff to ruin the paint. They're not still trying to finish it; they're just trying to preserve it the way it was when it was finished the first time."

"But they still keep going back and painting it again. They even changed the colors. You can't change the colors on it if it's already finished."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not finished until you aren't adding to it anymore. If they're going to keep adding paint to it, then it's unfinished."

Something about this argument feels completely wrong to me, but it's hard for me to think of a valid counterargument. For someone that speaks so obtusely, Rin can be a pretty damn good debater.

"Can't you go in and make changes to something that's already finished?" I ask after a minute of thought. "After all, the people that would change the color aren't the same people that originally painted it."

She squints at me as though she doesn't really understand what I'm saying.

"Say, for example, I was to, without your knowledge or permission, take a painting that you've finished and then add another brushstroke to it. I've changed it, right? But as far as you were concerned, it was finished before. So, based on what you're saying, that painting was never really finished to begin with, even though you, the artist, said it was. And it never will be finished, because anyone else could later go in and make changes of their own. So no art could ever really be finished." I pause to reflect on my own words, then nod, satisfied with my evaluation. "God, I sound like an art teacher."

"But if it was already finished…" she says slowly, struggling to find the right word. "…why do they keep going back to work on it?"

"…Because they're still getting use out of it?"

"If it is already finished, then it seems like a waste. That's just delaying the inevitable," she says harshly, with an odd change in tone that is enough to give me chills. I don't think I want to talk about this anymore.

She drops her fork on her plate, which has been cleaned for a while. I'm surprised she didn't have anything negative to say about it- she's not exactly the type to spare my feelings. Maybe I've just lowered her expectations for my cooking to the point where this is nothing to complain about.

With a quiet sigh, I grab both of our dishes and deposit them in the sink, which is starting to become crowded with dishes that I am definitely going to get around to cleaning at some point.

I take a look at myself in the mirror to straighten my clothes out. I have to admit, considering the flak I was giving Rin, I look like a mess myself. It's been a long time since I went to any sort of big social gathering outside of work. I don't really even know why… I've just had my priorities in other places lately.

Rin appears behind me in the mirror, frowning dully. "Are you okay?"

She looks like she only asked me that because it seemed like what she was supposed to do.

I furrow my brow in the mirror. I don't even really know the answer to her question, to be honest. Am I anxious? I can't put it into words.

"I think so," I say hesitantly.

"…That's good, I think."

I turn to look her in the eye, rather than stare at her reflection. There's something between us… tension, or sadness, or… something. I don't know if it's her or me- or both of us- but it feels very unnatural.

"Rin."

"What is it?"

…She narrows her eyes a little, looking dim. For some reason I find myself acutely conscious of our height difference, as Rin has to tilt her head up very slightly to look me in the eye.

I didn't actually have anything to say. I just wanted to take a moment to gauge her, I think.

I decide that my nerves are just getting the better of me and absentmindedly mutter, "Nothing," without looking away.

She seems unsatisfied, and at the same time disturbed by her inability to come up with a fitting response.

"Are you ready to go?" I follow up, brushing past her to make my way into the hallway by the entrance.

"Yes."

Without even looking down, she slips her feet into a pair of sandals strewn on the ground of the hallway alongside a few other assorted, unpaired shoes.

I open the front door, and she wanders out ahead of me, not waiting. I trail behind her as we make our way to the stairwell, fixating on the number plates in front of each apartment.

608\. That's my apartment. It's just a walk across the hall from Rin's, but it's a distance that I feel pretty strongly nonetheless.

We live on the sixth floor, and yet Rin virtually always takes the stairs. As usual, I take the elevator and beat her to the parking lot, but it's an empty victory, because the only thing I can think about is how that's exactly the kind of thing my doctor wants _me_ to do. Rin practically never leaves her home unless I make her, and yet she still manages to get more exercise than me.

So, this is it. Back to Yamaku for the first time since I graduated. Even I get the feeling this is going to be a long night, and it was my idea in the first place.

In an impressive act of balance and flexibility, Rin opens my car's passenger seat door by herself using her sandaled foot. I'm sure by now that door is so permanently scuffed up that it wouldn't even be worth paying to get it refurbished… although the paint job was pretty crappy to begin with, to be fair.

I enter the destination into my phone and place it haphazardly in my cup holder. I know that the place isn't far out from the city, which should make it a simple enough drive, but it's been far too long for me to remember anything resembling an exact route.

Rin stares out the window for most of the trip, either intently thinking about something or intently not thinking about anything- either way, it would be rude to interrupt. Small talk for the sake of small talk is inane anyway, and driving through the city requires my attention.

As it turns out, our apartment is much closer to Yamaku than I thought. Even still, though, we don't arrive until a while after sundown, which I attribute to my own time wasting. The parking lot is mostly full when we pull in, which I assume means I got the specific arrival time wrong, but seeing as we don't have anyone to meet here, I don't think it really matters.

Signs plastered to the walls point us in the right direction, and we set off towards the cafeteria in no particular hurry. Rin in particular really takes her time, gazing all around the campus with some unwarranted degree of amazement. It's too dark to see very far in front of me, and the only reason I can get around at all is the beautiful moonlight blanketing the grass.

I point nonchalantly upwards, thinking out loud. "The full moon is really noticeable tonight."

"Be wary of werewolf attacks," she advises, frowning grimly.

"Why? Have you ever been attacked by a werewolf?"

"No, but if they were going to attack, tonight would be a good night to do it."

"Hm, especially in a crowded area like this reunion…"

"A crowded area also means that there would be a lot of good people to use as werewolf bait, though."

I take a glance around, and it occurs to me how few good hiding places there are spread out over the campus. I was feeling anxious before, but you really have to put everything in perspective. When you're standing next to a person for whom werewolves are a genuine concern in the back of their mind at all times, worrying about relationships feels kind of… trivial.

"We should hurry up and find Emi, then," I add. "She's fast and she has good endurance, so she would make good bait."

"I didn't think you would say something so heartless."

"I'm just being pragmatic, that's all."

We reach the entrance of the cafeteria, which seems to be the focal point of all the noise in a mile-wide radius. I open the double doors, and Rin steps inside in front of me, planting herself firmly at the entrance and turning lazily from side to side to take stock of the crowd. There's far more people here than I would have expected for a reunion like this, and it's a bit stifling.

Rin doesn't budge from her spot. I walk up behind her, spotting the bar at the other end of the room. "Do you want a drink?"

"No."

"Yeah, me neither."

We sigh simultaneously.

I'm not sure what to do now. Rin obviously isn't going to go and socialize with me, and I wouldn't know where to begin even if she was. I can't really remember anyone from my class that well- certainly not well enough to try and make small talk. Rin's approach to parties has always been 'stand still and try not to make any noise', which is admittedly feeling pretty tempting right now. But I'm never going to find Emi just standing around, considering she's too small and short to stick out in the crowd.

"C'mon, Rin," I say gently, tugging on the end of her sweater's sleeve.

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere."

That seems to satisfy her, and she wanders off into the crowd alongside me.

A few people decide to be so bold as to smile and wave at me, which I awkwardly return. For the most part, though, people are together in their own gangs and don't pay Rin and I any mind at all. It's interesting how well Rin fits into this crowd, visually speaking, since there are so many other clearly physically disabled former students. Usually the girl with no arms draws everyone's attention, but here it's like she's invisible.

The crowd is sparser towards the back. We find a small collection of tables, most of which are occupied by people in suits and fancy clothes. My eyes wander over to the bar, where the young and unfortunately overdressed bartender is getting chatted up by one of the few women that seems to be alone here. My first thought is that it's a little bit amusingly pathetic, and then she turns her head.

And then I look down. …She's got on prosthetic legs.

I don't know whether I should feel guiltier for laughing at her in the first place or for the fact that I think it's even funnier now that I know who it is.

Then she spots me. I raise my hand helplessly, feeling awkward for not recognizing her immediately, even from behind.

"Hey! Hey, guys!" she cries out, suddenly jumping up from her seat at the bar.

In one rather graceless movement, she swerves around the counter and dashes up to Rin and I, her face both shocked and excited.

"Hi, Emi," I say quietly, trying to draw less attention than Emi seems determined to. Rin thinks for a moment after my greeting and decides to simply nod in acknowledgment.

She's beaming at first, but apparently she remembers something, and her expression immediately morphs into one of pseudo-anger. "I can't believe you guys came!"

"It was Hisao's idea," says Rin.

"Oh." Emi shakes her head, distracted. "… _You two_. You two are on my shit list!"

Rin seems completely unimpressed by this.

I do my best to look like I'm taking her seriously to make up for it. "What? Why?"

"Why do you think?" cries Emi. "Where the hell have you guys been? I've barely heard from you at all lately!"

"We've been… busy. Doing stuff."

"Oh, bull _shit_. Everyone has been doing stuff! I at least expect a Christmas card, goddammit. " She pouts, which is unfortunately quite cute and thus probably counterproductive to the point she is trying to make.

"You never sent either of us Christmas cards."

" _I don't know where either of you live!_ "

"Touché."

She crosses her arms, now looking a little more sad than angry. "I thought we were closer than just fake high school friends! I've kept in better touch with Miki-freaking-Miura, and I'm pretty sure she hates me!"

"I don't know who that is."

"She's one of my fake high school friends. Case in point."

"Ah."

"Hmph." She softens a little bit, looking over Rin with curiosity. "You guys came together, then?"

"I am his date," Rin says matter-of-factly, like she's recalling a piece of trivia.

"Coulda guessed that… you guys are cute together," she says reluctantly, just to communicate that she was almost angry enough to consider not saying it. She really is pretty awful at being mean.

Rin yawns contentedly. "Are we cute separately?"

Emi is disarmed by the question, but rolls with it. "Yes to you." She glances at me briefly and adds, "No comment on Hisao."

"Hey! What is that supposed to mean?" I ask incredulously.

"It means I'm still mad at you. Comb your hair once in a while."

"Screw you." I run a hand through my hair self-consciously. It's not _that_ bad. I hope. "…Where's _your_ date?"

"I haven't found him yet," she says with a mischievous smile.

"Did you lose him?" asks Rin.

"No, he's just not my date yet."

"Is he the kid tending the bar?" I ask, standing on my toes to look over Emi's head, which clearly irritates her. Serves her right, anyway.

"I dunno, do you think I have a shot?" She smiles confidently, puffing out her chest a little. "I think he's kinda cute."

"Kinda young, isn't he?"

"He's 21!"

"You're 29."

"Semantics."

"I thought you were swearing off men for good," says Rin, flapping her arms as though her interest has suddenly been piqued. "Or does he technically count as a boy because he's so young?"

Of course, it's not a joke, but I laugh anyway. Embarrassed and irritated, Emi throws her fists toward the floor, her face red.

"Would you two shut up?" she hisses. "When did I say I was swearing off men? I don't remember saying anything like that!"

"It's true, you did," I say with shrug. "You said you were going to swear off men for good and move to Somalia so you could finally live out your dream of being a pirate."

She thinks on it for a moment, then nods, amused with herself. "Well, what can I say? Maybe I'm just not pirate material. I was more thinking of the fun, swashbuckly kind, not the scary, AK-47y kind."

"True, you definitely couldn't scare people enough to be a real pirate."

"I- would you stop it?! Geez, with friends like these…" she trails off, failing to hide a smile. "…Hm… I've missed you guys. I wanna start hanging out again."

She frowns a bit more seriously, looking a little pensive. It makes me feel a little guilty, even though I know I shouldn't. It's not as though we've been deliberately ignoring her, after all.

"Look, I know it sounds like bullshit, but we really have been busy with stuff," I explain. "I mean… personal life stuff. It's more complicated than you'd think. But I'm sorry we haven't spoken more."

I glance over at Rin, who shrugs uselessly.

Emi just seems pleased to have an apology, and waves me off as I explain. "It's alright, it's alright! You really don't have to explain yourself. It's none of my business." She scratches her chin, leaning to the side to look at Rin. "I was just worried about you! You were in the news, you know that? And then you just kinda… disappeared. That's pretty unusual."

"That was a really long time ago; I haven't been… I haven't talked to any of the art people in a long time," Rin says uncomfortably, staring somewhere at the floor. This is one of her least favorite subjects, but I get tired of avoiding it, and despite what Emi says, I think she is owed some kind of explanation anyway. Against my better judgment, I decide not to cut in and change the subject.

"I know! _Years_ , even!" Emi puts her hands on her hips, giving a disapproving frown. "And if I had never been able to get in contact with Hisao, I'd still be worried you were out lying in a ditch somewhere."

Rin tilts her head to the side. "Well… here I am."

"Here you are." Emi purses her lips, hands still at her sides. "So does that means you're not still painting? That didn't pan out…?"

"It didn't pan out," I reply quickly. "I don't think that's really a good environment to work in."

Emi is a little stricken by that response, but rebounds quickly. "…You know, I went to one of your exhibitions, ages ago. Told all the visitors there that I knew the lady who painted them, but nobody believed me." She sticks her tongue out playfully.

Interestingly, Rin fixates on me for a moment before turning her attention to Emi, whom she then focuses on very intently. "…What did you think?"

"Uh. Oh, I dunno. I mean, it was good! Really, really good!" Emi flails her arms around dramatically to make her point, though it makes her reaction seem kind of fake. "…I mean… you know I don't really get the whole art thing, but I just think you're so talented… I'm really sorry it hasn't worked out for you."

"Why did you apologize? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I just meant that it's too bad. I really thought that… um…" she trails off, evidently noticing the hesitancy on my face. "Well, I just thought being able to paint for a living would make you really happy. I thought it was a super cool opportunity."

"You shouldn't worry about it. It isn't practical to dedicate that much energy to things you don't know that much about," Rin says coolly, after a moment of thought. "There is nothing for you to be sorry about. I'm… happier now."

…Or so she thinks?

When Rin makes a statement like that, one that should be positive, it comes off as a question, like she's not even really sure why she's saying it. Damn it, what I wouldn't give to have her figured out.

I realize after a moment that I probably look as frustrated as I am, and so immediately begin to stare at my shoes. Nobody seems to notice, but it's embarrassing nonetheless.

"I'm happy to hear that," Emi says brightly. "I didn't know you were such an optimist, Rin!"

"I didn't say anything about optimism."

Emi giggles loudly. Rin makes the same confused face she makes every time anyone laughs at something she says. There is an odd moment of dissonance between them.

I notice a few people at the table nearest us whispering to each other as they look in our direction, and it occurs to me that Emi has probably been bothering all the other visitors with her noise. I guess she's a little overexcited.

"Emi, no offense," I say gently, "but I think you're bothering people."

Predictably, she looks startled for a moment before glaring at me defensively. "What? What are you talking about?"

"I think you're making too much noise."

"I am not!" She narrows her eyes and turns to my side. "Rin?"

"You're usually making too much noise," Rin replies, closing her eyes seriously.

"…Damn. Sorry."

Trying to be subtle, she turns over her shoulder and glances at the small group of people behind her, all of whom immediately notice her. Embarrassed, she lifts a hand and waves weakly to them, which apparently prompts their interest. A well-dressed man in the front raises a hand in greeting and approaches, and Emi snaps back to face me, now filled with regret. "…I… didn't think he would come over here."

Fixing his jacket very coolly, the man slips his way into our triangle, trying not to look imposing. "Excuse me- sorry, excuse me?"

"For what?" Rin asks immediately, not missing a beat.

"I- wh- sorry?"

"What should we excuse you for?"

"…What?"

The man fixes his glasses, as though he can't believe his eyes. He and Rin stare each other down for a few moments, both utterly lost.

"Sorry, can we help you with something?" I interrupt.

"Yes! Yes, sorry." With a flourish, he pulls his hand into the pocket of his tuxedo and pulls out a small black business card, placing it delicately between two of my fingers. I shoot him a strange glance before looking at it.

Beneath a complicated logo is a word I absolutely can't make out, followed by what I think says 'Enterprises' in English, along with a few other names, all emblazoned in gold in an extremely messy cursive font. I have no idea why he gave me this or what I am supposed to do with it.

He wastes no time in introducing himself. "I'm Kenji Setou; you may recognize the name if you-"

"Pardon?"

"Er. Kenji Setou. You may recognize-"

"-Kenji?"

"…Setou."

He fixes his glasses again, looking concerned. Now that I'm looking for it, it is clearly him, but he looks so neat and well put-together that I never would have realized it without hearing his name first. It's bizarre beyond words.

"Kenji, it's Hisao! From school! I didn't know you were going to be at the reunion."

He freezes as though I've caught him in a lie. This encounter went from awkward, to strange, to surreal in the course of about five seconds.

"Hisao."

"Yes."

"…Hisao."

"…Yes."

His face slowly morphs into an odd grin, and he snaps his fingers loudly. "…Hisao!"

"…Yes?"

"Hisao! Of course! I'm sorry; I didn't recognize you at first! It's just been a long time, and there's a lot of context to these meetings, you understand, and I… er… you know…"

…He doesn't recognize me.

What.

"Kenji, did you come over here for a reason? You're sort of interrupting… these are my friends. _Female_ friends. I was in the middle of a conversation."

"Friend and female. Can confirm," says Emi, somewhat flirtatiously.

"Charmed. You would be?"

"Call me Emi."

They smile warmly at each other.

…And, time to pull the plug on this conversation.

"Kenji, I'm sorry, but we were really in the middle of something," I say brashly.

"Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I… got distracted."

He adjusts the cuff of his sleeve, smiling confidently at Emi, who just giggles girlishly in response.

Then he turns to Rin, who seems genuinely surprised to suddenly become the center of attention. "I was speaking with a few of my friends over there, and I just… couldn't help but overhear a bit of your conversation."

I glare at Emi, who shrugs guiltily.

"Alright, what about it?" I ask.

He glances back to me for just a second, then back to Rin. "Well, I don't mean to pry, but you wouldn't happen to be _Tezuka_ , would you? _Rin_ Tezuka? It occurred to me that, well, with the, uh… the…"

"The what?" Rin asks dryly.

"The… you know." He points haplessly to his forearm.

"Missing arms."

"Er. Yes."

Rin's mouth gapes a little, and she looks past him, directly at me. "You recognized my name from an exhibition I did."

"Yes, I believe I did! I'm glad it's you!" Kenji exclaims, clasping his hands together eagerly.

I glance over at Emi, who is apparently out in her own little world right now. Rin watches me desperately.

So… definitely, _definitely_ time to pull the plug on this conversation.

"Listen, Kenji, if this is about painting or something-"

"-Look, I don't mean to impose," Kenji interrupts, "but we were just having a debate about whether someone of your… stature… would be interested in coming to an event like this! They… er, all of us are big fans, especially considering you're a product of Yamaku, and I was just hoping we could take a moment of your time to-"

"Kenji!" I shout, probably a little louder than I should. He turns to me with a look of genuine shock, and Emi seems suddenly concerned that I'm going to scare him away.

"What?" he challenges.

"Rin is here as a former student, just like everyone else. She's not on display. Get lost." I take a breath, feeling a little proud of myself. I know that was probably ruder than it needed to be, but considering how Kenji is, I'm pretty sure he needed something direct like that to get the message across.

And it seems to work, as he immediately scoffs at me and fixes his tuxedo again, apparently unable to come up with anything appropriate to respond with.

Rin blinks once. I thought I did the right thing, but… for some reason she looks even more agitated than before? She steadies herself, flapping her arms once and cracking the knotted ends of her sweater's sleeves out like whips.

All of a sudden, she looks serious. Deadly serious, like she's about to go into battle. She takes a step forward and looks Kenji dead in the eye. "No. It's okay. I'll go."

Kenji seems surprised by the news, and takes a moment to sneer triumphantly at me before turning to her. "Oh, thank you so much! I promise we won't take up too much of your time." Then he marches off towards his group of minions.

Rin slumps forward a few steps to follow him, but stops when she gets next to me. She turns on her heel to face me, takes a breath, and then lunges forward and forces her lips against mine- less like a kiss, really, and more like she needs my oxygen to survive.

It's the most passionate kiss we've had in a long, long time, and I curse every god in the heavens that it had to be in the middle of a crowd at my god damn high school reunion. It also wouldn't hurt to understand why it was happening, but honestly that would probably be asking too much.

With great force of will, I grab Rin by the shoulders and pry her off of me, and she stumbles backwards, looking a tad disoriented. We make eye contact for another split second, and then she dashes off in the other direction to finish following Kenji.

I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair, winded from the whole experience.

Emi does a double take- no, a triple take- and then takes a step closer to me, looking more lost than I think I've ever seen her before. "…What the goddamn shit just happened?"

"If I knew, I would tell you."

She blinks, frowning a little bit. "Is everything alright with you guys?"

"Yeah… I mean… I think so. I don't know what that was about."

"You seem kind of anxious about something."

"…Nope."

She glances back toward Kenji's gang. Gesticulating wildly, Kenji puts his hand on Rin's shoulder and pushes her into their little crowd, no doubt harassing her with questions.

Emi turns back to me. "You guys are so freaking weird."

"So what?"

"So nothing! More power to you. I'm just saying, I don't get you at all."

"I don't think I'm that hard to get."

She puts a finger on her chin, looking over me carefully. "…Why Rin?"

"Huh?"

"Why Rin? Why'd you pick Rin?"

"'Pick'? I didn't 'pick' anybody. We just kind of… I don't know. This is what feels right."

"It's just. Back then- and I mean this in the most loving way possible- I always kinda figured Rin would… you know, stay single. Stick to herself. She's always been a certain way with people, and… but… I dunno, it seems like you really got through to her in a way nobody else has."

"I'd really like to think so."

She smiles gently at me, crossing her arms. "Look, don't get me wrong, Hisao, you were pretty cute in high school. But if there was one person I _never_ considered that you would end up with, it was Rin."

"…Are you coming on to me?"

She scoffs to hide her obvious embarrassment. "Shut up! I'm being serious."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you. You can't always explain the way you feel. Rin just makes me happy, I guess."

"I'm happy for you."

It occurs to me- very abruptly- that Emi is jealous of me. She certainly does seem very eager to hook up with someone before the end of the night, and while I am still adamant that it be _anyone else_ but Kenji, I can't help but feel bad for her. She's funny, personable, charming, and damn good-looking, too- in a totally platonic way, of course. It's hard to imagine how she could possibly be having boy trouble, and she doesn't seem to be able to understand it, either.

It's not like her confusion about Rin is unwarranted, either. I mean, just mathematically speaking, it really doesn't make sense that of the two of them, Rin is the one with a long-term boyfriend, while Emi is totally and hopelessly single. It's like a cosmic imbalance.

I feel like I should pat her on the back and say something encouraging, but that would probably be extremely patronizing, so instead I just smile awkwardly and stare at a spot on the wall, which is probably the next best thing.

"What a weird night." She takes a long sigh, thankfully ignorant of my social inadequacy. "You know, Hisao, I still remember the days that Rin and I were just a couple of innocent, bleary-eyed schoolgirls."

"Bleary-eyed schoolgirls?"

"Yeah…"

"…There were days like that?"

"Oh, sure," she says with a dismissive hand wave. "We would just sit around thinking about the future… I'd say something all cute and girly, like, 'I wish I could just find the perfect man, who really understands me,' and then Rin would say something all cute and girly, like, 'when you shake your head, your twin tails look like the fins of a large fish that's slowly trying to eat your brain.'"

"…That's a real conversation you had, isn't it?"

"Like a week after we met. Kids, right?"

Emi snickers to herself and smiles nostalgically, which makes me smile in turn. Her concern for Rin's well-being can be really touching, even if she can be a touch naive sometimes. I feel guilty for treating her like a stranger. I really should be making more an effort to be a good friend.

"Okay. You're right. I _am_ anxious about something."

She raises an eyebrow expectantly. "I thought so! If you want to talk about it, I'm all ears."

"Fine, but I need you to promise me something first."

"Sure," she says tentatively, suspicious.

"Promise you can keep a secret."

"Yes. Absolutely." She nods gravely to cement the point.

"I'm serious. I need you to stay completely tight-lipped about this. Don't make a fuss."

"I won't, I swear."

"Fine."

I glance around briefly to make sure Rin is still completely out of earshot. Emi watches me in suspense.

Then I lean in slightly, keeping my voice quiet. "I'm going to propose tonight."

She blinks once, her reaction delayed. And then…

" _Oh my god!_ "

Her sudden shriek makes me jump backwards in surprise, and the small circle of people on the other side of us, including Rin, all simultaneously turn to see what happened. It's officially a scene, the exact thing I was trying to avoid.

I glare at her incredulously. "Emi!"

"Sorry, sorry…" she says, red with embarrassment. "But… oh my god! Hisao!"

"'Oh my god' what?"

"That's just amazing! That's so great! I'm so happy for you!"

The onlookers, realizing there's no conflict, seem to mostly become bored and turn back to their conversations, to my great relief.

"Thanks, Emi. I just… I'm trying to wait for the right moment. It's really important to me."

"Do you have a plan? Gosh, this is so exciting!" She shakes her head like she's reeling from a punch, clenching her fists tightly in front of her. "Can I see the ring?"

Yeah, could have seen that one coming.

"I don't have a ring."

Her grin immediately shatters into a look of horrified disbelief. "… _What_?!"

"I said I don't have a ring. Keep your voice down."

"What do you _mean_ you don't have a ring?"

"I mean, I did not purchase a ring. There is no ring to speak of."

"How do you not get a _ring_?! Are you _kidding_ me? How are you supposed to propose without a ring?!"

"…With my words?"

"You can't be serious right now, Hisao. You need a ring. Everybody knows that."

"Seems like kind of a waste, if you ask me…"

"I- I can't even take you seriously right now. I don't- it's definitely too late to get one tonight… this is-"

"Emi, it's fine, seriously. She doesn't even have fingers; what the hell would she do with a ring?"

"I don't know! Put it on a necklace? Are you serious?! You really don't understand women at all, do you?"

"To be fair, this _is_ Rin we're talking about. She doesn't really generalize to women overall."

She thinks on that for a second. "…Alright, fair enough. But still!"

"'But still' nothing. Trust me, I thought about this already! There's no point in getting a ring. Rin would probably just want to pawn it anyway."

"…man proposed to _me_ without a ring, his ass would be on the curb…" Emi grumbles.

"Well, I'm not proposing to _you_ , now am I?"

She rolls her eyes, pouting theatrically. "Answer me this. If you're not gonna get down on your knee, do that whole bit… then what _are_ you gonna do? Don't tell me you're just gonna, like, super casually bring it up over drinks or something. 'Cause that would totally kill my excitement."

"No, I'm not. I have a plan. Don't worry about it."

"Okay. Then let's hear it," she goads, cracking a smile.

"It's none of your business."

"Then why'd you tell me about it?"

"Because you were prying."

"I was _not_ prying! You offered this information up out of nowhere."

She crosses her arms expectantly. I guess I did kind of dig myself into this one.

"You'd think it was stupid."

"Bet you I wouldn't."

"It's embarrassing."

"Hisao." She takes a long breath and glares at me disapprovingly. "You do not get to just bring up 'two of your closest friends are about to marry each other' as a throwaway conversation topic and then try to bail on it when you're pushed for details. You may as well dangle a steak in front of a starving person. That is unspeakable cruelty."

She raises an eyebrow, daring me to challenge her on this. Her uncharacteristically cold and rational approach to this puts me off just enough to get me to budge.

I glance over my shoulder and watch Rin for a moment or two before responding. "You know that little path in the woods around the back of the campus?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, there's- ah, it's stupid."

"I will throttle you, Hisao."

"…There's a clearing if you walk far enough, where they don't cut the grass. Overlooks the school. It's a really good view of the whole surrounding area, actually."

"And what about it?"

"Well, you know. Rin and I used to go up there together, when we went here, way before… things got all complicated. It's like… our spot. It means something to me… and to her as well, I think."

"See, now, was that so hard?" She smiles triumphantly, clearly amused with me for being embarrassed, which definitely can't be helped. "So that's why you wanted to do it at the reunion? 'Cause you guys met here? Man, that's really cute."

"Wild dandelions grow up there. It's kind of amazing… it's one of the most beautiful spots on campus. It seemed like the only place where it would really feel right."

"Awwwww…!"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"I hope Rin appreciates what she's got going for her." Emi nods approvingly, apparently finally satisfied with this topic. "…When you guys have babies, I want to be Aunt Emi!"

"Emi, we aren't even engaged yet, for God's sake."

"Hey, I'm just staking my claim on that territory now. I would make a _great_ aunt! It's like a personal ambition of mine."

"…Being an aunt is a personal ambition?"

"Yes, but I don't have siblings, so you guys are gonna have to do."

"Why don't you go have kids of your own?"

"There's a difference between being an aunt and a mom, Hisao. I would make a godawful mom. Never in a million years is that happening. Aunthood is where it's at. All the fun stuff without any of the responsibility."

"Gee, I sure am glad to know you're willing to make that sacrifice for us, then."

"Yep, you're lucky to have me." She pauses for a moment to appraise me, apparently still running down an endless mental list of questions. "What do your parents think about all this?"

Which is an irritating one, albeit one I should probably be concerned about anyway. "Who cares? It's not their decision; I haven't even told them my plans yet."

"Wow, really? Don't you think that might lead to a fight later? I know my mom would _kill_ me if I did something big like that without bringing it up with her first."

"It will definitely lead to a fight. They don't approve of Rin. They think she's unmotivated, and that makes her a bad influence."

"Bad influence? That's silly."

"Tell me about it."

"What about _her_ parents? Do they like you?"

"I don't know what they think of me… to be honest, I've only spoken with them a handful of times. They're sort of distant, you know? I think they're just happy that I'm around for Rin."

"That's better than disliking you, right?"

"Nice way of looking at it, I guess," I say with a shrug. "Look, there's still a lot I need to figure out from here, right? I'm trying to take it one step at a time. The family stuff can come later. I just want to friggin' marry her first."

"That's kind of sweet, if you think about it."

"That's what I think, too."

She smiles cheerily for a moment, but before she speaks again, her face sinks and she clams up.

I raise an eyebrow at her. "Emi, do you-?"

"-You're talking loud," says Rin.

…Says Rin, who is apparently standing directly behind me.

I jump with surprise, and Emi cringes as I whip around to face her. "Rin!"

"Hey," Emi says quietly.

Rin narrows her eyes a little and leans past me to look at her. "Hello."

Kenji and his gang watch us suspiciously for a few moments until they catch me looking at them, at which point they immediately get back to their own conversation. Judging from their expressions, Rin didn't give them what they wanted at all. Good for her.

"Rin, those guys… are you alright? Did you… could you figure out what to say…?"

With a start, Rin snaps back to me, staring at some arbitrary spot on my face. "Yes. …No. Yes. Wait. Something else. Hisao." She closes her eyes and takes a long breath. "Were you going to ask me to get married?"

"Oh."

Oh. Oh, shit.

I glance back to Emi, whose eyes look like they are about to bulge out of her skull. Immediately I'm pissed at her for being too loud, but that goes away quickly, considering A. this was probably my fault, and B. there are a million other, stronger emotions cluttering my head right now anyway.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. What now?

Rin opens her eyes halfway, like she just woke up. She looks painfully indifferent, especially odd considering the small panic attack I believe I am in the middle of. If I said 'no', she would no doubt believe me- but then, I hardly want to _lie_ just so I can postpone this until it's at a better time. Shit, shit, shit.

Okay, screw it.

"Wait, Rin. Give me a second," I say quickly.

She nods tentatively, making an uncomfortable frown. "…Okay."

"So. Yes."

I clench my fists, suddenly feeling like there's a swarm of eyes on me. I've never really been the type to get stage fright, but considering the circumstances…

I shake my head and look Rin in the eye again. "Yes. I was. And I was going to wait until I could bring it up in private… I had more of a plan than this, but it doesn't really matter, I guess."

She stays very still. I'm very hot; I must be blushing pretty noticeably. That's embarrassing.

I take a small step towards her, opening my arms a little. "Listen. I've been thinking about it for ages. It just seems like time. I love you so much, Rin. More than anything in the world. And with all the thinking I've done lately, I've just realized that the only thing I really want is to-"

"No. No, you can't."

"I… what…?"

"No." She shakes her head vehemently, making the eye contact she was apparently too anxious to make before. "No. You can't do that."

My face feels cold suddenly. "Just… okay, Rin, just listen, please-"

"No. No, no, no, no…"

"Rin…"

"Stop it."

I run out of words pretty quickly, and I find myself completely speechless as I watch her. She slumps her shoulders a little bit and takes a step backward, looking wholly overwhelmed.

"No, no. You can't ask something like that." She shuts her eyes painfully. "No. Never mind. I'm going. I don't want to be here."

Emi takes a step forward, and Rin opens her eyes forcefully, startling her.

"Wait. Don't," Rin commands. "I'm going. Sorry."

Breathing unevenly and looking on the verge of a mental breakdown, Rin brushes past me and storms off into the crowd, disappearing out of the double doors. Obviously my first instinct is to follow her, but I think I am physically unable to move from my current spot.

It's not what I wanted. I never wanted to corner her in public like that. It's just wrong in every conceivable way. Aside from what I wanted, even, I didn't want to do that to her.

The room seems very quiet, and it takes me a moment to realize that it's not just me- the conversation around me actually has died down, as everyone nearby is now intently focused on what just happened here. It's really just insult to injury, and I can't will myself to say anything about it.

I stay frozen there for a while, which seems fitting. After the initial shock wears off, I feel something ram into me from the side and realize that Emi wrapped her arms around me. It's funny; with her head pressed into my ribcage, she really seems especially small in comparison to me.

"Hisao?" Emi whispers. It sounds like her voice is echoing from somewhere else.

"Yeah?"

"That was…"

"I know."

"Are… you gonna be okay?"

"I don't know."

With a dramatic sigh, Emi lets go of me, shooing my confused spectators. I feel nauseous.

She shifts a little closer, tiptoeing as if too much noise will frighten me. "I wonder where she went…"

"I _know_ where she went."

"…Are you gonna go after her?"

"No. She needs space."

"Yeah, maybe…"

"Yeah."

"So, what _are_ you gonna do?"

"I don't know."

Having to do anything sounds like a lot of work at the moment.

I glance across the room, laying eyes on the bar again. A drink sounds much more enticing than it did when I first got here. "Wanna do shots? It's free."

"No," Emi sighs, "and neither do you. You don't want to get drunk right now."

"You know what? Believe it or not, I kinda do."

She bites her lip, evidently torn between scolding me and pitying me, though I'm not fond of either. "…Fine. Then I'll spot you."

"Fine."

She starts off toward the bar, tugging on my arm, and I am finally able to move my feet off the ground, though they feel like they weigh fifty pounds each. The bartender sees Emi coming and becomes visibly apprehensive, but relaxes when he notices a man at her arm. She must have been coming on pretty strong to the poor kid.

I slump into one of the stools, and Emi props herself up in the seat next to me.

She sighs and rests her head on her arm, gesturing to the bartender. "Heya. Two beers please. Something that won't send my friend home in a body bag if he drinks a shitton of it."

What an irritating thing to say.

I shoot her a glance. "That's not what I…"

She rolls her eyes at me.

…Whatever.

The bartender seems very off-put by the two of us, but complies with the request. The beer tastes like crap, which is funny because most of the stuff behind the counter looks hilariously overpriced and aristocratic.

I lift my glass in the air, raising a toast to my own failure. "You know, for a month and a half I've been telling myself that the worst case scenario was that she would just say 'no', and we would figure it out from there. But I was wrong; this is so much worse."

"How so?"

"What do you mean, 'how so'?"

"How is it worse than that? What's stopping you from figuring things out with her now?"

"I just… she doesn't even want to look at me right now. I never thought she would do something like this. I didn't think it would go like this. I never anticipated _this_."

"Well, hey, this _is_ Rin. We don't know what's going through her head, right?" Emi sighs and takes a sip of her beer, making a face at the taste of it. "You had to have been prepared for her to do _something_ weird and off-the-wall, right?"

"Don't do that. Don't talk about her like you know her better than me."

She glares for a second and throws up her hands. "Fine. You're right. Sorry. I'm just saying, nothing is ever easy and straightforward with her."

"Well, it's not like I expected her to freak out and break down with tears of joy or anything. I knew it might be more complicated than that. I expected that we might have to talk about it… or… I just… I just didn't think she would just… flat-out reject me like that. You don't understand what…"

"-You're right, I don't understand. I'm really sorry, Hisao."

She raps her fingers on her glass and frowns with sympathy, and it's so sad and genuine that I forget for a second how much she's annoying me. I focus on stewing instead.

"…I really think you should go talk to her," Emi says after a few minutes.

"I don't want to make things worse."

"How can you possibly do that? You don't even know what's going on right now. At least talking to her will help you understand your situation a little better."

"I didn't ask for your advice."

"Well, you're getting it."

"Why?"

"Because you're my friend, and Rin is my friend, and I'm trying to be a good friend myself."

She huffs self-assuredly to make it clear that she has no intention of leaving me alone. I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"…Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome." She sticks her tongue out at me light-heartedly. "'…I guess.'"

There's something especially unpleasant about being unable to be mad at someone when you have nothing to do with your misplaced anger. Emi, of course, is particularly good at weaseling out of it.

"Sorry. I'm sorry," I say tiredly. "I'm… taking this harder than I thought I would, I guess."

"Of course you are! How couldn't you?"

"It's just that I think this is my fault, in a sense. If I had paid more attention, I would have seen it coming. I never wanted to put her on the spot, and I think part of that is because I knew she would do something like this. I guess I just told myself that I was overthinking it."

"Have things been good with you guys up until now?"

"I really thought so. But maybe not. I mean, sometimes she gets kind of distant. But Rin has always had a hard time with relationships, you know? I've just been trying to make this work for her. I want her to be happy."

The conversation Rin and I had in her apartment a while ago floats to the top of my mind. So much has happened tonight; it's hard to believe that it was only a few hours ago.

"Wow, you're really in love with her, huh?" Emi asks, almost impressed.

"More than I think I have any right to be. Oh, you have no idea, Emi." I lay my hands down on the counter, suddenly feeling frustrated with myself. "I'm not just in love with her. My goddamn life _revolves_ around her. I daydream about her. I surround myself with her. I can't even- she's like a parasite in my brain, taking over my thoughts."

"That's a Rin analogy."

"…Yeah, I guess it is." I can't help but laugh, even though it's kind of depressing.

"Well, look, I don't want to be the one to say this, but… you know the expression." She shrugs casually, pursing her lips. "'If you love something, set it free'… right?"

"Pft. Easier said than done. Besides, it's more complicated than that. It's not as though Rin wants me to just bail out of her life… I certainly don't believe that."

"I don't know what she wants. I'm just saying, you both obviously miscommunicated about something… if you need to sort it out, sort it out, but… maybe what you guys need right now is just to spend some time apart from each other?"

"That's rich, coming from someone hounding people for a date like her life depended on it."

That was mean… I really shouldn't have said that.

Well, too late now.

She scowls a little and glares at the table. "…I'm not hounding."

"You're hounding a little bit."

"No, I'm not."

"Just a little."

"I don't have to do this, you know." She gestures to the crowd behind her. "I have other friends. Miki Miura is very talkative."

"Fine, point taken. But I'm not giving up on Rin that easily."

"What do you call _this_ , then?"

"Contemplating."

"I call it moping."

"When Rin is ready to talk to me, she'll find me."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes…"

She shrugs and takes another drink, then pushes it forward and taps on the counter to get the bartender's attention. "Hey, can I get a screwdriver?"

He sighs very quietly and takes her beer away. Watching him makes me kind of uncomfortable.

"…Maybe not," I say quietly, after a few moments of thought.

The bartender sets Emi's drink down with a loud clink, to make sure he gets her attention.

Emi smiles cheerily at the bartender before turning to me. "You can't spend your whole life waiting for somebody else, Hisao."

"Oh, God…"

I'm thinking of my landlord again. I'm going to have to tell him _something_ , and soon. I'll be stuck in apartment 608 for another couple of months, at least. How long _am_ I going to keep waiting?

I feel myself growing steadily angrier with Rin, for stringing me along if nothing else. Feels like déjà vu. But I know that's not fair.

Somewhere along the line it all just hits me, and my eyes get blurry with tears that come out of absolutely nowhere. Emi notices this and rests her hand on my shoulder, which startles me.

"Hey, hey, no!" she scolds with a sad smile. "I'm vetoing that. If you cry, I'm gonna cry, and then you'll be responsible for making a pretty girl like me break down in tears in public. You don't want something like that on your conscience, trust me."

"Fair enough," I chuckle, wiping my eyes rather pathetically. "Sorry I'm such a goddamn mess right now."

"Eh, caring about people does that to you sometimes." She hesitates for a second, trying to choose her next words carefully. "Can I tell you something? I have never had a steady boyfriend. Not once in my whole life."

"Really? _You_?"

"Yes, _me_. And thank you for being surprised; that's the closest thing I've gotten to a compliment since I showed up to this damn thing." She laughs wryly, like she really is a little bitter. "The number of failed relationships I've been in is larger than your phone number, and yet almost every single one has been my fault."

"Well, why do you keep bothering with them, then?"

"Because I'm lonely. I'm extremely lonely. And I hate that about myself, because it makes me feel weak."

Her expression is hauntingly sincere. It makes me wonder how I ever chalked her up as immature or naive, since I'm not sure I'm even capable of being that honest or insightful with myself.

She shrugs depressingly. "Sometimes I think I'm not even capable of honestly connecting to people. That kind of closeness really scares the crap out of me, you know? But I'm gonna keep trying anyway."

I'm a bit speechless at first, but eventually something worthwhile to say does come to me. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think you have a really special relationship. You're lucky that way. And you've got no excuse for squandering it."

She downs her nasty-looking drink in one go and spins around in her stool, setting the glass upside-down on the counter behind her. She's finally got me- I can't think of any response at all.

Thankfully, I don't have to. The lights dim a few moments after Emi spins around, and someone taps on a microphone to silence the conversation in the room. I turn in my stool and mimic Emi, facing the front of the room to get a better look at what exactly is going on.

"Uh, hi- uh, hello everyone… good evening," says a portly man near a set of tables at the entrance. "…Er, so, thanks for coming out. I didn't teach when you all went here ten years back, so… I know you all probably don't much care to hear from me, heh… heh heh…"

He wipes sweat off of his forehead and adjusts the microphone. Emi rolls her eyes with anticipation, which makes me wonder whether she knew in advance that there was going to be a speaker.

"Uh, s-so, anyway," the man continues, "we just wanted to take the opportunity to reflect on things, uh, a little bit. I- uh, we got in contact with one of the graduates from your year, and I know he has a speech prepared; just a little something to, eh… to do that. So I don't want to hold that up any longer. Without further ado, um… Kenji Setou, everybody. I'm sure many of you remember him… so…"

There's that name again. It seems like Kenji is just determined to inject himself into my evening as much as possible, as much as I detest the idea. He seemed so obnoxious and fake before; I can only imagine what kind of speech they got him to prepare.

As soon as he's called, Kenji appears from behind the man and grabs the microphone, adjusting his frameless glasses and throwing out one of his hands like he's greeting an old friend. "Thanks, thanks; alright, take a seat, buddy." He flashes a quick smile and turns to the crowd. "So, yeah, hi, everyone. I'm Kenji; you may remember me, you may not. Either way, welcome back to Yamaku. I'd say you all look well, but according to my optometrist I think that would probably just be a 50/50 guess."

Light chuckles echo throughout the room. I wonder when he learned to play a crowd like this. It's like he's always performing… what a way to live.

"I know what you're all thinking," Kenji declares with a dismissive hand wave. "What's with this asshole in the suit? Why are we trapped here listening to this? Nobody came here for a lecture, right? We graduated so we could be done with them." He shakes his head dramatically, chuckling to himself. "Well, this is only going to take a couple of minutes; I know we're all still catching up. I just want to make a little statement, maybe create a little perspective. Because this is about more than just catching up, isn't it? This isn't just some party. And God knows we don't need an excuse to get drunk with our friends."

He holds out his hand, and the sweater vest man passes him a bottle of water, which he takes a long drink from. "No, no, there's _meaning_ behind this, right?! This _represents_ something. Something more than, 'look, we're all still around.' We didn't just graduate from high school, we graduated from _Yamaku_. And that means something." He takes another drink. "Alright, alright, do me a favor. I want you to picture, just for a second, your first day at Yamaku. It's something I'm sure everyone can remember, right? Does an image strike you? There was- _is_ \- an atmosphere here, a distinct one. No matter what your background is, no matter how you ended up here, there is a reaction that I'm sure we can all share. Canes, and dark glasses, and bandages, and prosthetics. It's a strange feeling to become a part of a place like that. Even if you yourself are 'healthy', so to speak, you became _enculturated_. It's the structure of this place. It's how engrossed you felt in everyone's health, and in trying to pretend to be 'normal'. For some, it was new, and for some, I'm sure it had followed you your whole life. But it was there, right?"

He shrugs and takes another sip of water.

The speech makes me think of Rin again, as though I needed an excuse for that. If I had never met her, I would be sure what Kenji was saying was right, judging from my own memory. But Rin has never worked that way. She's always been free from that kind of thinking. I envy that sometimes.

Kenji soldiers on regardless. "Now think on your first week. Your first month. The people you met. People that you're probably surrounded by right now!" He does a broad gesture with his arms. "How long did you spend thinking about all that other nonsense before you had to start stressing out about a test, or getting to club meetings, or making friends? Think about how quickly it turned normal for you. You may have had to go to the nurse every day. You may have had to take three dozen pills before every meal. Who knows? But that's got nothing to do with your memories of this place, or of your education, does it? You _did_ make those friends, you _did_ take those tests, and at the end of the day, you got along fine. And here we are, ten years later, and, well, damn, there's canes and dark glasses and bandages and prosthetics here, too, but that's got nothing to do with it, does it? That's not why we all came tonight."

He shakes his head a little neurotically and hands the water back, gripping the microphone with both hands. "Okay, where am I going with this…? Listen. They called me up and asked me to give a full-fledged speech. They wanted me to talk about my organization and the charities it gives to. Rattle off names, do some gloating. They wanted me to talk about the kids I'm giving a second chance, because those charities are paying their tuition here. But I thought that would miss the point. 'Cause, shit, who am I giving a second chance? Who is Yamaku giving a second chance, for that matter? That's not what this reunion is about. Not second chances. It's not about making up for our 'problems'. Playing catch-up. It's about… adapting."

He sighs loudly into the microphone, leaning back on an unoccupied table. Dramatically removing his glasses, he makes a serious face as though to seem down-to-Earth. "I don't want people to look at my achievements and say, 'Wow, look at how Kenji overcame the odds. Look at how much a Yamaku kid was able to accomplish.' No, that's the wrong mindset altogether. Because, say what you will about what I've done with my life… the real accomplishment is one that everyone here has done. I _adapted_. I'm a part of the world. A regular guy. It's not because I got a second chance, and it's not because I played catch-up. It's just because… I _adapted_. And everyone here has done that. That's what we should be commemorating tonight. Commemorate all the little things in your life you have to be proud of. The _normal_ things. Your husband or wife. Your kids. Your career. That's the point of this. Be glad that Yamaku gave you the space to do it, but don't give anyone credit for what you've done. Because you adapted, too. _That_ is the point of this. And the only thing I want to do is make sure everyone here realizes that."

As though Kenji didn't seem enough at odds with me before, his speech makes me feel oddly defensive. What the hell kind of adapting is he talking about? As though there was some reason anyone in this room shouldn't be able to make it in the real world. Everyone claps, and I wonder how much of it is just out of courtesy.

What do I have to commemorate, after all? A wife and kids-? Obviously not… is that how we're supposed to judge the worth of our lives now? Is there some kind of prescribed method to it?

I'm happier simply… being.

Kenji throws up his hands guiltily at his applause, chuckling to himself. "Okay, okay, that's my cue, right? Yeah, my fault for saying 'a couple minutes'. Fine, fine, I'll just say this. It's a beautiful night out, so if you want to get some air, the grounds are completely open for the rest of the evening. High elevation here, so it's good for your lungs. And if you're worried about students… well, most of the kids are gone for the summer, but if you see one, just give 'em a dirty look and tell 'em it'll be their turn next decade." He raises an arm to gesture toward where I'm sitting. "Enjoy the open bar; that's totally on me. Be nice to the poor kid, he's been in that suit for four hours now. Aaaand… that's all. Have a good night, everybody!"

The lights flicker back on over the rest of the room as the sweater-vest-wearing man takes the microphone back from Kenji, tapping on the mic and letting it screech through the speakers again. After a few minutes of getting back to normal, everyone gathers up again and gets back to fraternizing, though I notice a handful of couples heading out the double doors, presumably at Kenji's recommendation to walk around the campus. I hadn't even realized it was a question as to whether we were allowed to go out or not- if I had, I might have stopped Rin earlier. Then again, I probably wouldn't have been able to summon the willpower to stop her even if I had wanted to.

For some reason, I don't quite feel the same way about it now.

"You said Rin just disappeared out of the news, just like that," I say quietly, although honestly I'm talking practically as much to myself as I am to Emi.

"Yeah. It was pretty weird," Emi says with a shrug.

"It was for the best, trust me on that. She hates the work. She hates to sell her art, and she hates being forced to paint specific things immeasurably more than that."

"Why?"

"Long story."

"…Yeah, I figured."

"Do you remember the exhibition she did while we were still at school?"

"You mean the one she unceremoniously bailed on? Of course I do."

"Yeah, well, it's a little more complicated than that, but yes, that's the one."

"What about it?"

"Those people, they're insatiable… they're like the Hydra. Chop off one head, three more grow in its place."

"…What?"

"What?"

"I- nothing," she says after a moment, chuckling to herself.

"They hounded her for ages after that. I pleaded with her to do something about it, and not ignore them, and she didn't listen to me."

"But I thought she went to art school."

"She did. That's my point." I lean into the counter, which is much less comfortable of a position than I expected. "I think it's because I kept telling her to make a decision. I pushed her too hard. If I had just not gotten involved, I know she would have figured it out on her own. Every single time… I push her too hard, and she just… gives. And yet, I keep doing it. Every damn time. Because I'm an idiot."

"-Because you're worried about her!"

"I shouldn't be."

"How _couldn't_ you be? You _love_ her!"

"I wish I could justify it that way."

"So, what, then? You think you pushed her too far this time? You said yourself that you don't think she wants you out of her life!"

"I don't think that."

"Then what the _hell_ , Hisao?!"

I raise one hand in the air, thinking. If nothing else, it feels good to talk to someone about this. I'm grateful that Emi realizes that. "It was four years ago that you stopped hearing about her in the news, right?"

"Uh. Sure, that sounds about right. Maybe a little less."

"The reason it was so sudden was that she just up and quit without any warning. There was this whole team of people she left behind- she never even warned them. She just left."

"Weird."

"It gets weirder," I continue. "She literally showed up on my doorstep; did you know that? She can't drive, so… on that same night, she _walked_ \- for two hours, in the cold, at night, in the middle of November- and showed up on my doorstep. After I hadn't heard from her in two- almost three years. She's lucky I was even living in the same place."

"…What did you do?"

"Well, what could I do? I brought her in. She lived with me for a few weeks after that, until I helped her get her own place. It was like she was sick- seriously ill. The life was just drained out of her."

"I never knew about this…"

"Yeah, I don't really talk about this kind of thing very often. It's… personal, I guess."

"No kidding."

"We still don't live together, but we have never really been _apart_ since then, you know? We probably talked for hours on that first night, and she told me that I was the only thing that really made her happy. The _only thing_."

"Wow…"

"I know. I mean, how do you even respond to something like that?"

"Do you think she really meant that?"

"Rin doesn't say things if she doesn't mean them."

"Hisao, that's-"

"I'm just so sick of everything being so complicated, and confusing, and… I really want so badly for her to be happy. But it feels like every time I try to get closer to her, or move things forward, or do _anything_ , I just end up making things worse somehow. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do?"

I cough a little at the end of my spiel and follow it up with an unpleasant swig of beer. Emi watches me with distaste.

"I don't know if I can deal with this anymore," I mutter.

"Well, I know for _sure_ that I can't deal with your depressing ass anymore, so we're going to have to figure this out, aren't we?" Emi smiles optimistically to let me know that she's teasing, and I can only imagine how unfitting the frown I give in response is.

She clasps her hands together, obviously doing her best to look supportive. "Look, this is all I'm trying to say, Hisao: Maybe you will fix things. Maybe you will move on. But either way, you owe it to yourself to do _something_. The one thing you _cannot_ do is just… quit… and sit around here wallowing in self-pity." She takes a breath and sits up, giving me a firm, sportsmanlike look. "You should know this already- I don't let _anyone_ do that, let alone my friends!"

"…I don't-"

"Please. Please, Hisao."

I make the mistake of looking directly at her puppy-dog eyes, her secret weapon. Funny, I almost forgot about that. There's a hint of sadness or desperation behind them, like this is really important to her. And I just don't think I have the energy to say no to her.

I force myself out of my seat with a titanic amount of effort. "Okay. Fine. You're right. You win."

"I do?"

"Do you ever not?"

"…As if," she says with a cute smirk.

I take a few steps forward, though I am painfully anxious about the whole thing.

Even still, it is something else entirely that compels me to stop and turn around.

"Emi."

"Oh? What is it?" she asks, genuinely surprised to see me stop.

Emi smiles at me effervescently. Strangely, it takes a few moments to find the right words. Maybe I've been letting my priorities get more out of order than I thought. "Just. Thank you. You're a really good friend. I appreciate it, and I'm here for you, if you need it."

She looks a little dumbstruck for a moment, but recovers pretty quickly and shakes her head. "Oh… um… thanks, Hisao."

"Yeah. Of course."

I'm not sure what else to say, and I just made the situation unbelievably awkward besides, but I'm still glad I did. Emi seems pretty embarrassed, but as I turn to leave I catch a glimpse of a smile- just enough to vindicate me.

Even if I end up alone, I really hope that things go better for her. Somehow, I'm pretty optimistic on her behalf.

I feel more confident the further I walk, as though every step reassures me a little bit more. It's unusually sanguine for me, so I guess Emi's attitude really did rub off on me a little. I really need to remind myself to be less cynical.

It's as dark as ever outside, but I know exactly where to go. There's a little gate out around back that leads into the woods that still feels very familiar to me. It's rusted over a bit, and I have to force it open… it must have been a hassle for Rin to get it open, but even still there's no doubt in my mind that this is the way she went. It's even harder to see in the woods, since the trees obscure the moonlight, but it doesn't give me any trouble because I already know the way.

I barely get an arm's length along the path, though, before I find another shadowy figure wandering around, same as me. I assume it's Rin only for a split second before realizing that it's about a head taller, blonde, and dressed in a distinctly un-Rin-like skirt and blouse.

The woman seems startled to hear me coming, and jumps a little as I get closer to her. "Hello?"

"Oh, uh. Hello," I say awkwardly, raising a hand in greeting.

"I'm sorry; I assumed I was the only one to go out this way in the dark. Are you one of the students returning for the reunion, as well?"

She stumbles over her Japanese very slightly- her accent is fairly strong, but I'm not exactly sure how to place it. In the dark, it takes me a few moments to realize the object in her hands is a cane- and another few after that to realize that she is blind, and using it to navigate. I blush with embarrassment, but then, I guess it doesn't really make a difference.

"Yes, I am," I say with a shrug. "My name's Hisao… I'm sorry to startle you; I was just looking for someone."

"Oh, well, it's funny you should say that, Hisao, because I'm looking for someone as well." She smiles gently, with an air of formality. "I am Lilly Satou. It's nice to meet you."

"Uh. Yeah. Good to meet you, Lilly."

Actually, she seems kind of familiar, and I get the feeling we knew each other at school. She clearly has no recollection of me, though, so it seems pointless to mention that.

She laughs very gently at my awkwardness, raising a hand daintily to her cheek. "Hisao… I wouldn't want to make any assumptions, so please excuse me if this comes across as a bit impertinent, but if we are both going in the same direction anyway…"

"Er. No. Not… impertinent… at all. Ask away."

"…Could I perhaps hold onto your sleeve for the walk? The terrain is a bit difficult here with the underbrush, and they don't maintain it very well…"

"Oh! Uh, no, that- I mean, yes, that's fine! Of course you can."

"Thank you very much. That makes things easier for me."

Lilly folds up her cane and tucks it away into some mysterious pocket as I sidle up next to her and hold my arm out. I'm blushing furiously, of course- in equal parts from the fact that I was just propositioned to walk arm-in-arm with an uncomfortably attractive blonde woman and from the fact that I have no idea what the proper etiquette is for dealing with her. She delicately places her hand over my arm before sliding it down onto my sleeve, and I watch her with discomfort. Her behavior and speech feel so stilted and formal, even for a stranger. I get the feeling she and Rin would not get along at all.

After a moment's pause, I begin walking along the path again, leading Lilly carefully along at my side. She seems very contented to have a guide, and it occurs to me that it must be exceptionally difficult to look for someone in the woods if you can't… you know, _look_ for them.

"So you lost track of someone as well?" she asks calmly, just to break the silence.

"Uh, yeah, sort of. She came out here to be alone for a while."

"Oh, I'm in exactly the same situation," Lilly laughs. "The woods are just about the only place nobody is going, I think, so I suppose it makes sense that they are a good place to escape to. Who exactly are you looking for?"

"Rin Tezuka. You probably don't know her."

Lilly recognizes the name instantly, and makes a disconcerted face. "The painter? Oh… yes, I do know her, actually. I had a number of rather interesting conversations with her during my time at Yamaku. She is quite the personality, if I recall."

"…Yeah, I guess that's one way to describe her." I scratch behind my head with my free hand, still struggling to keep up with this woman. "What about you? Who are you looking for?"

"Oh, just a close friend of mine. Trust me, I can assure you that you definitely aren't familiar with her."

"Oh."

I am perfectly content to leave it at that, mostly because I feel extremely awkward about this, but Lilly does not seem to pick up on that at all. I have to admit, I am a little impressed by how comfortable she seems around strangers.

"She has a difficult time with strangers," Lilly continues. "I don't want to seem overbearing to her, of course, but it can be difficult to find the right balance between trying to help her and trying to give her space and autonomy."

I do a double take to look at Lilly's face, which she doesn't seem to notice. "…I know exactly what you mean."

"Hm. You sound very sincere about that," she notes with a small smile.

"I am."

"It's funny how something that should be as clearly beneficial as friendship can be so difficult and complicated."

"I guess all you can do is try to be supportive and hope for the best. I mean, she's the only one that can really say what's best for her, at the end of the day."

"I couldn't have said it better myself," says Lilly, smiling charmingly and brushing a strand of blonde hair out of her face.

…I'm not sure if I'm exactly sure what just happened, but it certainly was strange. She seems totally unaffected.

We walk for a while longer- most of the way down the winding dirt path, in fact- but the place seems totally deserted. I doubt Lilly is going to have much luck with this mystery person of hers.

I don't even really know where the Worry Tree is… probably just wherever Rin decides it is. Even still, I keep pushing forward, inexplicably confident that it will be somewhere along the way.

And eventually- quite inexplicably indeed- it pays off, and I find Rin slumped cross-legged on the ground in front of an old maple tree. Her eyes are closed, but I can still tell that she's awake. She doesn't react when she hears us approach- I think she's just trying to melt into the tree and disappear.

It doesn't work.

I realize that I still have another woman attached to me, and I slow to a stop in front of the tree without any idea of how to proceed. With an absolutely staggering amount of awkwardness, I set my free hand over Lilly's on my sleeve to get her attention, and she tilts her head inquisitively.

"It's Rin," I say curtly.

A bit confused, she pulls her hand away and holds it at her side. "Oh! I'm sorry, Hisao. I don't want to keep you. I can go alone the rest of the way."

That sounds good to me, but I'm still programmed to be courteous. "Oh? We're pretty deep in the woods; are you sure you can get back on your own?"

She hesitates for a split second, and very briefly I catch what seems to be the slightest trace of irritation. "Yes, but thank you for looking out. I will be fine on my own." She snaps her cane out to full length and taps it once on the ground with a degree of finesse. "It was very nice to meet you, Hisao. Thank you for the company. Have a nice evening."

"Yes. You too, Lilly."

I wave as she walks away, though she obviously can't see it, which makes me cringe at myself. I don't have much time to dwell on that, though, because Rin finally seems to be paying attention.

"Who was that?" Rin asks quietly.

"Lilly Satou."

"Oh."

I stare at Rin in silence for a little while, though she doesn't look up to make eye contact with me. Her sleeves hang just above the ground, the knots keeping them from touching the dirt. She looks less ratty than she did before. Beautiful, in fact.

Now that I'm in front of her, I can feel some of my anxiety returning to me, but I suspend it. "Do you want me to leave?"

She stares firmly at the ground, not looking at me. The green of her eyes stands out in the dark, like the eyes of a cat. "I never know what I want you to do until you do it."

It's hardly an invitation, but it's not exactly a staunch rejection, either. I need to say this- whatever 'this' is- so I take a seat in the dirt. The ground is cold and uneven, which feels appropriate, if nothing else.

For a few minutes, we just sit in silence while I collect my thoughts. There are so many different things I want to say… so many directions I want to take this… but I'm too afraid of saying the wrong thing to start talking.

Then, out of nowhere and with no real prompting, the words just start spilling out of me. "When I was in college, after you left and we stopped seeing each other… I had to work so hard to put you out of my head. It was like washing out a stain. I didn't have any real relationships; I just kind of worked for a long time to put you behind me and focus on moving on with my life, you know? I felt kind of… hollow, for a while. I don't know if that's the right word, but it feels right."

She doesn't react at all. The more I speak, the more conscious I become of how my voice is just about the only thing making noise out here in the middle of the woods. I wonder if Lilly has gotten far enough away yet to be completely out of earshot.

"After I got my degree, I met another girl, and we really hit it off, and things went really well for a while, but then… out of nowhere, one day, six months in, we were in her bed in the middle of the night, and I just looked at her and I realized… that the whole time I was with her, I was thinking about you." I sigh and clasp my hands together. I don't know if she's even listening, but I feel like I'm doing this more for myself than for Rin. "It was just a few months later that you came back. It was the craziest thing. I told myself we were… I don't know. Inevitable. You know? It's insane…"

She slumps dully off the tree, still not looking directly at me.

"I've put in so much energy to try and make things work between us, Rin. I keep telling myself that that's what I need to do, for myself, and… I don't want to give up on it. I care about you, and I love you, and the last thing I want to do is to give up on you. But you're not… we're not… I mean, we're sort of… stagnating. And I didn't really realize it… or… I haven't come to terms with it…"

I feel myself starting to crack a little bit. I just wish she would make eye contact with me, or something. I can't totally explain it, but I'm filled with a painful, foreboding dread…

"Rin, I need something from you."

"What…?" she whispers drearily, almost inaudible.

"Please look at me…"

Slowly, she cranes her neck up to look me in the eye. She looks kind of afraid, just like me.

"I just need to hear it from you." I clear my throat, forcing my own words out. "Just be honest, okay?"

"Okay," she whispers again.

"Rin, do you still love me?"

She takes a deep breath, her eyes widening a little bit. She stares through me, like she's coming to some kind of momentous, apocalyptic conclusion.

But she doesn't say anything. For over a minute, she just thinks, staring in my general direction. I wish I could say I was hurt, or confused, but I'm not even surprised by this response. It's something I could have seen coming a long time ago, if I was being honest with myself. Not that that makes it any more difficult to accept.

I shrug, asinine of a gesture as it might be. "It's okay. It's just… I'm so sorry that I tried to-"

"-Yes."

"Tried to… to…"

I trail off hopelessly, caught totally off-guard by the sudden firmness in Rin's voice. I can't help but stare at her, completely at a loss for words.

"My answer is definitely yes," she says, more quietly than before. Her expression is soft and kind of vulnerable, like she's now afraid of what _I'm_ going to say. I'm totally flabbergasted by the sudden shift in tone.

I hesitate for a moment. "Rin…"

"I'm not usually good at explaining this kind of thing. I don't really know how to say…"

"You don't have to. Really, you… you don't have to… Rin…"

There are tears in my eyes now, which I was determined to hold back. But they really caught me by surprise this time.

I climb onto my knees and close the distance between us, pulling Rin tightly into a hug. I think it's more for my benefit than hers, but she totally humors me, resting her head against my shoulder. Her whole body trembles a little, and for a moment I think she's about to start crying, too. But she never does.

"Hisao…" she says quietly.

"Don't."

I manage to blink the tears out of my eyes without really breaking down and seriously crying. Still, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. There's some kind of invisible tension that's been released, and I never even realized it was there until now.

"Hisao…"

"Shh."

She shifts a little, pressing the left side of her body against my shoulder blade. "Hisao, the zipper on your jacket is stabbing me in the boob."

"Oh!" I release her immediately, and she slumps back against the tree, smiling a little bit. The brief moment of levity takes me off-guard, and I laugh with embarrassment, adjusting the zipper on my pocket. "Sorry, I didn't realize…"

"That's okay."

"Okay."

I laugh again, more loudly than before, but just for a couple of seconds. Rin's expression hasn't changed at all- if anything, she looks more distressed than before.

"I'm sorry for putting you on the spot," I say after a while. "I didn't mean to. I wanted to propose in private, but Emi asked me about it, and…"

"It doesn't matter. That doesn't bother me."

"Oh."

She holds her expression, watching me thoughtfully. I curse myself for not having anything more insightful or helpful to say.

"Damn it, Rin," I mutter, "I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong."

"You aren't doing anything wrong. That's what's wrong. No, that's not true. I mean, you aren't doing anything wrong, and that's why what you did tonight was wrong."

"I'm sorry. I just don't understand."

"I was thinking about that, too. This has been kind of an experiment."

"What has?"

"Us being together. All the time. I thought about it a lot even when we weren't, but then all of a sudden we were and I don't think I know when it happened."

"Rin, our relationship is not an experiment."

"Do you understand me?"

At first it seems like she is changing the subject, but somehow this seems like the only question she could have asked.

I stare into her eyes for a few moments. Her gaze is curious, maybe, but… distinctly content. "No… I don't think I do, Rin. Sometimes I fool myself into thinking I do, but… then you surprise me again."

"That's okay."

"It is?"

"It is." She narrows her eyes a little. "I love you."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm more sure than I ever was before. And that's why it's okay."

"Why does that make it okay?"

"I don't know. And I don't like thinking about it, because it confuses me even more." She frowns harshly and leans her head back against the tree. "It's not how I think I think, or how I thought I think. And it's not just hard to talk about, but it's hard to think about, too. The only reason I don't like thinking about it is because I don't understand it, and I don't understand it because I don't like thinking about it, because it's a good thing. So it shouldn't even confuse me. But it does."

"Now you're confusing me."

"I'm confusing me, too. Everything is different, which is good, but I don't get what's different, so it's really not. It's like waking up in a world where trees are made of cotton candy, but they're still green so nobody knows you can eat them. So everything is completely different, but it's still completely the same. It's just the same world as before, but with cotton candy trees."

"That sounds really disappointing."

"I know. It's like the biggest tragedy in the world. I tried to paint it once when I was thinking about that, but even that didn't help at all, because it came out all wrong. I didn't even want to look at it, because it was like the painting was lying to me."

"You just didn't understand how you were feeling."

"I know."

She breathes heavily, a little worked up.

It takes me a moment to figure out exactly how to continue. "Do I still make you happy?"

"Yes, but also sort of no."

"Then what's changed? I haven't done anything differently from what I did before, have I?"

"You didn't try to marry me before."

"I- well, okay. But what does that matter?"

"I don't know."

…Urgh.

I slide a little bit closer to her, and she makes eye contact with me again. "The thing I want to know, Rin, is… if you're more sure you love me than ever, and you want to stay close with me, and we're as close as we've ever been, then… why? Why don't you want to take this step? Of course we don't have to; we never have to if you don't want to. But, just… why?"

She takes a dramatic pause, like she suddenly understands what I've been trying to ask. "Because you're going to die."

She nods once to affirm this answer, looking both certain and rather unfazed by it. It's the first time I've ever heard her say anything like this, and I have absolutely no fitting response whatsoever.

"…What?!"

"It's because you're going to die."

"But… of course I'm going to die! …I mean… you're going to die, too! What's that got to do with anything?!"

"You said that you were going to be dead before you reached 30."

"What?"

"You said that you were going to be dead before you reached 30."

"…When did I say that?"

"When I came to your apartment after I left the people at the art studio. You said that you were going to die before you reached 30, because of your arthrythmia."

"Arrhythmia."

"Yes."

"…God, Rin." I put a hand to my forehead, struggling to remember this conversation. It's true, I almost certainly did say something like that. And it's not even a bad prediction, _necessarily_ … but…

"…I was exaggerating."

"So it wasn't true?"

"I- well, I don't know if it was true or not."

"So you weren't exaggerating."

"I might have been. Look, it doesn't- I don't understand! What has gotten _into_ you, Rin?"

"That's a good question." She frowns seriously. "Something really bad, that was never there before. Like one of those worms that live in your colon and eat all your food before you digest it. Only, instead of my colon, it's in my brain. And instead of eating my food, it's eating my thoughts. And instead of a worm, I don't know what it is."

"You have a tapeworm that lives in your brain and isn't really a tapeworm."

"Yes. Exactly."

"And it makes you think about the fact that I'm going to die."

"I don't know. I guess so."

"But you already knew that."

"But I never thought about it before."

"So what changed?"

"Nothing changed. But I found you again. And then you didn't leave. And then… you never left. So, something did change." She blinks once, like she doesn't really understand it herself. "…I did."

"…Rin…"

"I didn't mean to do that."

"There's nothing wrong with that."

"Yes, there is. Because you are still going to die."

"Please don't-"

"-And when you do, it's just going to be me and the tapeworm." She takes a raspy breath, suddenly hardening and staring at me very direly. "And before, that might have been okay. But now, I can't deal with it. Because we're closer now, when that happens, I'll be more alone that I have ever been in my entire life. And the more you get close now, the more alone I will be later. And I can't live with that."

"You can't think like that. Please."

"I don't want to. That's why you need to stop doing the wrong thing. You can't ask me to get married, or anything like that."

"So, what, then? You want me to just leave? Is that what you wanted after all?"

"No. I don't know. Wait." She tilts her head down. "Please don't leave."

"I can't do everything."

"I know."

"Rin, I wish I could tell you I will live forever. But even if I could, that would defeat the whole purpose. It's not about what's going to come next. It's about what I want from life _now_. The truth is, I _could_ be dead before I'm 30. I could also live for another five decades. The thing about arrhythmia is, I just don't know one way or the other." I shrug indifferently. "…And hell, forget that. I could get hit by a truck two hours from now. A meteor could crash down and kill everyone on Earth two hours from now. I can't think about all that all the time."

"I don't want to think about any of that, either."

"Then don't. Because there's nothing you can do about it anyway."

She still seems totally unsatisfied with my answer, to my dismay. I wring my hands together, trying to explain myself better.

"…I'm alive now, aren't I?"

"As far as I can tell."

"Well. If you're going to spend this time worrying about what's going to happen when I die, then it's like I'm already dead, isn't it?"

She frowns thoughtfully. "I don't know."

"I want to marry you because that's what's going to make me happy now. Our relationship is what is important to me now. And I'm not going to let it suffer just because it's not going to last forever."

"I think it's like the Eiffel Tower," she says slowly, like she's having an especially hard time putting the words together. "And you keep trying to paint it again. Do you know what I mean?"

"…You said that was just delaying the inevitable."

"…Yeah. That's it."

"…Well. That's wrong."

I get to my feet suddenly, full of some kind of Emi-like resolve. It suits me pretty damn well, too, if I do say so myself.

Rin stares dully at me for a few seconds, before I tug on her sweater by the shoulder and force her to stand alongside me.

"Here," I say with a shrug. "This is something I wanted to do anyway."

The path doesn't go on much further now. I lead Rin up the hill, but obviously she knows where I'm taking her before we ever get there.

The clearing looks incredible in the moonlight. The center, devoid of shade, is probably the brightest spot on the whole campus right now.

There are no dandelions. The whole area is cut short. I guess they finally started mowing up here. That feels right to me.

Even in the middle of this moment, a little part of me fantasizes about my silly little proposal going off without a hitch up here. But I think it's better the way things turned out. Much more… Rin-like.

There's one tree that is grown a bit further into the clearing than the rest. It's really a bit too small for two people to sit under, but I sit there anyway, and Rin slumps down next to me. There are crickets or something up here that break the silence, which is soothing in a way.

"What did we do the last time we came up here?" I ask quietly.

"I don't remember," says Rin.

"…I don't really remember, either."

The lights glare from the building way down at the bottom of the hill. I wonder what Emi is up to. Maybe she gave that bartender kid her number. I don't think he would ever call, but eh… she's out of his league, anyway.

"What happened to living in the present, huh?" I say after a while.

Rin doesn't respond. She leans into my shoulder, her breathing gentle.

"Let it go. You taught me to do that."

She lets out one long breath. "I think I want to cry right now."

"You can, if you want."

"…No, I don't think I'm going to."

"That's fine, too."

She takes a deep breath and rests her head on my shoulder, which makes me smile just on instinct.

"Listen," I say after a little while. "…I don't think it really matters if we get married or not. _Whatever_ we do from here on out, really, doesn't matter. This, right now… it's exactly what I want. The reason I like being around you in the first place is that you let me focus on this. You have to understand… it's the only thing I want to keep. For as long as I can. We can just forget everything else, and enjoy this. That's the whole point."

I take a long sigh and rest my head against the back of the tree, which feels much less like a pillow than watching Rin would lead one to believe.

Rin doesn't answer me.

"Rin?" I ask quietly.

Still nothing. I nudge her. She doesn't react.

"…Rin?"

 _Still_ nothing.

She fell asleep.

…I can't possibly think of anything more fitting.

I laugh- it's loud, and kind of obnoxious, and scares some of the crickets away. It echoes off the trees around the clearing, but it still doesn't wake her, somehow.

I have no idea where we'll go from here.

And now I can't stop laughing.


	5. Trial By Fire

" _The time is… five… o'clock… PM._ "

The quiet, computerized voice rings out from the digital clock on the other end of the room. Surprised to hear it, I glance up to check the time, despite the fact that it was just read to me.

"Five already? I feel like I just sat down."

Lilly pauses briefly, raising a hand from her book. "There's no rush."

"Well, no, but considering our timetable I still think we're going to want to get moving pretty soon. Are you g- ow! _Ow_!"

Without any fair warning, I am cut off by Mitsue, who has decided to pull as hard as he can on one of my loose strands of hair. I shift backward in my seat to make enough space to keep it attached to my scalp.

"Hm? What is it?" Lilly asks with a hint of concern.

"Stop that," I say firmly, grabbing Mitsue's wrist to stop the pulling. "Do. Not. Grab."

He releases me only reluctantly, opening and closing his fist like an enraged crab. I know he's just going to do it again the next time he gets the chance, so I lift him up off of my lap and set him loose into the living room to terrorize somebody else instead. Rather than take the chance, though, he crawls straight past his mother's chair and makes his way to the doorway to stand in front of the gate.

Lilly sighs loudly when I ignore her. "Hisao, what was that?"

"Your demon was attacking me."

She laughs very softly and returns to her book, running her hand over the braille to find her place again. "Yes, well, I'm sorry to break this to you, but he's your demon as well."

"…Maybe I'll just shave my head. Get a military haircut."

"Have you considered actually teaching him to stop pulling people's hair?"

"I don't know; that sounds like it might require some actual parenting. I don't think you need to worry yourself about it."

"Oh, I beg to differ. My hair is longer than yours, and I don't have the option of shaving it, so just imagine what it's like for me."

She cracks a pretty smile, running her free hand down a strand of her own hair. I haven't thought about it often, but suddenly I find myself stricken by the fact that I don't think she has _ever_ made any major changes to her hairstyle.

"Hey, have you ever considered cutting your hair short? Seriously."

"…I assumed you were making a joke when you brought that up."

"Well, of course I was, but this just occurred to me. I think you'd look good with short hair. Kind of chic, you know?"

"I don't think 'chic' has ever really been my style." She pauses for a moment, then smiles. "But thank you for the compliment."

"…So you haven't considered it, then?"

"Hisao, weren't you going to ask me something?"

"Oh, right." I turn around in my chair and glance at the entrance of the living room. "You said you wanted to cook tonight, right?"

She raises an eyebrow expectantly, still reading and paying the conversation only half attention. "Me, as opposed to…?"

"Hey! I can cook!"

"You… can make a very strong effort."

"That's not fair! You said you liked it last time I did…!"

She closes her eyes guiltily. "Oh, I'm just teasing you, Hisao. Perhaps I'm just trying to protect my pride."

"Yes, well, if it would bring you too much shame to have your husband cook for you, I imagine he would be delighted to have a chore off of his plate."

With an air of surprise, Lilly lets out an unrestrained laugh before covering her mouth and straightening herself out. "To answer your question: yes, I'm going to make dinner soon. I told Akira I would, so her hopes are already up."

"Okay, well, in that case…"

She sighs, then nods accordingly. "I'll get to it before long. I'm just going to finish the chapter I'm on. Don't worry."

"Suit yourself."

Satisfied by my reaction, she leans back into her chair without another word.

Before long, the silence is interrupted by a quiet clatter, and Akira wanders through the entrance of the living room, picking up Mitsue and slinging him on her shoulder on the way in. "I think you misplaced this."

"He was having a little too much fun with my hair, so I set him down," I explain with a shrug. "He thinks if he hides behind the child gate and looks like a prisoner someone will eventually pity him and let him go." Akira sets him down in the middle of the room, and he immediately wanders toward me, finding a comfortable spot on the ground near my leg. "Please tell me, Akira. When do they stop being so handsy?"

"Well, Mami was actually a pretty gentle baby, but… I think that kind of thing is supposed to stop at around two, maybe three. …And then it starts again at around fourteen or fifteen." Akira snickers at her own stupid joke, tucking her hands into her pockets and slumping down onto the couch next to me.

"Can we please refrain from making dirty jokes in front of the baby?" Lilly says with a loud sigh.

"Oh, he doesn't even know what I _said_ , let alone what I meant."

"I just think we should be trying to get out of the habit of being inappropriate. Don't you want to be a good role model?"

"Yeah, fine, whatever." Akira grins and kicks her feet up on the ottoman, throwing her head back on the couch. "Lilly, Lilly, Lilly… so predictable."

"Well, I would rather be predictable than crude."

"And _that_ , my friend, is the difference between you and me," Akira remarks with a cocky grin.

Lilly smiles warmly at the exchange. "It's very nice to have you around, Akira, even if only for a short time like this. I wish you would visit more often."

"I'd like to, believe me, but I've been really starved for time lately." Akira clicks her tongue thoughtfully. "I'll be damned if I'm gonna lose touch with you, though, seriously. Next time, I'd like to plan a proper vacation and bring the family down. What do you guys think?"

"That sounds lovely. You know you're welcome here whenever you like, of course."

"Absolutely," I chime in. "It would be great to get the chance to spend some time with everyone again."

"You guys really have hospitality down to an art form, huh?" Akira snickers. "Well, I appreciate it. I'd love to extend you the same courtesy, but, y'know, that would be dependent on you guys actually coming up to Inverness some time."

"To be fair, Akira, we have been a little busy, too." I place my hand on Mitsue's head, and he babbles cheerily. "…You know, if you haven't noticed."

"Point taken." She reaches out her hand to touch him, and he reels back and hides behind my leg in anticipation. With a roll of her eyes, she pulls her hand back and chuckles, "Man, he's giving me the cold shoulder already. It's going to be a long night, isn't it?"

"Seeing as it's already 5:00, so as long as you don't get any sugar in him, it's probably going to be an exceptionally short night."

"He'll warm up to you, Akira, don't worry," Lilly adds. "He always gets like this late in the afternoon."

"Trust me, it's fine. This isn't exactly my first time taking care of a baby."

"It _is_ your first time taking care of _our_ baby, though."

"Yeah, yeah, everyone thinks theirs is the unique one, right?" Akira says flippantly. "When do you want me to put him to bed?"

"Well, I suppose that would be up to you. But try not to keep him up late. Maybe around 6:30 or 7:00?"

"I can do that. I've got work to do later tonight anyway."

Lilly purses her lips with mild concern, finally closing her book and sitting up a little. "Will you be very busy this week?"

"Sorry to say. I'll be in the city a lot, though, so I'll be able to stay out of your hair for most of that time, at least."

"I hope you don't make yourself _too_ scarce… I had hoped we would have an opportunity to go out and do something together."

"I'll make time for you, I promise."

"You don't need to go out of your way, Akira," I interject with a small shrug. "Business is business. We can make time when you're more available."

Lilly gives a little smirk and stands from her chair, grabbing her cane from its spot against the wall. "Well, let her go out of her way a _little_ bit…"

"Ha! It won't be a problem, seriously. I will have some free time," insists Akira, waving her hand nonchalantly. "The suits can't keep me to themselves all the time."

"I should hope not," Lilly declares with an air of finality, finally making her way out of the room. Before she gets all the way there, though, she stops herself and makes a half-turn. "Akira, did you preheat the oven like I asked?"

"Ye of little faith…"

"I'm just checking." She cups her hands for a moment, running through a mental to-do list. "Then, before I go in… Hisao, would you mind going into my closet and getting a scarf for me? It should be on a rack in the front; I don't want to forget about it."

I stand from the couch, prompting a useless whine from Mitsue. "You want a particular scarf? Can you describe it?"

"It's the grey and blue one, I think. It should be right in the front, like I said."

"Sure thing."

"Thank you."

She taps her cane firmly against the child gate, then slips through without another word. As I make my way to the hall door, Akira snickers quietly at Mitsue and picks up him again. He resists her limply, as though resigning himself to an evening of her attempts at affection.

"What's she making, anyway?" Akira asks absentmindedly, trying to keep Mitsue's attention on her.

She stops me just as I get to the door. "Baked salmon. You didn't see it in the fridge?"

"Eh, I didn't know whether it was for tonight or not."

"We have too much not to have it tonight. They were selling it in bulk at the supermarket."

"Selling in bulk? I didn't think you guys were bargain chasers."

"What, don't you like salmon? It's better not to waste money as far as I'm concerned."

"No, of course it's not. I was just surprised to hear you say that."

She flashes me a strange look and then turns back to Mitsue. I have no idea what to make of it, and so without another word I continue through the doorway to make my way to my bedroom at the end of the hall.

Lilly's closet is a labyrinth, bafflingly organized to the point that I am usually too intimidated to ever go inside. Everything is organized and stacked strictly according to its texture and size rather than its design, which feels counterintuitive to a sighted person like me. Admittedly, when you really think about it, her way makes more sense, anyway- it seems like you should prioritize the clothes you _want_ to wear, not the ones that look the best. Dressing to be trendy or fashionable has always just seemed like a giant vanity project to me. But even then, she still manages to be far more naturally fashionable than me, so what do I know?

I dig through a number of shelves before finding the rack with Lilly's scarves. Thankfully the one in front is grey and blue, so I can safely assume I don't need to dig through any more of them to find the one she wanted… Lilly probably owns more scarves than I do articles of clothing in general.

When I reenter the living room, I find Akira staring at her phone inattentively, having apparently sedated Mitsue with his pacifier- which was probably a smart move, in all honesty. I take a seat next to her and turn the TV on, placing Mitsue on my lap again. Hopefully this time he will be too distracted to pull on my hair.

After a while, the smell of Lilly's cooking carries into the living room, and Akira's eagerness to eat turns palpable. I find myself looking forward to being able to sit around the table and hold conversations as a family. It was exciting enough when Mitsue was able to start on solid foods, but before long he'll be walking, and talking, and then…

…It's kind of funny; I think being a parent has made me sentimental on a hair trigger. It's not a bad thing, but it is a strange feeling nonetheless.

"I'm ready for you!" Lilly calls from the other room, getting Akira to practically leap out of her seat. I follow her in with Mitsue over my shoulder.

In the kitchen, we find Lilly fully absorbed in her cooking and hunched over the counter, scooping tin foil-wrapped pieces of fish onto three plates. Slipping around the other end of the table so as not to get in the way, I set Mitsue down in a high chair and serve him something awful and green out of a jar. He does not look very enthusiastic to eat it, not that I would expect him to.

Akira takes one look at her sister and laughs out loud, taking the seat at the table across from me. "Oh, Lilly, look at you in that apron! If only dear old Dad could see you now; he would be so proud!"

Lilly sets Akira's plate down in front of her with a small sigh. "I will choose to take that as a compliment."

"Sure, sure."

After making a few finishing touches on her own plate, Lilly hangs up her apron and takes the last seat at the table. The food smells delicious, and nobody hesitates in the interest of politeness.

"This is amazing," Akira says after a quiet couple of minutes. "Do you guys have anything to drink? I'll get it myself, just tell me where."

Lilly looks genuinely alarmed for a moment. "Oh, I'm sorry; I forgot to put waters out."

I jump in to stop her from getting up. "I'm on it, Akira. What can I get you?"

"Got any beer?"

"No, sorry, we haven't been keeping any alcohol in the house…"

"Oh, right… I forgot you guys were doing that." She rolls her eyes and snickers somewhat childishly. "Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you need to force everyone who walks into your house to deal with it, too, you know, sis."

"Actually, I'm surprised it didn't occur to me to get anything when you said you would be coming down for the week," Lilly notes thoughtfully. "But we don't get very many guests, so it would be a waste to keep alcohol in the house if nobody is going to get any use out of it. And for the record, I think it is a very sweet gesture on Hisao's part not to drink, and I appreciate it."

"You kids and your trends."

"It's a solidarity thing. Plenty of people do it," I object.

"Yeah, well, let me tell you something. I _did_ my nine long months of sobriety already, and you didn't hear a single complaint out of me. And I didn't get an ounce of 'solidarity'."

"Put this in perspective, then," Lilly says energetically. "We have _eighteen_ months to sit through. We've made it through ten and we're still going strong."

"Yes, I am well aware, and that is _your_ cross to bear, honey."

I place my hands on the table with feigned exasperation. "…Would you like some water or not, Akira?"

"…Yes, please," she replies with a small grin. Lilly chuckles at that.

They return through their food as I rifle through the fridge to get out the pitcher of water. As I return to my seat, I notice the scarf I draped behind my seat. "Oh, I got that scarf for you, by the way, Lilly."

Lilly nods slightly and holds out her arm. "Oh, good; thank you. I'd almost forgotten."

"Is there any particular reason you wanted this one?" I ask as I place it in her hand.

With a small huff, she runs her hand along it and then wraps it around her neck like a true fashionista. "Hanako made this for me as a gift a while ago. I haven't yet had occasion to wear it, but as we'll undoubtedly be meeting up with her later tonight, I wanted her to see me in it."

"Really? So… she's… _knitting_ now, huh?"

"…Crocheting, actually."

"Oh. Hm."

Akira chuckles quietly as I poke at my food. There's a brief awkward silence that Lilly doesn't seem to pick up on.

"…Alright, I'm just going to say it," I add, finally. "She needs a boyfriend."

At that, Akira immediately bursts into laughter, trying not to spit out her food.

"Oh, Hisao…" Lilly groans.

"What? I'm serious. I think we should set her up with someone."

"Like _who_?"

"I don't know. Anyone. Don't you think that sounds like a nice thing to do?"

"I _think_ that sounds like an invasion of her privacy."

"That's not fair. It's not like she doesn't _want_ a boyfriend."

"That's not the point. I don't think whether she does or not is really any of our business."

"Well, personally, I think she would appreciate the help. She's hardly the most extroverted person around, and God knows how long it would be before she met someone on her own…"

"I think that sounds like a good idea," Akira interjects, barely swallowing her food in time to get the words out. "You guys should bring her along on a double date or something. Hisao's right; that girl needs to get out more."

"Oh, goodness; not you, too…" Lilly sighs quietly, putting a hand to her forehead. Akira laughs boldly as usual at this and returns to her dinner.

Akira's defense inspires me enough to continue talking about it, despite Lilly's objections. "What about the library? I'll bet there's a ton of sweet, reserved guys that hang out there that would totally go for her."

"Why? You spend a lot of time at the library?" Akira asks brightly.

"Well, not really, no. We have a pretty sizeable reading selection here at home… but I do stop by occasionally…"

Lilly hesitates for a moment, wringing her hands together in the meantime. "…What's got you thinking about this, Hisao?"

"I don't know. It just depresses me to see her all lonely, I guess," I respond with a shrug. "She gets a certain way. And I feel bad that we haven't had much time to spend with her since Mitsue was born."

"Well… I suppose I do sympathize with that. Unfortunately, I don't know how much we can really do to amend it any time soon."

"That's why I said we should set her up with someone! It would make me feel better to know she had someone else to dedicate her time to, so she didn't feel like we were neglecting her. And it's something she already wants, so as far as I'm concerned it's perfectly within her grasp."

"If you think it's perfectly within her grasp, then don't you think you should have the confidence in her to find someone on her own?"

Lilly raises her eyebrows without lifting her face from her plate to face me, like she's preemptively claiming victory in this debate. I feel unsatisfied by that.

I throw up my hands, shrugging dejectedly at Akira. "Look, all I'm saying is that she tends to sell herself way too short. You know, she's kind, and… thoughtful, and cute, and… if we could just get her to put herself out there a little more I think she would have a lot of success."

"My, Hisao, you should hurry and confess to her before it's too late."

"What, don't tell me you're getting jealous."

"Jealous? No. But I have to admit, it is hard to remember the last time you fawned over _me_ like that."

She smiles playfully, still refusing to acknowledge me directly. I refuse to be cowed.

"How easily we forget such things when we are trying to make a point, hm?"

She blushes a little, and so quickly dabs her face with a napkin to hide it. I consider that a success.

"Wow, love is in the air, huh?" Akira interjects sarcastically, reaching across the table for the salt shaker.

"We aren't bothering you, are we?" Lilly asks suddenly.

"What, you mean more than usual?" Akira is unable to keep a straight face and cracks up as she says that, which makes Lilly smile affectionately. After a brief pause, Akira snaps her fingers, coming to a sudden realization, and waves a hand dramatically in the air at me. "-What about online dating? Has she ever tried it? It's a growing market, you know. 21st century and all that."

"I don't know; I've never asked her. She doesn't talk about her love life much," I explain.

"Guess I'd expect as much. Still, it could work for her. You never know."

"I don't know how enthusiastic Hanako would be to try a service where people agree to dates based on the first picture they see of your face," says Lilly.

"…Oh, yeah. Fair point. Hm."

"People can be really shallow," I add, a little sobered by the thought.

"You said it… well, damn, whatever. Stupid idea." Akira shrugs and takes a sip of water, trying to breeze past the uncomfortable subject of Hanako's face. "While we're on the subject, you guys should see if you can't invite her over for dinner sometime this week! You said yourselves that it was too bad you haven't been able to spend much time with her."

"Oh, really? This week? That's an interestingly specific suggestion," Lilly says with a raised eyebrow.

Akira narrows her eyes defensively. "Okay, I got her a birthday present. Wanted to get the chance to give it to her in person while I'm here."

"…You are aware that her birthday is past, right? _Not_ this week?"

"It's a belated gift, alright? Gimme a break. It's Scotch, anyway. Can't exactly _mail_ it."

"What's Scotch?"

"The gift is. Like, whisky. It's what I got her."

"You got Hanako alcohol for her birthday?"

"Yeah; what's wrong with that?"

"A bit lazy, isn't it? Besides, Hanako doesn't typically drink on her own. Only at social gatherings… where, incidentally, she always drinks to excess."

"This coming from you of all people."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Lilly knows exactly what it's supposed to mean, of course, and frankly it's not an unfair criticism. If anything, it was my modest relief at a couple of years without Lilly drinking that made it so easy to give up alcohol myself for the duration of two pregnancies.

Ironically, I find myself feeling defensive on Lilly's behalf even despite this. Or at least, I'm torn enough not to add anything to the discussion, in any case.

"Doesn't mean anything; forget it. But I still stand by my gift," Akira deflects. "Besides, it seems like it should be pretty suitable in light of tonight's discussion. She's gonna want something to help her loosen up if we're going to try and get a man into those absurdly high pants of hers."

"Akira, please!"

"What?" Akira blinks and glances over at her side to Mitsue, who is relaxing in blissful ignorance in his high chair. "…Oh, right, sorry. Forgot we're being prudes in front of the baby." She reaches out and attempts to touch him, and he babbles and smacks her on the sleeve with his spoon, which is currently covered in sludge from the purée he was eating. She takes a deep breath and retracts her arm, wiping her sleeve furiously with her napkin. "God damn it; love this top…"

"It'll wash out," I say after a moment of restraining myself from laughter.

Lilly straightens up confidently. "We're not being 'prudes'. We're trying to raise our son properly. There is a difference."

"Look, would you just invite Hanako over?" Akira asks dismissively. "I'd like to see her. And besides, Mitsue could use an aunt figure that he doesn't despise."

"He _does_ really seem to like her…" I feel obligated to add.

"If you want to do it, Hisao, I would be happy to invite her over," says Lilly. "Just not to compensate for Akira's failure to give a birthday gift on time."

Akira leans back and swirls her drink around in one hand, and it looks pretty cool even despite the fact that she seems to have forgotten it's not filled with booze. "Yeesh, has anyone ever told you how much you sound like Shizune?"

"Only you, and only when we fight."

I glance between the two of them, genuinely surprised to hear that. "Since when do you guys fight?"

Akira tilts her head and smiles at me with mocking condescension. "Oh, what a strange family you must grow up in as an only child."

"Well, say what you will, Hisao's side of the family is much less dramatic and complicated than ours," Lilly adds defensively.

"That's not exactly an impressive feat."

"In any case."

Akira snickers lightly and returns to finish the last scraps of fish from her plate. I'd finished mine already, but of course the polite thing to do would be to wait until Lilly finished to say anything about leaving. That's exactly what I intend to do, too, but I never get the chance.

" _The time is… six… o'clock… PM._ "

The speaking clock chirps quietly from the living room, interrupting the silence we started in the kitchen.

Lilly takes a breath, surprised by how quickly time has gone by. "Goodness; I can't believe it's six already."

"I know exactly what you mean," I say, leaning over the table to look out the window. "It seems like time has really been flying today."

Akira shoots me a look and gestures out of the room. "Do you guys need to get out of here? Isn't this around when you said you wanted to leave?"

"I also said there's no rush, Akira," Lilly reassures.

"You sure? 'Cause I'd hate for you to tarnish any reputation of punctuality, especially if a certain bespectacled someone is going to be expecting to see you at this reunion."

Lilly sighs loudly at the obvious mention of her cousin. That's one former classmate that I am not particularly looking forward to running into.

"Anyway," Akira continues, "I was going to say I would be happy to stay and clean up, but…"

"You really don't have to do that."

"Hell, it's better than spending money on a hotel room. I'd like to do something to thank you guys for letting me stay for the week."

Lilly bows her head contemplatively, and the idea of not having to stick around and clean the kitchen is just compelling enough to get me to make an executive decision.

"Thanks a lot, Akira," I say, getting out of my seat rather loudly. "You're a big help."

"Any time," replies Akira impassively, using the extra leg room as an opportunity to stretch out.

Lilly smiles gently and gets out of her seat, pushing her unfinished plate across the table. "I suppose that's settled, then. Thank you, Akira."

"What time do you think you'll get back? Late? Want me to leave the door unlocked for you?"

"We'll be alright. I don't imagine we will be back until you're already asleep."

"I dunno; I'll be up pretty late working. I have to finish writing something up before I go into the city tomorrow afternoon. Still, I won't wait up if you don't think I should."

In one suave gesture, Akira slips around the table and pulls Mitsue out of his high chair, which apparently he finds fun enough not to whine about. She props him up against her shoulder, and he immediately sets his eyes on a loose strand of her hair and grabs hold, causing her to wince and shoot me a look. "Ow, man, he is really full of energy tonight…"

I reach out a hand to pull Mitsue away from her hair, trying to be as stern as possible. " _No_. No grabbing."

He makes a face at me and babbles something incoherent. It's disheartening; my attempts to stop him are starting to feel futile. I was really hoping Pavlov would come through for me here.

"At least you know the hair pulling isn't personal," I say to Akira with a shrug. She grins and readjusts him, completely undeterred, and before long he calms down in her arms.

Watching her try to win over my son, I find myself becoming extremely curious as to how Akira mothered at that age. Unfortunately Lilly and I didn't get to be around much for Mami's infancy, given that we were going to school in a different country at the time, and in the interim I guess I allowed myself to start thinking of Akira as flighty and unmotherly. In general, I tend to think of Lilly as the much warmer and more approachable of the two of them, but I realize I'm probably biased in that regard. Maybe having Akira around to babysit for the week will end up being a good change of pace for Mitsue.

Akira brushes past me to close the distance between herself and Lilly. With a tender smile, Lilly places her hands along the sides of Mitsue's head, gently feeling out the contours of his face, before kissing him on the forehead. He watches her obliviously, just happy to be getting attention, which is pretty much the norm for him.

I wonder what exactly is going through his head… I don't know if it's the fact that babies are enigmatic or if I'm just thinking about it too hard, but either way I really cannot wait for him to start talking.

"Are you ready to go?" Lilly asks me suddenly, taking my arm with one hand and snapping me out of my little daydream.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. Hang on a second; let me pull the car around."

I turn to leave, but just before I do, Akira leans back against the counter and waves, still holding Mitsue in one arm. "I'll see you guys later, then. Tell Hanako I said hi."

"Of course," Lilly says politely. "Good night, Akira."

I return the wave without waiting around. "Bye."

Lilly stays at my side, and I guide her to our front door by way of the staircase at the end of the hall. By now, she can clearly get there by herself just from muscle memory alone, which makes me wonder why she bothers holding onto me in the first place…

I take a certain amount of pride in being the one Lilly relies on for guidance, which she surely realizes. She usually has me walk her places rather than use her cane, if only because I'm happy to be able to help- which I know must be a sacrifice of her pride in place of mine. Still, maybe she just prefers the intimacy of it.

Come to think of it, it's flattering either way.

Lilly positions herself on the front porch as I shut the front door, and with no delay I slip around to the other end of the house and pull the car up the driveway. In my usual awkward fashion, I stumble back out of the car to lead Lilly to the passenger seat, but she takes my hand with enough grace for the two of us. I begin driving as soon as she settles into the car, the route well ingrained into my mind, considering it is the same route I take to Yamaku every morning for work.

With one hand, she pulls her scarf down to more adequately cover her neck, looking exceptionally comfortable.

"You looking forward to this?" I ask quietly.

"Oh, absolutely. It's been so long since we've been able to just go out and do something fun on our own as adults," Lilly responds with an air of exhaustion. "And have someone else worry about Mitsue for an evening, for that matter."

I chuckle wryly; I haven't exactly been keeping my own frustrations with him subtle lately. "I've really had my hands full with him. I feel like he has been really unresponsive with me lately…"

"You're doing the best you can, Hisao." She smiles reassuringly, folding her hands on her lap without any concern. "Try to be optimistic. At least this is good practice, right? The first time is supposed to be the hardest. It is a trial, but it's one that will be for the better of both of us."

"Trial by fire."

"How fitting for our demon."

I can't help but laugh, and she smiles with satisfaction in response. That smile alone is enough to make me feel alright about it.

Lilly doesn't seem to have much else to say; evidently neither of us has much to offer in the way of small talk. With her eyes closed and her seat back, she briefly makes me wonder if she is intending to take a nap and leave me to drive in silence. I don't care to disrupt her even if she is, though, so I say nothing.

It's funny how something as familiar as my drive to work seems strange when it's under unfamiliar circumstances. I don't think Lilly has even set foot on the campus since graduation, despite how much of my time I spend there. She wants to start teaching again sometime next year, and I know for a fact that Yamaku has available openings in the language department that would allow her to teach English there. She has opposed the idea in the past, but no doubt it would be hard for her to turn up a position on a silver platter like that after being out of work for as long as she has. And I can't deny that I like the idea of being able to spend more time with her by having us both work at the same place.

Still, maybe she's destined for bigger things than me, career-wise. I've always approached teaching as more of a passion project than something to advance my reputation or to make money, and I'm thankful to have become a part of a family that is wealthy enough to allow that. But Lilly is not as comfortable with relying on their money as I am, and that makes her a lot more career-driven. Maybe it's for the best that we become more self-sufficient… that way we can have no reservations about making decisions for our children that the rest of her family doesn't necessarily agree with.

After all, I'd like to send both of my kids to Yamaku when they get old enough, and I know very well from my time there that the tuition can be a problem for some people. It would be nice to have the money to be able to afford it on our own, even though I suspect I would be able to get it at least reduced on account of my working there. Even if we couldn't, though, I'm pretty confident that I would send them anyway. It's an experience that was very valuable to me, and I'd like for my own kids to be able get the same thing out of Yamaku that I did… assuming I manage to live long enough to see them reach that age, anyway.

Lilly would probably get upset with me for even suggesting I may not live that long. Her concern is very moving, but nevertheless I won't make promises that I can't keep. The line I walk between pessimism and realism is a fine one, but an important one- especially for someone with health as volatile as mine.

That's not a talk I'm looking forward to having with my kids, but it's something I knew I was signing up for when I committed to starting a family. God knows I don't regret my son- and perish the thought- but sometimes it is hard not to regret that I gave him a life where he may have to prematurely lose a father. It's better to look towards the future than the past, but even then it can be difficult not to be bleak sometimes. Regret is a very fickle and complicated thing, which makes me grateful to have Lilly's steadfast optimism to ground me a little bit.

…There I go getting sentimental again. This is what happens when I let my mind wander.

Eventually I do allow myself to ease up and relax a little, but by the time I've managed to do it we're already pulling into Yamaku's parking lot near the front gate. It's starting to fill up despite it being near the initial arrival time, a good sign for attendance if not for the issue of overcrowding the cafeteria. Confusingly, there is nobody else on the grounds at all, even though I had been under the impression that the campus would be open to people returning for the reunion. The nearby signs direct me us to the cafeteria, and so with no reason to wait around, I head straight for the main event with Lilly at my side.

More people do appear as we get further from the gate, though (namely, crowds and couples trying to puzzle their way around the obtusely-laid out signs to find their way inside), and I try to make it obvious that I know where I'm going so that they can follow me. On my way into the building that contains the cafeteria, I spot a few people sitting around on a bench waiting for the sun to set. I suppose this would be as nice a place as any to watch it.

The noise that builds as we approach the cafeteria itself makes it more than evident that there will be no shortage of attendants. With no hesitation, I swing open the double doors, and my suspicions are immediately confirmed. The room is already starting to fill up, and people are dividing up into cliques as though we really were in high school again. It's encouraging to see so many former students, many of whom have very conspicuous physical disabilities, all still healthy and able to convene here.

Lilly clues into the crowd immediately and pulls gently on my arm to get my attention. "See if you can find someone we know, so we don't get crowded."

"But all the fun is in running into the people you're not expecting!"

"Well, call it a hunch, but I suspect that if we start a conversation with every student we run into, we're not going to have much time to do anything else."

I scratch behind my head with my free hand, scanning through the crowd for people I know, to little avail. Lilly no doubt has plenty of old friends from school, but unfortunately for both of us I don't really know any of them well enough to recognize them after this much time has passed… so, on second thought, it might be nice to find a clique of our own.

"I'll keep my eyes open, then," I say after a moment.

Before long, more people begin to pour in through the entrance, forcing us further into the crowd and away from our spot near the door. A few people spot me and wave, but despite my best efforts to look unthreatening, almost no one seems to want to risk a conversation, which dispirits Lilly a bit. I know that she likes to think of herself as having been popular at Yamaku, or at least well-liked, and considering her distinctive appearance it is hard to believe that nobody here recognizes her. I figure that her uncommon beauty is what helped to make her seem so approachable during our high school years, and I can't help but wonder if having me at her side offsets that somehow. Maybe I'm being too self-deprecating, but it would seem to me that any ordinary-looking Japanese person like myself would probably detract from what makes her seem so exotic and intriguing. That, or I could just be making excuses for people's bad memories or introversion.

No matter the reason, before too long Lilly and I find ourselves wandering through the crowd with nobody to talk to. The crowd continues to grow behind us as more people start to arrive, which only makes it more difficult to navigate. For the first time in ages, I find myself regretting that I can't go to the bar and have a drink to help relax a little. If Lilly is feeling anxious for the same reason, though, she doesn't do much to show it.

"Maybe we came too early. To be honest, I feel like I don't know anyone here, yet," I mumble, which earns a small frown from Lilly.

"I'm sorry; is this making you uncomfortable?" she asks hurriedly. "Maybe this was a bad idea."

"No, no, of course not… I'm just blathering to myself." I laugh self-consciously, glancing around aimlessly once more.

"If you say so…"

I wish I hadn't said anything, but I guess it's too late to put Lilly at ease now. It only redoubles my efforts to find someone I know.

And sure enough, it does not take long for the universe, in its typical vindictive fashion, to answer my prayers with the one person I was the most apprehensive about running into. Near one of the tables along the edge of the room, I find a tuft of blue hair among a small crowd and identify Shizune, who is animatedly signing alongside a pair of brunette women that I barely register at first.

At second glance, though, I am stricken by something and lean over to Lilly almost automatically. "Lilly… do you know if Misha is still dyeing her hair?"

"Hm? Dyeing it pink, you mean?" Lilly asks with surprise, putting a hand to her cheek thoughtfully. "I thought she stopped doing that a long time ago."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." I allow myself a quiet sigh before continuing, now certain of her identity. "I don't think you're going to believe this."

"Believe what?"

"She's here, and she's in the middle of a conversation with Shizune."

Lilly looks about as shocked as I'd expect, though she collects herself quickly. "I… with Shizune? Really? Well… you're sure that's Misha?"

"I'm sure."

"Do… they look upset?"

"Not particularly."

She nods once, affirming something to herself. "Well, maybe now would be a good time to say hello, then."

Unsure of exactly how to insert myself into their crowd, I start off towards Misha and raise my free hand in greeting, hoping to make us noticeable without coming off as rude for interrupting. It's been long enough since I last talked to Misha that I forgot about her inability to be subtle.

She is quick to remind me, as she drops everything upon seeing Lilly and I approach in order to shout enthusiastically at us. "Oh! Hey! Hey! Over here, you guys!"

Shizune seems rightly irritated by the interruption, but her face softens with surprise when she turns and realizes that it was us Misha was yelling at. She signs something to Misha, but I assume it was something private because Misha makes no attempt to translate it.

With an odd smile plastered to her face, Misha throws her arm around the other brunette woman and gestures to Lilly and I. "This is Shizune's cousin, Lilly, and her husband, Hisao! I said that I thought they might show up tonight!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you again, Misha," Lilly responds patiently, bowing her head. "And you as well, Shizune; it really is a shame that we have been out of touch lately."

Shizune straightens her glasses approvingly and gives a small smile at that, raising her hands to sign something to Lilly in return. Before she gets a chance to finish, though, Misha turns away from her and continues brazenly with her own introductions, which is astonishingly rude and clearly bothers Shizune a lot. It comes off as unintentional to me, though- Misha is clearly out of practice as a translator, compared to how effortlessly she could speak for Shizune back in high school.

"This is my girlfriend, Sayumi," Misha explains, squeezing the woman around her arm. "Or… Sayumi-chan, you know, if you prefer!"

Exasperated, the woman runs a hand through her own brown hair, which is styled almost exactly like Misha's. "Yeah… or just Sayumi. Just Sayumi would actually be completely fine."

I'm a little dumbstruck in more ways than one at the moment.

Lilly takes it in stride, and quickly makes up for my own failure to come up with a response. "It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Sayumi- I'm sorry; I didn't realize you were here at first."

She emphasizes that last part with measured forcefulness. At first I think this is a jab at me, but I quickly realize that she is trying to imply her blindness to Sayumi to avoid anyone having to explain it. Actually, it's a pretty tactful way of doing so, which I especially appreciate considering the present company.

It occurs to me after a moment that Shizune, standing impatiently behind Misha with arms crossed, has at this point been completely excluded from the conversation, as Misha hasn't signed anything anyone has said thus far.

"Er, Misha," I say with a shrug, "not to be rude, but… shouldn't you be interpreting?"

"Oh! Sorry, I forgot!" She smiles uncomfortably and turns to Shizune, making a few dramatic gestures with her hands. "Sorry, Shizune!"

Shizune seems unimpressed by the apology, and angrily signs something in retaliation before turning to Lilly and I again and continuing. Misha flips around and scratches behind her head, blushing a little. "Um… she says it's nice to see you guys again!"

I have my doubts that that's all she said… but it's probably the gist of it, so I don't comment on it.

"Did you guys all come together?" I ask doubtfully, pausing for a moment at the end of my sentence to ensure that Misha translates to Shizune- which she does, albeit with some embarrassment.

Sayumi is quick to jump in. "Nope; Misha thought it would be fun for just the two of us to go to this. But we ran into Shizune and her little brother at the entrance as we were coming in and she decided to catch up."

She seems to be pretty strongly implying that she wants nothing to do with Shizune or this conversation, but I don't think Misha picks up on it at all. It's only a matter of time before this horribly uncomfortable reunion between Shizune and Misha comes to a head, and Sayumi certainly isn't helping things. I think it would be best to find an out as soon as possible.

"So Hideaki _did_ come with Shizune," Lilly says. "Where is he now?"

…Apparently she is not as concerned about it as I am. She may just be relieved that Misha is distracting Shizune from picking a fight with _her_.

Shizune snaps loudly to hold Misha's attention before signing a response. "He ran away to the bar the first chance he could. Now he's over there flirting with older women!" Shizune clearly finds it irritating, but from the way Misha translates, it comes off more like she finds it endearing.

"I'll don't think I'll ever quite understand him," Lilly says softly. Shizune rolls her eyes.

"Okay, okay, so-! Don't keep me waiting any longer!" Misha puts her hands on her hips, still grinning but giving me an expectant look nonetheless. "Shizune says it's 'Mitsue', right? I wish I'd heard about him earlier! How old is he?"

"Ten months," says Lilly.

I shrug. "Ten and a half."

Misha seems impressed for a moment. "Wow, so he really _is_ little! Is it hard, taking care of him?"

"Of course," Lilly answers with a nod. "Unbelievably so. But it's rewarding, too."

"Do you have pictures?"

"Hisao should."

Overexcited, Misha flips around to face me, visibly irritating both the women behind her.

Sayumi taps on her shoulder, growing visibly impatient. "Shii-chan, I was really hoping to have time to go out and meet some of your other friends, or-"

"We can, we can!" Misha dismisses with a wave of her hand. "You can go on ahead and get a drink or something! I'll catch up with you, okay?"

"…So you can stay here and talk… to Shizune…?"

Misha's face sinks for a moment, and she frowns apologetically. "Well, and… I wanted to catch up with Lilly, and Hicchan! We have all night, you know!"

Sayumi takes a breath and nods slowly, telegraphing pretty transparently that Misha is not getting on her good side. "Alright, fine. I'll be at the bar. Don't bother to wait up for me." Then she traipses off on her own.

I don't know Sayumi, but I feel sorry that she's been dragged into the middle of all this drama anyway. I wonder how much Misha has told her about her and Shizune's falling-out. Clearly there is subtext here that even I am lacking.

I gesture meekly after Sayumi. "Misha, we really won't be offended if you would rather go talk to-"

"No, it's okay!" Misha says hurriedly. "I'll catch up with Sayumi-chan in a minute! There's plenty of time to do everything tonight!"

Of course, I really don't think that's the issue here, but Misha is either ignorant of it or in denial.

"So, pictures!" Misha continues, after a brief awkward silence. "This is always the best thing about seeing people again after so long!"

I shrug, hesitant to encourage her.

Lilly smiles tepidly, having no better idea of how to handle this than me. I suppose this is better than whatever fight Shizune and Lilly could come up with, so I count my blessings and get out my phone to show Misha whatever baby photos I can find on it.

Lilly and Shizune stand by awkwardly as Misha pores over my phone, neither of them having any real way to engage with us. It's more than a little uncomfortable.

"Oh, _cute_!" Misha shouts, stepping away from me to repeat herself in sign language. "He looks just like his mama, huh?"

"Yeah, everyone says that, but I think it's just the blonde hair. I don't really see it. My dad says he looks just like _him_ ," I say truthfully. …Not that I don't think Mitsue would be better off inheriting his mother's looks.

"He's probably too young to look 'just like' anybody," Lilly adds.

At that, Misha snatches my phone away to get a closer look. "Hahaha! You may be right about that!"

Without asking for permission, she begins scrolling through my photos. I'm not sure whether Misha really likes kids, or if she just likes the idea of Lilly and I having one together.

Eventually Shizune's glowering starts to get to me, and I feel the urge to speak up about the first thing that comes to mind. "I was surprised to see you and Shizune together tonight." I realize almost immediately that there were probably better ways to spark a conversation than that, but it's too late.

Misha hesitates before signing this, and Shizune shrugs before responding to it. "They call it a reunion for a reason, Hicch- Hisao."

"Yeah, but it's nice to see you getting along."

"I could say the same thing about Lilly and Shizune!" Misha declares brightly, prompting a quiet sigh from Lilly. "But I'd like to think that we can all get along like adults, now that we, y'know, are!"

She grins at Shizune, who seems hesitant to respond to that. If it were anyone else, I would say that she was coming off as passive-aggressive, but Misha can be difficult to read… particularly when she's with Shizune. That said, the fact that I'm the only one she's willing to address with –chan makes the group dynamic pretty clear to everyone.

Shizune does decide on something else to say, which she signs with pursed lips. "There's no point in holding a grudge, is there? I think we should all be happy that Misha has found her way and has someone that makes her happy." Misha giggles at that, and adds, "-hey, thanks, Shizune!"

"You're right. It is hard to imagine what could possibly inspire someone to hold onto a grudge from our school years," says Lilly sardonically, her voice suddenly dripping with sarcasm even despite her pleasant attitude.

Apparently she is not pleased with Shizune for saying that. Admittedly, you could probably take 'Misha' out of her sentence and replace it with 'Lilly', and it would fit just as well… but I still find it incredibly irritating that Lilly has chosen this moment to pick a fight.

Lilly's comment is not lost on Shizune, either, who immediately rolls her eyes and prepares a response.

I couldn't be more opposed, and so against my better judgement I decide to thrust myself in the middle of it to prevent things from escalating and subsequently putting a damper on the entire evening.

"Hey, Misha; hang on a second!" I interrupt hurriedly. "Has Sayumi met Hideaki yet?"

Misha turns away from Shizune, who pouts childishly. "Oh! Just for a second… he came with Shizune!"

"If they're both hanging around the bar anyway, maybe you should introduce them! He could probably help interpret for Shizune, as well…"

She turns back to Shizune for just a second, squinting obliviously. Shizune, apparently exhausted by the whole exchange, just shrugs and signs something brief to dismiss her.

"Okay; good idea, Hicchan!" Misha exclaims. "But… I wasn't bothering you, was I?"

"Don't be silly, Misha," Lilly replies.

"Alright, alright. I just wanted to make sure!" Misha sighs and thrusts my phone into my hands, tapping on it to make a point. "In that case, Shizune and I are going to get a move on."

"Then it was good to see you again."

"Hey, don't make it a real good-bye! Stay in touch! I'd like to get the chance to properly introduce you guys to Sayumi! She's usually in a better mood than this…"

"She seems very nice, Misha," Lilly says reassuringly. "We'll do something another time. Good night to both of you."

"Okay! Another time then!" Misha claps her hands together and turns on her heel.

"Good night, Misha," I say quickly.

Shizune adjusts her glasses with an air of superiority, clearly contemplating something insulting to close out the evening with. Thankfully, Misha has already started off in the other direction, and she is forced to simply give a condescending wave to me and hope I get the message across to Lilly.

We're left alone again, and now that it's just Lilly and I, I feel justified in saying, "What a mess."

Lilly cranes her head down, giving me a small frown. "What is?"

My unimpressed frown is unfortunately lost on her. "Did you really have to try and start a fight?"

"No," she says unapologetically. "But can you blame me?"

"I do blame you."

She hesitates, taking a moment to articulate a response to that. Clearly she is not eager to have this discussion.

"Oh, come on," I say wearily. "Shizune _is_ family. I just think you should be making more of an effort to get along with her."

"If she were willing to try and make amends, I would be, too. But until then, I think it is better to be honest than to pretend to get along just in the interest of politeness."

"That sounds like an excuse to me."

Another pause.

"…You think it's none of my business," I add, to state the obvious.

"I didn't want to say that."

"Look, I don't mean to nag, but you know I'm not a good mediator. And I don't like being stuck in the middle of it."

"Well, you shouldn't _be_ stuck in the middle of it. You are supposed to be on my side."

"I am on your side…" I sigh. "Oh, Lilly…"

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, as I usually am when this subject comes up. I take a long sigh before proceeding, but before I get the chance to say anything else, Lilly rests her hand on my forearm to cut me off.

"-Hisao, wait. Before you feel guilted into apologizing." She shakes her head, swallowing her pride. "You're right. I should be trying harder to work things out. I know that this isn't something you should have to worry about, and I'm sorry."

I do feel like I deserved an apology, but I am still touched by the gesture. "…Thank you for saying that, Lilly."

She smiles lightly, apparently satisfied with that outcome. I suppose it could have gone worse, all things considered.

Over by the bar, I spot Hideaki for the first time as Misha animatedly tries to get a reaction out of him. I know the polite thing to do would be to say hello, but we barely escaped from Shizune and Misha the first time. Lilly stands idly at my side, apparently waiting for me to get a move on- but I'm not sure where to go, so we end up awkwardly standing around for a minute or two without anyone to talk to.

"Excuse me…" squeaks a quiet voice from almost directly behind me.

I would almost be startled, but the voice is so passive and unthreatening that all it does is make me feel guilty for not noticing it sooner.

So, naturally, I'm not at all surprised to turn around and find Hanako, bundled in a long-sleeved shirt and a scarf as though it was the middle of winter. Curiously, she has no hat, which means that her hair simply dangles unevenly over her face and fails to totally cover her scars. If that was intentional, then it's very good news for her- but if she simply forgot to wear one, then it's very bad news instead.

Overall, I'm not completely sure how to react.

"Hanako! Hello!" I exclaim uncertainly.

"Oh, Hanako." Lilly turns alongside me, adjusting her scarf rather conspicuously. "What a pleasant surprise!"

Hanako seems taken aback by our enthusiasm, and gives a very subtle but appreciative smile. I'm not sure if she has even noticed that Lilly is wearing the scarf she made; she seems to be a little distracted.

"Hello… I'm happy that you're both here tonight…" she says quietly, giving an awkward, formal bow that makes me laugh on instinct.

"What are we, strangers? How have you been?" I corner her with a hug, and she immediately blossoms into a full blush and stiffens up, patting me gently on the back.

"I've been good… really, really good, lately, actually…" Hanako says brightly, trying not to seem too embarrassed as I return to Lilly's side.

"That's so good to hear," Lilly says, folding her hands in front of her. "I was really hoping we would find you here, too. Your timing is impeccable."

"Well, I saw you while you were talking to Shizune, but… I didn't want to interrupt…"

"Oh, you shouldn't be worried about that."

"We probably could have used the excuse to get out of that conversation, to be honest," I chuckle, immediately prompting an apologetic frown from Hanako.

"Oh… I'm sorry; next time, I won't wait…" she murmurs.

Lilly laughs gently to put her at ease. "Please don't worry about that."

"Okay."

There's an incredibly brief but awkward pause. Lilly seems just a touch unsure of herself, probably owing to the fact that it's been a while since we last met up with Hanako in person.

"So you said things have been going well? Did anything good happen, in particular, or…?" I ask.

"Oh-! Yes!" Hanako's face lights up suddenly, remembering good news. "I met someone!"

…Well, how about that?

Lilly is genuinely shocked for a moment, and vindicated the moment after that. I'm happy for Hanako, of course, but I am not looking forward to Lilly's 'I-told-you-so', considering the conversation we had at dinner.

"Is that so?" says Lilly encouragingly. "When did this happen?"

"Last month… he's really amazing; you have to meet him!"

"We definitely should!" I add. "We can all get together next time we're going to do something-"

"No, no, I mean now!" Hanako interrupts, uncharacteristically hyperactive. She's enthusiastic about this guy, to be sure, but her behavior makes me wonder if she's had a little too much to drink. "He came with me tonight! We were with Naomi just a minute ago, but they were really getting along, so I didn't want to drag him away, and you were with Shizune when I saw you…"

"Well, by all means, we would love to meet him!" Lilly says animatedly.

"Good, okay…! Hang on!" Hanako clasps her hands together, and, after a moment to collect herself, scurries off in another direction.

"My, this is an interesting turn of events, don't you think, Hisao?" Lilly teases.

"Hey, I stand corrected. All the better for Hanako, right?"

She smirks affectionately. "Well, how big of you."

With unprecedented fervor, Hanako works her way into another crowd a good distance from us, and I spot Naomi, who is indeed speaking to a much taller man- presumably Hanako's new boyfriend. Though Naomi and I weren't actually friends at school, I still feel like I know her well purely because of how much Hanako would talk about her along with the other members of the newspaper club.

Within moments, Hanako talks the man into coming to say hello, and Naomi gives an over-the-top laugh as they break away from her. They approach us hand-in-hand.

"Hello!" the man proclaims cheerfully, stepping forward in front of Hanako to introduce himself. "You're Hisao and Lilly, right? It's so good to finally meet you!"

He pats me lightly on the shoulder and then takes Lilly's hand and kisses it, with a level of elegance that could be matched only by Lilly herself. It's the kind of gesture that would be extremely awkward and out-of-place if it had been done with even slightly less confidence, and Lilly seems immediately impressed by his boldness.

I'm stunned. He's exceptionally handsome, in a rugged, masculine sort of way, with the physique of an action movie hero. He's very fair-skinned- almost pale, in fact- which makes him look foreign, but his features are distinctly Asian. It is downright bizarre to see him standing hand-in-hand with Hanako, and though I immediately feel guilty for thinking that, I can't shake the suspicious feeling it gives me.

"The pleasure is all ours," Lilly says calmly, putting a hand to her face. "So you know us already?"

"I suppose I feel like I do! Hanako talks about you both _all_ the time, so it's like coming face-to-face with celebrities." He grins reassuringly at Hanako, who has shrunk behind him with embarrassment. After collecting himself for a moment, he shakes his head and then turns back to us. "-I'm so sorry; I really shouldn't be making assumptions! How would you like me to address you?"

"Oh, no, don't be silly. 'Hisao and Lilly' is just fine. You're close with Hanako, after all; there's no reason for unnecessary formalities."

"I'm glad to hear it!"

He smiles comfortably. He's unusually good at keeping up with Lilly- most people seem to be intimidated by her formality at first, but he absolutely takes it in stride. It's clear that they're going to get along, so I'm not sure why I still feel uneasy about it.

"What about you?" I ask after a moment, realizing that I haven't said a word since he got here.

"Hm? Oh, of course. Coen is my first name, if you'd be comfortable with that."

"Sure."

"Coen? That's certainly an unusual name," Lilly notes.

"Yes, yes. It's, um… it's Dutch. My father is South African," Coen admits, stumbling a bit, as though the fact embarrasses him. After a brief pause, realizing that nobody intends to comment on that fact, he waves his hand and laughs quietly. "-But my mother is from Taiwan, and I was born here in Japan! So… this is really home for me. Japanese is my first language."

"How interesting! You must be very worldly."

"Oh, well…"

"Oh, he is, he is!" Hanako chirps, throwing herself against his arm. "He just moved here last year from America! –And he speaks four languages!"

Lilly raises an eyebrow, impressed. "Four languages, really?"

"No, no, not four," Coen laughs. "Just three. I'm studying a fourth. I barely know it at all. Hanako, you give me too much credit!"

"What do you speak, then?"

"English, Mandarin, and Japanese, of course. And Spanish is what I'm studying now."

"Well, that's still at least one more than any of the rest of us can say about ourselves."

Coen chuckles self-consciously, clearly trying to be modest about Lilly's praise. …How respectable of him, I guess.

"Hanako tells me you're from Scotland. So… can I assume that you speak English as well?"

"I do speak English, and Hisao speaks some as well. But I'm not from Scotland, really. Some of my family is, but I've lived in Japan for most of my life."

Saying I speak 'some' English is actually pretty generous, as I only barely know enough to avoid embarrassing myself in front of Lilly's parents. I take the less respectable approach, though, and choose not to say anything about it.

"I know exactly what you mean," Coen says sympathetically. "I've always seen myself as Japanese, too, though I don't have any family here. But people will project a nationality onto you if you aren't careful."

"Yes, my family is fairly traditional that way. My father is very patriarchal, so I suppose he has claimed me in the name of Scotland, in a sense. And that is in spite of the fact that we barely even have occasion to visit any of my relatives there, including my parents, as much of a shame as that is." Lilly pauses for a moment, tilting her head down. "Thankfully, the family we have here in Japan- my two cousins, and Hisao's side of the family- they are a bit better at respecting our boundaries in that sense."

Coen thinks on that for a moment, suddenly making eye contact with me. "And Hisao, you're Japanese?"

I shrug thoughtlessly. "Through and through. If you couldn't tell from looking at me, that is…"

"I thought it might be rude to assume."

Hanako, who has been beaming basically nonstop since we ran into her, suddenly looks a little uneasy as soon as I start to talk. She's barely said a word, but that's just her style. I have about as little to say as she does, but for me, it feels very out of place.

Resting his hand affectionately over Hanako's, Coen turns back to Lilly to continue his tangent. "…Either way, though, it's interesting to meet someone else with family outside the country! I can say that in my experience, my family has given me a lot of occasion to travel, which I try not to take for granted. And Hanako is very interested in travelling, as well, so it's a common interest for us."

"Hm… no, actually, we don't travel much. It's funny; my sister is constantly flying halfway around the world and returning to Japan for her work, but we've really laid down our roots in one place," Lilly says with a small pout. "We both teach, which of course doesn't take us anywhere. Aside from that, though, I feel as though I've barely even left the house since Mitsue was born."

Coen seems momentarily surprised. "Oh, there I go assuming again. Hanako never mentioned that you have children!"

"Oh, just one, for the moment anyway."

"Lilly is expecting…" Hanako says quietly, smiling again, though softly.

"You're kidding!" Coen claps his hands together and gives me a strange look. "That's wonderful! Congratulations!"

"Thank you very much," Lilly says with a nod.

"I love kids, personally. You must be so excited!"

"Oh, believe me; not being pregnant anymore is the most exciting prospect in the world to me right now," Lilly responds with an exhausted sigh, half-joking. Nothing in the world even comes close to being as exciting, or as fatiguing, as being a parent…

Coen lets out a slightly uncomfortable laugh and turns back to Hanako, who smiles at him suspiciously. She is so entranced by this guy that it makes me wonder if she is volatile (and perhaps tipsy) enough to say something about wanting kids in front of her boyfriend of barely a month. For everyone's sake, I sincerely hope she is not.

"So you just moved to Japan last year, Coen?" I ask on a whim, to change the subject.

He seems pleased by the question. "That's right! As I said, it's where I grew up, but even still… living elsewhere for a while lends itself to culture shock regardless."

"Why did you move? Work?"

"Well, sort of." He shrugs, trying to be modest. "I was taking a stipend from my family's organization for a few years so I could do charity work in the United States."

"Wow. That's… noble."

"Ha, well… nothing lasts forever, right? So I came home hoping to start a career, because, _lord_ , is New York City ever expensive…"

"And how's that working out for you?"

"I'm… optimistic," he says with a distinct lack of optimism.

"That's probably for the best, right?"

"Yes… of course…"

Coen seems unsure of himself for the first time, but Hanako is quick to interject. "He's still hoping to travel a lot, though… he's going to take me to meet his family in Taiwan soon!"

"Really? While you're still looking for work?" asks Lilly.

"I know, I know, but we can stay with them, so it was feasible to plan," Coen replies. "And it will just be for a week or two. It should be a nice trip."

"Well, I can promise you that there is no better way to test the mettle of your relationship than a vacation out of the country."

Hanako seems a little put off by that comment, as though she fears there is some hint that Lilly may not have confidence in the 'mettle' of their relationship. I couldn't say whether or not that was true, but I do know that, ironically, Lilly would much rather Hanako not care about her approval at all.

Coen isn't similarly bothered, but nonetheless he very quickly becomes tuned into Hanako's look of concern and becomes slightly defensive as a result. "I'd like to think things have been going well so far, at least!"

"Of course. I'm sure they have. You seem quite happy together." Lilly seems to be trying to put Hanako at ease, and she knows exactly how to do it.

If only she could learn how to do that with Shizune, come to think of it, they would have a lot less conflict.

"How did you meet, if you don't mind me asking?" I ask absentmindedly.

Coen glances briefly at Hanako. "At the library, believe it or not."

"Yeah, that's not hard to believe."

…I knew I was onto something with that.

"It would probably have been my first guess," says Lilly lightheartedly. "Do you spend a lot of time reading?"

"Probably too much," he laughs.

"Well, you're not alone! Hisao and Hanako both spend almost all of their free time behind a book."

"There are worse ways to spend your time, as far as I'm concerned."

Clinging to Coen's arm, Hanako smiles optimistically at me, presumably excited by the idea that we might have some common ground. I don't like the idea of having to be friends with this guy, whom I still find rather disingenuous and off-putting, but even still I would really hate to take the wind out of Hanako's sails. It's very encouraging, and unfortunately unusual, to see her with so much enthusiasm. Besides, I _am_ the one who thought this was a good idea for her in the first place, so I should probably try not to be the first one to discourage her.

"I hope you guys aren't leaving for your trip too soon," I say after a moment of thought.

"Not for a few weeks. Why?" Coen asks.

Lilly seems surprised that I said anything, and interjects quickly. "Oh, of course; I'd completely forgotten. Akira is here for the week, and she was hoping we would bring Hanako over for dinner some time during her trip."

"Oh… of course…!" Hanako glances briefly at Coen. "This weekend would probably be easiest, but whenever you'd like, I would love to…"

"Excellent. We would love to have you both, in that case, if you can find the time."

Coen frowns hesitantly, though he seems like he's just putting on airs to be polite. "I'm flattered by the invitation, really, but I'd hate to intrude, especially if you have other family over…"

"Oh, you don't have to worry about Akira. She's very laid-back, and she'd love to meet you," I say honestly, speaking from my gut. "She's a close friend of Hanako's as well. You wouldn't be intruding at all."

"Yes, Hisao is right." Lilly seems pleased with me, and smiles brightly in Coen's direction. "Remember what I said about unnecessary formality! You're absolutely welcome, and we would love to have you."

"Thank you so much." Coen smiles affectionately at Hanako, who herself is absolutely radiant. "I'll look forward to it, then. I hope we can keep in touch until then!"

"Of course."

Coen is relaxed for a moment, but starts after a quick glance at his watch. "Unbelievable! When did it pass seven o'clock? Time has really been flying tonight…"

"I hope we're not keeping you from anything."

"No, no, I was just thinking out loud. If anything, I was going to say the same thing to you. After all, you are the ones that went to school here. I thought you may have some other people to catch up with."

"Yes, so you would think… I would have expected someone to approach us by now. It seems everyone is keeping to themselves tonight, assuming I am not simply a forgettable person…"

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind it if you approached them first, as long as you recognized them! It _is_ sort of the point of a class reunion, right?"

"Well, that is probably what we would be doing, but the problem is that Hisao didn't transfer to Yamaku until his senior year, so he doesn't know most of my friends from high school. And obviously, as much as I'd like to, I couldn't exactly do it myself…" Lilly laughs self-consciously, probably frustrated with herself for drawing attention to something her blindness keeps her from doing.

Coen takes a second to understand what she's talking about, and seems suddenly alarmed, looking into Lilly's eyes as though realizing her lack of eye contact for the first time. "Oh, yes; I hadn't even thought of that! I'm so sorry for suggesting something like that; how thoughtless of me…"

"Please, Coen, don't try to change your speech because of me. I'd rather not be treated differently," Lilly explains with a patient smile. "And besides, the majority of people here are physically disabled one way or another. You couldn't properly filter yourself even if you tried."

Look a bit disheveled, he glances to me with a curious expression before turning back to Lilly. "Right, of course. Forgive me."

"I'm not offended. Please don't worry yourself about it."

Coen seems a little at a loss for words for the first time. I don't know how to feel about it, but I have to admit that something about him still bothers me. He seems a little fake, I guess, as opposed to Hanako, who is so unconditionally genuine and unpretentious.

Our brief silence is interrupted when a microphone screech cuts into the room and silences most of the commotion. "Uh, hi- uh, hello everyone… good evening."

It's a familiar voice, and I turn towards the front to see Oikawa, the head of Yamaku's History department- and rival of my boss, Mutou. It occurs to me that someone was slated to give a speech tonight, but I had been under the impression it would be one of the former students. Oikawa is probably the worst public speaker I know, so I can't believe he is the one they asked to give it.

Oikawa takes a brief pause, as though he is genuinely waiting for a response. Obviously, nobody else in the room has anything to add, so he continues after an awkward few moments. "…Er, so, thanks for coming out. I didn't teach when you all went here ten years back, so… I know you all probably don't much care to hear from me, heh… heh heh…"

He wipes sweat off of his forehead and adjusts the microphone. I brace myself: knowing Oikawa, this is what the whole thing is going to be like.

"Uh, s-so, anyway, we just wanted to take the opportunity to reflect on things, uh, a little bit. I- uh, we got in contact with one of the graduates from your year, and I know he has a speech prepared; just a little something to, eh… to do that. So I don't want to hold that up any longer. Without further ado, um… Kenji Setou, everybody. I'm sure many of you remember him… so…"

A scrawny man in a bold white tuxedo slips into the foreground, and there is a brief, muffled exchange between him and Oikawa. Kenji Setou… I had assumed he would be in some subterranean apocalypse shelter or insane asylum by now.

…I miss Oikawa's speech already.

"Thanks, thanks; alright, take a seat, buddy," laughs the man who is allegedly Kenji, patting Oikawa on the back as he takes center stage. "So, yeah, hi, everyone. I'm Kenji; you may remember me, you may not. Either way, welcome back to Yamaku. I'd say you all look well, but according to my optometrist I think that would probably just be a 50/50 guess."

His joke actually gets a good amount of laughter out of the audience. He adjusts his glasses coolly- they're thin and frameless, and surprisingly fashionable. He is shockingly well-dressed, and the way he carries himself makes him seem completely normal and relaxed.

I guess people really can change.

"I know what you're all thinking," Kenji declares with a dismissive hand wave. "What's with this asshole in the suit? Why are we trapped here listening to this? Nobody came here for a lecture, right? We graduated so we could be done with them." He shakes his head dramatically, chuckling to himself. "Well, this is only going to take a couple of minutes; I know we're all still catching up. I just want to make a little statement, maybe create a little perspective. Because this is about more than just catching up, isn't it? This isn't just some party. And God knows we don't need an excuse to get drunk with our friends."

He holds out his hand, and Oikawa passes him a bottle of water, which he takes a long drink from. "No, no, there's _meaning_ behind this, right?! This _represents_ something. Something more than, 'look, we're all still around.' We didn't just graduate from high school, we graduated from _Yamaku_. And that means something." He takes another drink. "Alright, alright, do me a favor. I want you to picture, just for a second, your first day at Yamaku. It's something I'm sure everyone can remember, right? Does an image strike you? There was- _is_ \- an atmosphere here, a distinct one. No matter what your background is, no matter how you ended up here, there is a reaction that I'm sure we can all share. Canes, and dark glasses, and bandages, and prosthetics. It's a strange feeling to become a part of a place like that. Even if you yourself are 'healthy', so to speak, you became _enculturated_. It's the structure of this place. It's how engrossed you felt in everyone's health, and in trying to pretend to be 'normal'. For some, it was new, and for some, I'm sure it had followed you your whole life. But it was there, right?"

He shrugs and takes another sip of water.

It is an interesting point to make, to be sure, made twice as interesting by the fact that Kenji is the one making it. His constant shutting himself in his dorm room, combined with his intense, irrational suspicion of everyone else, would have lead me to believe that he would never have even attempted to think about something like this.

"Now think on your first week. Your first month. The people you met. People that you're probably surrounded by right now!" He does a broad gesture with his arms. "How long did you spend thinking about all that other nonsense before you had to start stressing out about a test, or getting to club meetings, or making friends? Think about how quickly it turned normal for you. You may have had to go to the nurse every day. You may have had to take three dozen pills before every meal. Who knows? But that's got nothing to do with your memories of this place, or of your education, does it? You _did_ make those friends, you _did_ take those tests, and at the end of the day, you got along fine. And here we are, ten years later, and, well, damn, there's canes and dark glasses and bandages and prosthetics here, too, but that's got nothing to do with it, does it? That's not why we all came tonight."

He shakes his head a little neurotically and hands the water back, gripping the microphone with both hands. "Okay, where am I going with this…? Listen. They called me up and asked me to give a full-fledged speech. They wanted me to talk about my organization and the charities it gives to. Rattle off names, do some gloating. They wanted me to talk about the kids I'm giving a second chance, because those charities are paying their tuition here. But I thought that would miss the point. 'Cause, shit, who am I giving a second chance? Who is Yamaku giving a second chance, for that matter? That's not what this reunion is about. Not second chances. It's not about making up for our 'problems'. Playing catch-up. It's about… adapting."

He sighs loudly into the microphone, leaning back on an unoccupied table. Dramatically removing his glasses, he makes a serious face as though to seem down-to-Earth. "I don't want people to look at my achievements and say, 'Wow, look at how Kenji overcame the odds. Look at how much a Yamaku kid was able to accomplish.' No, that's the wrong mindset altogether. Because, say what you will about what I've done with my life… the real accomplishment is one that everyone here has done. I _adapted_. I'm a part of the world. A regular guy. It's not because I got a second chance, and it's not because I played catch-up. It's just because… I _adapted_. And everyone here has done that. That's what we should be commemorating tonight. Commemorate all the little things in your life you have to be proud of. The _normal_ things. Your husband or wife. Your kids. Your career. That's the point of this. Be glad that Yamaku gave you the space to do it, but don't give anyone credit for what you've done. Because you adapted, too. _That_ is the point of this. And the only thing I want to do is make sure everyone here realizes that."

He puts his glasses back on and takes a dramatic pause, to rousing applause. I am left too thoroughly disoriented to participate, even though the speech itself was excellent- and kind of moving.

Lilly is not, and claps politely along with the rest of the crowd. Coen hesitates, and only claps a few moments after Lilly does. I guess he suddenly feels on edge about how he is supposed to behave in front of us.

I wonder what he's like in private, with Hanako. He must have done a good enough job at not alienating her at first, which feels ironic, considering that I would think she would be the one that you would have to tread lightest around. But then again, I don't really know what Hanako is like in private these days, either. There was a time in not-too-distant memory when someone as outspoken as Coen would barely have been able to get the time of day from her.

"Okay, okay, that's my cue, right? Yeah, my fault for saying 'a couple minutes'," Kenji laughs. "Fine, fine, I'll just say this. It's a beautiful night out, so if you want to get some air, the grounds are completely open for the rest of the evening. High elevation here, so it's good for your lungs. And if you're worried about students… well, most of the kids are gone for the summer, but if you see one, just give 'em a dirty look and tell 'em it'll be their turn next decade." He raises an arm to gesture toward the bar. "Enjoy the open bar; that's totally on me. Be nice to the poor kid, he's been in that suit for four hours now. Aaaand… that's all. Have a good night, everybody!"

The lights flicker back on over the rest of the room as Oikawa takes the microphone back from Kenji, bookending the speech with another loud screech of mic feedback. After a few minutes of getting back to normal, everyone gathers up again and gets back to fraternizing, though I notice a handful of couples heading out the double doors, presumably at Kenji's recommendation to walk around the campus.

Lilly turns slightly towards me, speaking rather quietly. "Is that the Kenji I'm thinking of…?"

"Yes. Yes, it is," I reply.

"From the way you used to talk about him…"

"I know; I'm just as confused as you. It's like he's a completely different person."

"It's strange, because in my class he was always very polite and respectful." She puts a hand to her face thoughtfully. "Maybe the way he acted around you was some kind of practical joke?"

"That would be a pretty overly drawn-out joke…"

She purses her lips with confusion. "Well, maybe he just has a strange sense of humor."

"I don't… think…"

I trail off a little, doing my best to recall my high school interactions with Kenji. All of a sudden, I'm starting to reevaluate everything I thought I knew about him, and it is starting to become disconcerting.

Anyway, it's probably for the best that he got his life on track, and I suppose I should respect him for it. It's admirable to try and become a better (or at least saner) person, and if he can do it, then anyone can.

I realize after a few moments that Hanako and Coen are completely out of the loop about what Lilly and I were talking about, and as such they seem to have moved on to some other conversation topic altogether.

Coen catches me watching the two of them and gets my attention. "Did you know the grounds were open to the returning graduates? I had assumed that they wouldn't be, since some students are staying on campus for the summer."

"Well, yeah. That's what I was told," I say with a shrug. "I do work here, after all."

"…Oh! I had no idea!" He glances at Hanako for a split second. "Well, maybe you could tell us, then! Do you know any particularly nice spots on campus, or around it…?"

"Uh, I don't know… why do you ask? You guys aren't going to stick around here?"

"Well, er, we thought we might go somewhere a bit more… private… for a while…"

Hanako looks extremely embarrassed all of a sudden, which makes Coen chuckle.

Lilly smiles firmly. "Funny, it hadn't even occurred to me, considering this is such a public event, but I suppose you two are out on a proper date tonight, aren't you?"

"I would have supposed the same thing of you both!"

They share a brief laugh, but Lilly pauses for a moment as though she is actually fond of the idea. It occurs to me that this whole event probably feels much more special to her than it does to me, considering she hasn't actually been on Yamaku's campus in ages. Thinking about it does make me kind of nostalgic, though; I have a lot of fond memories of time I spent here with Lilly.

I snap myself out of it just long enough to answer Coen's question. "Well, anyway, there's the path out into the woods around back that people almost never go to, but it may be kind of hard to navigate in the dark. If you're just looking for a place to spend some time together, though, there are shops and things in town." I look directly at Hanako for a moment, a thought occurring to me. "Although the Shanghai closed down a few years back, unfortunately."

"Oh… that's too bad…" Hanako murmurs.

"I'm sure you guys could find a place if you went into town, though."

"There's no harm in trying," says Coen. "Thank you for the suggestion, Hisao. It sure is nice to have someone who knows the area!"

"Sure. No problem."

He gestures toward the doorway, striking a confident pose. "It was so nice to meet you both! I hope that eventually you will be able to consider me as close of a friend as you do Hanako."

Lilly nods encouragingly. "I certainly hope so, as well. It was lovely to meet you, Coen."

"Have a good night, you guys," I add.

Coen nods again and takes a step toward the doorway.

Hanako hangs behind only for a second, smiling appreciatively. "Thank you so much for the invitation to dinner… I'll really be looking forward to it…"

"Of course. We'll keep in touch," says Lilly.

I smile gently at her. "Good night, Hanako."

"Good night, Hisao. Good night, Lilly…"

Hanako takes a deep breath, settling herself a little, and then scurries off after Coen, who looks very pleased to see her in such high spirits. I still feel odd about him, but I feel good about how I handled the situation. I'm curious to see how Coen will react when he meets Akira later in the week.

Lilly holds onto my arm gently, and I chuckle quietly. "Wow, he is… not what I would have expected."

"You are remarkably transparent sometimes, Hisao."

"What do you mean?"

She smirks lightly, as though I should already know, and proceeds to sidestep the question. "Regardless of how you feel about him, I appreciate that you were so hospitable. Personally, I am very impressed with Hanako. I thought he was extremely charming."

"Yeah, I could tell."

"You don't have to say it like that."

"Like how?"

"Like you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" She doesn't respond right away, and lets me contemplate it during the silence. Eventually, I add, "…The hand kiss was a little weird."

"I thought it was flattering. He was trying to impress us."

"And it worked, evidently."

"Oh, for goodness's sake, Hisao. You don't have to be so insecure around me."

"Well, forgive me, but I can't help but feel a little insecure when we're talking about a guy that you really like who is basically just me but well-spoken and classy. …And charitable."

…Hang on.

"…And foreign. And inhumanly attractive. Oh my God." I blink once. "No wonder you like him so much. He's not me; he's you."

Lilly seems almost at a loss for words for a moment. "Oh, dear."

"…Well, Hanako certainly has a type…"

"You're being too cynical. Just be happy for her."

"I _am_ happy for her." I pause for a second, trying to be considerate. "I am. Really."

"Good. Then we should leave it at that, and not overthink things. I don't think it's our place to disapprove, no matter what our opinions are."

"I don't mean to… oh… alright. Fair enough."

"I realize that your intentions are good. I have always found your concern for Hanako to be touching. I just think that we need to keep our respectful distance on this." She hesitates for just a second before continuing. "And I do see the resemblance, to be fair. Although, I have to say, if he's really _me_ , then I would certainly hope that you would like him a little more than you do."

"More like he's trying to be you. A pale imitation of you. …Literally, at that."

"…An 'inhumanly attractive' one?"

"…Okay, I guess that part was more directed towards you."

"You are truly a master of seduction, as always, Hisao," she says wryly.

"You could at least pretend."

She sighs gently and leans into me a little, looking tired. I'm disappointed that the night hasn't gone exactly as she expected. I wonder if the fact that nobody has apparently recognized her is more of a blow to her pride than she is letting on. It does seem a little strange, after all, that Hanako would have more occasion to meet up with people than Lilly would.

After a short while, Lilly straightens herself out and turns toward me, thoughtful. "Are we on a date right now?"

"Hm? I don't know. I guess so?"

"Coen apparently assumed we were. And I feel like we should be making more of an effort to do that sort of thing, especially considering how little time we get to spend alone together these days."

"I don't know, we already go everywhere and do everything together. We don't really go on dates anymore."

"Well, we should. I'd like to, anyway. Wouldn't you like to?"

"-No goddamned way!"

It's a man's voice that interrupts us, and it's loud enough to startle me just as much as it does Lilly. I had almost managed to forget we were in the middle of a crowded space.

"Who said that?" Lilly snaps suddenly, a bit irritated at being taken by surprise.

"Oh, I'm sorry to startle you!"

We are approached suddenly by a small crowd of people that are apparently stalking around the reunion as a group. The man in front waves slightly to me before turning to Lilly and continuing his introduction.

"Lilly Satou, right? It's Masaaki! Shunichi and Yuho are here, too. I hope you haven't forgotten us after all this time!"

Lilly seems marginally surprised, but catches herself quickly. "Oh, no, of course not! It's good to meet you all again!"

The two in the back- Shunichi and Yuho, I guess- simultaneously say "hello" and shrink to either side of Masaaki, who stands confidently in the front. Apparently he knows Lilly the best, or at least is the most talkative of the group.

"It's been a long night, trying to track down everyone from Student Council. So many people showed up to this!"

"You're right; I have to admit, I was surprised to find such a crowd here. I'm glad you took the time to track us down, though." Lilly gestures toward me, smiling politely. "I'd like to introduce you to my husband, Hisao. Satou is my maiden name now, so you can refer to us both with Nakai if you'd like."

Masaaki flashes me a grin. "Good to meet you, Hisao."

I get nothing but waves and inaudible murmuring from the other two people in the group. I hope I'm not coming off as unapproachable…

"Hi, everyone," I say uncertainly. "You're old friends of Lilly's?"

"That's right. From Student Council, ages and ages ago."

"Hisao is actually a Yamaku graduate, as well," Lilly interjects. "He transferred in our senior year, so we had all already left the Student Council by then."

"So this is your high school boyfriend? No kidding?"

"Yeah, yeah. Nakai," Yuho adds quietly. "That does sound right to me."

"Yes, I would hope that I would have at least mentioned that he existed back then," says Lilly with a small laugh.

I don't really have any idea of how to respond, since I don't know anyone in the crowd. They are all school friends of Lilly's, I suppose, but I never met any of them. And I was certainly never in the Student Council.

"Did you guys come here with Shizune?" Masaaki asks after a moment.

"No, we came separately, but she is here if you wanted to say hello. But I thought you had something of a falling-out with her…"

"That's ancient history, Lilly," says Shunichi. "We already spoke to her. She told us you were here!"

"Oh. Well, I'm glad you had the opportunity."

"Yeah, well, it was kind of a disaster, to tell you the truth," Masaaki says tiredly. "She was pissed about something. Did you know that she and Mikado are like, enemies now?"

"Oh, goodness, what happened…?"

"They were fighting about something. God knows what. Best not to get involved in that juvenile kind of drama as far as I'm concerned."

"Did it seem harsh? I _knew_ it was a bad idea for them to try and act friendly tonight…"

"It seemed kind of bad," says Yuho.

"Yeah, I mean, I don't know," Masaaki says with a shrug. "It's kinda hard to tell exactly what's going on in a sign language argument. Probably just Shizune being a bitch, as usual. I totally get why you find her so grating."

For someone who apparently hates drama, Masaaki seems eager to stir it up. I am glad to be on the outside of this one.

Lilly pauses before speaking, looking suddenly offended, to my genuine surprise. "…I beg your pardon?"

Masaaki straightens out suddenly. "What do you mean?"

"Masaaki, that was completely inappropriate!"

"…What, you're telling me you _don't_ think Shizune is a bitch? You guys have been fighting since the eleventh grade, for God's sake…"

"I… that is my cousin that you're talking about! She is a part of my family! You can't possibly expect me to…"

Lilly trails off, in disbelief. The sudden tone shift has made everybody visibly uncomfortable. Masaaki looks like a kid that just got dragged into the principal's office.

After a moment to recalibrate, Lilly shakes her head and turns a bit, trying to direct her words at Yuho and Shunichi. "I'm sorry, but would you please _excuse_ the two of us for a few moments?"

Looking alarmed, the two of them mutter apologies and slip away. Masaaki looks very unhappy about being abandoned.

Lilly turns to me slightly, speaking much more quietly. "I'm sorry, Hisao. I'll be with you in a minute?"

"Oh. Um." I scratch uncomfortably behind my head. "Sure thing."

Then I wander off by myself, surprised. I hadn't realized at first that I was being kicked out along with the other two, and for some reason I am a little hurt, at least for a second or two.

Lilly starts on some kind of tirade, evidently _furious_ but quiet and subtle nonetheless. I can't believe that she got so upset in defense of Shizune, of all people. It occurs to me after a moment that she is probably trying to make more of an effort to be conscious of their relationship just because I asked her to, and the sudden thought of it is very moving and makes me sentimental. Sometimes I feel like the luckiest man in the world to be married to someone so considerate of my feelings.

Left to my own devices, and feeling desperate for something to do besides eavesdrop on Lilly and Masaaki, I wander a little from them and realize just how alienated I feel from the overall crowd. I would like to start a conversation with somebody else, just so I don't look like such a loner.

After a moment of searching, I finally spot Kenji, slumped against a wall in the corner of the room like he is hiding from the crowd. Since he is alone, I suppose he is as good of a candidate as any, so I approach him, trying to make myself as visible as possible to account for his eyesight.

He seems briefly startled, but says nothing as I approach, so I start. "Kenji, hello! It's been a long time!"

"Oh, it's you, Haruto," he says quickly, standing up straight suddenly and giving me a curt wave. "I thought you were one of the help."

"Uh… no, it's Hisao, actually."

"Yeah, I _know_ your surname, Haruto, but this is a big event with a lot of strangers and we are supposed to pretend to be friends."

I am briefly taken aback. "I- what? No, it's Hisao."

"For Christ's sake." He adjusts his glasses and makes some kind of nonsensical hand gesture at me. "Do you know the goddamn night I'm having? I cannot deal with your goddamn shit right now. I do not care how you want me to address you; I am going to call you Haruto because that is what I am goddamn supposed to do!"

"Wh- Kenji, what the hell are you talking about? My name is _Hisao Nakai_. I don't know who Haruto is…"

He freezes, appalled. He takes a moment to think, then immediately thrusts himself to put us face-to-face and adjusts his glasses. "Oh. Oh… oh my God. I am so sorry."

"I… uh…"

"I am so sorry. I thought you were someone else."

After a few moments of looking genuinely frightened, he completely turns his persona on its head, returning to the stylish sort of smile he made when he gave his speech.

I am almost too bewildered to speak. "That's. Uh. That's okay, Kenji."

"I've had a really long night."

"That's okay."

"I don't think the people here are 'the help'. I mean, God, how pretentious would you have to be to say something like that, right? I would never say something like that."

"I don't… I mean… but… you literally just said that, though. You used those exact words."

He narrows his eyes, looking stunned. "Did I? I think you misheard me. I would never say something like that."

"Yes, you did."

"But did I?"

"…Yes."

"Alright, that's a fair point. I can understand your point of view."

"It's not- look, it doesn't matter. I don't care about that, Kenji. I just came over to say that I liked your speech…"

"Oh, did you? Thanks; my intern wrote that."

"I thought that was unscripted…"

"Ha! Unscripted! You're funny, Hiroshi."

"Hisao."

"Yeah, that too." He adjusts his glasses, apparently relieved to move on from the previous subject. "I really liked the speech, personally, but he took out the part about my statue, even though I specifically told him to add it in. And I didn't have time to revise the speech myself this week."

"Your statue?"

"Yeah, I'm having a statue of myself put in near the place where I work. Apparently the water lines didn't line up, so it couldn't be a fountain."

"That's, uh, neat…"

"Thanks, it's pretty great. I've always seen myself as a 'statue' kind of person, you know? So it's about time someone recognized me for my achievements."

I feel more than vindicated for being suspicious of him now. It's funny how much time numbed me to Kenji's sheer insanity. I'm a little surprised that he doesn't seem to remember me, but then I suppose there was no real chance of him recognizing me by my appearance alone.

"You're pretty cool; you know that, dude?" Kenji fixes his glasses, seeming to relax a little. "It's so hard to tell what kinds of people you're going to run into at this kind of thing. This place is full of crazies. I just _hate_ those art people, you know?"

"What art people?"

"You know. Art people. Those kinds of people who think they're better than everyone else just because they get their jollies by staring at paint on a canvas."

"Oh. Uh. Yeah. I guess I understand that. I don't think I really understand art, personally."

"You know what? You get it. You get it, man. You're one of the good ones."

"…Thank you?"

"Yeah."

Kenji punches me in the arm, which I guess is supposed to be a friendly gesture, but he does it much too hard, and it ends up just making my arm sore.

"Look at 'em. You can pick some of them out just from the way they carry themselves." Kenji gestures to the crowd with a broad, sweeping gesture. After a few moments of analysis, he settles on Lilly, who is still talking to Masaaki, although she seems to have calmed down a little. "Lilly Satou," Kenji identifies. "Femme fatale. Did you know she's a communist? A rich communist, too; what irony."

I'm impressed that he can even tell who she is from this distance, let alone that he still remembers her after all this time, but I feel like there are more pressing issues at the moment.

"…Uh, I don't think she's a communist, Kenji."

"They actually hire a lot of blind people. Blind people make great spies. Did you know that?"

"Wait, what? Who hires blind people?"

"The KGB. Try to keep up, dude."

"…I don't think there _is_ a KGB anymore."

"So naiive…" He cups his hand around his ear to make a point. "They're listening to us, man. Smartphones and shit. They have access to any information they want. They know your browsing history. All your deepest, darkest secrets." He gestures to Lilly again. "She's probably listening in on us right now. Recording this entire conversation."

"I don't think she is."

"They have sonar hearing. Like bats. It's, like, a hundred times better than our hearing, trust me. They can tell if you're lying from your heartbeat," Kenji mutters, scratching his chin. "I never trusted her, the sneaky bitch…"

"…Yeah, okay, that's my wife, Kenji. And she's not even Russian; she's Scottish."

He freezes in place again, only turning his head to glance back and forth between Lilly and I. I would probably be much more offended if I weren't so thoroughly confused.

After being completely silent for over a minute, he finally looks me straight in the eye and smiles disingenuously. "…She's a lovely woman."

"I… you just called her a sneaky bitch."

He blinks once. "Yeah… I respect that, you know? Russia is a great country. They really keep their shit under control. The Russians are tough bitches. Tough, sneaky bitches."

"You are a terrible liar."

"What, you think you're better than me?"

The tone shift is extremely abrupt, so much so that I am barely able to react to it. Kenji is suddenly red in the face, and I have no idea why that in particular set him off.

"What? No! What are you talking about?"

"You think you're better than me, just because of your perfect eyesight, and your slick, casual bedhead, and your hot Soviet wife! Well, I'm not impressed! I make more in two hours than you make in a year, buddy! This tuxedo is worth more than your house!"

"She's Scottish, and I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Why are you so upset?"

"Why am I upset? Gee, I don't know! Maybe I have a good goddamn reason to be upset! Maybe I thought you were cool! Maybe I thought I could confide in you! Maybe I just spent the past _four goddamn months_ of my life trying to learn about a bunch of _stupid,_ _bullshit_ ,abstract art that I can barely even goddamn _see_ , because of one goddamn painting that I bought while I was _stoned out of my mind_ , so that I can talk to a delusional painter that I cannot goddamn _understand_ , so that I can impress a bunch of dumbass investors that _I don't even goddamn like_ , so that I can contribute to a system that is making me lose my mind and is going to run our entire goddamn _country_ into the ground!"

"…What?"

" _I can't do this anymore!_ Do you understand me? I can't deal with these people!"

"Deal with what people?"

"Money consumes you, do you get that? It eats you alive from the inside out! All these people, they're like shells of themselves. Just gone. _I'm_ gone. My mind is gone! I can't see anymore!"

"I thought you were blind."

" _Legally_ blind! Good God, man! And _metaphorically_ blind! There are so many Kenjis! So many! How do I even know who I'm looking at in the mirror in the morning? Don't you understand?"

"No. No, I do not. Not even close."

With one sudden, frighteningly aggressive gesture, Kenji throws himself forward and grabs me by the shirt collar, pulling me in uncomfortably close. His cologne burns my nostrils.

"How do I know, when I look into the mirror, and my breath fogs everything up, and I see that colorful blob staring back at me through the void? How do I know who that is? How do I know which Kenji that is? Good lord, _I don't even know who I am anymore_!"

Kenji releases me, and I stumble backwards, completely and utterly speechless.

"Listen to me," he says with a bizarre, measured calmness. "You're one of the lucky ones. You're a good guy. There's still time for you. You go get your hot wife. Go back to Siberia. Live in the mountains or something. Live a peaceful life. Worldly possessions are a scourge on mankind. A scourge."

"She's Scottish, but… okay?"

"Good man. Good man." He takes a deep breath, apparently starting to settle down, and wanders past me, patting me on the shoulder. "Christ, what does a guy have to do to get a tranquilizer around here?"

He wanders off, like he forgot I was standing there.

Seems about right, for a reunion with Kenji, anyway.

After a few moments, and a good pinch on the arm to remind myself that I'm not dreaming, my eyes wander back to Lilly. Masaaki is nowhere to be seen, and I realize that I basically abandoned her without a guide. Still, no doubt she had a better time on her own than I did, so it's hard to feel guilty about it.

"Lilly," I call out sheepishly.

"There you are," she says with a sigh. "I'm sorry; that took longer than I anticipated."

"It's fine. Are you alright…?"

"Yes, of course. I just really felt like I had to say something. Masaaki can be really tone-deaf sometimes. Can you believe he said that?"

"Yeah, uh, I don't know. But I'm glad you got it sorted out. Is there a reason you didn't want me to be there?"

She thinks for a moment, then waves her hand. "I'm not sure. I suppose I didn't want to lower your opinion of me."

"There isn't much you could do that would do that."

"Hm." She turns to the side and grabs onto my arm again, smiling fondly. "Let's go for a walk."

"Why?"

"Excuse me?" she scoffs jokingly.

"I was just wondering if there was any particular reason."

"I would like to go for a walk with my husband. Do I need a reason?"

"Uh. No, no, I guess not." I glance over toward the bar. I have no idea where Kenji wandered off to. "I, uh, I guess I'm just feeling a little suspicious of everything right now."

"Really? Why is that?"

"…No reason."

She obviously doubts that, but if she is curious about my actual reasoning, she doesn't make it known to me.

At her prompting, I lead Lilly out through the entrance of the cafeteria and onto the school grounds, which are now sparsely populated with graduates from the reunion. The sun has now long set, and it is very dark, lit only by a few streetlights laid intermittently along the path. It's beautiful out in the moonlight, and peaceful in the kind of way that makes you forget that you're not alone.

Lilly clings to my side like she's eager to go somewhere or do something, but I don't have any actual destination in mind as I lead her along the path. It feels good to just be able to relax after having to deal with all these people.

"It sure has been a long day," I say to the air, after a few minutes of walking around in silence. "New people are exhausting."

"Don't get all negative now. We're on a date." Lilly puts her hand on my shoulder and turns me around to face her.

Her head is tilted a little downward so that her line of sight would be around my chest. I wonder briefly if it looks strange to anyone who can see the two of us right now…

"We are? When was that established?" I ask facetiously.

"It's been established. I hope it isn't going to be a problem for you, Hisao…"

"No. Not a problem. I am just curious as to why you seem to be so invested in the idea."

"Of course you are. Because it is one of the world's great mysteries, how anyone could possibly be in love with Hisao Nakai of all people, isn't that right?" With her typical forwardness, she kisses me, wrapping both arms around the back of my neck to pull me towards her. "Now… say something romantic."

Oh, dear. "Uh. I. Think. That." I allow myself a sigh. "…I don't know. Don't put me on the spot like that."

"What about, 'I love you'?"

"Well, that's not really _romantic_ , just because it's true."

"It's _supposed_ to be true, Hisao."

"But saying 'I love you' is kind of mundane, don't you think? I say that to you all the time. I say that to my parents, you know? I say that to Mitsue. I would rather think of something that I would only say to _you_. Now that we're on a date."

"Well, that's very sweet of you." She shrugs slightly, now raising an eyebrow at me. "But that means you now have to come up with something."

"Right now?"

"Yes."

"Fine." I take a breath, doing my best to read the situation. "You… are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, and I am constantly in awe of you."

She thinks on that with a smile for a moment, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "You spend so much time telling me how beautiful I am."

"Well, I think it would be dishonest to do anything else."

"You should come up with a compliment that I can just as easily return."

"That sounds a bit self-indulgent." I chuckle to myself. "Besides, I already know that you think I'm handsome."

She smiles at that and pulls her arms away from my neck. Instead, she rests them against my chest so she can run her hands across my face. If any spectators weren't confused before, they definitely are now.

"Oh, goodness, you need to shave," Lilly laughs quietly.

"I know, I know; I was busy with Mitsue this morning and forgot. But I kind of like it like this. It's five o'clock shadow. I think it makes me look manlier."

"You are perfectly manly, Hisao."

"I dunno."

She laughs openly at me, but I suppose that's more flattering than anything.

After a while, she finally pulls her hands away from me, though she stays just as close as she was before.

"What do you think?" I ask lightheartedly. "Am I as handsome as I was when we first met?"

"More," she says with a confident nod.

"Really? It's the five o'clock shadow, isn't it?"

She smiles and then pauses and shakes her head, becoming a bit more serious than before. "No. It's the way you carry yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"You've found yourself. You know what kind of person you want to be now. It makes you seem much more confident than before. It's very attractive."

It's a very sincere compliment, and I'm a little lost at how to respond to it at first. "Thank you, Lilly…"

She tilts her head to the side a little bit. The fact that she is beautiful is still the first compliment that comes to mind when I look at her, and I appreciate that I can tell her that without even the slightest trace of insincerity. Still, there are a hundred other compliments I could come up with aside from that… the only problem is, I don't know how many she could easily return. She sets the bar pretty high for comparison, in any respect.

This time I kiss her. It does take her a little by surprise, but she seems to appreciate the gesture.

I pull away only barely, to keep my face close to hers. "I love you."

She waits for a moment, then places her hands over mine and steps away from me. "…Well, I would say that was pretty romantic, wouldn't you?"

"Yes; I was wrong. Again."

"Tell me something, Hisao." With sudden urgency, she pulls me along by the hand onto the grass, gesturing out towards nothing in particular. "The sun is long down by now, isn't it? It seems like we're nearly alone out here. Is it pretty out? Describe it to me."

It certainly is- that's my first thought, at least. It's not often I'm out here with clear skies and a full moon. The moonlight reflects off of the grass in a way that feels kind of spectacular and beautiful.

I glance over to Lilly, who stays turned out toward the campus with a completely innocent smile.

"…You're testing me!"

She seems surprised, and turns toward me suddenly. "Hm?"

"This is a test, Lilly. You're _testing_ me!"

Just like that, her expression immediately morphs into a guilty frown, and she turns back.

"I'm not going to dignify it with a response," I continue, scandalized.

"Well… then I suppose that means you pass, doesn't it?" Lilly replies approvingly.

"What would you have said?" I pull on her shoulder a bit. "What would you have said if I had just told you?"

She smiles with amusement, not turning. "I don't know. I was just curious to see how you would respond."

"As though I don't understand you well enough by now."

"I know you do. You understand me better than anyone I know. That is one of the things I love about you."

"Then why the testing?"

"I like to reaffirm it, I suppose." She puts a hand to her face. "…I'm not going to apologize."

"I wasn't going to ask you to."

She laughs, clinging to my arm a little. "…Well, I would have, if you had."

I wonder if being back at Yamaku is putting her in an unusually good mood. Maybe it's the air? Kenji said- or, rather, Kenji's intern said, I guess- that it was good for you at this elevation. If that's it, maybe I could get her to come work here, after all.

Either way, it will be a long time before that would even come up, as she's only in the very beginning of her pregnancy. There's still a long way to go.

I guess I'm feeling kind of sentimental again.

"Okay. Now it's my turn to say something outrageous."

She hesitates for only a second, a bit concerned but still affectionate. "I suppose that is fair."

"I was feeling a little guilty. Earlier on today. I'm not sure why, really. Maybe it's something about having Akira around to babysit."

"Guilty? What on Earth were you feeling guilty for?"

Paradoxically, it is hard to actually get myself to say it, even though it feels good to talk about it. "I'm worried about what's going to happen to Mitsue, if I… if… something happens to me."

She is quiet for a long time, then smiles a little. "…Sometimes, Hisao, I think you just say things because you like to comfort me when I start to cry."

"Oh, believe me, it would be much easier for me if you didn't cry when I tried to talk about this."

She laughs wryly, trying to relax herself a little. "Well, I promise I won't."

"Thank you."

We're both quiet for a minute or two.

"If it makes you feel better, I worry about that all the time," Lilly says seriously.

"I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse."

"I was always worried about what I would do if something happened to you. It has always been probably the most frightening thing in the world to me. But it got a hundred times worse last year, because now it's Mitsue that I'm worried about that for, and not myself."

She is serious and firm, but now that I'm looking for it, it does kind of seem like she's trying not to cry.

Eventually I come up with a response. "Does it make me a bad person if I feel regret?"

"What do you mean, you 'feel regret'?"

"I feel like… I don't know. I guess sometimes I feel like it was irresponsible to have Mitsue. Whatever happens to him… it will sort of be my fault, won't it?"

"No, it won't. And no, that doesn't make you a bad person. But you absolutely shouldn't regret anything."

"I do wonder sometimes." I shrug- at this point, I'm just thinking aloud. "There are a lot of things we could have done differently. I don't know if I regret them. But I wonder sometimes."

"I don't want you to feel guilty."

"What if you moved to Scotland? Do you ever think about it?"

"What do you mean? When?"

"In high school."

"You mean, what if you had never followed me to the airport?"

"That's right."

"No."

"No what?"

"No, I've never wondered about that."

"Things would be really different."

"Of course they would."

"I just wonder."

"There's no use in that." She sighs, taking a moment as though she is trying to come up with the proper phrasing. "Do you love me?"

"Of course I do."

"Do you love Mitsue?"

"God. Of course."

"Then why bother getting sentimental about that? How could things have possibly gone any better than this?"

I know she's right, of course. Even still… it gnaws at me a little.

"You're telling me you never think about it? Honestly."

"Honestly, Hisao." She turns to face me again. "Let me be honest with you. I will tell you the God-given truth, so that you will never have to worry about this again." She clasps her hands together. "Not for one moment. Not for one moment have I ever wondered if having Mitsue was the right decision, and not for one moment in ten years have I _ever_ regretted staying here in Japan with you. _Never_. I don't wonder what it would be like. I am the happiest I could ever imagine myself being. That is the truth."

"Oh my God." …As though I wasn't feeling sentimental enough before. "I love you so much, Lilly."

"I know you do. You don't have to feel guilty about anything. I just want you to see things from my point of view." She smiles gently. "I love you."

I look out over Yamaku's campus again. Amusingly, now that Lilly said something about it, I am really tuned into how beautiful it is. I wonder briefly what the night is like for her.

I don't think anyone else outside is paying attention to us, which is good, because I would prefer not to have anything cut into the intimacy.

I feel appreciative like I never have before. Lilly is so insightful; I am so glad I have her around.

I don't know why I get so sentimental now, or why I wonder so much. It's an interesting thought, what she said… I honestly don't know if I could possibly be any happier in life than I am right now, no matter what I did.

But Lilly is right.

What's the use in wondering about it?


End file.
